No kids, so I have a little bit limited perspective. But I will say, if you give this advice, it’s also probably a good idea to give limits. my old man gave me the same advice when I was in 5th grade. I was kind of a nerdy kid, but I also shot up early, so I was pretty big at that point. Bully shoved me down, and I beat the hell out of him. Ended up sitting on his chest slamming a textbook into his face. Broken nose, knocked out a tooth, face all cut up, definitely way beyond what my dad was expecting, and then little 11 year old me was all sorts of confused about what I did wrong.
Admittedly, I never got bullied again, and my dad signed me up for football like a week later, which was really the start of a lot of good paths for me, so I guess it worked out in the end. Don’t know how that would play out these days though.
Thanks @Spock81 and really awesome to have you on here! My son is in sixth grade too. It doesn’t sound like it’s real bad this year, but he’s a super sensitive kid so it’s always there. Sometimes it’s hard to tell when someone was actually picking on him vs he’s paranoid someone might have been picking on him because he gets his feelings hurt easily. There was a kid back when he was in 3rd grade that was absolutely awful to him, though. Like I was meeting with the principal and trying to find this kid’s parents (who simply ignored us) every day I was home. His younger sister is more confident than he is, so she ends up protecting him; kind of funny, but really nice.
@simo74 my advise is generally the same as yours. My son is actually on the older end of his grade, and absolutely enormous, but he’s a gentle giant. I sincerely believe, had I been his size, I’d have spent my youth killing people on the gridiron instead of in the desert, but he just has no interest in being the big dude. He and his couple of friends just want to eat their lunch and talk about superheroes and be silly and stuff.
@atlas13 I definitely appreciate you weighing in. The parent in me really appreciates the maturity in saying “I’m not a parent, so take this with a grain of salt;” there’s nothing better than childless people writing judge mental mommy blogs and the like. Your old gunny is a gentleman after my own heart. I’m with you that we don’t want to raise a little murderer, but I also think your dad gave you a real solution: reading your post, you only beat up the one kid that earned it, and then you went onto to play ball and defend our freedoms… I’d say that worked out. I think it’s similar to how you’d lead people (or yourself) in any walk of life: your advice is based on their default. With my daughter, I do have to talk to her about how other people are going to feel because her default is a little more self-assured. With my son, he’s always going to worry about whether others think he’s nice, so I have to edge him out of thinking you can control everyone else’s actions/ feelings.
Folks - I really do appreciate the engagement on this! This community is much, much more than picking up (moderately) heavy metal discs!
In like 2nd grade I had a 4th grader on my bus who like to bully kids. One day it was my turn and he thought he could push me out of the seat… I was pushing back, hands slipped, and i busted his nose. Like blood everywhere, kid crying and everything.
When I came home, my mom asked me what happened (bus driver and daycare called her and told her I punched a kid in the nose). I told her that he was picking on me so I punched him in the nose… she told me “good” lol. Daycare didn’t feel like that was the appropriate response, but I still approve of that answer.
Anyways, I got into a lot of fights as a kid… at least once a year up until high school (kids stopped picking fights with me when they realized I was the type of fighter that throws kicks and trains martial arts… fight in 8th grade kinda shed light on that one). Martial arts was a good outlet for me, and it helped me avoid getting my ass kicked quite a bit too (only lost one fight - I blame the 75lb weight differential in 3rd grade lol).
Maybe I’m just some damaged goods or something, but I think getting into all those fights was a byproduct of me standing up for myself; I wouldn’t change anything about what I did or what I was taught because it made me who I am today (because I am the envy of man now).
Sorry your son is going through this… this is one of those things that, in my opinion, gets resolved after your son throws his first punch in a fight.
The only disks I pick up are the heavy ones. Fight me.
I was also short, ugly and overweight as a kid. I was never bullied though, or maybe I was and was socially inept enough not to care.
On the other hand, I had developed the reputation of being violent after kicking a girl so hard she had a serious bruise on her shin for 3 weeks and I think a good portion of my classmates were genuinely afraid of me despite me being short, fat and weak
I got picked on as a kid. I was chubby and super dorky. It really bothered me, like I was upset all the time, until it didn’t. I don’t know what changed, but I just stopped caring. I ended up being moderately good at a couple sports, which was next to godliness in my hometown, so then all the same bullies were nice to me. I legit just didn’t care, though.
My son is different, but the same. He just wants to go about his business and do his thing. His interests are things like drama and movies, so he doesn’t get the benefit of the jock aura (is that even a thing anymore?). Where I actually kind of enjoyed confrontation, even if I didn’t care much about folks’ opinions of me, he just wants to live and let live. In fact, he’s in his acting class now and then I’m taking him to his Black Panther movie when it ends.
