Pch2's Adventures

Training
541

[quote]ComixGuy wrote:
You don’t suck at BJJ. But your fear of sucking will incapicitate you and give you undesired results. [/quote]

I do kinda suck, but that just means I have to get better. My initial reaction was - Fuck this. I’ve learned that my initial reaction tends not to be one to stick with. If I keep plugging away, it’ll get better. I don’t suck as much as I used to.

Do I tell him to go a little lighter on me? He went 100% and my skill isn’t strong enough to do anything but be owned by that. I get nothing out of just being crushed, and submitted.

542

[quote]Shire wrote:
Don’t be stupid. You cried, no big deal.[/quote]

I got scared and then I was in a room full of aggressive men. It felt like a big deal.

I’m already used to it, lol, I need to get used to sweeping, choking and knocking the wind out of people.

543

[quote]pch2 wrote:
This is kinda what I’m worried about, but then, I think I want them to go a little easy on me for a while. Yesterday morning, a guy put his hand on my hip to move me out of the way, and I jumped a little. That has never been my reaction to strangers touching me.
[/quote]

You’ve had a lot going on lately. Perhaps it is time for you to spend time and energy just on yourself - relaxing.

Also, you mentioned the guy you were rolling with was going 100% and he has more skill and experience. He should not be going all out with you. As you pointed out, it makes it impossible to learn. When you have more skill than someone else - that is your opportunity to teach. You sharpen your skills with people who are at your level and higher.

544

[quote]nvh95 wrote:
You’ve had a lot going on lately. Perhaps it is time for you to spend time and energy just on yourself - relaxing.

Also, you mentioned the guy you were rolling with was going 100% and he has more skill and experience. He should not be going all out with you. As you pointed out, it makes it impossible to learn. When you have more skill than someone else - that is your opportunity to teach. You sharpen your skills with people who are at your level and higher. [/quote]

I think so too. Thanksgiving is coming at a good time.

I didn’t think he would, and previously when we rolled he didn’t. I think he was just in one of those smash moods, and I happened to be the one under him. Should I have to start every match with a reminder that I’m smaller and newer?

545

[quote]pch2 wrote:
nvh95 wrote:
You’ve had a lot going on lately. Perhaps it is time for you to spend time and energy just on yourself - relaxing.

Also, you mentioned the guy you were rolling with was going 100% and he has more skill and experience. He should not be going all out with you. As you pointed out, it makes it impossible to learn. When you have more skill than someone else - that is your opportunity to teach. You sharpen your skills with people who are at your level and higher.

I think so too. Thanksgiving is coming at a good time.

I didn’t think he would, and previously when we rolled he didn’t. I think he was just in one of those smash moods, and I happened to be the one under him. Should I have to start every match with a reminder that I’m smaller and newer?[/quote]

No you dont need a disclaimer, he probably got a lot of shit from the other guys for hurting you as it is, I seriously doubt hes going to “forget”.

546

[quote]Westclock wrote:
Fuck girl thats nothing. I cried at the end of the Iron Giant.[/quote]

I cry, I cry out of stress a lot. It’s not the crying that bothers me, it’s the crying in front of people that does. I prefer to keep my crying confined to the bathtub.

[quote]I laughed it off, I suggest you do the same, make it a joke if anyone asks, if they dont let it die.
[/quote]

I’m going to get a lot of - are you okays for a while, but then hopefully it dies. I just know it’s going to turn into a joke after a while though, that seems to be how guys handle uncomfortable.

I’m going to have to tell coach what happened, right? He’s been gone this week.

547

I agree with Westclock (love his Skeletor avatar). The dude doesn’t need a disclaimer and I’m sure the others and most especially the instructor gave him some grief.

Maybe you could give yourself a spa day either just at home (turn off the phone!) or maybe at a day spa… Or a great deep tissue massage to work out all the kinks from BJJ. Can you tell I want a weekend like that?? :slight_smile:

548

[quote]pch2 wrote:
Westclock wrote:
Fuck girl thats nothing. I cried at the end of the Iron Giant.

I cry, I cry out of stress a lot. It’s not the crying that bothers me, it’s the crying in front of people that does. I prefer to keep my crying confined to the bathtub.

I laughed it off, I suggest you do the same, make it a joke if anyone asks, if they dont let it die.

I’m going to get a lot of - are you okays for a while, but then hopefully it dies. I just know it’s going to turn into a joke after a while though, that seems to be how guys handle uncomfortable.

I’m going to have to tell coach what happened, right? He’s been gone this week.[/quote]

Crying in front of other people sucks. The best thing you can do is figure out why it bothers you so much and let it go. Trust me when I say it gets worse as you get older and the pattern is harder to break.

549

pch2,

A good instructor always carefully selects the partners, especially for older guys, children and girls.

It’s important that live training is properly supervised and best with a black belt instructor.

Knowing how to pair people up is an important skill. In order to keep students from getting discouraged, quitting, or worse, getting injured, the teacher must keep the bigger, stronger heavy guys away from the smaller, weaker, inexperienced students.

