[quote]MaximusE wrote:
OR maybe he likes you SO much that he doesn’t want you to see his small penis? Food for thought.[/quote]
While not agreeing with EXACTLY that, perhaps coming on strong put too much pressure on him. If his self esteem and confidence isn’t through the roof, it could be nerve wracking for him to carry out his “business.” In turn, him knowing he might not perform well due to pressure might cause him to just blow you off. And not in the good way.
[quote]MaximusE wrote:
I gess that answers my question about “what happened with the gym boy”.
I don’t know what you’re talking about with “coming on to strong”. There’s one simple truth to men: We’re pigs. The only thing I see that you did wrong was give him the power. You can get ANY MAN on this planet no matter how rich, famouse, or ripped, however, the more rich, famous, and/or ripped they are the more seductive you have to get because the more competition you have.
This man you have has options which means if you wanted him to fuck you first (this seems like the kind of fella that would put his willy in a pencil sharpner if it had a skirt on) all you had to do what give yourself the power.
How do you do this? Simple - Make him tell you what he wants to do to you. Make him your bitch lol. Make him be the guy that’s chasing you not the other way around. It’s easy for women because anyone with a dick between their legs are fucking idiots. Just turn on that seductive charm girls all seem to have. If you don’t have any - find some.
There’s one simple truth to humans: We’re like chickens. The second chickens see another chicken bleed they will attack and kill that chicken. The second humans see weakness in another person they will rip out your fucking heart and watch you bleed? Dramatic? Maybe, but that doesn’t make it any less true. The next time you hit on a boy there are only 2 things you need to remember: 1)Be seductive and 2)Don’t show Weakness.
OR maybe he likes you SO much that he doesn’t want you to see his small penis? Food for thought.[/quote]
Wow, this was very helpful/interesting. SO WHAT NOW?! Should I pretend like I don’t give two craps about him or something? I am not good at being seductive, Lol. Especially at the gym when I’m all like red/sweaty etc…
WHy does this have to be so complicated all the time. It should just be like girl sees boy, girl asks boy for sex, boy says yes.
@ DaveForner - Don’t rreat this guy like he’s some wilted flower that needs nurturing and caring for. Anything with a penis, and now-a-days abs, has self-esteem.
@Spcok - Ignore him. Two things can come out of this - 1) He’ll think you’re being a bitch and will never talk to you again or 2) this is going to make him think about you A LOT. Nothing says “Mind Fuck” to men like knowing they can’t have something. It’s the forbidden fruit on the tree that people say “don’t eat that!” so what do you do? You want it even more. All you have to do is let him know that he can’t have you and that will either make him give up, which he probably won’t because he’s a boy who I assume life goal consists of getting laid and drunk, or make him want you that much more. How do I know this? Because I’m a man and I’m a pig lol. This is actually how I got my first girlfriend. She was being incredibly bitchy to me and I just said, “know what? I’ve been trying to get you to like me for some time now and I get treated like a whipped dog because of it - screw off” and started to ignore her. Forbidden fruit is just that much more attractive. If she didn’t do anything after that then I would have had the simple pleasure of not being with some one who clearly was not worthy of my time.
The way I see it it’s a win-win.
Well I guess I can give it a shot. But what am I supposed to do when he comes over to me for our daily chit-chatting? I can’t just be like “MMKAY go away cause I am trying to seduce you by ignoring you” LOL.
THis all sounds very stressful, I must admit.
I really just do not think I have an ounce of bitch in me. I just like boys so much they are so fun and stuff and being bitchy to them seems terribly rude. I AM GOING BACK UNDER MY ROCK. Zipping up my hermet bubble. SAFE PLACE!!
[quote]MaximusE wrote:
@ DaveForner - Don’t rreat this guy like he’s some wilted flower that needs nurturing and caring for. Anything with a penis, and now-a-days abs, has self-esteem.
[/quote]
Someone is fucking confident. I know I’m not ridiculously confident despite having quite a bit of success in my still short life. Other people can definitely be the same. Lots of people can have a false bravado, but real confidence is quite different.