Girls are rough! I remember watching one of my friends play soccer in college because they got the track the same mornings as us or something where we interacted. Anyway, I had no idea what I was in for - they were beating the crap out of each other!
I got picked on by the year bully once, didn’t even have to deck him but I stood up to him and that was enough.
I would have avoided throwing a punch at all cost really as I loved smoking weed, drinking bitter, playing rugby and playing in a band more than anything else. Although I must say being in a few different social groups means you end up with quite a few friends across the school.
I guess your son has to find his own way of dealing with things which is super hard as a parent to ‘let go of’. It’s natural to want your child to fix things like you would now sometimes forgetting that schools and kids are so different these days and there is so much more pressure on the young people od today.
That being said, the advice I would give my son and to anyone is bullies don’t like being hit in the face! You should only have to do it once.
Ok, superheroes - I hope you all read this, because I think I am about to change my log title again and I don’t know how confusing that is for folks; probably not until tomorrow in case that helps my friends find it. I’m going to call it Silver and Steel because I think it’s a pile of awesomeness and dual meanings:
Word and deed
What you have to do and what you want
Monsters and men
Win and get paid
Etc. It just feels super clever to me, plus I’m now enjoying The Witcher on Netflix… in the 20 minute increments my attention span will allow.
Yesterday my daughter went to a sleepover with a new friend. She had a ton of fun and they’re all super cute when they do that.
My wife and took my son to Black Panther 2. I liked the first one a lot, but this one was super boring to me; like watching 2.5 hours of CSPAN punctuated by a 30 minute eulogy. The bad guy was also the corniest thing I’ve ever seen in my life. I don’t think this is a spoiler, but read with caution I guess: how the hell is the one dude that’s shirtless the entire movie the one person in your entire billion dollar superhero industry you’re not going to ask to work out?
Today was an awesome day with everyone: we got a ton of Christmas lights up, because Santa visits you with a murderous vengeance if you wait too long, and just watched football and got our acts together for next week. Sundays end up being chore days, but we all pitch in together with pretty minimal whining (I only throw like two tantrums, but I’m good after my nap) and it’s the way it should be.
In between drop-off and pickup for cheer practice (where I currently sit), I fit in a back workout and Target pickup.
Back! I went crazy with chains today even though the program didn’t call for it. I think I just wanted to make a bunch of noise.
Meadows Rows
Chains for all sets - I like chains a lot on these even though it’s kind of working against the strength curve
-/8
25/6
50/5
75/8 x 4
90s between sets
One-arm BB Row
Chains stayed on
50/8 x 4
DB Pullovers
55/12 x 3
Close Neutral Grip Pull-ups
3 x 8 w/ 30s hang on last set
DB Shrugs
100/12 x 2
3s hold every rep
RDL
Chains again!
135/5
225/5
255/5
285/5
315/5
Hyperextension
25/10 + BW/5
Elliptical: 20 minutes with the aforementioned Witcher
The sleep is getting weird, my friends. I think I’m averaging 3-4 hours a night over the last few weeks and it’s starting to get to me with some real impact to my daily activities. Do you all think it’s the volume/ frequency of my lifting? I’d normally scoff at that, but I notice how much weaker I get the second day of lifting in a row even with unrelated body parts. I also think, looking back, I might sleep a little more on days I don’t lift (which seems counterintuitive). Anyway, I’ve got to give something a shot. My thought process is to do either arms or just some cardio tomorrow, nothing on Wednesday, something amusing on Thanksgiving (I don’t have old @T3hPwnisher’s high-handle trap bar, but the concept is sound), and then fart around with the kids through the weekend. When we come back to normal next week, I’m going to try either Doggcrapp (I’ve run it before) or Fortitude Training (I think all of @Andrewgen_Receptors’s suggestions have been insightful, so there’s no reason to doubt this one). Either of those would bring the volume and days way down. Off days could then be dedicated to cardio, with maybe a hard conditioning shot followed by a steady state chaser. That’s more or less what I did when I was an athlete, so there’s no reason to think it’s not a good move. If this goes the right direction, I’ll visit punny’s list of potential programs when I next get bored. The sleep has got to improve, though.
Anyway, this morning was:
Speed Bench
Chains for everything again… they’re so heavy!
45/12
45/8
95/6
135/4
155/3 x 8
Machine Rear Delt
25, 20, 15, 12, 9
DB Side Raise
35/8 x 4
Smith OHP
Was supposed to be cage press, so tried this as a sub. I liked the feel a lot, just didn’t have any gas in the tank at all.
