@Bolasek: You are too close to your limit. Are you having fun in life or at the gym? Your words transmit anxiety and unfulfillness. I recommend you find a healthy training/eating strategy - that will last longer for consistency and self-appreciation. How do you fulfill your goals long term?
Please find a good psychologist for coaching re balance in life and appropriate decisions.
These responses means a lot to me. Thank you guys. Can someone recommend me a good training program? I’m not sure how exactly my workout should look like. I’m not even sure if i’m still in calorie deficit after adding 300 kcal (1800). Tell me if im wrong - Now if i decrease my lifts just to get few more reps and im still undereating i’m afraid i will lose more strength.
Before @T3hPwnisher punisher jumps in:
Super Squats, buy the E-book, read it cover to cover and do the program (with the recommended diet).
Then come back to this site and check out the many articles on great programs. I suggest
https://www.t-nation.com/training/the-best-damn-workout-plan-for-natural-lifters/
Have you sought the attention of someone trained in matters of human psychology yet?
I strongly second the suggestion to speak to a professional regarding your relationship with food and fear of weight gain.
Beyond that, I would personally not change my training program if I were in your shoes. Changing multiple variables at once invites additional stress and uncertainty into a situation that you clearly already find difficult. I would simply focus on eating more and feeling better without also worrying about altering my training at the same time.
Again, this is in addition to speaking with a professional if that is an option for you.
Its fear from screwing up my hard work ( cut )
Fear is not traditionally considered a reasonable reaction to this situation.
What satisfaction are you achieving being that lean?
Why did you diet down to that lean?
Who cares other than you? I will tell you now, absolutely no body gives a fuck about your level of leaness past a brief… “that guys pretty lean” then they go back to not giving two shits.
If you decrease the weight to get more reps (but you do the same number of sets), while you get out of the caloric deficit you will build muscle mass.
You may get Out of Practice with heavy, heavy weights. Like you’ll temporarily be less Skilled at lifting doubles and triples.
But once you’ve built the muscle with 8-12 rep work, you’ll be able to Practice lifting heavy again. And if you’re bigger, with practice, you will become stronger.
Start trying to think in Phases.
Just like your diet. If you start eating to gain muscle mass, you may put on a little fat in the process. You’ll be more muscley, but slightly less lean.
Then after awhile, you can cut again. Only you’ll have more muscle, so it will be easier. You’ll have more metabolically active tissue, so you’ll burn fat faster.
All that hard work isn’t gonna just disappear. Bulk smartly and you’ll never be more than 8-10lbs away from being at the same leanness - that could be just a month of cutting - time to reap the benefits of your hard work. You’ve proved to yourself you can get lean, you already know how to get there, now focus on your health and how you feel… and build some quality mass along the way.
I’m totally with @kd13.
You have to (with everything) do a net equation for yourself: what is this giving me vs what is it taking away?
Is the shirtless photo on here bringing you enough satisfaction to outweigh the stress the thought of eating a sandwich is giving you?
Don’t worry. I’m eating more and i enjoy it. You think 1800-1900 kcal this week is enough? Next week i’m sure i should add more
Dude don’t even think about the number, go by feel. You want to be recovering from your training and not feeling like a dead man with no energy. If you’re training hard, which you need to be to add muscle, you’re going to be hungry. Feed your recovery, grow your muscles.
On the subject of always being hungry and being able to eat super large quantities of food at a time - when you are chronically underfed your “off-switch” or fullness cue stops working. Your body NEEDS everything on the table because of the long-term restriction and deprivation. Once you start giving yourself the nutrients that you need, gain some weight and stop starving yourself the normal hunger/fullness cues will return - but until then you’re going to be able to eat the whole table and spend most of your time constantly thinking about food. @T3hPwnisher is spot on - you need to seek professional help if you have not already done so.
Feeling so much better right now. Its been six ( today seven) days since i’m eating around 2000 kcal. Not starving, feeling just a little hungry but its completely sustainable. Completely no weight gain. I thought i will put some water weight but i suppose its too early.
Should i wait week more then add another 200 calories ? Its been whole week eating around 2000 kcal and i havent gained even 0.5 pound. My typical day is 10000 steps (work). Upper lower 4 times a week. I don’t know how fast should i gain at least water weight (glycogen etc).
How do you feel?
That’s because 2k calories is probably maintenance or a slight deficit for you… if I was eating 2k calories per day, id be 1200cal deficit daily.
No. This may as well be a rounding error. Bump up 500cal so you can actually gain some weight. You may find that even 2500cal daily isn’t putting weight on you.
Feeling better for sure. It’s not something super special but definitely better. I’m not starving. I thought i will regain some strength but that’s not happening and thats the biggest concern for me. Im still strong comparing to my weight but not strong as 2-3 weeks ago. Mentally im 95% fine. (I want my libido back)
So strength and libido are a couple big indicators. I’d definitely add more calories.
There’s a couple schools of thought on this:
You care about being lean, which would normally lead us to #2. In your case, though, you’ve been at likely an unhealthy level for a long time (as evidenced by your symptoms). I think you at least need to jump to something healthy right now, and then maybe reverse from there. I don’t remember how heavy you are, but anything lower than BW x 14 tends to be a diet for most folks. Maybe go ahead and jump right up to that ballpark, no lower than BW x 12, and expect to gain several pounds immediately (so you don’t freak out when you do).