. Is this a new method?
please [insert diety here] let this be real.
Its shaping up to be a good day in euphemisms.
Figured out why I haven’t been feeling up to snuff lately. Cotton Balls. 
.
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Well, I don’t have one and now my feelings are hurt. Nobody loves me 
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Wanna stir some pot? I heard its awesome! 
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There is for sure a history here. 
It is indeed. 
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Don’t say that. You have my heart! 
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Awwww… thanks!
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I’ve had a CRAZY week at work with several new people coming onboard, and I’m really flooded with their stories at the moment (why doesn’t anyone ever start with “good!” why do they all start with a gigantic, heartbreaking misery? don’t I deserve nice things?). So I don’t get it. Is this a hobo appendage joke? Pls clarify.
@BethB what is the flour for in the Piss You Off thread? Are we sprinkling this ON our romantic target or using it as lube, or…? Pls explain to the kids at home.
@ChickenLittle you don’t have a sketch ass grandmother, or a pot to stir, or a cotton ball or…?
And @SkyzykS a cotton ball?
I’m not really accustomed to being the slowest one in the room. Last picked for kickball is more my lane. But here we are!
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“Roll them in flour, and head for the wet spot”
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Yes. This. Aim for the wet spot. Hence the paste issue . Lol
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Ah, of course. I guess I have heard that somewhere along the way.
My quote function isn’t working up there, so bear with me.. 
“Bum foot” = two great fetishes in one package! 
+ 
.
. I know. I’m kinda wierd.
And “Cotton Balls” typically a regular household item, or read differently, a horrible affliction.
On “good!”- We have a little 5 minute warm up of trading niceties and regular goings on before getting into any ugly stuff. I’m not really ever in acute crisis or intensely upset. My overall demeanor is pretty chill, and she’s a pretty light hearted and happy person. So I don’t go in and trauma dump over somebody driving like a jagoff or anything heavily emotional right off the bat.
Actually, my regular repertoire is to sit down and losen up my shoulders and chest, and reset my mind toward theraputic goals.
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I don’t have an orange stripe down the left side of my log.
My grandmother was definitely sketch ass, I have stirred a many a pot and at times had to lick the spoon, just bought some real cotton balls the other day and bitched because they were so expensive at Dollar General, ridiculous!
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Ha! Of course, the thing we were talking about! And I could predict that your grandmother was sketch, and I also imagine that she was awesome. If so, please bring her and yourself to the dead grandmother party we’re planning. @BethB’s grandmother is going to bring cookies and pickles. 
That’s exactly how we start in my office for regulars. I have to keep reminding myself that these new people will be laughing with me in just a few weeks. We’ll have a rhythm and they’ll be okay. When I open the door at the end we’ll be in high spirits and/or keeping our chins up and/or contemplating a light murder. The next person will smile at the last person because laughter is contagious unless you’re an agoraphobic and choose to sit trembling, with your hair in your face. Until you sit down safely inside the office, at which point you relax and start smiling or laughing, too, about the absurdity of it all.
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@ChickenLittle this would be a fantastic party. My grandma was awesome. She used to make these raisin filled (or pineapple filled) cookies. The outside was almost like a fig newton. I have the recipe and can’t for the life of me duplicate the results. She was so funny too. She would laugh until she cried and couldn’t breathe. Then she would catch her breath and say " oh I needed that". I miss her so much. That kind of laughter is amazing.
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I can’t recall my grandmother ever cooking anything, but she loved me so much and was so weird and funny and I miss her painfully. She was perfect.
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My other grandma was a mean old lady. Much less fun to be around. Lol.
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I was fortunate, my grandmothers were wonderful.
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I hope @ChickenLittle’s grandmother wasn’t a mean old lady. Or if she is, that she’s busy the day of the party. lol
I never knew my other grandmother. In fact, my grandma was a step-grandmother. I didn’t know that until I was older, though, so didn’t see her that way at all.
Uhm… yeah she was kinda mean, well maybe mean isn’t the right term… hard. She lived through the great depression and it showed.
She never liked me, she liked my half sister. The sun rose and set in my sister’s ass. 
There’s a loooong story here.
Anyway, she could only cook like 5 things and none of them were cookies, or cake, or pies. Nope! But she made the best real french fries!
She was one tough old bitch!
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Ok. So my grandma will cater the event. Lol
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