Glad you’ve fared better than this lady, Em- 4 Things I Learned from the Worst Online Dating Profile Ever | Cracked.com
[quote]SkyzykS wrote:
Glad you’ve fared better than this lady, Em- 4 Things I Learned from the Worst Online Dating Profile Ever | Cracked.com
[/quote]
I have seen that too and Imma come out and say it.
Some men simply deserve to be fucked over.
They are not touching the third rail, they are actually trying to hump it.
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
(My arms were pumped like never before, lol.)
[/quote]
Huehuehuehue
[quote]orion wrote:
[quote]SkyzykS wrote:
Glad you’ve fared better than this lady, Em- 4 Things I Learned from the Worst Online Dating Profile Ever | Cracked.com
[/quote]
I have seen that too and Imma come out and say it.
Some men simply deserve to be fucked over.
They are not touching the third rail, they are actually trying to hump it.
[/quote]
Definitely. Also consider that it was in L.A., not very well known for depth or sound thought.
[quote]Chushin wrote:
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
[quote]Chushin wrote:
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
Maybe I’ve finished growing up, finally.[/quote]
Hope you’re joking.
That ship never docks for folks like us.[/quote]
True, I more meant that I’ve finally caught up developmentally in areas I’d been lagging. Now I can surge ahead.
Met the libertine yesterday, and I’m proud to say that there was zero flustering, though he tried a bit. I was totally cool, and in fact may have out-cooled him. (My arms were pumped like never before, lol.)
[/quote]
Will you see him again?
[/quote]
I was thinking so and said I would, but now I’m not sure. I went snowshoeing yesterday with the hockey player (my first time, omg, so much fun) and then back to his place for dinner (he’s a good cook) and then when it was time to go we had the chaste kiss we’ve worked our way up to, then went outside and everything was covered in ice. So I wound up staying over, which led to real kissing, and we went to sleep snuggled up. I’m liking him more and more, the more I get to know him, and it’s all moving so slowly and sweetly. I think this guy may actually be as good-natured as I am. And he’s funny and decent. Maybe even trustworthy. 
So now I’m thinking I don’t really want to toy with a guy whose primary interest is in toying/sparring with me, nor the world-weary cynic or the guy I know slightly and don’t recall finding particularly attractive. I was supposed to have coffee today with the last, but he canceled because the weather caused issues for him at work. I don’t think I’ll reschedule.
Meanwhile, Iraq has noticed a shift of some sort, noting that if I need some space. . .
Why does everyone always seem to know what I’m doing before I’ve even finished doing it?
So my current plan is to continue with hockey guy, but not the others, and hopefully see Iraq when he gets home. But I keep thinking about the stuff csulli has said about the distance and the pipe dream thing. So I don’t know.
I’m going to the baby shower with Hockey next week. So I’ll meet his family.
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
So my current plan is to continue with hockey guy, but not the others, and hopefully see Iraq when he gets home. But I keep thinking about the stuff csulli has said about the distance and the pipe dream thing. So I don’t know.
[/quote]
I’ve just been silently reading (and I missed a page or two that I’ll have to go back on), but I wanted to echo csulli’s comment about the distance and pipe dream thing.
Especially since at the end of the day you seem to really just want a guy you can cuddle up next to. Along with other qualities of course, but this seems to be an important one, oft-repeated, and that you won’t get much of with Iraq guy.
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
[quote]Chushin wrote:
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
[quote]Chushin wrote:
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
Maybe I’ve finished growing up, finally.[/quote]
Hope you’re joking.
That ship never docks for folks like us.[/quote]
True, I more meant that I’ve finally caught up developmentally in areas I’d been lagging. Now I can surge ahead.
Met the libertine yesterday, and I’m proud to say that there was zero flustering, though he tried a bit. I was totally cool, and in fact may have out-cooled him. (My arms were pumped like never before, lol.)
[/quote]
Will you see him again?
