Let's Process Our Feelings

Off Topic
561

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

I guess I just have to hope I’m lucky enough to encounter people with scruples. But you know, if not, it’s not the end of the world. Eventually you identify them, feel a brief surge of disgust, then move along and forget about them. Which is ultimately much sadder for the player than the playee.[/quote]

Oh please, you have this notion that you need to trick women into have casual sex.

[/quote]

Not at all, I know plenty of women who have and enjoy upfront casual sex. I have no problem with that, or the men who are upfront in stating that’s what they want.

The notion I was addressing above is the notion that if it gets you what you want, you’re more than willing to mislead women who are not looking for casual sex.

562

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

I guess I just have to hope I’m lucky enough to encounter people with scruples. But you know, if not, it’s not the end of the world. Eventually you identify them, feel a brief surge of disgust, then move along and forget about them. Which is ultimately much sadder for the player than the playee.[/quote]

Oh please, you have this notion that you need to trick women into have casual sex.

[/quote]

Not at all, I know plenty of women who have and enjoy upfront casual sex. I have no problem with that, or the men who are upfront in stating that’s what they want.

The notion I was addressing above is the notion that if it gets you what you want, you’re more than willing to mislead women who are not looking for casual sex.[/quote]

What I suggested was that my sales pitch to you would have been that you do not have to wait for Mr Right just for some sex and intimacy, you could get some without all the hassle of a relationship and so further and so on.

Now, while I know that this will lead to a woman having sex with me, IF she is attracted to me, that is not misleading, that is taking advantage of the fact that women are willing to hamster away anything that might get in the way of her getting what she wants in the moment.

Now, it is not my job to keep a grown up womans hamster on a leash, its hers.

Plus, since all this Game stuff is bullshit anyway, women have no weakness to exploit there, none at all, nothing to see here and as always I remain a deluded buffoon.

Notwithstanding that I indeed do believe that even if two people have no future together they can share some time together which is all the more precious because it will, inevitably, end.

Which, surprisingly, would make such a pitch sincere.

563

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

I guess I just have to hope I’m lucky enough to encounter people with scruples. But you know, if not, it’s not the end of the world. Eventually you identify them, feel a brief surge of disgust, then move along and forget about them. Which is ultimately much sadder for the player than the playee.[/quote]

Oh please, you have this notion that you need to trick women into have casual sex.

[/quote]

Not at all, I know plenty of women who have and enjoy upfront casual sex. I have no problem with that, or the men who are upfront in stating that’s what they want.

The notion I was addressing above is the notion that if it gets you what you want, you’re more than willing to mislead women who are not looking for casual sex.[/quote]

What I suggested was that my sales pitch to you would have been that you do not have to wait for Mr Right just for some sex and intimacy, you could get some without all the hassle of a relationship and so further and so on.

Now, while I know that this will lead to a woman having sex with me, IF she is attracted to me, that is not misleading, that is taking advantage of the fact that women are willing to hamster away anything that might get in the way of her getting what she wants in the moment.

Now, it is not my job to keep a grown up womans hamster on a leash, its hers.

Plus, since all this Game stuff is bullshit anyway, women have no weakness to exploit there, none at all, nothing to see here and as always I remain a deluded buffoon.

Notwithstanding that I indeed do believe that even if two people have no future together they can share some time together which is all the more precious because it will, inevitably, end.

Which, surprisingly, would make such a pitch sincere. [/quote]

Oh stop, no one ever said game is bullshit, people only say that the manosphere is filled with men who are almost identical in their shrill viciousness to their polar opposites, the shrill and bitter feminists.

But anyway, I had exactly that situation occur in the wake of my marriage ending, a friend’s neighbor, and I took him up on it. We’re friends still, I suppose. I’ve always appreciated his clarity. I remember him telling me that there’s a lot of work to do in the first year after a long marriage ends, and I didn’t believe that was true of me, but I was of course entirely wrong. At this point I wouldn’t go near someone who’s separated or freshly divorced.

