[quote]RSGZ wrote:
benmoore wrote:
… after having spent a five pound note already I heard him begging around his friends for another 5p so he could get a pot noodle.
LMAO![/quote]
Man it was disgusting. He was dripping in sweat and huffing and puffing just climbing up the steps into the challet.
The teachers all sensed he was upset and crowded around him, trying to make him feel good. The end result is that he didn’t learn from his experience and just purchased a metric shit-tonne of junk food.
I apologize, I misinterpreted the situation in my last post in having thought she was perhaps not so far off from being able to fit back in the existing custom SCUBA suit so that therefore any dieting method of her choice she employed, regardless if lousy, could do the job and for thinking that she was conflicted about the situation, rather than flat decided to stay at the current fatness or even go beyond it, on the theory that she saw fitting into the existing suit as a good goal.
Hopefully this will turn out the best possible, but I’m sorry to say it now looks as if she has indeed dedicated herself to saying “the hell with it.” Also hopefully I am wrong again in that last thing.
Fella… she’s always been fat? I can understand her confusion then of why you are seeking to change her.
Although you may have the best intentions, it must have rocked her foundations that you suddenly want her to become a person other than what you married, even if it is for her health.
Just live your healthy life and hopefully she will decide on her own to join you.
Maybe you are just nagging and that gets irritating and it usually doesn’t work.
We don’t know how large the existing custom SCUBA suit is, but the absolute size isn’t the point, rather the relative size between then and now. Clearly it fit her before and within recent memory, but does not fit now, with the difference being large enough that she isn’t even considering it. It seems she has deemed it undoable or undesirable to get back to that size. When surely it is doable and ought to be desired.
It would be a completely reasonable goal that she ought to accept and herself want, if not listening to this toxic woman and her lies that morbid obesity is healthy, to get back to that size and then hold it, if nothing else.
As to this supposedly being healthy, a BMI over 32 is shown to double risk of death (Manson JE, Willett WC, Stampfer MJ, et al (1995). “Body weight and mortality among women”. N. Engl. J. Med. 333 (11): 677-85.)
Her BMI is 37.5.
By the way, if she wanted to slip right under this double-the-risk-of-death point, rather than being as at present way above it, at 175 and her height she’d have a BMI of 31.
At that point, if she wanted to say she was doing well FOR HER that might be true and it would no longer be a vast risk to health. The current weight is. She is listening to a horrible liar right now.
The fact is, dropping for example 30 lb from the approximate 205 cannot be an unreasonable goal and should not be undesired.
Or if she wanted to drop just under the “obese” category, which would help her health much more than just slipping under the double-risk-of-death point, then at her height 160 would get her to 29.3, which is just under the limit of 30.
That isn’t an unreasonable goal either but it’s certainly one requiring more seriousness. It would be an achievement to be proud of, legitimately proud of, rather than the current bullshit “be proud of whatever weight you now are” that this toxic woman is espousing.
Of course, I would not raise the question of 160 being needed to stop being obese until after the 175 was met and held for some time. The thirty pounds needed to drop back under the double-the-risk-of-death point is not too daunting a goal, and may well be similar to a size she has been recently such as when she had the custom SCUBA suit made, while 45 pounds can be daunting. Though another 15 after having settled in from a 30 lb loss is not daunting.
Fella… she’s always been fat? I can understand her confusion then of why you are seeking to change her.
Although you may have the best intentions, it must have rocked her foundations that you suddenly want her to become a person other than what you married, even if it is for her health.
Just live your healthy life and hopefully she will decide on her own to join you.
Maybe you are just nagging and that gets irritating and it usually doesn’t work.
[/quote]
She says she’s been fat her entire adult life, but he says she was thinner from her starvation diet & then gained it all back in the last 5 years since they’ve been married.
If she really has been fat her entire adult life, except for that one period, then synthetic is probably screwed.
You know, when I was heavier I was completely blind to it. I thought I looked fine. You want to know how delusional people can be? I thought all my clothes had shrunk in the dryer! HA! Now synthetic’s wife is claiming that at 5’2" & 200 pounds she is both healthy and sexy. Oh, my god, I’m sorry, but she had it right when she wrote fat=unhealthy/gross/bad. I look back at pics of myself at 5’7" & 175 pounds and I feel ashamed. October Girl is right about the nagging, I’m afraid. Your wife is aware of how you feel about her weight & has decided you don’t get a vote.
Synthetic, I’m so sorry your situation is this extreme. What are you going to do?
Tell her that it’s not just about her weight, but everything her weight represents. The laziness, the refusal to improve oneself, the lack of commitment, etc… All that snowballs, gets worse, and you’re afraid what she’ll be like in 5-10 years.
I don’t hate fat people, but I hate everything that it represents, just as I hated who I used to be (when I was a fat tub of lard). I wouldn’t leave my girlfriend for being fat, but I would leave her for becoming the type of person associated with “fat.”
I believe that people should always strive to improve themselves physically, mentally, and spiritually. Her blind self delusion is doing none because despite all the Kate Harding bullshit, she probably deep down inside knows that it’s her fault that she’s this way.
If you can’t get this through to her, get out. God knows this has the potential to be much much worse.
