girlfriend

Off Topic
1

The last week has been one of the worst weeks of my life, i’m not one to stay depressed but i have been hurt so many times in the last few days. On monday night i got back from the SWIS symposium on sunday(late) my girlfriend of 1 year and 4 months called me to tell me that she still loved me, however that she really likes a 22 year old manager at her work who she had met when i was gone to T.O… it hurt quite a bit since she was telling me this and actually considering breaking up with me. It might have been easier to take if we had been moving apart, but everything was awesome i just had one of the greatest weekends of my life and it all came crashing down.She couldn’t name one thing that was wrong with our relationship. I asked her if she wanted to throw it all away for a person she can’t go out with (her overprotective parents would never let it happen). She decided to work things out. I was still hurt however. To make a long story somewhat shorter, i asked her to tell this guy that she can’t hang out with him in order for us to work things out.(one thing will only lead to another)She told me she didn’t fool around with this guy but she did go over to his house saturday night. On Wednesday she called me at work and told me that she was sorry and that she loved me. I still hadn’t known yet but she went over to his house after school that day.

The next day i was soo happy again everything was going much better and she showed affection for me. However not for long she went to his house that night AGAIN! She told me later that night when i caught her in a lie that she had went to his house that night and the night before. Right then and there i said well i still love you but we can’t do this anymore. The next day she called at 7:00. She cried and said she was sorry over and over… I being the fool that i am accepted these bullshit crocodile tears and took her back, we hung out on friday and saturday night, last night was soo awesome. She cried again and again ( after we made love) saying how sorry she was for what she had done. Today i went to her house for breakfast and things were great, however i was supposed to work and i didn’t know, since GNC is in a mall the mall may fine GNC a minimum of $3000 for not opening for the first 1.5 hrs. She brought me to work. I called her in 15 mins and told her that i might lose my job, she said that sucks and then proceeded to say that she was on the other line with one of her friends so she had to let me go. She always let her friends go before me. She called me back saying that she was going to go to work because she got “called in” I have a few friends and my training partner that work with her so i called him up and he said he saw her come to the parking lot and leave with the dickhead thats doing this to me. I had to break up with her tonight and it really hurt but i just need some suggestions for how to recover from this bullshit. I’ve never hurt this much in my life, and on top of that i can’t concentrate on school i just failed two really important tests which i have never done before. I’ve lost 10 lbs in five days that being mostly muscle. I just don’t know how to deal with this since it was so unexpected and not only that but i might lose my job and my aunt just got diagnosed with terminal cancer.
thanx
blake

2

Time. That’s all that ever cures a broken heart. Although another girl can act as a band-aide and help speed healing.

3

I agree with T, its going to take time. In the meantime keep yourself busy. Work out, force yourself to eat. Try not to spend too much time alone, tends to let you rehash the entire thing over and over. Be with friends. Maybe tackle a few projects that you have put off. It will get better, take care of yourself.

4

Damn homes, I sincerely feel for you. This type of thing is really tough to go through, especially since it sounds like your first time. Unfortunately, I don?t believe that there?s any easy way to get through this. The best thing I can do is give you a few pointers. Number one, cut off all contact with this girl and simultaneously come to terms with the fact that you?re probably not going to get back together. If your girlfriend feels any sort of emotion or attraction towards this guy that she doesn?t feel towards you, you?re basically fucked. No amount of logic or reasoning is going to make her change her mind. With women, it just doesn?t work that way. It took me years to finally understand how and why they feel attraction and how it?s completely different from the way that men do. The point is, don?t kill yourself trying to figure what happened or what you can do about it; you?ll go insane. Number two, try to stay as busy as possible. It won?t fix everything, but it?s better than nothing. The fact is, nothing is going to make this go away except time (and maybe a lot if it). As T said, replacing her with another girl would work, too. However, it may be awhile before you?re ready to do that. The good news is that as a man, you?re about 1000 times better than a woman in understanding that, no matter how you may have felt for her, she is easily replaceable. Lastly, do whatever you can to improve yourself. This is one of the best things you can do for revenge without looking desperate and bitter towards her. Also, if and when you do start dating again, NEVER let on that she hurt her or that you hate her or something; doing this will keep you alone for a very, very long time. And trust me, women can smell this from a mile off every time. Peace out, homeboy.

5

Keep your mind off it! Time heals everything. Best thing to do is go out get shit faced n fuck anything that walks your way. You’ll feel much better trust me.

6

That sucks.But you are going to have to get over her.The relationships over.Move on their are plenty of girls out there.Also remember that you are better then the guy she left you for.Beleive that you are the better man even though she left you.It sucks but your goign to have to get over it.Don’t let this hurt you confidence in the long run.Beleive that you are better off without her.Focus on something else in your life thats positive.I like the suggestion that someoen made about improving yourself,maybe read some more books,work out some more,so you feel like your getting stronger.Remember that your are a confident person and with or without her that you will be happy,you are your own man,be confident beleive you are the best.Also no matter what!Do not get involved romantically with this woemn,even if she wants you sexaully some time in the future,I’m serious you have to have pride,she left you,it was her choice to not go back to her.If you are to upset to talk to her for awhile thats okay,but its okay to talk to her and still communicate with her once in a while,I’m not saying be good freinds with her,just maybe if you sa’ll in her in class or something to talk to her a little bit or if she wanted to talk to you to be polite and lsiten to her and talk to her,as long as you don’t get romantically invovled with her again.Have pride,eventaully you have to get over this and llok back at the breakup and see it as no big deal.Remember you are a man,you can’t let break ups get to you,you have to move on with your life.Have pride!