564

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

I guess I just have to hope I’m lucky enough to encounter people with scruples. But you know, if not, it’s not the end of the world. Eventually you identify them, feel a brief surge of disgust, then move along and forget about them. Which is ultimately much sadder for the player than the playee.[/quote]

Oh please, you have this notion that you need to trick women into have casual sex.

[/quote]

Not at all, I know plenty of women who have and enjoy upfront casual sex. I have no problem with that, or the men who are upfront in stating that’s what they want.

The notion I was addressing above is the notion that if it gets you what you want, you’re more than willing to mislead women who are not looking for casual sex.[/quote]

What I suggested was that my sales pitch to you would have been that you do not have to wait for Mr Right just for some sex and intimacy, you could get some without all the hassle of a relationship and so further and so on.

Now, while I know that this will lead to a woman having sex with me, IF she is attracted to me, that is not misleading, that is taking advantage of the fact that women are willing to hamster away anything that might get in the way of her getting what she wants in the moment.

Now, it is not my job to keep a grown up womans hamster on a leash, its hers.

Plus, since all this Game stuff is bullshit anyway, women have no weakness to exploit there, none at all, nothing to see here and as always I remain a deluded buffoon.

Notwithstanding that I indeed do believe that even if two people have no future together they can share some time together which is all the more precious because it will, inevitably, end.

Which, surprisingly, would make such a pitch sincere. [/quote]

Oh stop, no one ever said game is bullshit, people only say that the manosphere is filled with men who are almost identical in their shrill viciousness to their polar opposites, the shrill and bitter feminists.

But anyway, I had exactly that situation occur in the wake of my marriage ending, a friend’s neighbor, and I took him up on it. We’re friends still, I suppose. I’ve always appreciated his clarity. I remember him telling me that there’s a lot of work to do in the first year after a long marriage ends, and I didn’t believe that was true of me, but I was of course entirely wrong. At this point I wouldn’t go near someone who’s separated or freshly divorced. [/quote]

Yeah well, on the whole manosphere thing, look at this:

Female blogger wants to know why men dont date anymore, they tell her why, she calls them whiny bitches…

While I do feel that the risk of a nuclear rejection is overstated and even if, cant you shut down an ass if you outweigh her by a few dozend pounds?

Still, one wonders.

Anyhow, so my approach would have been spot on?

565

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

I guess I just have to hope I’m lucky enough to encounter people with scruples. But you know, if not, it’s not the end of the world. Eventually you identify them, feel a brief surge of disgust, then move along and forget about them. Which is ultimately much sadder for the player than the playee.[/quote]

Oh please, you have this notion that you need to trick women into have casual sex.

[/quote]

Not at all, I know plenty of women who have and enjoy upfront casual sex. I have no problem with that, or the men who are upfront in stating that’s what they want.

The notion I was addressing above is the notion that if it gets you what you want, you’re more than willing to mislead women who are not looking for casual sex.[/quote]

What I suggested was that my sales pitch to you would have been that you do not have to wait for Mr Right just for some sex and intimacy, you could get some without all the hassle of a relationship and so further and so on.

Now, while I know that this will lead to a woman having sex with me, IF she is attracted to me, that is not misleading, that is taking advantage of the fact that women are willing to hamster away anything that might get in the way of her getting what she wants in the moment.

Now, it is not my job to keep a grown up womans hamster on a leash, its hers.

Plus, since all this Game stuff is bullshit anyway, women have no weakness to exploit there, none at all, nothing to see here and as always I remain a deluded buffoon.

Notwithstanding that I indeed do believe that even if two people have no future together they can share some time together which is all the more precious because it will, inevitably, end.

Which, surprisingly, would make such a pitch sincere. [/quote]

Oh stop, no one ever said game is bullshit, people only say that the manosphere is filled with men who are almost identical in their shrill viciousness to their polar opposites, the shrill and bitter feminists.

