He loves his brothers. He loves my wife. His mom isn’t very maternal at all, so my wife was the mother he needed. I got custody of him when we divorced, so he lived with me from 7th grade until he was 21.
She committed the felony before we were married, but wasn’t charged until more recently. She was sentenced in late November.
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Let’s be real here: it was insurance fraud. Government insurance fraud… so two of the most corrupt establishments in history were defrauded.
I don’t fuckin care and those corrupt assholes (both in govt and in insurance) should be in jail. Fuck em.
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To each their own I suppose. Flexible integrity will always be a red flag for me, but I couldn’t care less if someone had sex before I met them.
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It sounds like you know which way you are going. I have respect for you. Your situation is difficult, and will get more difficult. It isn’t glamorous, but I see people who take the right path in situations like this to be role models. An example of how men should be.
Raising kids is tough. Raising kids with autism is tougher. I have some insight here as my brother is a low functioning autistic. Growing up I didn’t look up to my father as cool or as someone who I wanted to be like when I grew up. My views have changed. He is tougher than anyone I know. He made sacrifices most others would not, and I never heard him complain about it. He did his best and I really don’t think many guys could compare to him (I can’t).
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Did you read the post?
If I am faced with a dilemma of stealing or letting my kids go hungry, I’ll steal so they can eat. I don’t see it as flexible integrity.
Sure and I said the same, but there are other jobs. This wasn’t the Great Depression. A choice was made vs other alternatives.
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If not now, you will.
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Walk a mile.
I understand what you are saying, but it is too easy to Monday Morning QB.
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I have zero interest in justifying or crucifying the woman’s decisions.
In context, if someone hides a felony theft from me I’m going to be a lot more upset than I would be knowing they had sex before we met. That’s my whole point, and I’m not really interested in arguing justification around fraud.
I get it.
And that’s why she got a four-year sentence: she defrauded frauds. A prison term is bullshit. Maybe she’ll get to talk to some of the January 6 selfie-takers while she’s in there.
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I don’t know the entire situation, but one autistic kid can be a full time job (and a really hard one with lots of overtime). In general, the public has a survivorship bias when it comes to autistic kids. They see the high functioning ones that behave well. It is almost impossible to take the low functioning ones with behavior problems out in public.
Depending on which state you live in there are varying levels of state assistance a parent can get. Some are much better than others. My state (MN) is pretty good. We had PCAs help in home daily, which would make it possible to work. Other states don’t all have that level of support. You can’t leave one of the low functioning autistic kids home alone while working. It would be like leaving a baby home alone. My brother is now a ward of the state, and lives in a group home with other low functioning autistic kids. He had to move houses because one of the other autistic kids burned the house down. It can be like living with a violent wild animal when the kids get bigger. My brother comes home once a week to visit. They have to drop him off, it isn’t possible for my parents to pick him up in a normal car. They used to transport him in a straight jacket, but the state recently passed a law that forbid doing that, so the group home had to basically make their van like a cop car where the driver is physically separated from the passengers.
Again, I don’t know the entire situation, but if the kids were anything like my brother, raising them on my own, without state help, I don’t think a job would be possible. One of my parents would have had to stay home if we didn’t get PCA assistance, and that parent would have gotten the shit end of the stick.
Meanwhile, in NYC…
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Me neither, and I’m not interested in acting as a jury for her decision. I would be concerned about hidden felony fraud activity in a partner. Much more so than the fact she had sex before we met.
I can understand not bringing it up if it had been years prior, and she never got caught and thought it was a done deal. I’ve done some things that although aren’t immoral, are likely a felony (really stupid stuff related to exploring and climbing). Never got caught. I don’t think it would be dishonest to not bring it up as it happened so long ago, and I don’t think they are going to come after me at this point.
This is the point of contention for me. And why I think responses to it are so ironic considering commentary around the thread topic. “Fuck it, she intentionally committed fraud and theft, but she wasn’t a virgin!!?? Not worthy.”
It’s ridiculous.
I like that you always argue in extremes and absolutes.
No one said “virgin or gtfo”, but you conflating the argument to mean this is telling.
What do you mean good luck?
This isn’t hard to achieve
I like that he feels she committed theft…from the fucking government. 