OOHH! OOHH!! Can I ride a Unicorn? PLEASE?!?!?!?!
Oh, wow, that was a beautiful post, michelle. That was truly rich…
To be fair to MtL, which normally would not be my usual agenda :), Poly relationships can work, and work well. For a VERY few number of people.
and it’s something that comes naturally, just as a normal relationship does. It does NOT begin with banging a co-worker.
I almost entered into a poly relationship twice, and I think I could have been happy with this particular triad, but I eventually learned it wasn’t for me. I’m a one woman man and always will be. Just wish I could find the right one. But lord would I have been a lucky guy - two hot redheads, one british…
Mike the Lip, how did I KNOW that you had long hair and a beard"? Don’t get mistaken for Osama! I would miss some of your politico-whacko ramblings. Actually you sound like you may be worth saving so I won’t give up on you.
so ummm… who’s seen town and country (gary shandling and warren beatty)? it puts some light on this issue. funny shit
TO BROCK: You are the man. My thoughts almost exactly. I’m 19 and in the midst of one of those positions sorta, no cheating I know of, but divorcing parents and for the life of me can’t understand why there’s no attempt to change something, it seems so much like a cop-out. It’s been tearing me apart this last while. I’m just glad I’m not alone in my way of thinking of marriage, respect, and giving someone your word. thanks.
Not that I’m condoning this guy’s actions, but come on, nobody who replied to this post has ever made a mistake similar to this? I’m not defending him, I’m just wondering how it that only husbands, wives, boyfriends, and girlfriends that are completely above giving in to this type of temptation replied. Hey Brock, I respect that you’re loyal to your family, but in your younger, single years, did you ever screw around on one of your girlfriends. If not, good for you , but if so, sorry to say, I think you’re being a hypocrite because the guy stated that he is on the verge of a divorce. Again, I think it’s wrong, but not to the extent of calling someone a piece of shit or complete asshole. Everyone deserves a second chance, even this asshole.
Brock - love your posts, funny, succinct and true to the committment of marriage, being a honest person and open mindedness as a society. QUESTION - do you know who owns BET?
I’ve read the entire thread and digested it for a while and I’ve decided that I really wish I had known about the nurse thing when I was single. Any relationship based on honesty and honoring the others in it will work if it’s right for the people. Marriage is so highly revered but half or so of them fail too. My guess is because not many of us are raised to know how to really care about anyone else and the guilt thing only works so well.
A person is only as good as their word. You enter into a mariage in a traditional sense then that’s the horse you chose to ride my friend. You fucked up, and you know that already. You probably came here looking for someone to support you because it would help make you feel better about what you did. It might have worked for a while, but then reality would eat at you and the bad feelings would come back. The advice about dumping the chick on the side and getting a different job is good. Whatever you do don’t tell your wife, this is a burden you need to carry on your own.
read my post from 10-23 09:46:49. i HAVE done it. why are people a ‘bit’ pissed? from the tone of the past, ‘stuck’ doesn’t seem to be all that sorry, and almost - to me - seems to be looking for support for his actions. ‘we both only planned a one night stand’ so…it was planned and has he done it before? sorry, this guy seems to be putting his dick way before the welfare of his kids and wife. and that’s just shitty.
So what is the update Stuck?
Yes, I was in this position, but no kids involved. Am I regretting the decisions I made? I’m not even going to go there. I have made many changes in my life since then, I have sought forgiveness, and I have closure. However, when I see some one in the same position, I would counsel them from the position of some one who sees where the road they’re on leads. Getting through that intact is a tough challenge, and if it can be avoided, so much the better.
LOL. Ok Mr. Roids, perhaps we need a little clarification here. You see, I am the one with long hair and a beard (but don’t read anything into that). The post you read was mine, in response to Mike the Lib. Read it again and you’ll see what I mean. No harm done, though. Take care.