But anyway, I had exactly that situation occur in the wake of my marriage ending, a friend’s neighbor, and I took him up on it. We’re friends still, I suppose. I’ve always appreciated his clarity. I remember him telling me that there’s a lot of work to do in the first year after a long marriage ends, and I didn’t believe that was true of me, but I was of course entirely wrong. At this point I wouldn’t go near someone who’s separated or freshly divorced. [/quote]

Yeah well, on the whole manosphere thing, look at this:

Female blogger wants to know why men dont date anymore, they tell her why, she calls them whiny bitches…

While I do feel that the risk of a nuclear rejection is overstated and even if, cant you shut down an ass if you outweigh her by a few dozend pounds?

Still, one wonders.

Anyhow, so my approach would have been spot on?[/quote]

Only if I were fifteen minutes out of a sexless marriage and you happened to be a known quantity who lived very near me and knew all the same people I did and sort of physically resembled my ex, who while not much of a sex parter was safe and familiar.

But assuming all that, yes.

In my experience, personal and observed, men are anxious to date. College kids (male and female), 20-somethings and up. . . everyone wants to be swept of his or her feet.

566

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

I guess I just have to hope I’m lucky enough to encounter people with scruples. But you know, if not, it’s not the end of the world. Eventually you identify them, feel a brief surge of disgust, then move along and forget about them. Which is ultimately much sadder for the player than the playee.[/quote]

Oh please, you have this notion that you need to trick women into have casual sex.

[/quote]

Not at all, I know plenty of women who have and enjoy upfront casual sex. I have no problem with that, or the men who are upfront in stating that’s what they want.

The notion I was addressing above is the notion that if it gets you what you want, you’re more than willing to mislead women who are not looking for casual sex.[/quote]

What I suggested was that my sales pitch to you would have been that you do not have to wait for Mr Right just for some sex and intimacy, you could get some without all the hassle of a relationship and so further and so on.

Now, while I know that this will lead to a woman having sex with me, IF she is attracted to me, that is not misleading, that is taking advantage of the fact that women are willing to hamster away anything that might get in the way of her getting what she wants in the moment.

Now, it is not my job to keep a grown up womans hamster on a leash, its hers.

Plus, since all this Game stuff is bullshit anyway, women have no weakness to exploit there, none at all, nothing to see here and as always I remain a deluded buffoon.

Notwithstanding that I indeed do believe that even if two people have no future together they can share some time together which is all the more precious because it will, inevitably, end.

Which, surprisingly, would make such a pitch sincere. [/quote]

Oh stop, no one ever said game is bullshit, people only say that the manosphere is filled with men who are almost identical in their shrill viciousness to their polar opposites, the shrill and bitter feminists.

But anyway, I had exactly that situation occur in the wake of my marriage ending, a friend’s neighbor, and I took him up on it. We’re friends still, I suppose. I’ve always appreciated his clarity. I remember him telling me that there’s a lot of work to do in the first year after a long marriage ends, and I didn’t believe that was true of me, but I was of course entirely wrong. At this point I wouldn’t go near someone who’s separated or freshly divorced. [/quote]

Yeah well, on the whole manosphere thing, look at this:

Female blogger wants to know why men dont date anymore, they tell her why, she calls them whiny bitches…

While I do feel that the risk of a nuclear rejection is overstated and even if, cant you shut down an ass if you outweigh her by a few dozend pounds?

Still, one wonders.

Anyhow, so my approach would have been spot on?[/quote]

Only if I were fifteen minutes out of a sexless marriage and you happened to be a known quantity who lived very near me and knew all the same people I did and sort of physically resembled my ex, who while not much of a sex parter was safe and familiar.

But assuming all that, yes.

In my experience, personal and observed, men are anxious to date. College kids (male and female), 20-somethings and up. . . everyone wants to be swept of his or her feet.

[/quote]

I doubt that most men want to be swept of their feet.

Mostly, they want a nice, attractive, loyal, caring girl.

