About 90% of my friends are now in college and say it’s great and a good way of getting lots of friends, I however didnt go…kinda regret that every now and again but hey still only 19 eh
I do not know, maybe because I did not grow up in the city that I realized that my friends are usually ones that live around me and have the same interests. Happen to be my enemies are close too and have the opposite interests, not that I have enemies.
I do not have to go to a bar or whatever to make friends. I usually make friends by being friendly and going next door and inviting them over for some beers or getting something to eat together.
Although I did make some great friends by going to a smoking lounge to buy some cigars one day and then it turned into smoking there and then it turned into Friday Poker nights and Saturday Football.
One last thought on being friends with people, I noticed when I visited New York, that the people up there were pretty damn unfriendly. Always seemed like they were in a rush, and never said “hi.”
I do not really have a fix for that, except to say it must be their society. I know down here I can not go past a car without getting waved at, which is really nice. Just try meeting your neighbors and offering an invitation to your place anytime and offer help whenever they may need it.
Also, about work…really the people you work with are that unfriendly that you can not make friends with them? I do not know if I could work in that situation, well I do not think I can work in an office really being on a fixed salary. Never made sense to me, I would rather work for myself and pay myself first, etc.
- Buster.
Damn I’m just like the OP.
Just graduated, just started at an engineering firm in May. Meeting people sucks.
There are about 5 coworkers I do things with but drinking is involved at all times. How am I supposed to get jacked?
I did join softball, still drinking involved though.
Went to meetup.com and joined a flag football deal, start Sunday morning.
Meeting people is a bitch, meeting people who want to have your kind of lifestyle is impossible. Meeting GIRLS worth a damn, fugettaboutit.
[quote]crod266 wrote:
B rocK wrote:
it also seems that (at least with my family and having an older sibling) as your number of friends dwindles, we tend to get closer to our roots (family).
my sibling doesn’t haev too many friends b/c they are all starting families as well as my sibling.
its funny how you spend so much time trying to push away from the second you leave the womb; that now it all comes back around full circle.
i have always been close to my family; but wanted independence but here i am…i moved back to MA (from NY) and see my family over hanging with friends.
weird.
my friends are more fun though haha.
thats a good point man, thats why it good to have alot of sibilings because i have 3 and that that eventaully will grow into a large family yano hah
[/quote]
Here’s a question for you, do you think that having a big family / siblings makes you better in social situations, i.e. making friends?
I’m an only child, only one of my generation in my family (unless you count 5th cousin twice removed living on another continent, or something like that) and I have a few close friends, but I tend to find myself very socially awkward, and I’ve always wondered if it’s because I’ve never had family members my own age who I’ve grown up interacting with.
[quote]Roual wrote:
Here’s a question for you, do you think that having a big family / siblings makes you better in social situations, i.e. making friends?
I’m an only child, only one of my generation in my family (unless you count 5th cousin twice removed living on another continent, or something like that) and I have a few close friends, but I tend to find myself very socially awkward, and I’ve always wondered if it’s because I’ve never had family members my own age who I’ve grown up interacting with.[/quote]
I have two brothers but they’re both so much older than me that they moved out when I was still a little kid. They live in other cities and they feel more like unfamiliar uncles than brothers.
No cousins either.
I too am socially awkward or maybe I wouldn’t be if I didn’t worry about about it so much.
[quote]Beowolf wrote:
I feel for you. I’m having trouble making friends IN college, let along after.
I have plenty of acquaintances, but I feel like everyone else is forming real friendships while I just “know people”.
It blows. Worst part: All of my “friends” aren’t even in my building.
/whine[/quote]
Do you go to a large or small school? I had a similar situation as you when I was in college. Freshman year I didn’t really do much, and I quit drinking so I didn’t even go out much on the weekend. Once the weather got nice though in the spring I just started going out and walking around on my own.