[quote]DaveForner wrote:
[quote]MaximusE wrote:
@ DaveForner - Don’t rreat this guy like he’s some wilted flower that needs nurturing and caring for. Anything with a penis, and now-a-days abs, has self-esteem.
[/quote]
Someone is fucking confident. I know I’m not ridiculously confident despite having quite a bit of success in my still short life. Other people can definitely be the same. Lots of people can have a false bravado, but real confidence is quite different. [/quote]
This is true.
[quote]Spock81 wrote:
Well I guess I can give it a shot. But what am I supposed to do when he comes over to me for our daily chit-chatting? I can’t just be like “MMKAY go away cause I am trying to seduce you by ignoring you” LOL.
THis all sounds very stressful, I must admit.
I really just do not think I have an ounce of bitch in me. I just like boys so much they are so fun and stuff and being bitchy to them seems terribly rude. I AM GOING BACK UNDER MY ROCK. Zipping up my hermet bubble. SAFE PLACE!![/quote]
Let me try to expunge any beliefs you have in this “but I don’t wanna be bitchy” is bad thing.
First of all you can’t be an ass hole about ignoring him. You can’t flip him the finger when he’s trying to talk to you and say “fuck off, bozo”. That’s not seductive lol. You have to be polite about it like “I’m working here, can yuh give me a minute?” (or I don’t know - you seem to be full of kindness and unicorns you should have the polite thing down) and then go to the shower and leave the gym with out talking to him. After awhile I imagine he’s going to try and talk to you on face book. Don’t COMPLETELY ignore him, rather you should do that 8-minute delay thing where you wait for awhile before you message him back. If he’s willing to put up with that shit I bet he wants you bad lol.
You’re not being a bitch you’re being a human. If I may recite something Rock has said, “Now I don’t have to tell you that this world isn’t full of rainbows and sunshine. It’s a mean and nasty place and it will beat you to your knees and keep you there if you let it”. I believe sometime back in your blog you said something like “He talked to that skinny bay watch bitch for 45 minutes!” or something along those lines. You see, there are no “evil people” in this world. There’s just people. What makes that skinny girl a bitch and evil in your perception? She’s trying to get what you want. That’s what makes “good and evil” in this world - conflicting interests. Now I bet that skinny bitch over there that was talking to the guy you want is willing to do anything to get with him; why aren’t you? Is she that much better than you? Does she “deserve” him more? People don’t deserve anything, Spock. The only thing you deserve in life is what you earn.
What I’m getting at is that you aren’t a bitch because you’re doing what it takes to get what you want. Why are you telling yourself these things? You say you’re crazy and that you won’t ever get laid…Why? I imagine it’s armor to protect yourself from hurt because you need to think something is wrong with you whether it be you’re too polite or too crazy and that’s why you don’t get the guys you want. You’re not abnormal, Spock. Quite the opposite. You’re about as normal as normal can get because everyone is neurotic and everyone is a bit crazy. So if that skinny bitch is just as neurotic and crazy as you are and everyone else is why is she getting attention and you aren’t? You’re sabotaging yourself. You don’t respect yourself because you say “you’re crazy” or “I’m to nice”. If you don’t respect yourself why would he? The girls you’re competing against like the one he watched star wars with may not respect themselves either (most girls have some type of self-esteem problem), but they may more than you. That’s the difference between getting success and failure - you don’t have to be the best you just have to be better than everyone else lol. Fake it til you make it.
Spock, I’m going to tell you something that I haven’t seen anyone else tell you - the truth (though I haven’t read everyone’s response over this 39 page blog so I’m just assuming). If you aren’t willing to be “bitchy” and aggressive about what you want then you simply won’t get it. It’s a cold world we live in and despite the fact that “survival of the fittest” no longer applies to burning and pillaging villages with your neanderthal friends it will always apply in competitions like this where it’s you vs. another person because people will always be people. You aren’t losing right now because you’re “crazy” or “too nice”, but rather just because you don’t want it bad enough. It isn’t his self-esteem that’s preventing you from a lucky night.