Moving on to the viciousness, well, the patriarchy (ayyyyy!) was actually a set of incentives that first used the male sex drive and then the drive to see their offspring prosper in order to make the stakeholders in society and actually have a well ordered society because of it.

We ruined that.

Smashed it to pieces.

If the new deal is that you have to wait until women have finishd riding the carousel and then you get to pay a very high price for what she gave away for free in her prime and THEN it can all be taken away from you at a moments notice AND THEN you will be made fun of if you complain…

Awesome deal, lets do this…

Or not.

567

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

I guess I just have to hope I’m lucky enough to encounter people with scruples. But you know, if not, it’s not the end of the world. Eventually you identify them, feel a brief surge of disgust, then move along and forget about them. Which is ultimately much sadder for the player than the playee.[/quote]

Oh please, you have this notion that you need to trick women into have casual sex.

[/quote]

Not at all, I know plenty of women who have and enjoy upfront casual sex. I have no problem with that, or the men who are upfront in stating that’s what they want.

The notion I was addressing above is the notion that if it gets you what you want, you’re more than willing to mislead women who are not looking for casual sex.[/quote]

What I suggested was that my sales pitch to you would have been that you do not have to wait for Mr Right just for some sex and intimacy, you could get some without all the hassle of a relationship and so further and so on.

Now, while I know that this will lead to a woman having sex with me, IF she is attracted to me, that is not misleading, that is taking advantage of the fact that women are willing to hamster away anything that might get in the way of her getting what she wants in the moment.

Now, it is not my job to keep a grown up womans hamster on a leash, its hers.

Plus, since all this Game stuff is bullshit anyway, women have no weakness to exploit there, none at all, nothing to see here and as always I remain a deluded buffoon.

Notwithstanding that I indeed do believe that even if two people have no future together they can share some time together which is all the more precious because it will, inevitably, end.

Which, surprisingly, would make such a pitch sincere. [/quote]

Oh stop, no one ever said game is bullshit, people only say that the manosphere is filled with men who are almost identical in their shrill viciousness to their polar opposites, the shrill and bitter feminists.

But anyway, I had exactly that situation occur in the wake of my marriage ending, a friend’s neighbor, and I took him up on it. We’re friends still, I suppose. I’ve always appreciated his clarity. I remember him telling me that there’s a lot of work to do in the first year after a long marriage ends, and I didn’t believe that was true of me, but I was of course entirely wrong. At this point I wouldn’t go near someone who’s separated or freshly divorced. [/quote]

Yeah well, on the whole manosphere thing, look at this:

Female blogger wants to know why men dont date anymore, they tell her why, she calls them whiny bitches…

While I do feel that the risk of a nuclear rejection is overstated and even if, cant you shut down an ass if you outweigh her by a few dozend pounds?

Still, one wonders.

Anyhow, so my approach would have been spot on?[/quote]

Only if I were fifteen minutes out of a sexless marriage and you happened to be a known quantity who lived very near me and knew all the same people I did and sort of physically resembled my ex, who while not much of a sex parter was safe and familiar.

But assuming all that, yes.

In my experience, personal and observed, men are anxious to date. College kids (male and female), 20-somethings and up. . . everyone wants to be swept of his or her feet.

[/quote]

I doubt that most men want to be swept of their feet.

Mostly, they want a nice, attractive, loyal, caring girl.

Moving on to the viciousness, well, the patriarchy (ayyyyy!) was actually a set of incentives that first used the male sex drive and then the drive to see their offspring prosper in order to make the stakeholders in society and actually have a well ordered society because of it.

We ruined that.

Smashed it to pieces.

If the new deal is that you have to wait until women have finishd riding the carousel and then you get to pay a very high price for what she gave away for free in her prime and THEN it can all be taken away from you at a moments notice AND THEN you will be made fun of if you complain…

Awesome deal, lets do this…

Or not.[/quote]

MEH. I’m going to the wedding in June of the bright, geeky PhD candidate with the bright, pretty girlfriend I’ve been using as examples since they were like 19 and 20. Another family member is currently 19 and with his girlfriend of 3 years. I have two female clients, pretty girls both, early to mid twenties, living with long term boyfriends they adore and assume they will marry eventually.

