Let's Process Our Feelings

Off Topic
901

[quote]red04 wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]red04 wrote:
How has Orion not responded to this yet, anticipation is killing me.[/quote]

To what?

So far Hockey guy has strong provider game, does install kitchens and seems to be respected by his peers.

8/10.

If I read something from Emily like:

Cant … walk… I might have a dislocated hip…dont care… would bang again…

I shall admit that he is a prince among men and can get away with occasional cuddling, even in the beginning. [/quote]

I really thought you would have fun with all the handyman work he seemed to do, especially given the short sidetrack about it in Spock’s thread when PowerPuff talked about that book recently.

Color me disappointed.[/quote]

But “big, brooding handyman who has oil smears on his chiseled sweaty body”, he is not.

He is more like Bob the Builder.

902

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]red04 wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]red04 wrote:
How has Orion not responded to this yet, anticipation is killing me.[/quote]

To what?

So far Hockey guy has strong provider game, does install kitchens and seems to be respected by his peers.

8/10.

If I read something from Emily like:

Cant … walk… I might have a dislocated hip…dont care… would bang again…

I shall admit that he is a prince among men and can get away with occasional cuddling, even in the beginning. [/quote]

I really thought you would have fun with all the handyman work he seemed to do, especially given the short sidetrack about it in Spock’s thread when PowerPuff talked about that book recently.

Color me disappointed.[/quote]

But “big, brooding handyman who has oil smears on his chiseled sweaty body”, he is not.

He is more like Bob the Builder. [/quote]

Not even when we throw in that he’s (even titled as) a hockey player, and does all that camping other people wimp out on in the cold, cold weather?

I’m not trying to be confrontational, I have my learning hat on.

903

[quote]red04 wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]red04 wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]red04 wrote:
How has Orion not responded to this yet, anticipation is killing me.[/quote]

To what?

So far Hockey guy has strong provider game, does install kitchens and seems to be respected by his peers.

8/10.

If I read something from Emily like:

Cant … walk… I might have a dislocated hip…dont care… would bang again…

I shall admit that he is a prince among men and can get away with occasional cuddling, even in the beginning. [/quote]

I really thought you would have fun with all the handyman work he seemed to do, especially given the short sidetrack about it in Spock’s thread when PowerPuff talked about that book recently.

Color me disappointed.[/quote]

But “big, brooding handyman who has oil smears on his chiseled sweaty body”, he is not.

He is more like Bob the Builder. [/quote]

Not even when we throw in that he’s (even titled as) a hockey player, and does all that camping other people wimp out on in the cold, cold weather?

I’m not trying to be confrontational, I have my learning hat on.[/quote]

But those aren’t the main things. They caught my attention because they show traits that are not immediately obvious in a guy who works on research equipment for a living and who has a gentle, formal presentation. I want a man who likes to do things and is as anxious to play and get sweaty as I am. The house thing - yeah, that’s just sexy. Competence in something I have none in. The same way feminine traits and skills are sexy to masculine men. His willingness to sleep in a filthy, empty house rather than his own very nice bed so he can get stuff done to move the renovation project forward for his daughter is even sexier. It’s strength and devotion. It makes me think “big shoulders.”

The winter camping makes me think “weird” more than “manly,” frankly. I mean, I guess it’s manly if by manly we mean something I would never do. What catches my attention is that it’s fun-spirited and goofy for them all to come together for this. He was telling me that at one of these things (fall camping maybe) they shoot, and one of the people built some sort of revolving balloon device, like an arcade shooting game. (I forgot to ask how many guns he has so I can double-triple it.)

Because my own past - and some of my present - is so at odds with the way I appear at first glance, it matters to me that I not get someone who is lacking in edges and oddities. When I told him, way back before we’d kissed, I think, that I was a runaway, etc, his only reaction was “Really? Well, you clean up very nicely.” But I still worried about a mismatch. I worried what would happen if ever I felt the need to announce that I have a motherfucking Hitler mustache on my shin, as I have in the past. But his daughter floated the term “skin flute” on Sunday, so I think I can safely talk about the things I need to.

He makes me laugh, which isn’t that easy to do, as far as I can tell he’s strong physically and emotionally, he’s kind, he’s happy, and I like the way it feels to be close to him. I think he’s having the same experience with me. Both of my hips were dislocated after spending two nights together, but I didn’t mind at all, and will see him tonight.

Who knows, I could be back here in a month or a year, boo-hooing that he’s a jerk or just saying we didn’t jibe, but for now it feels like a really good thing.

904

What is emotional strength Emily? I mean how do you think it’s characterized and observed?

What would be a, “display” of emotional strength?

