thnx maschlady.
got in a quick upper push workout:
bb mil press: 55 x 10; 75 x 6; 85 x 3; 95 x 2
bb mil press: 70 x 8, 8, 8
bb close grip bench press: 75 x 12, 12
bunch of random shoulder stuff
I wanted to chime in, too, Deja. Sorry about your break-up. You are a strong woman on many levels and I admire how you know you’ll be fine looking forward, but know you need some time to work through your loss.
When you’re ready, have a closing ceremony or moving forward ceremony if you’re into symbolism. May sound really corny or stupid but I sometimes do stuff like that. (Okay, so I’m corny and can be less than brilliant.)
If you decide to travel the country, swing on by here!
Best,
FF
i like the idea of the moving forward ceremony. i’ll have to keep that in mind. thanks ff.
at the moment i’m either working or bawling. i can’t stop crying. nonstop. it really sucks. i’m so freakin sad. i cannot WAIT for this to pass. ugh.
=+(
It’s the closure that a ‘ceremony’ provides.
I think every relationship needs that closure. I didn’t have that with my first love and I can still think about him and cry, 5 years later.
Use the energy to train harder or do something constructive. Of course the wound is still new, it’ll take time for it to heal.
today i finally get some carbs. gotta love it.
workout:
back squat: 95 x 10; 115 x 8; 135 x 6; 145 x 4
bb step ups to 14" stump: 120 x 6L/6R, 6L/6R; 100 x 10L/10R, 10L/10R
pullups: bw x 6, 6, 4
doesn’t look like much but it kicked mah ass.
now off to shower and work and hopefully keep my shit together.
Those stepups look brutal… Well done on the short intensive workout.
if anyone makes a shit comment about a soft cbear i’ll rip off your head and shit down your neck.
now, while i havent been in a relationship for 9 years (ever), i AM good at breakups, since the past few have made me the breakee not the break-er.
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the physical pain it causes mystifies me and sucks. dont be afraid of some steady ibuprofen, esp for the sinus headaches all that crying causes. may also invest in some saline nose spray.
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make two lists- one of awesome memories and one of shit memories. i’ve gotten to the point where i’ve thrown both away, but the shit list went first… its ended up helping me more to remember the good things.
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there will be something, some seemingly harmless, unexpected thing that happens… a comment from someone else or a friend you see or something of hers you find and forgot you had… that sets you off the edge and hurts worse than anything. it will also be the last before you really start healing.
with my second fiancee, it was my mothers casual comment about how much money i could get for my wedding dress. i went from zero to blubbering idiot in 0.1 seconds and my dad looked like he was ready to stuff my mom in a closet and set it on fire for making me do that. the next morning, on my way to work, i was making plans for what i’d do with the money, and it hit me… someone else, some day, was going to make me happy. sounds odd, but that was the most empowering realization. it doesnt count for you to tell yourself, or for someone else to tell you, you have to have the epiphany yourself.
- something i’m borrowing- “it will all be ok in the end, so if it’s not ok, it’s not the end.”
thanks bear. today sucks ass.
i haven’t had one real hug from anyone since this thing went down.
that hurts.
i’m looking forward to not every OTHER thing being the thing that “sets me off the edge and hurts worse than anything”
appreciate the insight mama.
=+)
btw…
re point 1) well my tooth (and not just any tooth…my back right main motha fucker for mashin da food) decided to go loose and break and feel like i got punched in the face today. and i have no insurance.
i’m UBER appreciative of all the things that go wrong at once. it’s totally a gift. you feel a little pain and all the other bullshit that’s about to happen in the next 18 month decides to blow it’s load early and give you a complete pain experience. but it passes. and then life rocks.
i need a big piece of ass. eventually.
did i mention i got a pullup pr? woot. goal is to be one lean bitch by halloween. i need to buy a slutty costume and swear to wear it come 10-31. i already took the weekend off if anyone knows of a few parties that can’t be missed. =+)
HUG!!!
i was hoping for a scissor.
A scissor hug? squeeeeze
SO what about that tooth? That sounds horrible! I know what you mean about stuff happening all at once…just keep your head above water, you’ll get through this.
BIG SQUEEEEEZE!!
Bear gives good advice.
Meh. All around shitty situation. But I tell ya, you sound pretty good, like you’re really working through things in a healthy way. I’m proud of ya girl and it WILL pass, just something you’ll have to get through (and the tooth is just insult to injury, glad you find the humor in it).
Lol! I love how you casually drop your pullup PR - hello? Some of us (me) are obsessed with pullups - do tell…
I’m already calling for pics of slut-wear in October. kthx! 
[quote]mom-in-MD wrote:
A scissor hug? squeeeeze
[/quote]
this made me lol. literally.
either youre so naive its cute or you made a good funny.
deja, i’ll work on my coordination for some fine scissoring.
naiveté for the win! lol
Maybe a little of both 
i love how when you have a decent amount of muscle mass, weight train for months, have mostly great nutrition, and just a fitness focus in life… you can then go on a 3 month eating/drinking binger and it only takes about 1/3 of that time of getting back on track to get your body right back where it was. it’s great.
tummy is almost flat again. now to lose the loveys.
workout:
bench press: 65 x 8; 85 x 6; 105 x 4; 125 x 2; 135 x 1
bench press: 95 x 15, 13
w8ed chinups: +10 x 5, 4, 3
hanging knee raises: bw x 15, 15
Sucks about your tooth! If you can wait 4 years, I’ll be happy to fix that for you free of charge. 
I hear ya on life dropping a huge load of bad all at once… it’s hard, but like you said, sunshine is just around the corner.
You’re killing the training, btw. Love the weighted chin-ups, that’s bad-ass!
[quote]RBlue wrote:
Sucks about your tooth! If you can wait 4 years, I’ll be happy to fix that for you free of charge. :P[/quote]
dude i’m so gonna hold ya to that!! lol
thanks for the shoutout on the chins. =+)
i’m tired of being blue. and i have a feeling it’s just getting started.
in the meantime i’m just keepin on.
deadlifts manana.
hey deja-damn sorry to hear about the break up. are you still on the farm? hugs and love from up north, lady.
only blue skies and sunshine, no blue moods for extended periods of time.
maybe you can get some video in here so we can oogle you and cheer your kick ass lifts? your vids were always impressive as hell. that might make you smile. weighted chins FTW…but i’ve said that like a hundred times already… =)