Not every girl or woman wants the carousel and then later settles for some poor sucker. Why is that so hard for you to understand?

568

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

I guess I just have to hope I’m lucky enough to encounter people with scruples. But you know, if not, it’s not the end of the world. Eventually you identify them, feel a brief surge of disgust, then move along and forget about them. Which is ultimately much sadder for the player than the playee.[/quote]

Oh please, you have this notion that you need to trick women into have casual sex.

[/quote]

Not at all, I know plenty of women who have and enjoy upfront casual sex. I have no problem with that, or the men who are upfront in stating that’s what they want.

The notion I was addressing above is the notion that if it gets you what you want, you’re more than willing to mislead women who are not looking for casual sex.[/quote]

What I suggested was that my sales pitch to you would have been that you do not have to wait for Mr Right just for some sex and intimacy, you could get some without all the hassle of a relationship and so further and so on.

Now, while I know that this will lead to a woman having sex with me, IF she is attracted to me, that is not misleading, that is taking advantage of the fact that women are willing to hamster away anything that might get in the way of her getting what she wants in the moment.

Now, it is not my job to keep a grown up womans hamster on a leash, its hers.

Plus, since all this Game stuff is bullshit anyway, women have no weakness to exploit there, none at all, nothing to see here and as always I remain a deluded buffoon.

Notwithstanding that I indeed do believe that even if two people have no future together they can share some time together which is all the more precious because it will, inevitably, end.

Which, surprisingly, would make such a pitch sincere. [/quote]

Oh stop, no one ever said game is bullshit, people only say that the manosphere is filled with men who are almost identical in their shrill viciousness to their polar opposites, the shrill and bitter feminists.

But anyway, I had exactly that situation occur in the wake of my marriage ending, a friend’s neighbor, and I took him up on it. We’re friends still, I suppose. I’ve always appreciated his clarity. I remember him telling me that there’s a lot of work to do in the first year after a long marriage ends, and I didn’t believe that was true of me, but I was of course entirely wrong. At this point I wouldn’t go near someone who’s separated or freshly divorced. [/quote]

Yeah well, on the whole manosphere thing, look at this:

Female blogger wants to know why men dont date anymore, they tell her why, she calls them whiny bitches…

While I do feel that the risk of a nuclear rejection is overstated and even if, cant you shut down an ass if you outweigh her by a few dozend pounds?

Still, one wonders.

Anyhow, so my approach would have been spot on?[/quote]

Only if I were fifteen minutes out of a sexless marriage and you happened to be a known quantity who lived very near me and knew all the same people I did and sort of physically resembled my ex, who while not much of a sex parter was safe and familiar.

But assuming all that, yes.

In my experience, personal and observed, men are anxious to date. College kids (male and female), 20-somethings and up. . . everyone wants to be swept of his or her feet.

[/quote]

I doubt that most men want to be swept of their feet.

Mostly, they want a nice, attractive, loyal, caring girl.

Moving on to the viciousness, well, the patriarchy (ayyyyy!) was actually a set of incentives that first used the male sex drive and then the drive to see their offspring prosper in order to make the stakeholders in society and actually have a well ordered society because of it.

We ruined that.

Smashed it to pieces.

If the new deal is that you have to wait until women have finishd riding the carousel and then you get to pay a very high price for what she gave away for free in her prime and THEN it can all be taken away from you at a moments notice AND THEN you will be made fun of if you complain…

Awesome deal, lets do this…

Or not.[/quote]

MEH. I’m going to the wedding in June of the bright, geeky PhD candidate with the bright, pretty girlfriend I’ve been using as examples since they were like 19 and 20. Another family member is currently 19 and with his girlfriend of 3 years. I have two female clients, pretty girls both, early to mid twenties, living with long term boyfriends they adore and assume they will marry eventually.

