Yes, abandonment is evil, but if you’re trying to figure out what to do then it really boils down to a simple question: do you love HER or not?
Yes her mother will make it tough on you and yes, your legal rights are limited.
Do you want to be a part of HER life?
The case in the OP is clear cut since he knew EXACTLY what he was getting himself into when he married into the family. Now that issue has been resolved, I ask about another scenario.
If you found out tomorrow you were cuckolded, and the child you had been raising for 8 years was not your own, would your answer change?
If you abandon her now, there’s a decent chance that you will see her again…
…working in a strip club.
[quote]himynameis wrote:
[quote]Chushin wrote:
Are you kidding?[/quote]
No. IT AIN’T MINE.[/quote]
What? On what planet do you live.
Fact pattern:
She is “yours” you dolt.
Holy shit. This better be a troll. You took the responsibility with a smile when you dick was getting wet with her mother, so you need to man the fuck up, act like an adult and fulfill the responsibility you volunteered for.
It takes a special man to take the children of another man under their wing as their own, and love and care for that child like a good parent would. You’ve done this. Stop being stupid and work this out for YOUR kid’s sake.
[quote]SkyNett wrote:
You’re a miserable fucking piece of shit - poor kid, if you’re the closest thing she has to a dad.
Fuck you. [/quote]
At this point, I tend to agree with you.
However, if dude turns around and does what he needs to do by his daughter, he will have reversed your currently accurate description of him.
[quote]therajraj wrote:
If you found out tomorrow you were cuckolded, and the child you had been raising for 8 years was not your own, would your answer change?[/quote]
This is purely hypothetical correct?
In that case it is going to be hard to not see the children as your own if you were any sort of quality parent before you found out.
The situation would be sticky, but I would still be my kid’s father.
The OP doesn’t want the right answer, he wants one that justifies what he is already thinking of doing. Loving that kid seems like an obligation to him. What a fool.
[quote]USAWchamp wrote:
I’d say leave her. Live life as a single dude or find another woman and start a real family with a daughter who is actually yours.
[/quote]
T-Nation’s newest troll trolls another trolls troll thread…well played sir.
[quote]usmccds423 wrote:
[quote]USAWchamp wrote:
I’d say leave her. Live life as a single dude or find another woman and start a real family with a daughter who is actually yours.
[/quote]
T-Nation’s newest troll trolls another trolls troll thread…well played sir. [/quote]
ORRR…Tnations newest troll trolls his own troll tread using a newer troll identity. the troll is strong with this one.
Aloha,
Let’s not be harsh people.
I can understand not wanting to deal with the drama…HOWEVER…
You will forever regret any decision to walk-a-way from this young lady. Your life will FOREVER be rewarded with an admiration and love from her that you will get from no other DAUGHTER. She might not be of your blood, but she is your DAUGHTER, not step!!!
One of my closest friends ended a relationship to a man that she wasn’t even married too; he was the only real Dad her daughter knew. They bonded instantly. Even though this relationship is over this gentleman is even going so far as to adopt her, because this is the only daughter he has ever had. The mother is very supportive of their relationship even though she constantly talks about what a “bastard” he is (he had an affair).
No matter what your relationship is with the mother, should have no bearing on your relationship with YOUR DAUGHTER. You love her, love should never walk-a-way!
[quote]dshroy wrote:
[quote]usmccds423 wrote:
[quote]USAWchamp wrote:
I’d say leave her. Live life as a single dude or find another woman and start a real family with a daughter who is actually yours.
[/quote]
T-Nation’s newest troll trolls another trolls troll thread…well played sir. [/quote]
ORRR…Tnations newest troll trolls his own troll tread using a newer troll identity. the troll is strong with this one.[/quote]
o_O
Do the right thing, as hard it may seem. The world is tough enough & there are enough wayward kids out there as it is that would switch places w/her in an instant to have a parental figure around.
She may not be blood but if you’ve invested the time, love, & effort over EIGHT years, being more or less her “Dad”, sack up, stay the course and see it through.
I would have to think your actions reverberate with her over those eight years and have helped shape her personality. Then you want to ditch that?
Dude, she may grow up to be the best thing you ever leave this planet as your legacy (no strip clubs in her future, hopefully)
Think about it.
[quote]therajraj wrote:
The case in the OP is clear cut since he knew EXACTLY what he was getting himself into when he married into the family. Now that issue has been resolved, I ask about another scenario.
If you found out tomorrow you were cuckolded, and the child you had been raising for 8 years was not your own, would your answer change?[/quote]
If I found out today that my four year old son had been sired by another man it would not change my love or devotion to him one iota. Not one.
If I took another child to raise as my own at an age where most of her earliest memories would include me as her father figure, I cannot even imagine the kind of amoral mentality it would require NOT to feel all the love, concern, care, responsibility and devotion that any parent feels for his child.