If you have free time, walk around campus and chat with people. It’s a blast, and it will definitely help you out socially. I had some close friends, but freshman and sophomore year I spent a lot of time cruising around alone and going to parties and meeting people. It was a lot of fun. It helped that I went to Alfred University, which is tiny.
I can definitely relate to the OP.
Moved from NY to Atlanta after college… difference is that in college, I was always surrounded by so many people that making friends just happened by osmosis… it didn’t take much effort. After college, the number of people I interact with dropped suddenly - to the few people at work, one or two family members in the area, and social interaction with strangers. It’s up to me to put forth the effort and meet new people.
The thing is, I’ve gotten pretty complacent about not having friends. I train like an animal at a small gym where I have the place to myself (except for the owner) whenever I go (off-peak hours). I go to work and do my thing there, get along with the people there but have nothing in common with them. So my life is pretty much work, training, playing music (drums, usually by myself), TV, etc. I feel like I kind of live in my own world sometimes.
The problem is how to go about meeting people. Not a very bubbly/extroverted person, and like lots of other posters mentioned, I make all my own (healthy) food and don’t drink alcohol, so the whole bar thing is unattractive to me.
Sometimes it freaks me out that I don’t care. No matter, there will be plenty of good gym sessions to prevent me from losing my mind… or rather, to allow me to lose it, under controlled circumstances.
[quote]Beowolf wrote:
I feel for you. I’m having trouble making friends IN college, let along after.
I have plenty of acquaintances, but I feel like everyone else is forming real friendships while I just “know people”.
It blows. Worst part: All of my “friends” aren’t even in my building.
/whine[/quote]
same position it annoys the fucking hell out of me, i mean is there something wrong with me? I even went to the campus gym too see if there are any like minded people, none. Only friends I’ve got are ones from high school, If i havent known you longer than 5 years i dont know you, I’m happy too meet new people but after that it generally just leads to just saying whats up in the hall way, which annoys me
[quote]jtg987 wrote:
I feel for you. I’m having trouble making friends IN college, let along after.
I have plenty of acquaintances, but I feel like everyone else is forming real friendships while I just “know people”.
It blows. Worst part: All of my “friends” aren’t even in my building.
/whine
same position it annoys the fucking hell out of me, i mean is there something wrong with me? I even went to the campus gym too see if there are any like minded people, none. Only friends I’ve got are ones from high school, If i havent known you longer than 5 years i dont know you, I’m happy too meet new people but after that it generally just leads to just saying whats up in the hall way, which annoys me[/quote]
Have you tried joining a club? A club where you are physically working with others seems to foster friendships faster.
Many Uni’s have a habitat for humanity club - it can be really easy to meet people there, since you usually chat with someone all day. Then, they’re more inclined to go to a pub with you after the day ends, since they’re tired and don’t wanna cook and they’ve already chatted with you all day.
Also, outdoor clubs where you go on camping or multi-day hikes (usually friday -sunday) are a good way to get to know people better, since you’re around them without distractions like cell phones and TVs and you get to bum and have fun around a camp fire. So much fun.
Just an idea.
[quote]Renton wrote:
I wouldn’t know. I never had any friends in college and I don’t have any now. :-([/quote]
sending friend request now
[quote]LiftSmart wrote:
Roual wrote:
Here’s a question for you, do you think that having a big family / siblings makes you better in social situations, i.e. making friends?
I’m an only child, only one of my generation in my family (unless you count 5th cousin twice removed living on another continent, or something like that) and I have a few close friends, but I tend to find myself very socially awkward, and I’ve always wondered if it’s because I’ve never had family members my own age who I’ve grown up interacting with.
I have two brothers but they’re both so much older than me that they moved out when I was still a little kid. They live in other cities and they feel more like unfamiliar uncles than brothers.
No cousins either.
