And that would benefit OP too. He would know what programs to avoid.
1 Like
I’ll go ahead and say this if it hasn’t already been said:
This is the kind of response that is only given by puny faggots
1 Like
Bro did you lose your calves in a shark attack or something?
1 Like
the good news is the more you take, the more you make.
Well… they are in proportion with his quad size. Just saying.
2 Likes
An oldie but a goodie.
3 Likes
He’s built like a barbie doll, but like if you ripped the legs off and replaced them with two more arms.
2 Likes
I wrote him a program.
Chest - Serratus day
Warm up with wall slides
Incline bench with partials and static holds - 2 ramp up sets, 3x10, to failure, and 30 seconds hold.
Pushups plus. Hit 30, do the extra plusses.
Hitting a boxing bag for time.
Bosu-ball negatives for cool down.
Leg day - Anterior tibialis
Warm up is sprinting in orthotics.
Heel-weighted calf raises.
Hack-squat sled drags.
Band-resisted dorsiflexion to cool down.
Back day - Rhomboids
Seated cable rows with scapular retraction.
Pullup hangs
Suitcase carries with shrugs
Weighted i/y/t/
Arm day - brachioradialis
Cleans
Hammer curls
Velociraptor walks (yes, I just made it up. You hold an ez curl bar and walk around the gym with your arms in the reverse curl position.)
Reverse zottman curls
Flex in the mirror for fun, isometric holds - cooldown
Leg day 2 - Gluteus Medius
Dumbbell curtsey lunges
Bent knee side planks
Abductor machine
Put a 45 lb plate on the ground and kick it around for distance. Do heel, toe, adduction, and abduction.
Disclaimer - Not a real coach.
That’s not too bad! Performed to failure and beyond, you could actually build some muscle! But, it’s like the long way around - when the best way is through. The accessory muscles pave the way for the bigger muscle groups. 
1 Like
It’s supposed to be half stupid. But you’re right, it could be a deload week for a more traditional program. I was just having fun while thinking and avoiding hearing a 3 hour speech about Minecraft from my kid.
1 Like
It’s so weird it would be immensely fun to do! Imagine going to a hardcore gym doing these stunts, hoping to get out alive! The velociraptor walk should be appointed best new excercise of the year!
It’s like the inverse of doing heavy deads to set off the lunk alarm.
1 Like
Proper form is hunched over muttering “rawr” under your breath, then when you rack it, loudly say “Clever girl!”
1 Like
Nerd alert!!!
Spoken from experience - my 18 year old has a MInecraft backpack.
Sold.
But they have to have a plate-loading system, or be filled with concrete.
1 Like
Brilliant! Like those power blocks, but for weird muscles!