P.S. - At the end of this that man has the chance to have sex with you, so why are you not willing to do what it takes? Because people may think you’re “bitchy”? “Bitchy” is a term losers say when they’re upset that they lost. Go win, Spock.
P.P.S. - I hope you don’t hate me because of what I said. I treat people the way I want to be treated and I hope that through out my time I spend on T-Nation I won’t have “yes men” that tell me that I’m perfect and I’m awesome. I hope people call me on my weaknesses too. Only after being called on it can we do something to fix it.
Strongly disagree with MaximusE. He’s basically teaching you to play games and be a bitch, which you’re not, and which most guys HATE, even if it does often work. You just need to learn to be confident in yourself (I realize not as easy as it sounds), you’re a super cool broad, if he just doesn’t get it, his loss. Lots of people have gotten what they want without being assholes about it. Sometimes “Bitchy” isn’t a term people use because they lost, it’s a term they use because someone’s being a bitch.
Also, no offense (really, it’s a good thing), but from what I’ve seen, if you try the bitchy thing you’re going to be terrible at it. Although realistically I don’t know you very well at all I’ve just read your log for a couple weeks.
[quote]Gmoore17 wrote:
Strongly disagree with MaximusE. He’s basically teaching you to play games and be a bitch, which you’re not, and which most guys HATE, even if it does often work. You just need to learn to be confident in yourself (I realize not as easy as it sounds), you’re a super cool broad, if he just doesn’t get it, his loss. Lots of people have gotten what they want without being assholes about it. Sometimes “Bitchy” isn’t a term people use because they lost, it’s a term they use because someone’s being a bitch.
Also, no offense (really, it’s a good thing), but from what I’ve seen, if you try the bitchy thing you’re going to be terrible at it. Although realistically I don’t know you very well at all I’ve just read your log for a couple weeks.[/quote]
I’m not teaching her to be a bitch/play tricks. I’m telling her to stop looking down on herself and go get what she wants.
This is EXACTLY what I’m talking about. This “you gave it your all - better luck next time” bull. It’s a defeatist attitude losers are spoon fed to make them feel better. I’m saying go be a winner, not “better luck next time”.
That’s what you got out of my post? You thought I was telling her to go be a bitch? Lol - nice.
[quote]Spock81 wrote:
I am from Edmonton BTW. WHere abouts in BC are you?? BANFF?!!![/quote]
Banff is in Alberta Spock.
[quote]MaximusE wrote:
[quote]Gmoore17 wrote:
Strongly disagree with MaximusE. He’s basically teaching you to play games and be a bitch, which you’re not, and which most guys HATE, even if it does often work. You just need to learn to be confident in yourself (I realize not as easy as it sounds), you’re a super cool broad, if he just doesn’t get it, his loss. Lots of people have gotten what they want without being assholes about it. Sometimes “Bitchy” isn’t a term people use because they lost, it’s a term they use because someone’s being a bitch.
Also, no offense (really, it’s a good thing), but from what I’ve seen, if you try the bitchy thing you’re going to be terrible at it. Although realistically I don’t know you very well at all I’ve just read your log for a couple weeks.[/quote]
I’m not teaching her to be a bitch/play tricks. I’m telling her to stop looking down on herself and go get what she wants.
This is EXACTLY what I’m talking about. This “you gave it your all - better luck next time” bull. It’s a defeatist attitude losers are spoon fed to make them feel better. I’m saying go be a winner, not “better luck next time”.
That’s what you got out of my post? You thought I was telling her to go be a bitch? Lol - nice.[/quote]
LOL it was a long post, and there was some good stuff in there, but it’s mostly this stuff that bothered me:
[quote] MaximusE wrote:
P.S. - At the end of this that man has the chance to have sex with you, so why are you not willing to do what it takes? Because people may think you’re “bitchy”? “Bitchy” is a term losers say when they’re upset that they lost. Go win, Spock.