[/quote]
I was thinking so and said I would, but now I’m not sure. I went snowshoeing yesterday with the hockey player (my first time, omg, so much fun) and then back to his place for dinner (he’s a good cook) and then when it was time to go we had the chaste kiss we’ve worked our way up to, then went outside and everything was covered in ice. So I wound up staying over, which led to real kissing, and we went to sleep snuggled up. I’m liking him more and more, the more I get to know him, and it’s all moving so slowly and sweetly. I think this guy may actually be as good-natured as I am. And he’s funny and decent. Maybe even trustworthy.
So now I’m thinking I don’t really want to toy with a guy whose primary interest is in toying/sparring with me, nor the world-weary cynic or the guy I know slightly and don’t recall finding particularly attractive. I was supposed to have coffee today with the last, but he canceled because the weather caused issues for him at work. I don’t think I’ll reschedule.
Meanwhile, Iraq has noticed a shift of some sort, noting that if I need some space. . .
Why does everyone always seem to know what I’m doing before I’ve even finished doing it?
So my current plan is to continue with hockey guy, but not the others, and hopefully see Iraq when he gets home. But I keep thinking about the stuff csulli has said about the distance and the pipe dream thing. So I don’t know.
I’m going to the baby shower with Hockey next week. So I’ll meet his family.
[/quote]
Look, its your life and everything, but werent you in a relationship were the man was not interested in sex, well not interested in sex in sex with YOU, because he cheated on you!?!
That does not necessarily say something about you, because he may have this madonna/whore thing going where he cant get it up for the nice girls but is plenty ready to bone “sluts”?
Thats the vibe I am getting, he does not make a move when he OBVIOUSLY should and the next thing is he invites you to a baby shower!?!
Its not even about him being succesful with it, but he should have made a MOVE!!!
You come close to settle for a warm fuzzy blanket and I do not trust this guy one bit because he does not even own up to having a dick.
[quote]orion wrote:
Look, its your life and everything, but werent you in a relationship were the man was not interested in sex, well not interested in sex in sex with YOU, because he cheated on you!?!
That does not necessarily say something about you, because he may have this madonna/whore thing going where he cant get it up for the nice girls but is plenty ready to bone “sluts”?
Thats the vibe I am getting, he does not make a move when he OBVIOUSLY should and the next thing is he invites you to a baby shower!?!
Its not even about him being succesful with it, but he should have made a MOVE!!!
You come close to settle for a warm fuzzy blanket and I do not trust this guy one bit because he does not even own up to having a dick. [/quote]
lol. I didn’t know that other stuff, but I did find it funny all was talked about was heavy kissing and snuggling. In all honesty, I’m a “nice guy” but I know when not to be “nice” if you catch my drift. And that situation did not call for nice. It called for opening a bottle or 2 of wine and seeing where the night goes.
[quote]ZJStrope wrote:
[quote]orion wrote:
Look, its your life and everything, but werent you in a relationship were the man was not interested in sex, well not interested in sex in sex with YOU, because he cheated on you!?!
That does not necessarily say something about you, because he may have this madonna/whore thing going where he cant get it up for the nice girls but is plenty ready to bone “sluts”?
Thats the vibe I am getting, he does not make a move when he OBVIOUSLY should and the next thing is he invites you to a baby shower!?!
Its not even about him being succesful with it, but he should have made a MOVE!!!
You come close to settle for a warm fuzzy blanket and I do not trust this guy one bit because he does not even own up to having a dick. [/quote]
lol. I didn’t know that other stuff, but I did find it funny all was talked about was heavy kissing and snuggling. In all honesty, I’m a “nice guy” but I know when not to be “nice” if you catch my drift. And that situation did not call for nice. It called for opening a bottle or 2 of wine and seeing where the night goes.
[/quote]
Do you guys not think that’s much more “casual sexish” than Em was looking for? I mean her being physically incapable of leaving and then him getting her drunk enough to fuck sounds a bit date rapey or like some kind of reenactment of that “Baby it’s Cold Outside” song.
[quote]csulli wrote:
[quote]ZJStrope wrote:
[quote]orion wrote:
Look, its your life and everything, but werent you in a relationship were the man was not interested in sex, well not interested in sex in sex with YOU, because he cheated on you!?!