I too am socially awkward or maybe I wouldn’t be if I didn’t worry about about it so much.[/quote]
Now what do you mean scially akward you mean like when you meet someone new you feel akward kinda thing? An if thats what you getting at umm i dont eally think it does anything but people might think diff but if you have a big family than you have a brother to hangout with when your older plus your sisters might get married to a kool guy kinda thing so its stuff like that that i was talking about
[quote]crod266 wrote:
LiftSmart wrote:
Roual wrote:
Here’s a question for you, do you think that having a big family / siblings makes you better in social situations, i.e. making friends?
I’m an only child, only one of my generation in my family (unless you count 5th cousin twice removed living on another continent, or something like that) and I have a few close friends, but I tend to find myself very socially awkward, and I’ve always wondered if it’s because I’ve never had family members my own age who I’ve grown up interacting with.
I have two brothers but they’re both so much older than me that they moved out when I was still a little kid. They live in other cities and they feel more like unfamiliar uncles than brothers.
No cousins either.
I too am socially awkward or maybe I wouldn’t be if I didn’t worry about about it so much.
Now what do you mean scially akward you mean like when you meet someone new you feel akward kinda thing? An if thats what you getting at umm i dont eally think it does anything but people might think diff but if you have a big family than you have a brother to hangout with when your older plus your sisters might get married to a kool guy kinda thing so its stuff like that that i was talking about[/quote]
That is one hell of a sentence.
[quote]msd0060 wrote:
crod266 wrote:
LiftSmart wrote:
Roual wrote:
Here’s a question for you, do you think that having a big family / siblings makes you better in social situations, i.e. making friends?
I’m an only child, only one of my generation in my family (unless you count 5th cousin twice removed living on another continent, or something like that) and I have a few close friends, but I tend to find myself very socially awkward, and I’ve always wondered if it’s because I’ve never had family members my own age who I’ve grown up interacting with.
I have two brothers but they’re both so much older than me that they moved out when I was still a little kid. They live in other cities and they feel more like unfamiliar uncles than brothers.
No cousins either.
I too am socially awkward or maybe I wouldn’t be if I didn’t worry about about it so much.
Now what do you mean scially akward you mean like when you meet someone new you feel akward kinda thing? An if thats what you getting at umm i dont eally think it does anything but people might think diff but if you have a big family than you have a brother to hangout with when your older plus your sisters might get married to a kool guy kinda thing so its stuff like that that i was talking about
That is one hell of a sentence.
[/quote]
Yep, I’ve gone through it 4 or 5 times, and I still can’t really figure it out.
[quote]Squiggles wrote:
jtg987 wrote:
I feel for you. I’m having trouble making friends IN college, let along after.
I have plenty of acquaintances, but I feel like everyone else is forming real friendships while I just “know people”.
It blows. Worst part: All of my “friends” aren’t even in my building.
/whine
same position it annoys the fucking hell out of me, i mean is there something wrong with me? I even went to the campus gym too see if there are any like minded people, none. Only friends I’ve got are ones from high school, If i havent known you longer than 5 years i dont know you, I’m happy too meet new people but after that it generally just leads to just saying whats up in the hall way, which annoys me
Have you tried joining a club? A club where you are physically working with others seems to foster friendships faster.
Many Uni’s have a habitat for humanity club - it can be really easy to meet people there, since you usually chat with someone all day. Then, they’re more inclined to go to a pub with you after the day ends, since they’re tired and don’t wanna cook and they’ve already chatted with you all day.
Also, outdoor clubs where you go on camping or multi-day hikes (usually friday -sunday) are a good way to get to know people better, since you’re around them without distractions like cell phones and TVs and you get to bum and have fun around a camp fire. So much fun.
Just an idea.
[/quote]
thought about it then realized I dont want to be walking around in the bush for multiple days with people i dont know. I went to the gym during peak hours hoping there might be someone there who looked like the lifted and struck up a convo from there sadly the weights at that gym are pathetic 50 year old machines etc.
plus generally if I’m not at uni and am awake I’m either at work or gym. I work 5 days a week, then have two days of uni a week I don’t really have time too disappear from work for a coupe of days(sad considering I work in retail)
Welcome to the real world.