Please tell me it isn’t putting up with bullshit. I can see being emotionally consistent as a good trait, but is that the same as being emotionally strong? As in able to rebound well against extreme stress, death, heartbreak, etc?

I’m giving myself away here, but having witnessed very stable people break down. While seeing very emotionally all over the place people thrive in certain situations… I obviously have very different experiences. But you are the professional.

905

[quote]Severiano wrote:
What is emotional strength Emily? I mean how do you think it’s characterized and observed?

What would be a, “display” of emotional strength?

Please tell me it isn’t putting up with bullshit. [/quote]

I guess I think of it as moral strength, knowing who you are, liking who you are. It’s the opposite of putting up with bullshit, which is weak. I don’t generally give anyone shit unless there’s an issue (broken promises, hurtful behavior) so I can’t speak to Hockey’s willingness to tolerate it from a woman, but I get the impression that there are good boundaries. He’s being very careful to identify his daughter’s boyfriend as “the boss” because he doesn’t want the project dropped in his lap. THEY are doing it; HE is helping. He’s talked about other things that offer the same indication that he is willing to go so far but no further.

But who knows? It’s early days. He’s still largely a stranger.

906

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]Severiano wrote:
What is emotional strength Emily? I mean how do you think it’s characterized and observed?

What would be a, “display” of emotional strength?

Please tell me it isn’t putting up with bullshit. [/quote]

I guess I think of it as moral strength, knowing who you are, liking who you are. It’s the opposite of putting up with bullshit, which is weak. I don’t generally give anyone shit unless there’s an issue (broken promises, hurtful behavior) so I can’t speak to Hockey’s willingness to tolerate it from a woman, but I get the impression that there are good boundaries. He’s being very careful to identify his daughter’s boyfriend as “the boss” because he doesn’t want the project dropped in his lap. THEY are doing it; HE is helping. He’s talked about other things that offer the same indication that he is willing to go so far but no further.

But who knows? It’s early days. He’s still largely a stranger. [/quote]

Pure awesome!

907

[quote]Severiano wrote:
What is emotional strength Emily? I mean how do you think it’s characterized and observed?

What would be a, “display” of emotional strength?

Please tell me it isn’t putting up with bullshit. I can see being emotionally consistent as a good trait, but is that the same as being emotionally strong? As in able to rebound well against extreme stress, death, heartbreak, etc?

I’m giving myself away here, but having witnessed very stable people break down. While seeing very emotionally all over the place people thrive in certain situations… I obviously have very different experiences. But you are the professional.
[/quote]

You added stuff in that I didn’t address. It’s hard to know what “emotionally consistent” is. Does that mean somewhat unemotional or very controlled? Personally I like to see all of the emotions on display, but appropriately, in the people around me. Appropriate to me means sad, excited, angry, but regulated and controlled for the most part. An extreme event would obviously make the healthy person react in an extreme manner. Say the death of a child or a trauma of some sort.

Some people thrive on drama, so seem to tolerate a great deal of it without breaking stride. That’s not healthy, in my view.

908

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
I worried what would happen if ever I felt the need to announce that I have a motherfucking Hitler mustache on my shin, as I have in the past.
[/quote]

What does that mean? Is it a movie reference or something?

And Congrats. Sounds like you two really click together. I met my wifes family and friends after about a month- at her sisters wedding. She tried prepping and warning me about al of them but there isn’t much more revealing than meeting a persons people in a big wide open setting like that.

909

[quote]SkyzykS wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
I worried what would happen if ever I felt the need to announce that I have a motherfucking Hitler mustache on my shin, as I have in the past.
[/quote]

What does that mean? Is it a movie reference or something?

And Congrats. Sounds like you two really click together. I met my wifes family and friends after about a month- at her sisters wedding. She tried prepping and warning me about al of them but there isn’t much more revealing than meeting a persons people in a big wide open setting like that.
[/quote]

I had a bump on my shin and kept nicking it shaving. I’d think it was healed and then pull the skin off all over again. It went on for weeks until I finally stopped shaving the spot for like three weeks. I shave every day, and I’d just leave a square area. I felt it looked like a Hitler mustache, so I complained far and wide. Possibly I griped about it in here! I was NOT happy about it. Bad words occurred, as they do with me sometimes. There are only a couple of words I won’t use casually (like, I’ll say “cunt” but only at work in the context of saying something like “He called you a cunt because you drank the last Coke?”). So someone who’s too stuffy and proper isn’t for me. I mean, I hang out with orion and the rest of you! And I want to be able to say so without being viewed poorly for it. The smart guy I went out with could never have handled the real me. He’d already started trying to change me. And I think I’m fine the way I am. (Now that the shin 'stache situation has resolved.)

