Exactly how I fell asleep in my younger days… half-drunk on the couch.
Thanks for adding that - the blended oats are frequently hailed by folks that had a tough time gaining weight, but that was never a horse I really needed to ride so I’m not that useful
Oh my goodness you got civ-splained about what its like to be in the military, haha
Ah man, when I first started bulking I had a bit of a drinking problem and was completely clueless. I’d add 10 beers to MyFitnessPal and then make an 800-calorie shake only to be woken up by spilling it on myself as I dozed off on the sofa.
Powdered oats though, an absolute cheat code for those struggling to get the calories in. Two shakes with milk and a couple scoops of powdered oats is way easier, healthier, and cheaper than that GOMAD shit some people do. Add a scoop of whey to those shakes and you got 800 x 2…1600 calories from something that goes down as easy as water once you’re used to it. Within a few weeks you can go down to just the one shake as you find your appetite for real food goes up.
Ha!
Next on When IIFYM Goes Wrong…
if you’re not gaining weight, you need to eat more, period. That’s just how this works, it’s not complicated. how you ‘feel’ about it is truly irrelevant.
Cortisol is almost certainly not the issue. Your stressors are pretty normal things for a 30-something male. People die in our lives, our jobs suck sometimes, break ups happen, moving happens. These are things we literally all go through, often within a very short time span. These things shouldn’t prevent you from having success in the gym, PARTICULARLY from a hormonal perspective.
So yea. You literally just described what it’s like to be alive. Do you think the rest of us have ‘ideal circumstances’? You have a very… interesting perspective if you think anything you described in your original post is out of the ordinary.
I am going to disagree. IMO, cortisol is a major problem that needs addressed.
Maybe it’s just anecdotal, but most all the successful bodybuilders I know seemed carefree. The only cortisol that they had to address was that encountered after a training session.
I agree at higher levels of development. I’m not saying cortisol management (stress management along with it) isn’t important. I’m saying I highly doubt it’s the reason he isn’t gaining weight, particularly as a novice to intermediate lifter. Now, perhaps the stress and cortisol are leading to a suppressed appetite. In that sense, the stress would need to managed for weight gain to happen.
But I’ll also reiterate the he didn’t mention any stressors in his life that are particularly unusual, so it’s hard to imagine that he’s dealing with any more stress than someone like me or pwnisher, or many other very successful lifters.
IMO, it isn’t the outside force that produces the cortisol. It is the lack of internal coping of stress that produces the cortisol.
If you feel that every little problem needs immediate solving you will most likely become a cortisol production factory.
Do what you can to solve the problem and put it behind you.
I blame myself for opening up the opportunity
My oldest brother was a cook on a destroyer. All he did for several years was eat & lift, and on shore leave in other countries he would drink & fight.
He was a model sailor. 
Definitely man, I’ll try to improve my daily regime more over December… And yes, controlling something would be great…
Great answer man, many thanks! I’ll definitely use this. Also, I’ll try to blender oats again, but I’m really curious, how to do it to “preserve” them in drinking shape more than few minutes… Maybe better blender? 
there’s a TON of truth to that, no question. really good point. Some people just get overwhelmed by what most of us think of as ordinary life. We all have different stress thresholds. Perhaps my perspective is just different from his regarding what is an inordinate amount of ‘bad stuff’ happening in a short time frame. Everything he mentioned is stuff I know how to cope with. But perhaps it’s new to him, given that he’s younger than me.
Well, to be completely honest, the “breakup” part got the better of me more, in the long-term… Also, both jobs aren’t so easy, due to a series of stupid administrative mistakes (not made by myself) connected to my PhD - since January I’ll probably leave the part-time job, as I should get a payrise.
My training is the basic version of Mehdi’s Stronglifts 5x5, i.e. squats, benchpress, deadlift, overhead press and barbell rows, supplemented by hanging knee raises, if I have enough time and the arm day on Saturday, if possible.
Also, my diet consists of “eating whatever I can” during the day, so yes, the regime is far from ideal. Today I had one gainer, chicken wings and baked potatoes. For the dinner I’m planning on either some chicken or beef with veggies.
Ok, aside from trying to deal with the problems at hand (which I am), do you have any “relaxation” tips? I’ basically only watching Netflix or playing amateur competitive chess - which is not so relaxing after all
Do you have anything better in mind?
You must realize the things you can affect and the things you have no control (like your stupid admins.) If you can positively affect things, do it. If you have no control, all the worry in the world will have zero affect. So put it out of your circle of control.
I am not very optimistic about people who are not optimistic.
Well, aside from things I’m literally unable to control or do differently, I’m really trying to deal with them - I’ve “evaded a bullet” being forced to do some illegal activities in a long run in my previous job, but I had to move abroad (in my field there are not many jobs per country).
And so - this is the better option, albeit temporary. Since January I’m probably dropping the part-time job, which will help, somehow…
Also, it probably looks like that, but I’m not looking for excuses - basically I wanted some tips (and got some really good so far), how to ease the situation. I can excuse my lack of success by myself without T-Nation
Well, I must say, that hard-boiled eggs seem as a really good idea how to “conserve” some calories…
Well, thank you! Oat powder seems exactly like something which could help…
With the eating part - you’re very probably right, when I’m trying to go over my last few days…
Also, I didn’t mean to offend anybody here with that - definitely many of you do have similar (or bigger) problems in your life. I was just talking about mine.