That does not necessarily say something about you, because he may have this madonna/whore thing going where he cant get it up for the nice girls but is plenty ready to bone “sluts”?
Thats the vibe I am getting, he does not make a move when he OBVIOUSLY should and the next thing is he invites you to a baby shower!?!
Its not even about him being succesful with it, but he should have made a MOVE!!!
You come close to settle for a warm fuzzy blanket and I do not trust this guy one bit because he does not even own up to having a dick. [/quote]
lol. I didn’t know that other stuff, but I did find it funny all was talked about was heavy kissing and snuggling. In all honesty, I’m a “nice guy” but I know when not to be “nice” if you catch my drift. And that situation did not call for nice. It called for opening a bottle or 2 of wine and seeing where the night goes.
[/quote]
Do you guys not think that’s much more “casual sexish” than Em was looking for? I mean her being physically incapable of leaving and then him getting her drunk enough to fuck sounds a bit date rapey or like some kind of reenactment of that “Baby it’s Cold Outside” song.[/quote]
Nonsense, he should have made a move and when she really showed that she wanted him to back off, he should have.
Either, he would have had her, or he could have demonstrated that tempory setbacks mean nothing to him.
He has built plenty of comfort, he needs to show balls.
Plus, get it out of your head that women always need to feel safe around you.
Safe = boring.
When a woman tells you that she is a little scared of you it is a) a shittest (actually, a pretty commmon one) and b) the right response is “Great” with a smile and then you can open your arms to let her come in for a hug.
You dont pull her in, you let her come to you.
See, how hard is that.
Danger → tingles.
Even pretend danger, if he really WAS scared of you, she would not be there in the first place and she would NOT tell you, she would be looking for an out.
Plus, to elaborate on that, ultimately the goal is to penetrate her and at least to women who did not ride the carousel hard that also means penetrating her soul, at least a little bit.
She submits to you and that actually should be a little scary and make her a bit insecure and so further and so on.
Now, does she have to trust you in order to let go, yes, but not in the warm, safe, stuffed animal sort of way, but in the confident, manly, “I got this” sort of way.
[quote]orion wrote:
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
[quote]Chushin wrote:
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
[quote]Chushin wrote:
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
Maybe I’ve finished growing up, finally.[/quote]
Hope you’re joking.
That ship never docks for folks like us.[/quote]
True, I more meant that I’ve finally caught up developmentally in areas I’d been lagging. Now I can surge ahead.
Met the libertine yesterday, and I’m proud to say that there was zero flustering, though he tried a bit. I was totally cool, and in fact may have out-cooled him. (My arms were pumped like never before, lol.)
[/quote]
Will you see him again?
[/quote]
I was thinking so and said I would, but now I’m not sure. I went snowshoeing yesterday with the hockey player (my first time, omg, so much fun) and then back to his place for dinner (he’s a good cook) and then when it was time to go we had the chaste kiss we’ve worked our way up to, then went outside and everything was covered in ice. So I wound up staying over, which led to real kissing, and we went to sleep snuggled up. I’m liking him more and more, the more I get to know him, and it’s all moving so slowly and sweetly. I think this guy may actually be as good-natured as I am. And he’s funny and decent. Maybe even trustworthy.
So now I’m thinking I don’t really want to toy with a guy whose primary interest is in toying/sparring with me, nor the world-weary cynic or the guy I know slightly and don’t recall finding particularly attractive. I was supposed to have coffee today with the last, but he canceled because the weather caused issues for him at work. I don’t think I’ll reschedule.
Meanwhile, Iraq has noticed a shift of some sort, noting that if I need some space. . .
Why does everyone always seem to know what I’m doing before I’ve even finished doing it?
So my current plan is to continue with hockey guy, but not the others, and hopefully see Iraq when he gets home. But I keep thinking about the stuff csulli has said about the distance and the pipe dream thing. So I don’t know.
I’m going to the baby shower with Hockey next week. So I’ll meet his family.
