I’m a man so I prefer women. And I wouldn’t be so judgmental or self righteous to call a promiscuous woman slutty.
I feel sorry that you felt the need to announce this. Most men just “men” and don’t need to tell others that they are a man.
You clearly missed the spirit of my post. Since you need to announce your manhood, I am not surprised.
Good luck.
You don’t know how the internet works. We can’t actually see one another.
Your post was lame.
You need to announce you’re on the spectrum. Because that’s the only explanation for that weirdo post.
I am okay with that.
Your opinion of my post carries no weight with me.
Just keep announcing that you are a man and some day, you will manifest that.
Which spectrum?
I doubt that was the spectrum to which he was referring.
If you say so Microwave
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I think this is what a lot of people take issue with. It’s not about comparing yourself to past partners (although that does happen, to both men and women). It’s about sex being something you do whenever and with anyone, just because they’re what you happen to be into on any random day. Sometimes doing whatever we want isn’t good for us, or for society.
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I have read this more than once, a supposed link between high sexual enjoyment and adventurousness and number of partners. How is this so, as if people with one or few partners don’t enjoy sex? Why else would they have it? That’s like implying life-long monogamous people have mostly been sex starved.
I know some monogamous people with few partners in their history who have very frequent sex with their spouses.
Honest about what? How is honesty and number of sex partners linked at all?
I’ve actually noticed the opposite. The professional-girlfriend archetype
I’ve written about in the thread is often disloyal to their men, even some of the world’s most desirable men.
There’s a reason people have a dim view of the “if it feels good, do it” mentality and historically put social guardrails up for taming people’s urges. All serious societies regulated sex, and I think the very serious reasons for this should be obvious (not, “those guys must have been insecure betas who wanted to control women”, although there was a practical double standard) And I’ve already pointed elsewhere that polygamous societies (which is a form of sexual regulation in itself, albeit faulty), are violent, low-trust, and stunted, and have serious anti-social activity. What we have now in the US is an unregulated, quasi-polygamy.
Probably the sexual urge is the most hard to tame and many think it shouldn’t be tamed at all and completely dismiss the importance of such guardrails. They also have a tendency to falsely assume the proponents of them are prudes (how they know someone’s sexual exploration, enjoyment, and frequency, I don’t know) and hypocrites.
I recently heard a stat from a researcher on a podcast that 70 percent of poor households in this country are broken. Hence I said “sex is just sex” is a luxury belief. How do lax attitudes work out for such children? The primary victims of sexual revolution have been children.
Also, I wonder how many men with cavalier attitudes to sex are ready to be a responsible parent if a pregnancy does happen with a woman they saw as nothing but sex objects, unless one can actually care about a woman they know for a day or week? I know two men who have children from one night stands and they are completely out of their children’s lives. I mean completely, nothing to do with them. So much for sex being just about sex. And as we SB see, nearly all this talk here is only on the sex act itself, not how licentiousness ramifies.
I say this as someone who thought sex was just sex for much of my life and with activity I wouldn’t repeat if I had knowledge and insight I have now.
There is also a highly individualistic outlook on all this these days. The same goes marriage, as if marriage is something involving two people, not the connection of two families or a social institution for societal stability.
Btw, how do people know others are insecure or for what reason they’re disgusted if they don’t say “I’m insecure” or have such flagrant behavior showing insecurity or state reasons for disgust? Sometimes people cannot even provide a reason they’re disgusted by something. Like I’m disgusted by some food combinations. Why can others tolerate them and I can’t? I don’t know. They just disgust me.
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I did and you ignored it. Most people have not argued against the morality of it.
"It is about more than morals. It is about psychological well-being, social dynamics, and what is best for society, among other factors. Contrary to what is being said, sex has never been the equivalent of a hug, even among animals. There is always so much more going on.
The idea of “sexual freedom,” such as going out of town and sleeping with strangers or engaging in one-night stands, has never been a norm. Bonobos do not do that. Multiple studies have shown the negative effects of casual sex, and it tends to disproportionately affect females.
It is not how we evolved, and 60 years of sexual revolution is not going to change that."
That it speaks to the individual’s development and mental health. Sex has never been used for just pleasure. Many things are pleasurable, why constantly turn to sex?
It has been shown that promiscuous individuals tend to suffer from self-esteem issues and use sex to cope with anxiety, anger, grief, etc. and many suffered some type of sexual abuse/assault/molestation at a younger age.
Do you think most people become strippers, porn actors, sex industry workers because they simply find it pleasurable? I am sure there are some addicts, some nymphos but by and large scarred individuals.
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Here’s the thing, if a man is with a promiscuous woman, he’s just thinking about having sex with her. He doesn’t care how his penis or sex skills match up to other men because he really doesn’t care about how the woman feels as long as he gets what he wants. It’s like a man caring about how a prostitute rates his performance.
