Overheard in the Hood'

Conversation between a hefty girl and apparently gay man:

Hefty girl: “No girl, that’s exactly what I gave meat up for.”

(I become slightly afraid because I didn’t know what “meat” was being referenced so the fear of visual imagery was rising.)

Apparent gay guy: “Girl bye, you ain’t e’en lost a, count it, single pound since you went herbivere. Matter fact you mighta gained girl, you best stop the nonsense.”

*to myself, “did dude just say herbivere?”

Hefty girl: “NO NO, meat makes you fat.” (Girl takes very large bite out of a very large cupcake and has 2 more in front of her next to, of course an empty salad bowl.) “That’s why I went vegan.”

*I looked closely at her plastic bowl…I noticed cheese…I gave up hope for intelligence on the planet lol.

Wait…so now there are fat vegans and gay men in the Hood?

When the fuck did this happen?

It was a slow progression, but nevertheless the height of the century has brought many of the “homo-thug” as well as the “fat chick that watches too many celebrity personalities/actor diet shows/trainers and suddenly has a Ph.D in all things physiological and biomechanic.”

[quote]NinjaLEO wrote:
It was a slow progression, but nevertheless the height of the century has brought many of the “homo-thug” as well as the “fat chick that watches too many celebrity personalities/actor diet shows/trainers and suddenly has a Ph.D in all things physiological and biomechanic.”[/quote]

Awesome.

Oh, and one of my favorite overheard moments:

One guy: “Man, my nigga, Planet Fitness ain’t like the rest of these commercial gyms, they ain’t even commercial with there’s, ya dig? They that shit bruh.”

The other guy: “Word? For real? How long you been working out there?”

One guy: “Oh nah, I don’t work out there, that’s jus’ my exper’ence.”

[quote]Cuban32 wrote:
Conversation with another hood rat at the gym, I blatantly make fun of him to his face, but he does not get it. For the record i have grown up, and spent a significant amount of time in rough areas in Chicago. I just dont let the music i listen to affect the style of dress i wear or my speech.

Hood Rat: “Maaaaaaaaan, you see ole girl on the eliptical, girl is thick”

Me: “No, shes fat”

Hood Rat: “You jus like dose skinny white girls”

Me: “No, she is just TOO thick”

Hood Rat: “You a coconut JO!”

Coconut= brown on the outside, white on the inside.

GHETTO DUDE FROM MY PREVIOUS POST COMES UP TO ME TO COMMENT ON THE SAME JOKE, I FIGUREED I WOULD HAVE FUN WITH THIS ONE.

Hood Rat: “Yo sup my ni**a, you see shawty on the eleptical, damn”

Me: “Yeah i dont know if i should back that thang up or push up on it”

Hood Rat: blank stare, smiles, walks away one on the scoreboard for Cuban.[/quote]
I don’t get it.

[quote]NinjaLEO wrote:
Oh, and one of my favorite overheard moments:

One guy: “Man, my nigga, Planet Fitness ain’t like the rest of these commercial gyms, they ain’t even commercial with there’s, ya dig? They that shit bruh.”

The other guy: “Word? For real? How long you been working out there?”

One guy: “Oh nah, I don’t work out there, that’s jus’ my exper’ence.”[/quote]

Huh? Can someone translate that to english?

[quote]kevinm1 wrote:

[quote]NinjaLEO wrote:
Oh, and one of my favorite overheard moments:

One guy: “My chap, Planet Fitness isn’t like the rest of these commercial gyms, they don’t even have commercials. They are the cat’s pajamas my dear friend.”

The other guy: “What’s that you say? Can this be true? how long you been a patron of theirs?”

One guy: “Sorry old fellow, but you must have misunderstood. I’ve apparently misled you to believe that I actually patronize the establishment. However, I’m afraid I do not. However, I have it on good authority that my information is indeed correct.”[/quote]

Huh? Can someone translate that to english?[/quote]

DONE

I speak fluent Hoodspeak. I’ve had several job offers from the United Nations to be a Hoodspeak to English translator.

^^LMFAO

^^ LOL

[quote]TheBodyGuard wrote:

[quote]kevinm1 wrote:

[quote]NinjaLEO wrote:
Oh, and one of my favorite overheard moments:

One guy: “My chap, Planet Fitness isn’t like the rest of these commercial gyms, they don’t even have commercials. They are the cat’s pajamas my dear friend.”

The other guy: “What’s that you say? Can this be true? how long you been a patron of theirs?”

One guy: “Sorry old fellow, but you must have misunderstood. I’ve apparently misled you to believe that I actually patronize the establishment. However, I’m afraid I do not. However, I have it on good authority that my information is indeed correct.”[/quote]

Huh? Can someone translate that to english?[/quote]

DONE

I speak fluent Hoodspeak. I’ve had several job offers from the United Nations to be a Hoodspeak to English translator.
[/quote]

As well you should for that superb work you demonstrated.

Well played, BG!