Well since you asked for an update here goes. I have not seen the other girl for some time now. We both seemed to have problems with carrying on given each other’s situation at the present time. I am still having problems at home with the wife. I did not come here for forgiveness, to defend myself, or to hear everyone’s moral opinions. I just wanted any advice from people who may have been in a similar situation before. Brock: your opinion is noted, although how you became so high and mighty I’d like to know. Michelle (I think): when I said we had only planned on a one-night stand it didn’t mean that it was planned, just when we got together that night we didn’t think it would last past that night. To all others: she no longer works with me, we both have different jobs now although the relationship had nothing to do with that, we were both planning on leaving our other job anyway for different reasons. We have talked since last time we saw each other, and are going to try to continue as friends. She was a friend before all of this transpired. And I have not and do not plan on telling my wife, it would only make things more difficult here than they already are. Any other questions other than direct attacks?
Hey, any of you remember Mike Brady from the
Brady bunch. Well, he always had pretty solid
advice when I could understand what the fuck
he was talking about. And he had some pretty
good advice for people cheating (in sports
not on a spouse) that is applicable here: Cheaters never really win and winners never have to cheat so you can’t be a winner if you
have to cheat. Now think about it, I mean,
REALLY think about it, OK? Brock
Stuck-
Actually, I would trust a human being who has fucked up, learned from it and lived to tell about it over a self righteous ingrate any day of the week and twice on Sunday. And to all the pedants out there, Stuck is a confused, unhappy individual who needs to get his shit together, so how about cutting the poor guy some slack?
Anyway, you asked for advice, so here goes:
Break it off with the the other woman. This does not mean you will not ever get with her, but you do not have any idea what you need or for that matter, want. And don’t even try the friend thing. It won’t work and it will confuse you more.
What is it you are not getting in your marriage? Has your wife put the children’s needs above yours? Does she treat you like a ‘paycheck?’ Are you simply bored? Have the two of you grown apart? You have to ask yourself some tough questions and be honest. After you understand what it is you want and need, only then can you begin to make decisions about whether you want to continue the marriage.
Don’t tell the wife. All it will do is hurt her.
Go see a shrink, brother, best friend, whatever. Talk it out. And don’t be afraid of the hard decision. It always seems hard before you make it, but it is a ton of weight off your back when you finally do.
And what ever you do, never, ever ask for advice concerning life from this board again. As much as I love to weightlift, most of these people couldn’t find their way out of a paperbag with both ends open, a flashlight and a map.
Good luck man.
CLP
Well, since you live in Montana, I will forgive you.
A couple questions to anybody here:
-
whatever happened to marriage being one of the most honored and sacred of things?
-
Am I one of the few from the younger generation that feels it still should be looked upon with respect and dignity? I forget what movie or show it is from, but a line that really describes the situation with marriage nowadays-“I can see getting married, and haveing kids. But a tattoo? Thats so PERMANENT.”
Hey Stuck,
Listen to CLP on this one. He offered the only bit of real advice while everyone else proceeded to kick you while you were down. I am in a similar situation with the wife, less the affair. But I know where you are coming from regarding your marriage. I will say this…the grass is only greener if you will ultimately be happier in the long run. And above all else, be a good father to your kids no matter what happens to the marriage and dont under any circumstances tell your wife about the action on the side. You have some serius soul searching to do. Weigh out all of the actions and consequences to your decisions, and stick to the decision that you make no matter what. Peace.
Wow strasser you sure are a total nutcase. Conservatives say that liberals are polluting the country with porn. Just ask jerry and pat. Jesus would you cons get your story straight. And by the way what is god going to do to GWB. Fucking a 15 year old and an abortion-murder rite? Jesus you are a real nutcase.
In response to CLP’s statement that Stuck is unhappy and confused I would have to say that’s a bull crap. Whatever happened to accountability? The morality level of a large chunk of this country is sinking pretty damn low when people justify disgusting acts of adultery (among other things)_by saying " Oh it’s O.K. He’s just confused" And what happened to honesty? I think Stuck’s wife has a right to know that her husband and the father of her children is a sneaky liar. But, maybe she’ll understand if he explains that he was just unhappy and confused.