Shook a contractor’s hand who was laying grass at my house this morning. He wasn’t limp wrist-ed, but didn’t apply any sort of squeeze, so I tried to be light with it. Didn’t bother me at all. I’m sure that dude has been working in yards longer than I’ve been alive and may have some issues with his hands.
Now, I work with electrical engineers and IT mostly, and several of them give the limp deadfish handshake. The annoying part is, they initiate it. That always makes me feel kinda weird.
Matty, you should wear rubber gloves for this experiment.
for such a mundane topic this has been an interesting and entertaining post
My thoughts:
When I was a young kid my grandfather taught me to give a nice firm handshake. He told me stories of how he would judge his daughters’ boyfriends by how their hand shake. Ever since then (I was probably about 10 when he gave me this lesson in shaking hands) I have almost always had a consistent confident handshake.
I do hate it when someone pulls away too quickly and I end up squeezing their fingers … that shit’s wack. I’ve never really thought too much into shaking hands with women differently than my approach with a male hand shake. Sometimes, I’ve noticed lately, when meeting a woman for the first time (mostly my wife’s friends or new acquaintances), if they offer their hand palm down, I accept it but cover the back of her hand with my left hand for a couple seconds as I say my greeting but I don’t linger. All my wife’s friends love me and I have a great friendly relationship. Same goes with my wife’s colleagues and co-workers (she just started a new job so I’m always meeting new people).
To wrap this shit up: Don’t think too much about it … being confident in your handshake and demeanor is something you don’t really think about and just do. Also, I always make sure I have a little bit of from’unda cheese on my palm so I know I always have the upper hand
[quote]jbpick86 wrote:
Shaking a woman’s hand is not that difficult. And if you do it right (depending on whether or not you want to) it can actually peak her curiosity about just how good you are with those hands. I have had 3 separate instances where I was introduced to a girl and shook her hand, only to have her make some remark about how I have “soft hands and a firm grip”. Which then usually leads to conversing about my freakishly soft hands even though I have callouses, a little giving her my hand to feel how soft, talking, back rub, sexy time. All because of a well executed handshake ice breaker.[/quote]
Is this your go-to move? Is there some sort of book I could read more about this? Anything on Jelqueing you need to know feel free to ask in return for you hand-shaking voodoo knowledge.
[quote]polo77j wrote:
All my wife’s friends love me [/quote]
WTF? When did you get married? I thought She Say and I were coming back to the Cape of Cod and we were going to party with your lesbian waitress friends…or am I thinking of polo78j? Can’t you em effers come up with less confusing handles? Breaker one my ass.
And finally…I like to go in for the normal handshake and then pull my hand back and just wave at them.
or…go in for the normal and tickle their palm with my index finger…haven’t got as much pussy as that dood with the soft hands and firm hand shake, eye contact, massagey talkey etc, but I ain’t complainin’ if you know what I mean…huh !?!
Man the security guard made me shake his hand again, I didnt piss on my hand, I actually raised my hand first for the handshake, I think he has some fucking voodoo santeria spell making me shake his limp hand.
^^^
Security guy goes home each day and tells wife
There is this huge engineer that wants to shake hands and I thought I finally him just waving, but no …
[quote]treco wrote:
^^^
Security guy goes home each day and tells wife
There is this huge engineer that wants to shake hands and I thought I finally him just waving, but no …[/quote]
[quote]treco wrote:
^^^
Security guy goes home each day and tells wife
There is this huge engineer that wants to shake hands and I thought I finally him just waving, but no …[/quote]
LOL[/quote]
DOUBLE LOL!
Im fucking fist bumping or chest bumping from now on!
[quote]treco wrote:
^^^
Security guy goes home each day and tells wife
There is this huge engineer that wants to shake hands and I thought I finally him just waving, but no …[/quote]
LOL[/quote]
DOUBLE LOL!
Im fucking fist bumping or chest bumping from now on![/quote]
Why do some people want to turn a hand shake into a game of mercy? I get that sometimes and I fold their hand backwards and crinkle up the bones. Then they want to turn it into an apology with the heart to heart move and pat on the back thing, and I can’t stand personal contact like that with strangers.
So I step back and rotate outward but they insist. Step back again and snap their elbow straight while jamming a thumb into their armpit and sweeping their legs. Once It goes to the ground and I still have their hand it’s so easy to step on their neck. Then they’re all “AHGplptttt…” and won’t quit making all of these noises and spitting everywhere.
Women really need to learn how to shake hands. I don’t do that fo shizzle fizzle crap.
I don’t get this palm down business. I’ve never seen or heard of that! I think if anyone ever did it to me I’d just stand there and stare, open-mouthed.
The hand-keeper…yeah, I get that occasionally. And then you have to decide whether to wrench your hand away. WTF, people, do it right! Firm. Two pumps, then release. Easy!
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
I don’t get this palm down business. I’ve never seen or heard of that! I think if anyone ever did it to me I’d just stand there and stare, open-mouthed.
[/quote]
And then you should kiss it like he were a princess and make him your bitch.
Guys with limp handshakes aren’t necessarily submissive weaklings, the “too cool for school” types who just don’t give a fuck about anything (let alone your stinking hand) also like to do that.
[quote]SkyzykS wrote:
Why do some people want to turn a hand shake into a game of mercy? I get that sometimes and I fold their hand backwards and crinkle up the bones. Then they want to turn it into an apology with the heart to heart move and pat on the back thing, and I can’t stand personal contact like that with strangers.
So I step back and rotate outward but they insist. Step back again and snap their elbow straight while jamming a thumb into their armpit and sweeping their legs. Once It goes to the ground and I still have their hand it’s so easy to step on their neck. Then they’re all “AHGplptttt…” and won’t quit making all of these noises and spitting everywhere.
Women really need to learn how to shake hands. I don’t do that fo shizzle fizzle crap.
[/quote]
Right on man. I hate that shit, but crushing people’s hands is rewarding.