I like what seems to be a similarly varied nature in Hockey. But we’ll see!

910

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[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
I had a bump on my shin and kept nicking it shaving. I’d think it was healed and then pull the skin off all over again.[/quote]
Reminds me of the permanent deadlift scarring on my shins. Just as soon as it is about to heal it’s time to pull again.

911

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]SkyzykS wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
I worried what would happen if ever I felt the need to announce that I have a motherfucking Hitler mustache on my shin, as I have in the past.
[/quote]

What does that mean? Is it a movie reference or something?

And Congrats. Sounds like you two really click together. I met my wifes family and friends after about a month- at her sisters wedding. She tried prepping and warning me about al of them but there isn’t much more revealing than meeting a persons people in a big wide open setting like that.
[/quote]

I had a bump on my shin and kept nicking it shaving. I’d think it was healed and then pull the skin off all over again. It went on for weeks until I finally stopped shaving the spot for like three weeks. I shave every day, and I’d just leave a square area. I felt it looked like a Hitler mustache, so I complained far and wide. Possibly I griped about it in here!

I was NOT happy about it. Bad words occurred, as they do with me sometimes. There are only a couple of words I won’t use casually (like, I’ll say “cunt” but only at work in the context of saying something like “He called you a cunt because you drank the last Coke?”). So someone who’s too stuffy and proper isn’t for me. I mean, I hang out with orion and the rest of you! And I want to be able to say so without being viewed poorly for it.

The smart guy I went out with could never have handled the real me. He’d already started trying to change me. And I think I’m fine the way I am. (Now that the shin 'stache situation has resolved.)

I like what seems to be a similarly varied nature in Hockey. But we’ll see! [/quote]

Oh, that makes sense. People who are overly (or overtly) pious get on my nerves. I can understand refraining in a formal setting but sometimes nothing works quite like the F-bomb.

I saw a funny thing one time. A woman I knew would get really anxious when she had to speak in groups or public in general. She’s very well educated, professional, and absolutely angelic looks. So she starts talking in a group setting and getting nervous about the subject. F-bomb number on drops, which makes her more nervous. Then #2, and 3,4,5 etc. then she starts saying cunt out loud but to herself. By the time she completely broke down it was just a string of profanity that she seemed to have no control over at all, until she finally just covered her mouth and ran out of the room.

It was a room full of mainly upper middle class, middle to older aged women at a seminar for co-dependency, all of whom were very good at being aghast. She damn near blew the wigs off of a couple of those ladies.

912

[quote]csulli wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
I had a bump on my shin and kept nicking it shaving. I’d think it was healed and then pull the skin off all over again.[/quote]
Reminds me of the permanent deadlift scarring on my shins. Just as soon as it is about to heal it’s time to pull again.[/quote]

You’re gonna want to be careful when you shave that! You’ll wind up with Freud’s pointy beard. lol

913

[quote]SkyzykS wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]SkyzykS wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
I worried what would happen if ever I felt the need to announce that I have a motherfucking Hitler mustache on my shin, as I have in the past.
[/quote]

What does that mean? Is it a movie reference or something?

And Congrats. Sounds like you two really click together. I met my wifes family and friends after about a month- at her sisters wedding. She tried prepping and warning me about al of them but there isn’t much more revealing than meeting a persons people in a big wide open setting like that.
[/quote]

I had a bump on my shin and kept nicking it shaving. I’d think it was healed and then pull the skin off all over again. It went on for weeks until I finally stopped shaving the spot for like three weeks. I shave every day, and I’d just leave a square area. I felt it looked like a Hitler mustache, so I complained far and wide. Possibly I griped about it in here!

I was NOT happy about it. Bad words occurred, as they do with me sometimes. There are only a couple of words I won’t use casually (like, I’ll say “cunt” but only at work in the context of saying something like “He called you a cunt because you drank the last Coke?”). So someone who’s too stuffy and proper isn’t for me. I mean, I hang out with orion and the rest of you! And I want to be able to say so without being viewed poorly for it.

The smart guy I went out with could never have handled the real me. He’d already started trying to change me. And I think I’m fine the way I am. (Now that the shin 'stache situation has resolved.)

I like what seems to be a similarly varied nature in Hockey. But we’ll see! [/quote]

Oh, that makes sense. People who are overly (or overtly) pious get on my nerves. I can understand refraining in a formal setting but sometimes nothing works quite like the F-bomb.