The most dangerous people to train with, even for the experienced BJJ player, are white belts (and even blue belts.) Developmentally, most players at this level don’t know how to roll in soft, relaxed manner.

Many male white and blue belts–sometimes even purple–when rolling with a girl will start out but if the girl begins to display technical superiority, thus getting the better of them, the guys will amp up the power, using their strength to physically dominate, negating the girl’s skills.

You can tell the health of a BJJ school by the number of girl players and men over 40. If there are few or none, the students at that school are more likely a bunch or roughnecks who try to tear each other apart each training.

Instead of trying to perfect their skills and expand their repertoire, they make training into a big competition. Training is NOT a competition–that’s what tournaments are for.

While the big guy probably didn’t intend to hurt you, he simply didn’t know any better and probably Darren, looking out for your welfare, would never had made that pairing in the first place.

You say he was out of town, so when that happens, you need to choose your partners wisely and understand the potential for trauma–physical and otherwise.

You shouldn’t be going at it with a 200+ pound white belt beast at all, for your own longevity n the game, not without realizing the potential consequences. You don’t want to spend an evening all shook up, much less be out for six weeks with a connective tissue injury.

As far as bursting into tears, this is jiujitsu and there are moments which are very “real”. This is combat: a reenactment of the life and death struggle. Enhancing that with the big man/small girl scenario makes it juicier. I think that’s understood by everyone who trains with you and they experience their own version of it.

Oh, and congratulations on your stripe!

550

[quote]downwardog wrote:
pch2,

A good instructor always carefully selects the partners, especially for older guys, children and girls.

It’s important that live training is properly supervised and best with a black belt instructor.[/quote]

Exactly, where was your teacher? If my Sifu or one of the senior students in my school saw some shit like that going down things would not go well for the offending student.

551

[quote]pch2 wrote:
I started crying in class today.

I ended up rolling with the sandbagger from yesterday. We started with him in mount, and as soon as the buzzer went off he went for the rape choke with all of his weight in the elbow on my sternum.

It pretty much knocked the wind right out of me. Then he transitioned to knee on belly. From there the baseball choke in north south. How to Do the spin choke in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu « Martial Arts :: WonderHowTo

I panicked that visceral girl, there’s a large man on top of me hurting me, panic. I tapped, he asked if I was okay, and I started crying. I couldn’t help it.

I went back to the bathroom and tried to suck it up. But when I went back out he swept me and I started crying again, so I came home.

I feel like a bit of a pussy for starting to cry. A bit disillusioned because I thought I was beginning to not suck. And a little crazy for even doing this. I don’t know, I’m going to do some homework, calm down and then reevaluate.[/quote]

Hi pch2,
First of all congrats on the stripe…you’ve made some major strides. I almost wish I had the guts to roll with the boys…I think I’ll stick to trading kicks and punches.

About the whole crying situation, I’ve been there…I feel your pain. It’s not how hard you fall, but how to pick yourself up and move on from there.

552

[quote]tootles27 wrote:
Crying in front of other people sucks. The best thing you can do is figure out why it bothers you so much and let it go. Trust me when I say it gets worse as you get older and the pattern is harder to break.[/quote]

It bothers me because it’s a sign of weakness, and if you can’t tell, I’m not a huge fan of being weak. I don’t know that not wanting to cry in front of people is something that is a negative pattern.

Also, when I’m really upset, crying upset, I don’t want to talk to anyone. I want to cry and work through it in my head. When you cry in front of people they feel the need to help. It usually results in me ripping their heads off, because when I feel vulnerable I’m really defensive.

Then I feel bad because they were just trying to help. So it’s best to just not let the situation occur.

553

[quote]pch2 wrote:

It bothers me because it’s a sign of weakness, and if you can’t tell, I’m not a huge fan of being weak. I don’t know that not wanting to cry in front of people is something that is a negative pattern.

Also, when I’m really upset, crying upset, I don’t want to talk to anyone. I want to cry and work through it in my head. When you cry in front of people they feel the need to help.

It usually results in me ripping their heads off, because when I feel vulnerable I’m really defensive. Then I feel bad because they were just trying to help. So it’s best to just not let the situation occur. [/quote]

Sorry you dont have testosterone, it would take care of that little problem for you.

When men are upset they can compartmentalize emotion, basically stuff it down, or easily replace it with anger.

I wouldn’t worry about showing weakness, your a girl fighting with boys, if you didn’t have some insecurities and weak moments I would be worried.

If anything guys usually become emotionally attached to girls through their weak moments.

Why do you think all the fairy tales have the prince rescuing the princess ? Its the “White Knight Syndrome”

Men have problems bonding emotionally with women because our emotions are harder to access, basically women have the responsibility of showing the emotional response so that men can identify with it.

Without women, men have problems addressing and experiencing a full range of emotion, we have to learn by example.

If anything Id say your guys now consider themselves “closer” to you than before, its an odd form of bonding.