[/quote]
Sounds a lot like telling her to play games and that being bitchy is okay. Gave off too much of a high school drama vibe to me, I dunno.
Whoa. New kid on the block throwing down the walls of text. Jeebus. If I may I’ll just jump in at the end . . .
[quote]MaximusE wrote:
Really? Deliberately ignoring someone in order to fuck with their emotions and elicit the response you want isn’t playing tricks or games?
[quote]MaximusE wrote:
2) This is EXACTLY what I’m talking about. This “you gave it your all - better luck next time” bull. It’s a defeatist attitude losers are spoon fed to make them feel better. I’m saying go be a winner, not “better luck next time”.[/quote]
There’s a huge difference between “you gave it your all - better luck next time” and “you gave it your all but you came up short, what do you need to change to do better next time?” whilst realizing that you’re not going to win every single time, and sometimes you’ve got to give something of yourself up if you’re going to win. Not sure I phrased this how I wanted but I’m guessing I’ll be coming back to it later.
[quote]MaximusE wrote:
3) That’s what you got out of my post? You thought I was telling her to go be a bitch? Lol - nice.[/quote]
That’s kinda what it sounded like to me too.
I think there were a few really good points in that rant of yours but it seemed to be mixed up in some shit, in my opinion.
[quote]Gmoore17 wrote:
Sounds a lot like telling her to play games and that being bitchy is okay. Gave off too much of a high school drama vibe to me, I dunno.
[/quote]
I got the same vibe, and I hate that shit. I work in a bar, where it seems everyone who works there (except some of the door guys who have regular day jobs) is the person that thought they were awesome in high school but never really got past that. Really starting to drive me up the wall. I need a new job like Spock needs to get laid.
This is just me continuing to bomb this thread with posts so we can all see what Spock has in mind for her next log title. It’s also so I can say it’s almost getting to the point in here that you forget there’s supposed to be lifting in this log as well haha.
Conflicted girl is conflicted :S
First off, thank you everyone for your advice and input. I am clearly clueless when it comes to the issues concerning men/dating/relationships/sex/etc/etc…
So I appreciate all the help I can get.
HONESTLY< we/I have no idea what happened, and why he changed his mind. Maybe he chickened out, maybe I said the wrong thing, maybe he found someone else, maybe he just lost interest. Maybe the fact that I have a kid freaked him out, that happens often I’m sure.
Some guys seem to think that me being a single mother automatically means I am looking for a baby daddy. SOooOOO THE OPPOSITE. My kid often tells me I never need a husband or a boyfriend because he will take out the trash for me and take me on Dates, Lol. YA he’s the perfect companion. I don’t need more than that, BUT FUCKEN HELL, vibrating myself day in day out gets extremely lonely. For reals.
If I don’t know exactly WHY he backed down then how on earth can I make a decision about what to do about it?!
All I know is that it’s not really progressing in a positive way and it gets sorta tiring getting my hopes up all the time. Like Omg soo xxxcited TO GO to gym and see boy and uhh… oh…uh so nothing happened?
Do I even want a guy that I need to sorta play mind games with in order to get him to boink me? Or do I want a guy that just outright wants to boink me cause he thinks powerlifting chicks are hot and like giant booty’s. HmmM. Second option seems far less stressful.
Sexual desire should be about nothing other than liking a person/wanting to do a person. Complicated shit iS COMPLICATED. I hate complicated.
ANYWAY I DUNNO I AM babbling!! I need more chores to do toady…
This log is highly entertaining. For so many reasons.
Interspersed with some real talented lifting.
[quote]TheJonty wrote:
[quote]Spock81 wrote:
I am from Edmonton BTW. WHere abouts in BC are you?? BANFF?!!![/quote]
Banff is in Alberta Spock.[/quote]
LOL HAHAHAHA I MADE THIS mistake in class one day too!! FAWK I thought that was just jasper…
YOHO THEN. YOHO National park!!!