I saw a funny thing one time. A woman I knew would get really anxious when she had to speak in groups or public in general. She’s very well educated, professional, and absolutely angelic looks. So she starts talking in a group setting and getting nervous about the subject. F-bomb number on drops, which makes her more nervous. Then #2, and 3,4,5 etc. then she starts saying cunt out loud but to herself. By the time she completely broke down it was just a string of profanity that she seemed to have no control over at all, until she finally just covered her mouth and ran out of the room.

It was a room full of mainly upper middle class, middle to older aged women at a seminar for co-dependency, all of whom were very good at being aghast. She damn near blew the wigs off of a couple of those ladies.[/quote]

This is very sad. I suspect it’s Tourette’s.

I don’t swear most of the time, but now and again. I like all of the words in my vocabulary equally well and don’t see any reason to censor myself in either direction, so it’s not the words so much as being able to be myself. I don’t want to find myself fitting into someone else’s fantasy of what I should be. Unless for fun. lol

914

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]SkyzykS wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]SkyzykS wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
I worried what would happen if ever I felt the need to announce that I have a motherfucking Hitler mustache on my shin, as I have in the past.
[/quote]

What does that mean? Is it a movie reference or something?

And Congrats. Sounds like you two really click together. I met my wifes family and friends after about a month- at her sisters wedding. She tried prepping and warning me about al of them but there isn’t much more revealing than meeting a persons people in a big wide open setting like that.
[/quote]

I had a bump on my shin and kept nicking it shaving. I’d think it was healed and then pull the skin off all over again. It went on for weeks until I finally stopped shaving the spot for like three weeks. I shave every day, and I’d just leave a square area. I felt it looked like a Hitler mustache, so I complained far and wide. Possibly I griped about it in here!

I was NOT happy about it. Bad words occurred, as they do with me sometimes. There are only a couple of words I won’t use casually (like, I’ll say “cunt” but only at work in the context of saying something like “He called you a cunt because you drank the last Coke?”). So someone who’s too stuffy and proper isn’t for me. I mean, I hang out with orion and the rest of you! And I want to be able to say so without being viewed poorly for it.

The smart guy I went out with could never have handled the real me. He’d already started trying to change me. And I think I’m fine the way I am. (Now that the shin 'stache situation has resolved.)

I like what seems to be a similarly varied nature in Hockey. But we’ll see! [/quote]

Oh, that makes sense. People who are overly (or overtly) pious get on my nerves. I can understand refraining in a formal setting but sometimes nothing works quite like the F-bomb.

I saw a funny thing one time. A woman I knew would get really anxious when she had to speak in groups or public in general. She’s very well educated, professional, and absolutely angelic looks. So she starts talking in a group setting and getting nervous about the subject. F-bomb number on drops, which makes her more nervous. Then #2, and 3,4,5 etc. then she starts saying cunt out loud but to herself. By the time she completely broke down it was just a string of profanity that she seemed to have no control over at all, until she finally just covered her mouth and ran out of the room.

It was a room full of mainly upper middle class, middle to older aged women at a seminar for co-dependency, all of whom were very good at being aghast. She damn near blew the wigs off of a couple of those ladies.[/quote]

This is very sad. I suspect it’s Tourette’s.

I don’t swear most of the time, but now and again. I like all of the words in my vocabulary equally well and don’t see any reason to censor myself in either direction, so it’s not the words so much as being able to be myself. I don’t want to find myself fitting into someone else’s fantasy of what I should be. Unless for fun. lol[/quote]

Oops. I guess I should clarify- I didn’t mean haha funny. I meant like observing something that is entirely unusual or out of character.

916

[quote]Chushin wrote:

[quote]SkyzykS wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]SkyzykS wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
I worried what would happen if ever I felt the need to announce that I have a motherfucking Hitler mustache on my shin, as I have in the past.
[/quote]

What does that mean? Is it a movie reference or something?

And Congrats. Sounds like you two really click together. I met my wifes family and friends after about a month- at her sisters wedding. She tried prepping and warning me about al of them but there isn’t much more revealing than meeting a persons people in a big wide open setting like that.
[/quote]

I had a bump on my shin and kept nicking it shaving. I’d think it was healed and then pull the skin off all over again. It went on for weeks until I finally stopped shaving the spot for like three weeks. I shave every day, and I’d just leave a square area. I felt it looked like a Hitler mustache, so I complained far and wide. Possibly I griped about it in here!

I was NOT happy about it. Bad words occurred, as they do with me sometimes. There are only a couple of words I won’t use casually (like, I’ll say “cunt” but only at work in the context of saying something like “He called you a cunt because you drank the last Coke?”). So someone who’s too stuffy and proper isn’t for me. I mean, I hang out with orion and the rest of you! And I want to be able to say so without being viewed poorly for it.

