No offense to the ladies, but I stopped caring about what they find ‘attractive’ a LONG time ago, like, before finishing puberty.
Have you actually LISTENED and looked at ON PAPER what is spouted off?
Let’s look at some examples.
On marks of sensuality:
In the same conversation that I’ve heard how amazing musicians are because they are “so sensual!” I have also heard that the ability to dance well is a true sign of how good someone is in bed. Ok, fine, but HOW MANY MUSICIANS DO YOU SEE TEARING IT UP ON THE DANCE FLOOR?
I’ve not seen any. Why? Most musicians - and I know quite a few - are introverts or just keep to themselves. So, would you dismiss the wallflower because he’s not dancing? Or would you ask him what instrument he plays?
On what they find physically appealing:
I’ve heard a lot of women say they like those tendons that outline the lower most abdominals (especially when you can see a guy’s hip bone). However, I’ve also heard them say they don’t care for truly ripped abdominals.
How the fuck can you have those tendons/hip bones showing without having a 6 pack?
On subtlety:
Women like to communicate with signals. “I walked past him three times AND I giggled AND I twirled my hair AND I cracked my gum. Why won’t he ask me out?!#@$” Maybe he thinks you are lost? Why can’t you just say, “Hi, I’m _____, and if this seat isn’t reserved for a date, I wouldn’t mind if we enjoyed each other’s company.”
But they’ll curse a shy guy and speculate about his sexuality (because they get PISSED at the idea that they could be rejected) because he’s too nervous to ask them out! Funny how that works…
Bottom line: Stop pandering.
That goes for women, too, that they should not pander to men to win their approval. You cannot manipulate chemistry. It is either there, or it is not. It is why the guy who only ever dated blondes and swore he’d not go for anything else, ends up marrying a redhead and never figures out why it worked out like that. It is why the girl who’d only ever date guys tall enough to make her look like a keychain, ends up with a guy who is even shorter than her before she puts on heels.
That is the beauty of chemistry.
You should not give a shit about a laundry list of what others find attractive like it is some work order that needs to be fulfilled. You want to see what’s ON that list? Fine, but don’t take it and try to play Origami with it. It will drive you mad and it will age you, I promise.
My friend’s father passed away earlier this year. He was very dear to me, very wise and always offered great advice.
He once said that when you go to bed at night is the one time in the day when you are TRULY alone in the world. Even if you sleep with a spouse, when they are finally asleep and you are still awake, trying to fall asleep, it is just you in the company of your own conscience.
So, at that point, if you cannot be at peace with what you have done that day or have done recently, then NOBODY can bring you that peace, because you are all alone. You have to always be able to have that peace of mind, to be at ease with who you are and what you have done in life. I will never forget that advice.