Tell her to get her head out of her ass. — or more so, her head out of Kate Harding’s size XXXXXXXXL fitness-eating vagina.
Tell her to read something positive, like JB’s blog/forums. Honestly, breeding more hate like this thread isn’t going to help your cause, you just have to give her a positive light, and some inspiration.
I was looking at google’s page ranks, and what scared me was her blog was 5/10! Relative to JohnBeradi.com at 4/10 and Testosterone.net also at 5/10.
you can see she isn’t content and happy with being fat. That is good.
Now just YOU be a good example. It isn’t easy to change your whole way of being. YOU start doing the right things and make it easier for her to join you.
you can see she isn’t content and happy with being fat. That is good.
Now just YOU be a good example. It isn’t easy to change your whole way of being. YOU start doing the right things and make it easier for her to join you.
stop nagging
you won’t convince her right now
[/quote]
You think she’ll join of he progresses, or blame him for looking better and better with no “hard work”?
[quote]RSGZ wrote:
OctoberGirl wrote:
stop with those emails.
call a truce and take a rest.
you can see she isn’t content and happy with being fat. That is good.
Now just YOU be a good example. It isn’t easy to change your whole way of being. YOU start doing the right things and make it easier for her to join you.
stop nagging
you won’t convince her right now
You think she’ll join of he progresses, or blame him for looking better and better with no “hard work”?[/quote]
what I think is now it is going to be a point of stubborness with her. The “you can’t tell me what to do” and “If you loved me…” if they keep going back and forth.
How many times can you say the same thing?
He has to do what is good for him, stop rising to her bait, and put his own line in the sand. Do’t make it a confrontation, but don’t tell her he accepts things as they are now.
I don’t know what she will do but a good example is a lot easier to follow than a lecture. No one likes being lectured.
200 something @ 5’2"… sorry she is in no way shape or form healthy. Instead of telling her I don’t find you attractive because you are fat, tell you are concerned about her health, and 10 years from now what the fuck is going to happen.
She is probably pre-diabetic, developing some serious form of heart disease, and destroying every joint in her body. Tell you don’t want her having her first of many heart attacks in the next five years. Tell her you don’t want to watch her body be ravaged by complications relating to diabetes. Tell her don’t want to watch her go through the agony of a knee replacement.
She needs to wake the fuck up. Go find a list of all the complications related to obesity print it out and sit down and have a serious discussion. None of this email bullshit.
Ask her to explain to you how she is healthy. Ask “is this Kate bitch a doctor?” Ask her how is it fair to you, for her to abuse her body, knowing you are going to be taking care of her while she suffers immensely. Ask her “how is this different if you were a drug addict or alcoholic?” Finally, tell her you want to make an appointment with her and her doctor to have a serious discussion about future/current health risks if she doesn’t want to listen.
You’ll probably get a lot further this way. If that doesn’t work… well, either accept it and bite the bullet or leave.
if you dont have kids with her…
then leave her
its only going to get worse
nuckingfutz, on November 27th, 2007 at 6:24 pm Said:
I think you�??re absolutely right.
But I wanted to add one thing.
Sometimes, people don�??t use The Fantasy of Being Thin as an excuse so much as they honestly don�??t think they�??re allowed to do the things/be the person in their fantasy, just because they�??re fat.
I couldn�??t have been popular at school - I was fat. Fat girls are never popular.
I couldn�??t be outgoing - I was fat, and nobody likes the fat girl.
I couldn�??t play sports, because fat girls weren�??t allowed on the team (thank you very fucking much, Gym Teacher!!).
Etc., etc., etc.
It wasn�??t so much that I was allowing my fat to control me, it was that I really, truly, 100% believed those things. Imagine my absolute shock when I moved to another area and people actually wanted to be my friends? But�?� but�?� I was fat!!! Couldn�??t they SEE that I was FAT? I honestly didn�??t GET it. It took me a LOOOONG time to wrap my head around the fact that these people didn�??t just see a fat girl�?� they saw ME. The PERSON who just happened to BE fat. And they thought that ME was OKAY!!! Wow! I couldn�??t believe it! And then even when I moved back to my hometown and would see the bullies and the fat-haters around town (I never went back to the same school) and they would inevitably say some nasty shit�?� it still hurt, but it didn�??t affect me like it did before. I�??d already learned that some people thought I was okay, so fuck �??em.
-I will say that this blog is actually hilarious
this fat girl thought she was being accepted when in fact she just was the FUF-
fat ugly friend- that the other girls use to feel better about themselves.
I assume her and her blogs main audience are all FUFs
whoever said find all of the problems associated with obesity is correct, do that asap.
If you are really serious about this, You need to tell her you never wanted in your life to be bound in holy matrimony to someone you don’t want to have sex with. You need to tell her you don’t want to grow old with someone who will be suffering with self inflicted wounds becuase of their weight, tell her you just aren’t happy. Tell her you WANT to be healthy and attractive FOR HER but if she’s not willing to do the same you’ll leave. I do agree, if you must keep comparing it with drug/alcohol use.
a first step would be to stop sleeping in the same bed. She’ll get the message.