The smart guy I went out with could never have handled the real me. He’d already started trying to change me. And I think I’m fine the way I am. (Now that the shin 'stache situation has resolved.)

I like what seems to be a similarly varied nature in Hockey. But we’ll see! [/quote]

Oh, that makes sense. People who are overly (or overtly) pious get on my nerves. I can understand refraining in a formal setting but sometimes nothing works quite like the F-bomb.

I saw a funny thing one time. A woman I knew would get really anxious when she had to speak in groups or public in general. She’s very well educated, professional, and absolutely angelic looks. So she starts talking in a group setting and getting nervous about the subject. F-bomb number on drops, which makes her more nervous. Then #2, and 3,4,5 etc. then she starts saying cunt out loud but to herself. By the time she completely broke down it was just a string of profanity that she seemed to have no control over at all, until she finally just covered her mouth and ran out of the room.

It was a room full of mainly upper middle class, middle to older aged women at a seminar for co-dependency, all of whom were very good at being aghast. She damn near blew the wigs off of a couple of those ladies.[/quote]

Mild case of Tourrettes? [/quote]

I once knew a gynecologist with Tourette’s syndrome.
It made for some awkward moments during his pelvic exams.

True story.

918

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]Severiano wrote:
What is emotional strength Emily? I mean how do you think it’s characterized and observed?

What would be a, “display” of emotional strength?

Please tell me it isn’t putting up with bullshit. I can see being emotionally consistent as a good trait, but is that the same as being emotionally strong? As in able to rebound well against extreme stress, death, heartbreak, etc?

I’m giving myself away here, but having witnessed very stable people break down. While seeing very emotionally all over the place people thrive in certain situations… I obviously have very different experiences. But you are the professional.
[/quote]

You added stuff in that I didn’t address. It’s hard to know what “emotionally consistent” is. Does that mean somewhat unemotional or very controlled? Personally I like to see all of the emotions on display, but appropriately, in the people around me. Appropriate to me means sad, excited, angry, but regulated and controlled for the most part. An extreme event would obviously make the healthy person react in an extreme manner. Say the death of a child or a trauma of some sort.

Some people thrive on drama, so seem to tolerate a great deal of it without breaking stride. That’s not healthy, in my view.

[/quote]

I know a lot of people put up a fake facade to make up for their insecurities with stories and fake ass dialogues.

I’ve seen it with tough guys, claiming to be this and that. A buddy of mine swore he was a lifeguard, when it came down to it he couldn’t swim. I’ve had guys claim they work up to certain weights only to see them half squat or do some weird partial rep. Church going family men who fuck around with trannies on the side.

Lol. You know what I’m talking about. People who live big fat lies. Sometimes they buy into them so hard they halfway believe them, and are convincing as hell.

919

[quote]Severiano wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]Severiano wrote:
What is emotional strength Emily? I mean how do you think it’s characterized and observed?

What would be a, “display” of emotional strength?

Please tell me it isn’t putting up with bullshit. I can see being emotionally consistent as a good trait, but is that the same as being emotionally strong? As in able to rebound well against extreme stress, death, heartbreak, etc?

I’m giving myself away here, but having witnessed very stable people break down. While seeing very emotionally all over the place people thrive in certain situations… I obviously have very different experiences. But you are the professional.
[/quote]

You added stuff in that I didn’t address. It’s hard to know what “emotionally consistent” is. Does that mean somewhat unemotional or very controlled? Personally I like to see all of the emotions on display, but appropriately, in the people around me. Appropriate to me means sad, excited, angry, but regulated and controlled for the most part. An extreme event would obviously make the healthy person react in an extreme manner. Say the death of a child or a trauma of some sort.

Some people thrive on drama, so seem to tolerate a great deal of it without breaking stride. That’s not healthy, in my view.

[/quote]

I know a lot of people put up a fake facade to make up for their insecurities with stories and fake ass dialogues.

I’ve seen it with tough guys, claiming to be this and that. A buddy of mine swore he was a lifeguard, when it came down to it he couldn’t swim. I’ve had guys claim they work up to certain weights only to see them half squat or do some weird partial rep. Church going family men who fuck around with trannies on the side.

Lol. You know what I’m talking about. People who live big fat lies. Sometimes they buy into them so hard they halfway believe them, and are convincing as hell. [/quote]

Ah. Assholes. I avoid these if possible.

920

I am currently processing the feelings of being deeply in like and also nicely in lust, as well as having had too little sleep last night.

You’re all very lucky that I’m having dinner with my best friend tonight, so she can listen to me gush about Hockey and you won’t have to.