Replace eat with pray. At the very least, it’ll be a moment of pause before moving to the next step.
As @alex_uk said, I’m a Christian and not afraid of it. I find myself mad at the world frequently. The reason is that I’m not of this world. This is Lucifer’s playground. He’s beautiful and tempting but he destroys everything. His methods are creative and he attacks each of us in a unique way. Want proof?
My wife spent a year battling depression and about six years ignoring it. She finally gets over the hump and then I break. I found myself standing in the street holding a riot shield and getting bombarded with glass and rocks. My “Chief” and command staff made a series of decisions that led to that point. Once we were there, we found ourselves overwhelmed. I could see the muzzle flash of a pistol being fired from the crowd and we just stood there. It took 12 minutes for the SWAT team to arrive and disperse the crowd with less lethal weapons. You know why it took 12 minutes? They wouldn’t authorize their deployment. The chief didn’t want to use the scary guys because race was the issue that started the riot. The team was two blocks away listening to us call for help and being told to stand down. The march to reclaim the street culminated with someone shooting at us. Luckily, only one guy was hit and it was a ricochet.
That was at 1 am. Later that same day, I was ordered to put away my riot helmet before we tried to disperse an unlawful assembly. My helmet had a fresh gash in it from the previous incident.
I didn’t believe in the command staff. They put me in harm’s way because the chief’s image is more important than my life. Apparently that whole experience broke something in my head. I’ve been going to counseling since September.
I guess that was the long way to illustrate how Satan works. My wife finally got better and then I broke. She told me my eyes looked empty - like I was dead inside. And she was right. I felt nothing. I don’t think the timing of that is a coincidence.
My wife is a high school teacher and does great things with kids. We both volunteer at our church. We are a power couple in terms of our desire to serve youth and help them. If we succeed then the devil loses. It makes sense that he’s attacking us and trying to destroy our marriage. It’s not easy but we’re winning. We refuse to give in.
You probably won’t feel “normal” in this world, but you can surround yourself with like minded people. Know that your struggles are a form of spiritual warfare. Don’t think that there’s something wrong with you; acknowledge that you’re being attacked. Keep moving forward and take it one step at a time. If you’re on the ropes then survival is the top priority. If that means time off or changing jobs then so be it. It’s hard to heal if you’re constantly being attacked. You have to get better before you can take things head on again.
And @TriednTrue is another open believer on the forum.