7

Tell her that the relationshpis over,tell her that she chose another guy to be with,and that he,not you,is her man.or soemthing like that.If she wants to come back to you,tell her that You want to preserve what pride you have left from this debacle,so you can’t take her back.

8

I agree with JRC and Terminator. You gotta cut off all comunication with the girl. Back in college I date a girl for over a year and pretty much the same thing happened. But I kept trying to get her back and kept talking to her. All that did was hurt me more. Blake, from one T-Man to another, MOVE ON!!! A “band-aid” girl works great too. Just don’t try to get attached. Let us know how you are managing…

9

Wow, that’s alot of crap to deal with all at once. You cannot let this get you too down. It’s hard to keep perspective when you are being bombarded with bad news. You sound like you are pretty young too. This isn’t going to be easy, but remember what TC said in his AD article “Stress”. You have to handle this like a T-man my friend. The band-aid girlfriend idea was pretty good, new nooky can help alot to relieve stress. Unfortunately you can’t change how you can feel, but you can convince yourself to accept the situation as it is. There isn’t anything you can do to change the unfortunate circumstances in your life right now, girls run off, people get sick, life isn’t allways perfect. However, there is a ton of great experiences out there to. Accept whatever life throws at you that you can’t change, acceptance makes it easier to bear. Eventually you will get over the pain, pain fades, the more you work on thinking positively the faster the pain goes away, and life gets good again. Hang in there hombre you can hack it. Try watching some T-man movies to get you motivated, that usually helps me when I feel down.

10

I want to thank everyone for the advice, i feel much better now that i’ve read that…I owe you peeps a lot…thanx
gotta go study…l8r

11

My friends have already given you sage advice. Please remember that we have ALL gone through this. This is a very important part of growing up. Your post back brought back some memories. I know you can’t help but think about her all the time. However, you need to keep very busy. Find a few close friends who don’t mind listening to your story over and over. Talk. Get it off your chest. Take very long walks. After a while, date a model.
This mixed up girl will eventually come crawling back. If I were you, I would not take her back. Once trust is broken, it can’t be repaired. Believe me brother, you will be a better man for having endured this. You will be a much better judge of character. Your next real girlfriend will be far better. Good luck. Keep us informed.

12 
 Hey buddy, sounds like u had it pretty rough. Here's my take on your situation. I know how u can be crazy about a girl and try to keep her over and over again, only to realize it's not worth it. You did the best thing u couldve done, which is dump her. As for ur job, its crap. Sure it pays ur bills, but is it worth the stress? Why not something at a gym where u can enjoy yourself more? 
 Tough men  dont allow themselves more than a moment of weakness. It seems like u've had yours. Make sure ur eating plenty and dont let it shake u. In the meantime, and this is just a sugestion, y not bang as many hot chicks as u can before u get back into a relationship? Good luck.
13

Blake, man, I feel for ya bud. I’ve been through the exact same type of situation as you, and all I have to say is that it took me a year to fully recover. Looking back, I guess you have to mourn when you lose a “part of yourself” like that. Roll with the punches; they’ll make you stronger in the end.

14

Dude if you love this girl like I think you do time is not your friend. First of all I would of beat the Holy Shit out of this punk ass dickhead the first time. I know violence doesn’t solve a thing but I would make you feel better. And if you don’t think that your capable of done such a task. Just ask I’ll be more than glad to make this dickface rug to wipe your feet on. I hate guys like this just because it happened to me. My situation was for a younger guy. He thought he was all that and more until I got ahold of his fucking ass. Made me feel better anyways. I did however get her back. She said I guess you really do care for me if you want to spend a few nights in jail for me. Hell I would of done it anyway even if she didn’t come back. That wasn’t the point I had in mind. Any way they are right. There are others out there and if this girl wants to treat you like that then later in life your probley much better without her. You can’t really trust someone like that for long. You’ll always be questioning things she does and deep in your mind you’ll think she is cheating. I don’t believe in band-aid realationships just for the reason that the band-aid has to come off sooner or later. Don’t put some poor girl in your shoes. She just might fall in love with you and you’ll end up hurting her. dont become the shit holes these scum of the earth are. Play the field again and I’m sure you’ll find miss right. About your job. Hey your not the only one out of a job…happens every day. Some more serious than others. Just be thankful you have friends that will support you. There are tons of options out there, you just have to know were to look. And lastly man I’m really sorry about your aunt. You have to be there for her…She needs all the support she can get right now. Be a T-Man and put your chin back up and suck it up. Peace

15

As you heard many times already, time is all that can really heal a broken heart. Distractions are nice though to help pass the time. Focus on school, work, and most importantly you. Concentrate on getting yourself into the best shape of your life. It will make you feel better, and definately help your future endeavors with the ladies. Other women will also help to take your mind off of the situation, and perhaps cause some jealousy with your former female friend. I know up until now, everyone has given really mature advice (except for the shit faced part.) But I, being the asshole that I am, would feel much better if I fucked up that asshole who she is messing with. He knows she has a boyfriend. When a guy doesn’t know, he really isn’t to blame, and eventhough it is ultimately her choice, he has straight up whored you by fucking with your girl. Whip his ass… and if you can’t do it alone, I’ll help.