Not every girl or woman wants the carousel and then later settles for some poor sucker. Why is that so hard for you to understand?[/quote]

Because it does not matter.

Just because she actually landed a top 20% guy does not mean she is not part of the game.

She is, she just plays it right.

Does not change that half of that couples will divorce, there will be strong incentives for her to divorce, which is why she most likely will file it, and so further and so on.

Now, I am just a whiny bitch, bien sure, but this is a rotten, rotten deal.

You know, not so long ago, there was automatic father custody, no fault divorce was out of the question and you know what oppressive patriarchy led to?

Stable families.

Now that women have the upper hand, it all goes to shit.

569

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
MEH. I’m going to the wedding in June of the bright, geeky PhD candidate with the bright, pretty girlfriend I’ve been using as examples since they were like 19 and 20. Another family member is currently 19 and with his girlfriend of 3 years. I have two female clients, pretty girls both, early to mid twenties, living with long term boyfriends they adore and assume they will marry eventually.

Not every girl or woman wants the carousel and then later settles for some poor sucker. Why is that so hard for you to understand?[/quote]
There’s a hell of a lot of bright, pretty girls who end up cheating on their boyfriend/husband of multiple years. Don’t assume other females are like you. For some of them, even if they adore the person they’re in a long term relationship with, it doesn’t take that much for them to find someone else who feels right “in the moment”.

I’ve seen it too many times, and I continue to, given that my friend sphere is still primarily people in their early to mid 20’s.

571

[quote]Chushin wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

Where are you meeting?
[/quote]
Probably a lesbian bar in southwest Pennsylvania. Can you make it?

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
Anyway, I can speak directly to you now, because I’m now nodding along to everything KAS says. Although I’m not sure I’ve ever spoken directly to KAS. Have I, Chushin? (lol)
[/quote]
Huh?

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
I think we may be having another lesbian party soon. You should come to it. Don’t worry about bringing any wine; we drunkenly bought plenty the night of the wine tasting. It was like Christmas morning, opening the case two of us split to see what we bought. :)[/quote]

Sounds great. Just let me know where and when.[/quote]

WaHoo!

And Chushin, That is some very good advice you gave me. I would have responded sooner but I’m still thinking it through. Thanks.

573

[quote]csulli wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
MEH. I’m going to the wedding in June of the bright, geeky PhD candidate with the bright, pretty girlfriend I’ve been using as examples since they were like 19 and 20. Another family member is currently 19 and with his girlfriend of 3 years. I have two female clients, pretty girls both, early to mid twenties, living with long term boyfriends they adore and assume they will marry eventually.

Not every girl or woman wants the carousel and then later settles for some poor sucker. Why is that so hard for you to understand?[/quote]
There’s a hell of a lot of bright, pretty girls who end up cheating on their boyfriend/husband of multiple years. Don’t assume other females are like you. For some of them, even if they adore the person they’re in a long term relationship with, it doesn’t take that much for them to find someone else who feels right “in the moment”.

I’ve seen it too many times, and I continue to, given that my friend sphere is still primarily people in their early to mid 20’s.[/quote]

Same here, many times.

I did mention I was the reason my girlfriend got divorced? Pretty sure I did.

Then there was the girl who lied to me about having broken up with her boyfriend. It was several weeks later when I found out he didn’t know they broke up.

Then there was a coworker who actually invited me out with her during a week when her husband was out of the country, and later asked me to join her yoga class. I kept that from going anywhere, but we had a good time.

There was also a girl in college who didn’t mention she had a long-term serious boyfriend until we’d been seeing each other a few months.

These are doctors, lawyers, engineers, professors. Smart, intelligent, highly educated and attractive. It happens, a lot. And these are girls that otherwise would be a great catch.

Fwiw, in only one case did I knowingly let someone cheat with me (and I actually felt bad and it took a lot of work to rationalize). And I’ve never cheated on anyone.