^^ Game-playing isn’t always needed. In my case, when I first started seeing my current gf, I was dating another girl who was super flaky and was the definition of a “challenge”. It was a stark contrast to my now-gf, who was easy to chill with, extremely straightforward and never played games. I got sick of the games quickly and have been happy with my choice ever since.
A lot of people respond to a challenge but not everyone. I was single and dating for basically all of my 27.5 years of life before I found someone who sees things the same way I do. I got sick of the games, but now that I found someone so similar to me, I can say definitively that it was worth the wait.
Also, what the hell is wrong with canadian men. You should have dudes lining up left and right to tap that.
[quote]TheJonty wrote:
Whoa. New kid on the block throwing down the walls of text. Jeebus. If I may I’ll just jump in at the end . . .
[quote]MaximusE wrote:
Really? Deliberately ignoring someone in order to fuck with their emotions and elicit the response you want isn’t playing tricks or games?
[quote]MaximusE wrote:
2) This is EXACTLY what I’m talking about. This “you gave it your all - better luck next time” bull. It’s a defeatist attitude losers are spoon fed to make them feel better. I’m saying go be a winner, not “better luck next time”.[/quote]
There’s a huge difference between “you gave it your all - better luck next time” and “you gave it your all but you came up short, what do you need to change to do better next time?” whilst realizing that you’re not going to win every single time, and sometimes you’ve got to give something of yourself up if you’re going to win. Not sure I phrased this how I wanted but I’m guessing I’ll be coming back to it later.
[quote]MaximusE wrote:
3) That’s what you got out of my post? You thought I was telling her to go be a bitch? Lol - nice.[/quote]
That’s kinda what it sounded like to me too.
I think there were a few really good points in that rant of yours but it seemed to be mixed up in some shit, in my opinion.[/quote]
First of all, spare me the noble routine. If I may quote G, “…even if it does often work”. Spock said that she never really had anyone ask her out before. Only when things are taken away from us can we truly see what we’ve missed. Songs have been written about that concept. If a girl stops talking to you, or in this case Spock and Gym Boy, then the boy will either miss her conversation and come after her or he won’t. Either way she will know what he’s about.
Have you ever watched “The Game of Thrones”? Tyrion Lannister was captured and tried for a crime he did not commit. He asked for a trial by combat. When a man volunteers to fight the champion of Vale, who was suited up with a shield and plate armor, the man who was defending Tyrion did every dirty trick in the book and killed the knight of Vale. When the match was over the queen said, “You did not fight honorable” to which the nameless man said, “No, but he did”.
Second, she tried the upfront thing and got shot down. Granted, she did it a bit hastily, however, the situation can still be salvaged. You think I’m telling her to be a bitch? I’m telling her to do what it takes to get what she wants. The quickest way to an early grave is to be an honorable man in un-honorable times.
Finally, “There’s a huge difference between “you gave it your all - better luck next time” and “you gave it your all but you came up short, what do you need to change to do better next time?” whilst realizing that you’re not going to win every single time” - How has that philosophy worked out for you? The losses add up. I know I’ve had that philosphy and that’s why I’m where I am today. Losing, especially when you can still win, is preferred to people today because the idea of “better luck next time” is a lot better than laying it all out on the line. Wars are made of battles, are they not?
So the fuck what if she plays with his emotions? Is he not playing with hers? What if this leads to the man realizing how special she actually is and they start dating? She said awhile back that she had never dated before. If the outcome justifies the means then who cares?
You people seem to classify it as “being bitchy” or I’m persuading her to be “bitchy”. My whole point of writing about that was to say there is no such thing as being “bitchy”. Just being a winner or a loser.
[quote]Spock81 wrote:
Do I even want a guy that I need to sorta play mind games with in order to get him to boink me? Or do I want a guy that just outright wants to boink me cause he thinks powerlifting chicks are hot and like giant booty’s. HmmM. Second option seems far less stressful.
Sexual desire should be about nothing other than liking a person/wanting to do a person. [/quote]
YES