Thinking about this now, particularly in light of the OP’s third post in this thread, I am 99.999999% convinced this is just shitty and particularly tasteless troll job. I do always leave that tiny percentage for those few vile humans that we can never quite get rid of, like the last stinking bit of dog shit that you can’t get out of the tread of your shoe.
Troll Point #1: First post.
#2: Use the highly emotionally and semantically charged word “abandon” in the title of his post
#3: No one so amorally selfish is going to have a 12 year old girl actively lobbying for his personal time unless he is grooming her sexually or actively abusing her. If it’s actual love, that is reserved for those have at least a little of it to give in return.
#4: The dead giveaway, mentioned earlier, was this half-wit’s response to Chushin at the bottom of the first page. Anyone morally conflicted enough to at least ask about this is not going to suddenly change character completely and begin referring to the daughter in question as if she were a shared pet or piece of furniture.
I pray to God I am right. And if you are for real, I now agree with the other posters who believe you should remove yourself from her life, you steaming, worm infested pile of dog shit.
You should.
You’re going to ruin her life the moment she comes to you with an actual problem and you completely blow it off. It’s obvious that you don’t have any actual feelings for her, and the sooner you let know her that, the better. At least right now she isn’t quite into the teenage angst and anger years.
Obviously it would be best if you made up some reason to let her down gently and so that she won’t be ruined by the experience (near impossible from my understanding of child development though), but that’s your prerogative.
As for your question though- Yes. It’s absolutely evil for you to abandon a child that considers you her father. Who fucking cares about being biological or not. You’ve known her since she was 4. You’re the only father figure she knows. The fact that you didn’t even develop any genuine care and feeling for her in the last 8 years is abhorrent on your part.
I really do hope you never have any children in the future.
it’s not that I don’t care about her, it’s just that I don’t LOVE her like my own. I’m 30 and I want to revisit the pussy/money/weed lifestyle of my youth before I get too old for it to work anymore. I don’t want to be a dad to an adolescent girl who isn’t even mine. the whole ‘dad’ thing was just because I was married to her mom…i never LOVED for her like i would if she were my own child. i mean I say it to make her feel loved because I do care about her but she ISN’T mine.
[quote]himynameis wrote:
it’s not that I don’t care about her, it’s just that I don’t LOVE her like my own. I’m 30 and I want to revisit the pussy/money/weed lifestyle of my youth before I get too old for it to work anymore. I don’t want to be a dad to an adolescent girl who isn’t even mine. the whole ‘dad’ thing was just because I was married to her mom…i never LOVED for her like i would if she were my own child. i mean I say it to make her feel loved because I do care about her but she ISN’T mine.[/quote]
Let me guess, You want to score some 18yo vag before your hair falls out???
But on the off chance you are real, read what Cortes said. I would also add that if you do stay, you have to actually be a role model. By staying in her life and letting her see the kind of man you say you want to become now that your “free” is just a detrimental to her. Also to the pussy/money/weed lifestyle thing, grow up.
Why did you and your ex get a divorce might I ask?
Why the flying fuck did you marry at 22 if you wanted to live the “good” life? Esp. someone who already had a child?
I don’t even know why having a relationship with your step-child matters if you want to live the “good” life? She’s not living with you, and it’s not going to ruin her to know that her ex-step father is out banging chicks and getting drunk if you don’t necessarily hide it from her. You already divorced her mother; you have no obligation to stay faithful to her mother and as such you’re free to do as many idiotic things as you want.
The issue here is that you want to abandon a child who considers you her father, all because you’re selfish. I get that the normal “you abandon most, if not all, of your needs the moment you have a child” doesn’t matter to you because she’s a step-child, but did the thought that you are taking up the position of a father-figure never cross your mind when you married? Marriage brings responsibilities (something that many people today do not seem to understand), and marrying a woman with a young child brings even more responsibilities. A child is the ultimate responsibility for most people.
In any case, abandon her. You know you want to. You’re not going to be a good father figure, and you’re going to ruin the girl’s life at some point.
And please never have children.
[quote]himynameis wrote:
it’s not that I don’t care about her, it’s just that I don’t LOVE her like my own. I’m 30 and I want to revisit the pussy/money/weed lifestyle of my youth before I get too old for it to work anymore. I don’t want to be a dad to an adolescent girl who isn’t even mine. the whole ‘dad’ thing was just because I was married to her mom…i never LOVED for her like i would if she were my own child. i mean I say it to make her feel loved because I do care about her but she ISN’T mine.[/quote]
Thanks for trolling TNation. We love a good laugh in the GAL. Come back and see us again soon!
Get a vasectomy bud. Because your next real child may look like the mother and not you.
100%
What a waste of time.