But yeah. I won’t say every girl does it, but even the smart ones with great relationships still seem pretty open to it. The girls I’d never have expected if I hadn’t seen it for myself.

(Besides my personal experiences, I’ve also heard many stories from my sister about her friends [she’s a few years younger] and stories through girls I know. It’s just that I have multiple personal stories to corroborate things)

574

My best friend and I have more than once questioned whether every man cheats, every single one. Mine both have, hers have. When I was confronting the question Edgy seems to be (except I was in a marriage without sex AND knew he’d cheated) I contemplated whether I could step outside it for some casual sex. In the end I decided no. One reason was because the thought of someone who would have me under those circumstances was so unappealing, and the other was the likelihood that I’d get attached to anyone I was having sex with, and have a giant dilemma on my hands.

My best friend later joked that it was too bad I didn’t; I could have met the adored boyfriend even sooner, as he had (as it turned out) none of those compunctions.

I’m not saying all life is rosy. I would never say that. It’s not. I’m saying that the desire to ride the cock carousel and then later find a schmuck is not universal.

P.S. I met a guy for breakfast Saturday whose wife abruptly left for another man. My mom did the same, but not for a man.

But I also have a close female friend going through the same thing. This is her first Christmas without him. He’ll be with his girlfriend, who left her kids behind to be with him.

WTF, people of the world? WTF?

575

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
My best friend and I have more than once questioned whether every man cheats, every single one. Mine both have, hers have. When I was confronting the question Edgy seems to be (except I was in a marriage without sex AND knew he’d cheated) I contemplated whether I could step outside it for some casual sex. In the end I decided no. One reason was because the thought of someone who would have me under those circumstances was so unappealing, and the other was the likelihood that I’d get attached to anyone I was having sex with, and have a giant dilemma on my hands.

My best friend later joked that it was too bad I didn’t; I could have met the adored boyfriend even sooner, as he had (as it turned out) none of those compunctions.

I’m not saying all life is rosy. I would never say that. It’s not. I’m saying that the desire to ride the cock carousel and then later find a schmuck is not universal.

P.S. I met a guy for breakfast Saturday whose wife abruptly left for another man. My mom did the same, but not for a man.

But I also have a close female friend going through the same thing. This is her first Christmas without him. He’ll be with his girlfriend, who left her kids behind to be with him.

WTF, people of the world? WTF?

[/quote]

The fruit of the feminist revolution, my dear… Don’t you see that?

577

[quote]LoRez wrote:

[quote]csulli wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
MEH. I’m going to the wedding in June of the bright, geeky PhD candidate with the bright, pretty girlfriend I’ve been using as examples since they were like 19 and 20. Another family member is currently 19 and with his girlfriend of 3 years. I have two female clients, pretty girls both, early to mid twenties, living with long term boyfriends they adore and assume they will marry eventually.

Not every girl or woman wants the carousel and then later settles for some poor sucker. Why is that so hard for you to understand?[/quote]
There’s a hell of a lot of bright, pretty girls who end up cheating on their boyfriend/husband of multiple years. Don’t assume other females are like you. For some of them, even if they adore the person they’re in a long term relationship with, it doesn’t take that much for them to find someone else who feels right “in the moment”.

I’ve seen it too many times, and I continue to, given that my friend sphere is still primarily people in their early to mid 20’s.[/quote]

Same here, many times.

I did mention I was the reason my girlfriend got divorced? Pretty sure I did.

Then there was the girl who lied to me about having broken up with her boyfriend. It was several weeks later when I found out he didn’t know they broke up.

Then there was a coworker who actually invited me out with her during a week when her husband was out of the country, and later asked me to join her yoga class. I kept that from going anywhere, but we had a good time.

There was also a girl in college who didn’t mention she had a long-term serious boyfriend until we’d been seeing each other a few months.

These are doctors, lawyers, engineers, professors. Smart, intelligent, highly educated and attractive. It happens, a lot. And these are girls that otherwise would be a great catch.