[/quote]
Look, its your life and everything, but werent you in a relationship were the man was not interested in sex, well not interested in sex in sex with YOU, because he cheated on you!?!
That does not necessarily say something about you, because he may have this madonna/whore thing going where he cant get it up for the nice girls but is plenty ready to bone “sluts”?
Thats the vibe I am getting, he does not make a move when he OBVIOUSLY should and the next thing is he invites you to a baby shower!?!
Its not even about him being succesful with it, but he should have made a MOVE!!!
You come close to settle for a warm fuzzy blanket and I do not trust this guy one bit because he does not even own up to having a dick. [/quote]
Okay, so there was my ex-husband, who has erectile issues as well as low desire. He cheated, but I think it was because he was looking for an outside solution to inside problems. He found it easier to masturbate than have sex, or maybe he didn’t even do much of that, I don’t know. He was tested for low T at my urging (after reading about it here), and it was an issue, but he didn’t stay on the prescription T for long. Didn’t care, depressed, whatever. Why I believe this was internal to him vs. anything to do with me is that within 3-4 months of moving to Taiwan to be with the Asian woman “who’d do anything he wanted” he told me that it had been weeks since he’d touched her. He wasn’t able to maintain a sexual relationship with her either. I speculate (but it’s only speculation) that he’s sexually submissive and doesn’t realize it or can’t admit it. So no one takes the lead.
Then there was the ex-boyfriend, with whom I was having a great deal of delightful sex in a variety of delightful ways and places. My assumption is that he was cheating when we lived far enough apart that we were only seeing each other a couple of times a week, not when we were together all the time, but regardless, he pushed for an exclusive thing and then cheated multiple times, as I later realized. I know he was happy with me, in all the ways. We were pretty adoring of one another until it all fell apart so quickly.
So I’m not at all sure that I want another #2, who prioritized getting laid in the here-and-now over keeping his freely-given commitment to me. The first time I caught him was early on. “It’s fine,” I said, “I just want an even playing field. We’ll both date others and this’ll be casual.” But no, he wanted to be together and exclusive, saw a future for us, give him one more chance, loves me, blah blah. (Fucker. I’m so pissed at him still.)
I want a third choice. Someone who can and will have abundant sex, but just with me. I think (but am not sure) that Hockey will wait for my slight initiative and then move to take the lead. That’s where we seem to be so far. I do worry, however, that he’s not as driven in that regard as me. I’m not sure what to do but wait and see. Um, there was evidence that he DOES have the requisite parts and they work.
The baby shower - there’s a cash bar and we’re going out to play afterwards. It’s his family, but also says there will be a ton of people there he doesn’t know. I know TNation thinks families are tedious, but LTRs tend to be family inclusive. I met the ex-boyfriend’s parents the first time they came to visit him. We weren’t at all serious at that time, but knew we were heading that way. He said: “My parents like to meet the woman I’m doing.”
My people are starting to get curious about him, too.
[quote]orion wrote:
Plus, to elaborate on that, ultimately the goal is to penetrate her and at least to women who did not ride the carousel hard that also means penetrating her soul, at least a little bit.
She submits to you and that actually should be a little scary and make her a bit insecure and so further and so on.
Now, does she have to trust you in order to let go, yes, but not in the warm, safe, stuffed animal sort of way, but in the confident, manly, “I got this” sort of way. [/quote]
csulli’s right, I’m not ready for that. I wasn’t happy about staying overnight and wouldn’t have been happy about a big rush. Although ultimately I had a really nice overnight and am glad I stayed, because it didn’t push me out of my comfort zone, which typically I would announce with an “I’d better get home, it’s late.” What’s the rush? We both tingled last night.
If/when I have sex with this guy, we’re going to be in a relationship. It may prove not to be a good one (differences in sex drive maybe, or other things) but that’s the end of dating for me.
Edit: because your first two sentences are correct.
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
[quote]orion wrote:
Plus, to elaborate on that, ultimately the goal is to penetrate her and at least to women who did not ride the carousel hard that also means penetrating her soul, at least a little bit.
She submits to you and that actually should be a little scary and make her a bit insecure and so further and so on.