And if a man finds out a woman he is seeing was at one point promiscuous, I doubt his first concerns will be about sexual performance. His concerns will revolve around her character and psychological and emotional state. He will be primarily thinking is she, in her current state, marriage material. Because, if he doesn’t think so, then sex and how he measures up is irrelevant.
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I saw this pop up on my YouTubes. It is about 10 minutes.
I don’t always agree with this guy. I think he can be a bit heavy on evolutionary psychology (which doesn’t always match reality IME). I think here he makes a few good points though. One being that context matters a lot with body count. The second being that how she treats you should be considered. That comparing how you are treated by her regarding sex vs the other guys matters a lot. Basically, if she is breaking her rules for you, but not the other men, that the number shouldn’t be a concern.
I’d like to hear what other’s thoughts on this video are.
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Woman: Does body count matter?
Guy: No! Of course not!
Woman: Good. Mine is 798. Wait, are we counting group stuff?
Guy:
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I used to know a bartender named Aldo who claimed to have slept with 5000 people and he counted group stuff.
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Nobody is going to introduce their own insecurities while blaming a woman’s promiscuity for their own internal struggle at the root of the original question. It would defeat the purpose of the original deflection.
Instead of continuing to deflect, can you answer the question? Or any of the questions? Be the first.
How many is too many, and why that specific number? Religious belief aside.
I know you are not asking me, but I figured I’d answer. There isn’t a specific number for me. What matters to me is that I am confident that she isn’t settling for me. That she wouldn’t trade sex with me for a former partner if she had that option. I think it is reasonable to think that as the count gets higher, that being confident about those things is more difficult.
A man not being the best a woman’s had or at least towards the top of the list is not good for long term outcomes.
Men can say they don’t care, but I really don’t think too many men would be fine with knowing they don’t please their woman in bed like a former partner did. If that is insecurity, then I think insecurity is justified.
For the most part I agree, and I do see this as insecurity. I think most men would take the woman with 20 bad partners, but whom they please immensely over the woman with a single partner, but who had an ex that blew her mind while they are mediocre.
So to me the question is flawed and shouldn’t be “does body count matter” but more along the lines of “does not feeling confident in how well you satisfy your partner matter”. This is an interesting can of worms though, because it takes the onus of responsibility off a woman to be chaste, inexperienced and ignorant to pleasure in a way she finds her partner great by default. Instead, it requires men to be sexually adept and “worth it”. This is hard for many men to accept and changes the tone and course of the conversation.
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I agree here. In some ways it could be a turn on if the count is high, and it is reasonable to believe that she favors sex with you over all the rest. It isn’t an accomplishment to be the best if there is no competition, it is an accomplishment to be the best if there is competition.
Just speaking statistically, higher body count makes it less likely that you are the best in bed. Men can try harder to be better in bed, but the reality of it is, it may be out of their control to an extent. At the same time, the take away for men should be the same regardless if they can or can’t be a woman’s best, and that is to basically be unselfish in bed. If you give her good orgasms, you are likely going to be seen as at least towards the top.
Sure, but I think insecurity can be valid / justified. We shouldn’t shame people for insecurity. It can be helpful to show someone when their insecurity is not justified. But let’s say it is totally reasonable for a guy to feel his woman settled for him. You know some of her past partners were more desirable than he is. What help is it to him to mock him for being justifiably insecure?
Yeah. You can always tell if you hit the spot (aside from response in the moment) by the reception you get from her female friends after. Cuz girls talk too. If they’re indifferent or cold, you missed. If they smile, flirt, or make reference, you knocked it out of the park.
And if its short term, the referrals.
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I wouldn’t, and haven’t ever, asked a woman that question. It’s inappropriate and intrusive, in my opinion. I don’t even know how one would bring it up. It seems like it would be awkward. I prefer to assess the person in front of me and not someone who may no longer exist. As I said earlier, if I was only interested in sex, what need would I have for that information? And if I’m interested in a long term relationship, there are other things I would be more concerned about.
Think about this, you could meet a woman who has the character, personality and values you prefer in a woman. Then you find out that she has been with a large number of men but that was in the past; she’s not the same person now. But, it’s a deal breaker and you are no longer interested.
You then find a woman who is a virgin but has an abrasive personality and no class. You could see yourself putting a bullet in your own head if you married her but, she is a virgin.
There is a difference between a woman who is promiscuous and who was promiscuous. You are looking at a woman who searching for meaning, validation, through sex and a woman who is looking for something that lasts more than the effects of alcohol last.
And the whole comparing yourself to other lovers, and the higher number of partners she has had being a bad thing is silly. If a woman had 100 partners, maybe you won’t be the best but you would hope you would be better than at least half. If a woman has been with three guys, well, it increases the possibility you may rank last.
Something else, even if your wife has only been with you, it doesn’t mean she will find sex fulfilling or you competent. A woman doesn’t need to compare you to anyone to figure out you aren’t very good at it.