A lot of good insight Em
[quote]sen say wrote:
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
have lunch plans with the cheery libertine on Saturday, [/quote]
You’ve found another libertine? I’m hurt…[/quote]
I was waiting for you, but you were over at the neighbor’s house. Is that 19-year-old NEVER going to go to college?
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
[quote]spar4tee wrote:
I’m confused again, Em.[/quote]
Me too. Why are you confused? Is it because like me you don’t know what you’re doing with all these men or how best to proceed?
[/quote]
I just needed some shuteye. From that post alone, it sounds like you’re waiting for the perfect conditions. That probably won’t happen, Em. Juggling giblets comes with great risk.
[quote]spar4tee wrote:
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
[quote]spar4tee wrote:
I’m confused again, Em.[/quote]
Me too. Why are you confused? Is it because like me you don’t know what you’re doing with all these men or how best to proceed?
[/quote]
I just needed some shuteye. From that post alone, it sounds like you’re waiting for the perfect conditions. That probably won’t happen, Em. Juggling giblets comes with great risk.[/quote]
I know. (Giblets? These are a metaphor for entire men, right? lol) I worry about that, too. I don’t think I’m after perfect, though. Just time to explore a little. And finish working through my anger/hurt over the last boyfriend.
[quote]SkyzykS wrote:
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
[quote]Severiano wrote:
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
Won’t desire come or not come once we start doing things? I find him attractive, he smells good - there’s no UN desire. With the smart guy I was having to do some work to get un-desire quenched. With hunter guy it was there as soon as we kissed, but like orion is saying, he was definitely dog to my cat. And then attraction immediately died when he got weird, or when I noticed that he’d been weird all along.
Iraq is polite but certainly making early remarks in that direction. Nothing over the line, definitely don’t get the sense that he’s a libertine like Sen. But dog/cat is there along with clear relationship intent.
Hockey. . . is kind. I think I may have to have a talk with him, about moving slowly and taking time before I settle in and holding off on sex but while we’re on the topic what does he prefer in terms of quantity and such. IF I can choke that all out without having a panic attack. Not because he’s rushing me in any way, god knows he’s not, but to clarify that I’m dating others. I actually think he could be a good match for me sexually because as kind as he is, he’s also quietly take-charge-ish. I haven’t had to do a single drop of thinking about anything so far, except what I wanted to eat. (And of course my usual obsessive over thinking.) He invited me last night to a baby shower, which means his whole giant family 3 hours away (I think he invited me, that is, he said: “I know this is quite soon in our relationship, so I do expect you to say no and I will understand.” Am I MEANT to say no?) I’d sort of like to go because I love meeting families, but. . .?
I don’t think I like Iraq better than Hockey. I just don’t know. I haven’t met Iraq. I don’t want to move forward with either of them while I have the other on the line because that’s not fair to them and would make me feel like an asshole. I’m actually struggling not to feel like one already. I’m worried that I’m being greedy or toying with people or - I don’t know. Something that’s bad.
[/quote]
I’d take Hockey’s offer to you, the baby shower thing as a sign he’s willing to go there. I’m not so secretly rooting for Iraq, but isn’t Hockey everything you said you wanted? Honestly, it’s kind of annoying that you need to think about it, that’s just me being honest. What are you going to do, test him and test him until you find an excuse to not be intimate and keep telling him take it slow lol? Seems like you are already connecting pretty well, you notice his subtle qualities and you like them which means they are very likely real, as he’s not trying to be a showoff and just being a classy dude, treating you like a lady.
If I were him and reading this I’d be annoyed that you are decisive in what you say you want, then when you get it, you are up in the air. I mean the guy is pushing it at his own pace, he can’t control your feelings about the kissing, so what is it that you really want? Seems like you just want to be single and play the field a bit, nothing wrong with that and it’s an explanation unto itself, especially given what you have gone through. [/quote]
Yes, I want to be single for more than a few weeks, play the field and then decide what qualities are important to me and what aren’t. And then I want to settle into a wonderful relationship with someone I KNOW, rather than the first nice stranger who decides he likes me and has good qualities.
