The fact that this is the most active thread means body count DOES matter.
Deep down everyone is jealous that they weren’t the first to fuck their GF \ wife and instead got second hand goods.
This is the truth.
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No, it’s your truth.
It always bewilders me when someone who participates in an online forum whines about posters discussing, arguing, going on tangents, joking, etc. If we did none of those things then what exactly is the point of the forum? I can disagree with posters, mock posters, post nonsense most of the time and other posters can do the same to each other and to me. The last thing I would say to another poster is that they don’t belong here and they should stop posting. It’s as if people don’t realize they don’t need to click on a thread or read and respond to posts from posters that annoy or bother them.
In this case why, and I’m not directing this at you njord, complain about a thread that apparently has been going nowhere for a few hundred posts now by adding another post? Why even click on the thread at that point? Something about it must be attractive to you.
I believe threads about sex, relationships (a sexual union), and marriage (a sexual union), have high traction is because nearly all people have high interest or high investment in them.
Sexually utopian ideas do not apply to all men. Another example of one is, “All men want a harem of beautiful, young women.” Even many men (I include some past and present TN posters who are high-status men amongst them) who can get that, don’t.
Throughout this thread, and also common in other spaces of the internet, is a peculiar ability to read other people’s minds and know what they feel.
Likely all men here don’t consider their women “goods”.
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Thanks. I put it back up. I thought l came across sarcastic, and I try to refrain from doing that online. @tfan866
I haven’t conversed with you before. My online conduct goes like this (I at least try to keep it so):
- No insult matches.
- No emoting.
- No name calling.
- No ad hominems.
- No gaslighting.
- No public psychoanalysis.
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Just need to have Richard Gere to save them. Then it is a fairy tale ending.
I am not convinced of this from a logic stand point. Requiring a discrete number for count as the determining factor assumes that the outcome for the woman is binary (she is not impacted if under this number, and impacted if above). I don’t think that is correct, or at least it isn’t clear that it should be assumed, because it seems reasonable to me that it could be a spectrum of impact related to count.
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Because it’s a misunderstanding of what logic is. People have already stated that what one considers a high number will vary person to person. And then individuals will take into account variables like age.
Think about DUI. There is no set, universal number for how many beers will get you a DUI arrest. First off, beers don’t all have the same alcohol content. Also, the number of beers that get you drunk will vary based on all sorts of reasons. But a cop will make you take a field sobriety test to determine if you are impaired. There is also a blood alcohol test which won’t say how many beers you’ve had but how much alcohol is in your blood.
So maybe we can’t come up with one number when determining how many partners is too many but we can determine when a woman has had too many based on how it has negatively affected her.
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Exactly why it doesn’t matter.
How can someone state what is important or unimportant to or what is a preference of someone else?
Like, in the example I gave of my first dating rejection because of my ethnicity, obviously ethnicity was important to the woman. Would it be appropriate if I said, “Look, ethnicity and race shouldn’t matter to you in a partner. It’s unimportant”?
How could anyone take away or dismiss that woman’s preference? The same goes for looks, fitness, height, race, family background, income, interests, talents, personality, or whatever else people prefer or think is important.
As I said elsewhere I have a second cousin, who, before she was married, would only go on dates with the intention of marriage with doctors or lawyers. Not only was income important to her, but specific professions. And she did find such a man and has three children with him. Obviously there was no “problem” with her preference considering no relationship was even started with a non-lawyer or non-doctor.
Also, an individual person actually can have a specific body-count stipulation.
If there is on average a spectrum of negative outcomes that are a function of count (in which the value of the average negative outcome is positively correlated with count), then it would matter (or at least should to a sane person). It would be subjective to say at which point the magnitude of the negative outcomes matters (and I agree with this). I think, you are rejecting the the relationship of count and negative outcomes, by saying that since it is subjective at which point count matters to someone that the relationship doesn’t exist (correct me if wrong here), which doesn’t really follow logically. I am not saying the conclusion is wrong, but the logical steps taken to get there are not reliable means to know if it is correct.
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This is like saying that since we do not know how much a person needs to drink to become an alcoholic, drinking excessively doesn’t matter. Well, I think most of us would avoid a relationship with a woman who we judged to drink too much. We wouldn’t need some proof she is a certified alcoholic. It’s like porn, you know it when you see it.