554

Oh, kid, I think I’m so green sometimes I don’t even know how green I am. I’ve never played a contact sport, I’ve never been in a physical fight, no one’s ever even been really mean to me.

It makes BJJ a big unknown. I have no expectations, but I also have no idea what my limits are. Exceeding non-existent expectations is great. Finding limits, sucks.

Coach is a really good BJJ player and is fantastic at teaching his skills to others. He’s young though, and had not been an instructor for very long. I don’t think he’s ever had a brand new female student that actually goes hard.

He’s had females that go hard, but have previous MA training, so they know what they’re in for. He’s had new females that are just there to play, but I’m new to him. I see such potential in him though, I’m okay with being the learning curve.

[quote]downwardog wrote:
A good instructor always carefully selects the partners, especially for older guys, children and girls.[/quote]

Other than the first class where he put me with Aikido Guy (who had yet to come to a class since I met his gf) he’s never partnered up anyone. We always pick our own. I broke my own, no big white belts rule and suffered for it.

Going at 25% has really enforced this point. Really new kids, just can’t do it. For them it’s on or off. I’m beginning to love it though, I think for a while most of my rolling will be 25%.

We’ve got guys over 40, but I’m the only girl. The majority of guys aren’t smashers, but there are some. There’s no leaving though, so I guess I’m going to have to make it an even less roughneck school.

John didn’t intend to hurt me, he just didn’t take into consideration that he can’t treat me like he treats the guys.

Yeah, I made a stupid choice and now know better for the future.

This makes sense now, at the time, it didn’t. I’m supposed to be invincible, aren’t I?

555

[quote]pch2 wrote:
tootles27 wrote:
Crying in front of other people sucks. The best thing you can do is figure out why it bothers you so much and let it go. Trust me when I say it gets worse as you get older and the pattern is harder to break.

It bothers me because it’s a sign of weakness, and if you can’t tell, I’m not a huge fan of being weak. I don’t know that not wanting to cry in front of people is something that is a negative pattern.

Also, when I’m really upset, crying upset, I don’t want to talk to anyone. I want to cry and work through it in my head. When you cry in front of people they feel the need to help. It usually results in me ripping their heads off, because when I feel vulnerable I’m really defensive.

Then I feel bad because they were just trying to help. So it’s best to just not let the situation occur. [/quote]

I guess what I’m trying to say is you need to let go of the fact that you are not 100% percent strong willed. No one is. Every human is weak in some area of life. Don’t get me wrong, you are still one tough ass pch!! (^:

I hope you feel better soon.

556

[quote]Shire wrote:
downwardog wrote:
pch2,

A good instructor always carefully selects the partners, especially for older guys, children and girls.

It’s important that live training is properly supervised and best with a black belt instructor.

Exactly, where was your teacher? If my Sifu or one of the senior students in my school saw some shit like that going down things would not go well for the offending student.[/quote]

Austin, learning more self defense and working on his own game. We don’t have a black belt. I don’t even think there’s a black belt in the area.

It was a weird night overall. The class was small, none of the regulars I’m used to were there, and I didn’t really know the guy that was teaching. Also, there wasn’t much shit to watch going down, the whole thing took about 30 seconds.

He started in mount. I should have paid attention to that fact that he actually sat on me with all of his weight while we waited to start. I need to pay more attention to my instincts.

557

[quote]skyel7 wrote:
Hi pch2,
First of all congrats on the stripe…you’ve made some major strides. I almost wish I had the guts to roll with the boys…I think I’ll stick to trading kicks and punches.[/quote]

I don’t see how rolling is harder than trading kicks and punches. I think getting hit takes more guts. Today in class he asked if anyone had never been punched, I’m the only one that raised my hand.

You know I’m always surprised when people call me tough, I’m not tough, I fall apart all the time. It recently dawned on me thought that tough is the putting yourself back together part.

558

The gossip circle reached coach last night in Austin and he called to ask what happened and if I was okay. Apparently all the guys assume my rib got tweaked, and I’m going to let them keep that assumption. I told him what had actually happened, and he pretty much had the same response you guys did.

I went to class today, coach is back. I worked with Clark, I’m really comfortable with him, and I told him I didn’t want to be crushed. He got it. We warmed up going 25%. Then, we did some vale tudo, what to do if you’re on your back and he’s trying to punch you stuff.

I didn’t roll, but just drilled after class. I freaked out when John was mounted on me, so I drilled different mount escapes. I did the Hickson escape that DD’s coach showed us, and a sweep. I took it easy and it was a nice comfortable class.

559

[quote]pch2 wrote:

He started in mount. I should have paid attention to that fact that he actually sat on me with all of his weight while we waited to start. I need to pay more attention to my instincts.[/quote]

Oh please pch2, I mean the guy is 200+ lbs and he starts in MOUNT? wtf were you guys thinking?

560

I must say, you ARE a wild little scrambler but I think you bit off a little more than you could chew…as it were.