95/3
135/1
Incline treadmill until I needed to pee, so probably 10 minutes or so
Well, i think there’s a big difference between failure training (DC and Fortitude) and high volume training - regarding recovery.
You simply can’t do failure training many days throughout the week, and your sessions won’t be so long (I’ll sling around 18-20k tonnage in less than an hour). But i think failure training has an inherently different tax on your system, so you really can’t let yourself neglect recovery. If you feel like this is a better balance for you - i think you should go for it! Otherwise, they’re are factors outside of training that can be considered…
you’re in a deficit still, no? Sleep gets worse in a deficit (as you know), but i think this also has a greater impact with age. Not that you are any less picturesque of a stallion, just a growth hormone thing.
do you have a bedtime routine? Go to sleep at the same time every night? Did this start/change after the time change (decent indicator event IMO).
do you have any big meals before bed? Does your last meal of the day contain carbs? Have you tried the old glass of milk (warm/cold, doesn’t matter) before bed trick?
I think you should adjust what you think needs adjusting, maybe you are overtraining for your deficit recover-ability, or maybe it’s something else… training is only a short period of any day, though it can have outsized impact compared to time spent.
Of course i take it as a compliment for my suggestions to be taken seriously, but i still believe the best training method (for those who arent specializing) is the method you enjoy most.
^though i have made significant gains on programs i didn’t enjoy (like Darden’s Surge Challenge)
I like these a lot me than i should. FWIW, it seems to be the thing that only big guys do… so it must work, right?
Fair point - I am. It’s not real aggressive, I’m losing ~ 1 lbs. a week at right about 202 now, but yest I’m in a deficit.
Correct.
I do. I am pretty consistent here (having kids actually helps for once!). I typically don’t have a tough time falling asleep, I just can’t stay asleep worth a damn.
Nope - I’ve always been a bad sleeper. I didn’t seem to need much for decades, which was fine with me. The last couple years it’s really gotten kind of iffy - like there’s at least one night every couple weeks I just don’t sleep at all. Most nights I’ve been sleeping at least 4 hours, though. I’m typically fine or, at worst, it will build up but then I’ll sleep big one night and be all fine again. The last couple months or so, though, I think maybe my sleep quality is suffering as well - I am not sleeping much and it’s destroying me instead of just being how I am. It’s possible it’s just because I’m old as dirt, but it’s actually starting to make my days less productive so I do need to take steps to improve.
This is where I’m probably least consistent. My biggest meal of the day is dinner and it is also my carbiest. I think that does help me fall asleep. The when of the meal tends to vary moderately significantly depending on what our daily activities are - somewhere between 6 and 9pm. I have not tried the glass of milk - it really just hasn’t occurred to me. Maybe that’s something to give a try when I wake up.
I absolutely agree with this.
This is all totally fair. I think I’m at a point I’m just not thinking very straight this morning anyway. Shit’s getting weird, man!
There’s a reason detectives follow the clues to solve the mystery… I was shocked how awesome this one felt - very comfortable. I’d imagine I already can’t fit through doorways.
It sounds like you’ve already accounted for most variables and have healthy sleep habits already. It could be the deficit, but I don’t think a mild deficit would have that big am impact… timing does line up with the start of your cut though (i think).
Pending how seriously you want to address this, there are some options that probably carry less consequences than getting hooked on sleep meds. If willing to spend some money (maybe a little over $100 a month) i would recommend looking into different peptides to increase Growth Hormone production. My wife is taking Sermorelin for anti-aging benefits (GH booster, skin turnover rate, hair growth, sleep improvement, subtle metabolism increase) and she likes its benefits enough to continue use. It’s a daily injection and prescribed via Defy, so fully legal. Happy to send information your way if things of this nature might interest you.
If my sleep was poor enough to impact my job, it would be worth my money to make my time more productive… but i work one of those jobs where me doing my job wrong ends up getting people killed (or the wrong ones being killed) so productivity and attentiveness is required. Maybe not as big an impact for your job, but it’s worth considering professional impact IMO.
I’m uninformed on most sleep meds as I’m too much of a conspiracy theorist to trust they won’t have a long-term effect… can’t help you on that front.
I like to think I can do my job with my eyes closed at this point, but I’d rather not continue to put that to the literal test.
I do appreciate that suggestion. My hormone panel was out of range in a couple markers on my last labwork, but GH didn’t come up. I’m not even sure what test that would be, though. I’m certainly open to pursue some strategies at this point.