16

Blake, everyone has given you some great advice. With the exception of going to kick the guy’s ass. I know some of the people here won’t agree with me, but going and beating someone up to solve your problem is not the T-man thing to do. Yeah, T-men are agressive and “warrior” like, but they also have to think. Going and kicking this guy’s ass is only going to get you in trouble and make you look like an immature kid. Use your head, Blake. Channel your anger into something positive like your school and training. Be constructive not destructive. Just know that the since the girl did this to you she is not worth the worry. I know it is hard but kept your head up and focused on YOU and not her. RTR-Sandman…

17

Blake…
The situation you are in right now really sucks. But… shitty as this sounds… thats life. At some point or another we all end up in a ‘down’ time and yes yours is awful. Some people have had worse, some won’t. Really the severity of it is only a partial consideration. The question is how are you going to see it through? Right now you are probably still hurting pretty bad and have probably had a lot of ‘interesting’ thoughts going through your head about what you should do. Most of the other replies have already said it: focus on you. Be a scholar-warrior type and better yourself in every way - including your ability to emotionally understand and let go of terrible things. You don’t have control over much in this world, but you can choose what you will do. I personally recommend against kicking any ass - this girl sounds like she majorly dicked you over, regardless of what she said… I wouldn’t even waste my time to get in all that trouble. If it makes you feel better - you can visualize it, but i would ultimately just let it go … it will only be self-destructive in the long run. As coach davies is so fond of quoting “The Human will is indefensible.” If you decide that you are going to get through this and be a better person for it, nothing can stop you if thats what you want.
Regarding your aunt - it’s awful, so try to find ways to make the absolute best out of whatever time you and her have left.

18

You know, I constantly find myself amazed at the lack of testosterone that finds itself onto these forums. Violence doesn’t solve anything? Then why do we go to war when terrorists attack us? It won’t SOLVE anything. Jesus Christ.

Let me tell you a story about something that happened in my past.

There was a dude who wronged me pretty severely. Rather than sit there and take it, I decided I was going to hand him his testicles. Of course, I did it in the right way: I found the guy and proceeded to insult the shit out of him in front of his girlfriend. George Carlin would blush at some of the things I said to him.

I kept insulting and insulting him until he pushed me. Well, in this country, we have a great thing called the right to defend yourself. The second that prick cocksucker layed his hands on me, I was entitled to defend myself. Which, in my case, consisted of knocking several of his teeth down his throat and splitting his lip open wider than the legs of a 2 dollar whore.

I called the police and while the officer declined to cite him due to his injuries, I wasn't cited, either. After all, I only punched him once, and that was sufficient force to stop him from attacking me further, without causing him greivous injury. Well, nothing so greivous that a little dental reconstructive surgery couldn't repair.

But I suppose that was childish of me, right? I should of just sat home and thought about how someday "he'd get his" and luxuriate in the self-gratifying arrogance of knowing that I'm a "better person" than he is, right?

You want my advice, Blake? Here's what you do:

1: Make up with your girlfriend and have sex with her. Take her from behind, and jam it up her ass with no lube. Tell her it's only fair since she fucked you in the ass first. Then kick her the fuck out of your house, and never talk to her again.

2: Find the bag of gynelogical drippings that did this to you and provoke him into attacking you. Hit him once or twice, but in a way that will leave a SCAR. Knock some teeth out. Grab his head and smash it into your knee to break his nose and/or cheekbones. Wear a big ring and punch him in the eye. Do SOMETHING that will forever remind him that he fucked with the wrong guy.

3: Sit back and bask in the glow of being a man. Not the limp-wristed sissyboy kind of "man" that our female-dominated society wants you to be, but in the proud tradition of every other man before you who had the courage and testicular fortitude not to take it anymore. Then come on over to my house and I'll pour you a beer.

19

Methinks Jack’s got issues.

20

Violence doesn’t solve anything? We gained our freedom and independance by “letting it go” right? I know it’s not the same and I also said I am an asshole before giving my advice, but if anyone questions my T levels, I may be forced to whip some myself. (I’m a cyber-bully) No, really, all kidding aside, anybody with common sense can tell that kicking someone’s ass may result in many bad consequences, but I speak clearly for myself when I say it would make me feel much better if I kicked the guy’s ass. But that’s just me. Peace be with you…