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This is a divergence from the original question to promiscuity in general again.
“Body count” is bro for Scarlet Letter and the question comes from the manosphere you referenced earlier. This is reinforced by some of the OPs comments and implicit agreement with the “pin cushion” comments. I am still curious at what point a woman becomes a pin cushion, but that answer isn’t coming.
The intent of levying a social penalty to a woman’s body count is to categorize and shame her as a “slut”, “skank”, “ho” or “thot”. Then she is relegated to a slut pile for the same manosphere constituents to be promiscuous with because…… testosterone and ancient natural urge to breed, but she isn’t relationship material because that’s saved for virgins, or evidently as close to it as possible.
This is the context I’m responding to when I say it doesn’t matter. This is where my example of a woman who’s had 20 partners but absolutely loves sex with you vs. a woman whose had one partner before you but he blew her mind and you don’t come in to play. It’s also the context early responses before tangents were discussing when they said they’d never ask a woman her count. It’s rude, irrelevant, they never even think about it. It doesn’t matter. And, this is the context I’m discussing around insecurity. The “last in line”. So she’s fucked dudes before you. Big deal. What are you scared of? And it is insecurity, not a moral issue, as we learned principle itself is flexible.
Can promiscuity lead to negative consequences? Of course. Unwanted pregnancy. STD’s. Life altering or even ending. I’m not and haven’t been arguing that wanton sex can’t have very tangible negative consequences. But in the context the question was asked, body count doesn’t matter. I would never ask that. I don’t even think about it.
There has been a lot of back and forth asking for numbers. Both from you asking for the number that is the tipping point, and others asking you about numbers related to your daughter. I don’t think either side here is on track to showing that body count does or does not matter with this line of reasoning. That is all I am trying to say here.
I disagree here. I don’t think I’ve ever shamed a woman for her past sexual experiences. Maybe other’s have? IDK. This seems like something people only really talk about with all men, or on the internet (just my perception).
I think another reason is sexual jealousy. It might seem traditional, but in a relationship even if it isn’t discussed, there is often a trade where a woman is giving access to sex / children and the man is giving commitment / support. I am not saying it is completely rational, but a man that commits to a woman with a lot of sexual partners, he can feel like he is lower than those men who did not have to trade commitment for sex. He is getting sex, but it is costing him more than the guys before him. If he is made to wait for sex, then finds out his woman was doing bar hookup and one night stands with guys, how does that make him feel about himself?
On the other side of the coin, what would a woman think if she found out that her man had proposed to 10 different girls? What about if those proposals all came after several months of dating, and she had been dating this guy for a few years, with no proposal. Would be pretty easy to feel less than those other girls. To feel like you were getting a bad deal, or that the guy isn’t really into you.
Again, these thoughts aren’t necessarily rational, but I think they are fairly common to the people in these situations. Maybe it is insecurity, but how does the idea that you had to offer more to your woman for her to have sex with you than other guys did, make you feel? People change as they get older. She may have treated the other guys the same as you at this point in her life, but it is still something that I think bothers quite a few guys. I am not in this position, but I can understand it.
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I don’t think men think that deeply about it. They just find a woman gross if she has had sex with a number of men that they think is excessive.
I would bet that even those who say it doesn’t matter would have a number that would give them pause. I mean, if a man found out the woman he was considering getting involved with had been with a thousand men, two thousand men, ten thousand men, whatever, at some point he would think there is something wrong with her. Meaning, it does matter. Every man has his too many.
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Interesting. I certainly could be off base. It is why I would think it would matter to a guy, but maybe I think differently than most?
How many have said they’d prefer the woman who screwed 20 guys? I’d say most would prefer the woman who’d been with one guy, which shows it’s not about insecurity or feeling they don’t measure up.
From what have you gleaned that it’s not a moral issue?
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Can someone please explain why some people see sex as a moral issue independent of things like risk (disease, pregnancy) and deception (lying, adultery)?
No one views taking frequent dumps (another bodily function) or enjoying expensive meals (enjoyable activity) as immoral, why is sex any different?
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Your flexibility in applying morality, specifically.
No one writes songs or poems about using the bathroom and going out to eat. I’m unable, at this moment, to articulate why sex is more than just merely another bodily function or enjoyable activity, but I think it’s pretty clear to most people that it’s a separate thing, haha.
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