Alrighty, EHG it is.
After I finessed my way into and out of an exam or two, Pegg and I left London with two bags of grass, 75 pellets of mescaline, 5 sheets of high powered blotter acid…
shit wrong story.
Ok so we leave London with Monster, Spike, Mt Dew and nicotine in abundance. Drive, drive, drive, drive some more. I think I took 2 naps, and attempted but failed at a third. It was a 2.5 hr trip. Put me in the passenger seat for more than 10 min and im OUT. Got a neat pic of the sunset, seemed a column of spiritual sorts was running the fuck away from the place we were heading. Made me LOL.
The normal mix of people were there- those who really wanted to and respected the band but have lives outside of music, the hardcorest guys who escaped from mom’s basement for the evening, and the people who came with one of the first two. Picture a standard bell curve with the third group in the middle and the first two at the ends. It was entertaining people watching.
Some of the opening bands were more thrilling than others, but my palate for that kind of metal is limited, and there were a few times I had to ask one of the group, “Does this actually suck or is it me?” Most of the time, I was on par.
So the semicircular stage that was in the corner of the bar (btw, i need to tell you people that i could smoke IN the bar. we cant do that in Ohio. I was thrilled and amazed) provided somewhat limited front row pressed up against the stage viewing. No real seats, mind you, but wendler was using speakers as an armrest, and setting his drink on the stage.
After looking around a bit more, i noticed that the “real” fans were outnumbered by Moms Basement Crowd, but were up against the stage, getting into it, but mostly absorbing the experience.
the MBC were behind the first 2 or so rows of stage clinger real fans, and insisted upon moshing to unmoshable songs, being retardedly drunk assholes, and taking turns yelling, “i’m the most metal motherfucker here!” which was funny coming from a 5’4" 30 year old albino in a black leather trenchcoat with his septum pierced. You knew by looking at this guy that he hadn’t been laid this year, maybe last, and that he wouldn’t leave mom’s basement again for at least a month.
I stood behind Wendler, Pegg stood behind me. Didn’t take me long to figure out that Pegg was shielding me. Not because he didn’t think I could handle it, but because he enjoyed throwing elbows and decleating people that flew 3 or 4 feet backwards before they hit the ground, and because he knew I was pissed off enough to break teeth.
Ever say, “I don’t trust _______ as far as I can throw them?”
So this skinny child (i assume child, i dunno how old people are anymore. fucker looked young.) moshes his way up to Wendler and I, past Pegg, and tries to throw himself onstage between Wendler and his friend Will. I grabbed the kids jacket (totally hardcore black denim) and said (ok, yelled, really. 0.5 inches away from his face), “Back the FUCK off, these two will kill you if you don’t stop fucking around.” guy gave me a crosseyed, head ragdolling all over the place, “um, ok” and fell away somewhere else.
Few minutes later, kid comes back again as though he’s just departed a trampoline. Landed on Wendler’s bad shoulder, and at that exact moment, pegg was throwing a punch at the most metal motherfucking albino there. I had space behind me and I saw death in Wendler’s eyes, so I grabbed the kid by the shoulders of his totally hardcore black denim jacket and took a step to throw him. The step I took wasn’t enough distance to toss, so i had to take another one. In that half step, that kids skinny little legs never stopped moving. Running, almost. reminded me of the windup cars that PEEWWW! take off when you set them on the ground. So I picked him up again and gave it a good heave. I felt myself get pulled backwards and turned around to find pegg reeling me back in so I didnt get caught up in the chaos.
I acknowledged the good punch, he acknowledged the good throw, and we went about our business.
Pegg got several more elbow throws in that evening, including a 6’3" fatass who decided it was a good idea to LAY on pegg, because the asshole was so drunk he couldn’t stand up. That guy got LAID. OUT.