Hockey and Iraq both seem to be everything I’m looking for. But who knows? They’re strangers still. [/quote]
I think you’re doin it right. This is that pre-relationship figuring it out/getting to know kind of stage. Decisions on who is the right one are still a little ways off, let alone exclusivity and other long term plans.
[/quote]
I’m with Skyz, Emily you have thought this out meticulously. The right concerns are on your mind.
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
[quote]spar4tee wrote:
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
[quote]spar4tee wrote:
I’m confused again, Em.[/quote]
Me too. Why are you confused? Is it because like me you don’t know what you’re doing with all these men or how best to proceed?
[/quote]
I just needed some shuteye. From that post alone, it sounds like you’re waiting for the perfect conditions. That probably won’t happen, Em. Juggling giblets comes with great risk.[/quote]
I know. (Giblets? These are a metaphor for entire men, right? lol) I worry about that, too. I don’t think I’m after perfect, though. Just time to explore a little. And finish working through my anger/hurt over the last boyfriend.
[/quote]
Yeah that’s cool. I understand. Just take it a day at a time. “Giblets” is mainly due to Markiplier’s impression. Don’t mind that lol.
I woke in the middle of the night last night, sat straight up in bed, and screamed “NOOOOOOOOOOO” when I realized that Valentine’s Day is right around the corner and all of my giblets are going to collide.
I broke right out in a sweat.
Okay, just disabled my profile after sending a THIRD (fourth?) Dear John to the sweet-but-damaged builder.
So that leaves five in play. Maybe four, because the interesting cynic with the dry sense of humor from the other night may not contact me again. He made me nervous, so I nearly strangled myself trying to remove my scarf, which was twisted into my purse strap somehow, along with other deeply uncool things. We’ll see. There may just be four.
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
I woke in the middle of the night last night, sat straight up in bed, and screamed “NOOOOOOOOOOO” when I realized that Valentine’s Day is right around the corner and all of my giblets are going to collide.
I broke right out in a sweat.[/quote]
Oh noez.
You will be bombed with beta.
Your tingles will most likely be permanently destroyed.
Forever and ever.
This thread is an estrogen bomb…Damn.
[quote]spar4tee wrote:
“Giblets” is mainly due to Markiplier’s impression. Don’t mind that lol.[/quote]
I’m always here to get your references mate.
[quote]pat wrote:
This thread is an estrogen bomb…Damn.[/quote]
Don’t breathe the air in here, you’ll lose muscle mass!
Now that stupid song has been stuck in my head all day. THANKS A LOT, PAT.
Gotta turn this back into a cock thread lol.
Cant help but sing the chorus
[quote]Severiano wrote:
Gotta turn this back into a cock thread lol.
Cant help but sing the chorus[/quote]
Uh, good song. Yeah.
I’m having lunch with the libertine today. I can’t WAIT. So curious! He’s extremely entertaining and flirtatious. I think it’ll be fun. And I think I’ve gotten better enough at this dating business that I’m ready to play with fire a bit. At least, I hope so.
I was surprised to get a chatty-ish email from the world-weary cynic this morning. I thought he’d decided “meh.” Especially since his reserve and unreadability made me nervous, so I dorked out completely. I nearly hung myself right at the beginning trying to take my scarf off because it got somehow twisted in my purse strap and I couldn’t undo myself. While he stood watching. lol Then I was babbling a lot. But we started with a plan to have a drink at 5, wound up having dinner and staying at the first place until 8, and then moved to a second place for one more drink, so it couldn’t have been too horrible for him.
I shut down the profile. I think I’ve fished my limit. I don’t want to be overly optimistic, but I think I’ve made the needed changes and am managing my goal of taking time and exploring options.
I also noticed yesterday that my caseload at work is about 50/50 male/female, and that’s going fine, too.
Maybe I’ve finished growing up, finally.
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
Maybe I’ve finished growing up, finally.[/quote]
[quote]Chushin wrote:
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
Maybe I’ve finished growing up, finally.[/quote]
Hope you’re joking.
That ship never docks for folks like us.[/quote]
True, I more meant that I’ve finally caught up developmentally in areas I’d been lagging. Now I can surge ahead.
Met the libertine yesterday, and I’m proud to say that there was zero flustering, though he tried a bit. I was totally cool, and in fact may have out-cooled him. (My arms were pumped like never before, lol.)