Now, does she have to trust you in order to let go, yes, but not in the warm, safe, stuffed animal sort of way, but in the confident, manly, “I got this” sort of way. [/quote]
csulli’s right, I’m not ready for that. I wasn’t happy about staying overnight and wouldn’t have been happy about a big rush. Although ultimately I had a really nice overnight and am glad I stayed, because it didn’t push me out of my comfort zone, which typically I would announce with an “I’d better get home, it’s late.” What’s the rush? We both tingled last night.
If/when I have sex with this guy, we’re going to be in a relationship. It may prove not to be a good one (differences in sex drive maybe, or other things) but that’s the end of dating for me.
Edit: because your first two sentences are correct.
[/quote]
The third one is too, you will find out.
He will not suddenly unleash his inner roaring lion a few weeks in, if he waits for your permission to own it he has at best an inner chihuahua yipping.
[quote]orion wrote:
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
[quote]orion wrote:
Plus, to elaborate on that, ultimately the goal is to penetrate her and at least to women who did not ride the carousel hard that also means penetrating her soul, at least a little bit.
She submits to you and that actually should be a little scary and make her a bit insecure and so further and so on.
Now, does she have to trust you in order to let go, yes, but not in the warm, safe, stuffed animal sort of way, but in the confident, manly, “I got this” sort of way. [/quote]
csulli’s right, I’m not ready for that. I wasn’t happy about staying overnight and wouldn’t have been happy about a big rush. Although ultimately I had a really nice overnight and am glad I stayed, because it didn’t push me out of my comfort zone, which typically I would announce with an “I’d better get home, it’s late.” What’s the rush? We both tingled last night.
If/when I have sex with this guy, we’re going to be in a relationship. It may prove not to be a good one (differences in sex drive maybe, or other things) but that’s the end of dating for me.
Edit: because your first two sentences are correct.
[/quote]
The third one is too, you will find out.
He will not suddenly unleash his inner roaring lion a few weeks in, if he waits for your permission to own it he has at best an inner chihuahua yipping. [/quote]
Mostly in agreement.
I’m not saying sex, but his hands should have strayed a bit by this point, exploring your limits. Maybe they did, but it didn’t quite sound that way.
[quote]orion wrote:
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
[quote]orion wrote:
Plus, to elaborate on that, ultimately the goal is to penetrate her and at least to women who did not ride the carousel hard that also means penetrating her soul, at least a little bit.
She submits to you and that actually should be a little scary and make her a bit insecure and so further and so on.
Now, does she have to trust you in order to let go, yes, but not in the warm, safe, stuffed animal sort of way, but in the confident, manly, “I got this” sort of way. [/quote]
csulli’s right, I’m not ready for that. I wasn’t happy about staying overnight and wouldn’t have been happy about a big rush. Although ultimately I had a really nice overnight and am glad I stayed, because it didn’t push me out of my comfort zone, which typically I would announce with an “I’d better get home, it’s late.” What’s the rush? We both tingled last night.
If/when I have sex with this guy, we’re going to be in a relationship. It may prove not to be a good one (differences in sex drive maybe, or other things) but that’s the end of dating for me.
Edit: because your first two sentences are correct.
[/quote]
The third one is too, you will find out.
He will not suddenly unleash his inner roaring lion a few weeks in, if he waits for your permission to own it he has at best an inner chihuahua yipping. [/quote]
I don’t find him lacking in confidence at all. Just the opposite. He seems completely unflappable, the farthest thing from a yapping chihuahua. When I worried about the baby shower while we’re still not sure where we’re going, and would it be awkward for him if we didn’t make it to a longer term place, he said “Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine.” I feel like he’s said that a lot in the short time I’ve known him. And I believe him.
I think maybe the guys who’ve been very sexually aggressive with me were paper lions.
So, realistically, what’s your time frame to find out? I’d say 2-3 weeks at the most, assuming you see him roughly twice a week. If nothing happens during that time, well, then yeah.
I also can’t quite tell what you consider “very sexually aggressive”.