Fwiw, in only one case did I knowingly let someone cheat with me (and I actually felt bad and it took a lot of work to rationalize). And I’ve never cheated on anyone.

But yeah. I won’t say every girl does it, but even the smart ones with great relationships still seem pretty open to it. The girls I’d never have expected if I hadn’t seen it for myself.

(Besides my personal experiences, I’ve also heard many stories from my sister about her friends [she’s a few years younger] and stories through girls I know. It’s just that I have multiple personal stories to corroborate things)[/quote]
Dude you know exactly where I’m coming from then. My ex left her boyfriend of 4 years after she started seeing me for a few months. Then 3 years later she cheats on me (surprising I know).

I haven’t been in a LTR since then, but I’ve been in a couple situations where a girl has pretty much thrown herself at me, and then I later find out she’s been in a serious, committed relationship for years… And even one where the chick was married, which I knew, but she got me super drunk (she wasn’t drinking) and was just all over it…

Obviously it really hurts being cheated on. I tried to never let it bother me when I found out other girls did it with me, I just said “Well that’s their fault not mine”, but after having enough time to get over it and reflect, they’re both pretty much equally depressing. It’s all just data points of females going outside their committed relationship of multiple years and letting some other dude go balls deep for what feels like no effort…

It’s all rather soul crushing. That’s me whining though like orion said lol. I ought to just lose my humanity and take it like a man like I did in Dark Souls (possible that no one will get that joke outside of the geek shit thread).

578

[quote]dmaddox wrote:
Update: My house is under contract. I am feeling great.

Thanks for letting me share my feelings.[/quote]

Got through the inspection with flying colors. Option period still in effect till Christmas Day 11:59pm, but looks like we are moving forward on the closing of January 17th.

Feeling great and relieved. Now I can actually put a contract on my new house where my wife, three children, a cat, and I can live.

Thanks again for letting me share my feelings.

579

[quote]dmaddox wrote:

[quote]dmaddox wrote:
Update: My house is under contract. I am feeling great.

Thanks for letting me share my feelings.[/quote]

Got through the inspection with flying colors. Option period still in effect till Christmas Day 11:59pm, but looks like we are moving forward on the closing of January 17th.

Feeling great and relieved. Now I can actually put a contract on my new house where my wife, three children, a cat, and I can live.

Thanks again for letting me share my feelings.[/quote]

That is great news D. Good luck in the coming weeks.

580

[quote]pushharder wrote:

[quote]angry chicken wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
My best friend and I have more than once questioned whether every man cheats, every single one. Mine both have, hers have. When I was confronting the question Edgy seems to be (except I was in a marriage without sex AND knew he’d cheated) I contemplated whether I could step outside it for some casual sex. In the end I decided no. One reason was because the thought of someone who would have me under those circumstances was so unappealing, and the other was the likelihood that I’d get attached to anyone I was having sex with, and have a giant dilemma on my hands.

My best friend later joked that it was too bad I didn’t; I could have met the adored boyfriend even sooner, as he had (as it turned out) none of those compunctions.

I’m not saying all life is rosy. I would never say that. It’s not. I’m saying that the desire to ride the cock carousel and then later find a schmuck is not universal.

P.S. I met a guy for breakfast Saturday whose wife abruptly left for another man. My mom did the same, but not for a man.

But I also have a close female friend going through the same thing. This is her first Christmas without him. He’ll be with his girlfriend, who left her kids behind to be with him.

WTF, people of the world? WTF?

[/quote]

The fruit of the feminist revolution, my dear… Don’t you see that?[/quote]

Indeed. The backlash stings mightily.[/quote]

I feel like I remember reading in the history books about male infidelity, though.

True, women cheat at higher rates now than historically, though. I’m not defending it. I haven’t enjoyed being on the receiving end and I don’t suggest it’s okay in any way, shape, or form.

Only noting that when non-cheating women get together they wonder if all men cheat.

I wonder if there’s some correlation between being loyal and attracting cheaters? :frowning: