So apparently some people have told my friend that my handshakes are too firm. Since when was a firm handshake a problem? I’ve always lived by the teaching that a good man extends a good handshake.
I am totally baffled that people would complain about a solid, integrity-filled handshake. What has happened to man? Have a few of us de-evolved?
[quote]Padilla7921 wrote:
So apparently some people have told my friend that my handshakes are too firm. Since when was a firm handshake a problem? I’ve always lived by the teaching that a good man extends a good handshake.
I am totally baffled that people would complain about a solid, integrity-filled handshake. What has happened to man? Have a few of us de-evolved?[/quote]
Some of us have been slowly devolving, some people need scooters to get around now and stuff becasue they are eating themselves to death, etc
Some people do shake hands really hard without realising it. I like a strong handshake, but one of my friend’s fathers always manages to fold my smallest finger under the rest.
Yeah, there is ‘too strong’ in handshakes. Ultimately, you are going to meet a lot of people that don’t give a fuck how strong you are and care even less that you feel the need to demonstrate it, in fact, this will probably be the majority of people you meet in your life. A weak handshake leaves an awful impression it is the worst, I can’t stand it, but an overly strong handshake isn’t much better.
If you really give a fuck about what someone thinks of you on the first impression(and you should, it’s tremendously important) focus more on being respectful, making eye contact and having positive, self-assured body language. Not on the PSI of your handshake. A good handshake is solid, which is not synonymous with STRONG. It’s just solid.
There is a little more to a handshake than alot of people might think! When approaching someone, you have to first size them up to get a good feel if they’re going to challenge your hand shake strength, or if they’re going to yield to your superior manliness. If you’re shaking a womans hand, automatically you assume they are not going to challenge you!
Getting the right handshake contact is also very important. There are some men that will thrust their hand towards yours, but they’ll pull back at the last minute and shake your fingers. This is a cheap move they use to have the firmer grip, because it’s impossible to squeeze them when they’ve got your fingers. You have to be ready for this!
You have to get good contact between the two palms, then it’s a good fair handshake. Usually I give it more strength than I expect them to have at first. But right when they start squeezing back, you have to adjust rapidly so that you’re in control but NOT crushing their hand. Perhaps you are giving a little too much of your strength to the feminine men or women, which is not polite.
It never reflects well when a man has a weak handshake, but it’s equally as bad when someone gives more force than neccessary to be in control. The worst is when they pull back and squeeze your fingers.
Having a good handshake will always directly reflect your personality. Alot of people these days just seem to be satisfied with being a little more feminine. Their handshakes will reflect this, but don’t worry about it. People will always respect strength, confidence, and integrity; therefore, they’ll always respect a good handshake.
To go a little further with that though. If you get two people like the original poster shaking hands, it can quickly become a minor confrontational struggle for dominance that only worsens the impression you leave with that person. Which, if you are trying to get something out of them, is counter productive for your goals. The best handshake ends with both people believing they were dominant.
Which reminds me of a quote, I think is accurate, says (roughly) “Nothing more secures a friendship than the independently held belief that one is better than the other”
I give a firm handshake but I don’t try to hurt they guy. I have large fairly strong hands but I don’t go and try to prove it to guys I meet. It does however look really bad to me when they give a very weak handshake.
[quote]bushidobadboy wrote:
If a guy shakes your hand and then turns his, so that it is on top, palm facing down, …[/quote]
LMAO - I hate that too. It’s the best way to make sure I don’t buy a single thing.
There is IMO a big difference between a firm handshake and a vice like grip handshake.
I am fairly strong with a good grip but I feel no need to exert my male dominance over any other person by squeezing the hell out of their hand. If somebody tries it with me then they actually go down in my opinions.
I prefer to show my worth in my words and actions, rather than to play silly games.
[quote]Padilla7921 wrote:
So apparently some people have told my friend that my handshakes are too firm. Since when was a firm handshake a problem?[/quote]
about the same time as too much estrogen being a problem.
[quote]Renton wrote:
bushidobadboy wrote:
If a guy shakes your hand and then turns his, so that it is on top, palm facing down, …
LMAO - I hate that too. It’s the best way to make sure I don’t buy a single thing.
[/quote]
Are you guys serious about that? I’ve never heard of it.
[quote]FlavaDave wrote:
Renton wrote:
bushidobadboy wrote:
If a guy shakes your hand and then turns his, so that it is on top, palm facing down, …
LMAO - I hate that too. It’s the best way to make sure I don’t buy a single thing.
Are you guys serious about that? I’ve never heard of it.[/quote]
Absolutely - It’s an old trick just like making sure that if you are sitting in a chair opposite your intended customer (especially if there is a desk between you) that your chair is higher than theirs. The desk hides the fact a little more so the effect is more subtle.
Most places that operate this will make sure the customer chairs are a fixed height where the sales peoples chairs are adjustable. It’s not just for comfort!
I get complimented on my handshake all the time. Not too strong but firm, a young lady actually remarked on it last week(I treat the women folk the same as the men). The thing I’ve been noticing though is hand size, many of the men I shake hands with have little hands and they get lost in my palm. I’ve never thought my hands where unually big but like the last 5 guys who have put up their hands to shake made me start to comtemplate it.
i hate it the most when i get caught off guard in a handshake and my fingertips are grabbed or im not able to get “web to web” and let loose a limp shake. this annoys the hell out of me and bothers me for a while because i know hwo important a good shake is. i feel bad tho cuz my hands are always clammy…
Oh no guys, I don’t try to break bones when I shake hands, I just give a firm grip. Apparently people don’t like that. Would they rather I give them a dead fish like they do? Agh, I really hate weak handshakes. It’s a sign of a weak person (and not just physically), imo.
Bushy and Renton, yeah I really hate “establishment of dominance” handshakes, at least the ones that are intended to undermine the other person. The way I see it, a handshake should be a mutual thing, not a tactic to gain an upper hand (no pun intended).
[quote]coolnatedawg wrote:
i hate it the most when i get caught off guard in a handshake and my fingertips are grabbed or im not able to get “web to web” and let loose a limp shake. this annoys the hell out of me and bothers me for a while because i know hwo important a good shake is. i feel bad tho cuz my hands are always clammy…[/quote]
I hate that shit to, go for a hand shake and they almost grab the tips of your fingers.
Next time I shake someones hand its gonna be over a desk where my seat is higher, Im gonna grab the tips of thier fingers so they get a bad grip, and Im gonna make my palm faceing down on theres.
This should make up for all the times I gave shity handshakes.
[quote]kevinm1 wrote:
I get complimented on my handshake all the time. Not too strong but firm, a young lady actually remarked on it last week(I treat the women folk the same as the men). [/quote]
Totally agree. I’ve known too many bone crushers. I just hold my hand out firm and solid but never get in the squeeze match
[quote]kevinm1 wrote:
…(I treat the women folk the same as the men)…[/quote]
Hmmmm - so we’ve heard… 
glad to know i’m not the only one that wants to have a firm handshake, but hates when the other person doesn’t line up their hand and they end up getting your fingers and they just crumble, lol
[quote]Renton wrote:
I am fairly strong with a good grip [/quote]
Thats because all of your hitting on girls efforts go in vain and you’re left wanking it yourself.