Can you elaborate? And how would you apply this?
I understand.
As a retired English teacher I am conditioned by the rhetorical triangle - subject, audience, speaker. Examining the motivations of the speaker in relation to the audience is important.
People use stats and observations to persuade readers to see things from their perspective. I like to consider the speaker, both in terms of credibility and perspective when considering the content.
I believe you actually do the same despite claiming to read from a detached point of view. I think it is natural to respond to content based on your history.
Thanks again.
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Perhaps when you break the trust of someone when it comes to sex or when you start using people for sex.
Just throwing stuff out there.
My main point is have as much sex as possible, just don’t be a trash human.
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Agreed
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Well you know what! You can take your MLA Format and shove it right up your!
I’m just kidding lol
Yeah, MLA, APA, and the rest are mainly constructs to keep English PhD’s employed correcting the papers of people smarter than them.
Peer reviewed journals have a need, but I know a lot of format savants that can not communicate.
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The nice thing about real academia is that no one cares about the nitty gritty of citation format.
Citing things in a coherent way is enough. No one cares if the title is improperly capitalised or if a period is missing
You should read it again. Or at least try to.
The use of high diction while lacking a named author as a byline makes it unreadable, at least to me.
In the first three paragraphs the author uses such high diction to establish ethos that it reeks of self importance and absorption.
Not my jam.
Sorry.
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Lol. Imagine an English teachers fit when a multi-million dollar business proposal is accepted with grammatical errors. To be fair though, they would love the legal department legitimizing everything in contract language.
Grammar is now joke.
Let’s eat, Grandma versus Let’s eat Grandma.
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I’m in a situation now. So, I’ve been married to my second wife for 7.5 years. Her first husband was a big old ball of shit. Like a really, really shit ball. Abusive, drunk, cheater. He didn’t pay any child support at all for the four boys when the divorce happened. He quit working and his parents pay everything for him so he has no income. Well, my wife was the accountant for his therapy business and committed medicare fraud to feed and house the boys. This was before I met here. I was not aware this had occurred. She has been sentenced to 48 months in federal prison, most likely reporting April 25. She’ll serve at least a couple of years. Her parents have spent obscene amounts of money on criminal lawyers and family lawyers and a specialist to write a report about what is best for the boys. We are fighting for her to be able to transfer her rights to me so nothing changes. Boys would live with me, he would get them every other weekend, and two weeks in the summer. Alternating holidays. Between us, we have 5 boys, the three youngest who are all still at home (7th, 7th, and 5th grade). All three are autistic to a point. The twins are deteriorating primarily because their mom is going to jail and their dad is taking a victory lap, bad mothing her, and telling them that they will have to live with him when she goes away and that I won’t see them at all. One of the twins is having really hard time and is kind of self-harming when he gets overwhelmed (scratching arms, pulling ears and hair, hitting his legs, balling up on the ground crying saying he’s sorry, he’s sorry). Their dad is absolutely not equipped to handle the boys, especially when you factor in that he would be pulling them out of their school which has an amazing special ed support team and sending them to a shittier school in a shittier side of town. Add to all this that I’ve been out of work since the end of September. (but I did get an offer to start a job Monday bending passing the background check.) So I have two paths before me. The day my wife goes to jail, I could pack the boys stuff and give it to their piece of shit dad. I could divorce my wife for not telling me what she had done. I could live a nice, easy simple single life. Or I can fight to keep those boys mine and raise them as as single parent with all that comes along with that until their mother gets out of prison. My head gets mad at being lied to, not being told that there was as chance she could someday be caught and sent to jail and I’d have 3 special needs boys to raise alone. My heart says they are 100% my boys, and even if they weren’t I would never want ANY kid to have to live with that shitstain that is their dad. I feel like this story kind of fits into overall structure of this thread.
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Hell of a situation you’re in, my condolences.
I don’t think anyone here is advocating for abandoning children who aren’t yours, rather leaving a woman who has intentionally deceived you in the paternity of the children you are raising as your own.
While I do see some overlap between this subject and your situation, I don’t necessarily see that divorcing your wife is called for - but my opinion isn’t relevant here. For me, this isn’t like some hard line, but I’d be quite upset/mad/disheartened/quasi-betrayed to be in your situation. I still cannot say if I’d stay in your situation.
Raising children into good human beings is always the right thing to do, but it does bring up the question of “where does the buck stop?”
I guess we all need to find our own answers on that one.
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I’ll keep you & them in my prayers.
I can see why you’d have mixed feelings. It would seem a lot easier to wash your hands of it, but it isn’t. And there are plenty of reasons to be mad, but they don’t help doing what needs done.
The kids are fortunate to have a safe, solid person to stay anchored to when everything they’ve come to know in the world is falling apart, hurtful, and up in the air.
Stay strong, Doogie.
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Wow, thanks for being vulnerable.
Wish you the best. You seem settled.
Good luck.
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What? You’ve read too many responses from internet debaters. I did not ask you to prove a negative; I asked you to provide evidence that promiscuity has positive benefits.
If someone argued that smoking was healthy, one could not argue and prove smoking is unhealthy (a negative)? Proving a negative comes into play when things like absence of evidence come into play.
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Good luck with that, although I wouldn’t choose trash as the adjective.
Oh doogie, what a fucked up mess and I’m so sorry about every single bit of it. I agree with @Andrewgen_Receptors and @SkyzykS, no advice and no “right” path forward, but for what it’s worth I’m glad you’re making the choices you’re making. My moral compass says you’re going in the right direction. Your son is one of the two older boys? What does he think?
I don’t think I’ve ever talked in any of these threads about “other men’s kids” about my husband and my kids. I LOVE the influence he’s had on them, and I know 2/4 are closer to him than their own father. My oldest was in school across the country when we met and has lived far away since, so theirs is a polite, friendly relationship, but the younger three adore him. And I don’t use that word lightly. He’s fixed one son’s flooded kitchen, set another up with water when he moved into a cabin without a bathroom (short walk away), helped my daughter buy a car, inspected houses they were looking at, shown them how to do innumerable things, and just loved and been steady for them as well as goofy and fun, which their father is not.
One of my sons attended his EX-girlfriend’s college graduation, and afterward we were to meet up with him. She was with him because her parents had better things to do after lunch with her and she had no place to go, all dressed up for this big day. So we spent like one million dollars on cocktails and then a fancy dinner and then more cocktails. It’s just what you do. (Not to say this was heroic, it wasn’t, just…you do what you can for kids.)
These threads become so black and white, but I find life mostly gray.
I’m GLAD I left my marriage, though I’m also glad I had time home with my kids, for their sakes and mine. I’m GLAD I have a stepdaughter and through her the world’s best granddaughter. I’m GLAD my kids have a good-natured man in their lives to model after, along with their father, whose work ethic is stellar but whose temperament is terrible.
Also, one of the people I loved most in the world until her death (well, and still, I suppose) was my grandmother, who was a step. She was one of my very best friends, and I know she adored me just as much as I did her.
I realize that stepparents are sideways to a child you think is yours, but isn’t, but how really is it different?
Also, I’m sure there’s a general, all-people-everywhere 10% chance that I’ll injure during my next workout, but I trust that I’m smart enough and in-tune enough with my body that my own personal risk is reduced significantly. COULD it happen? Sure. But I trust that it won’t.
My profession has a high assault rate. I like to think that my interpersonal skills, and just base personality, offer a reduction in the odds for me. I also choose not to work on an inpatient psych unit or in an inner city high school, which reduces the risk further.
Kids today (lol) show a high rate of drug addiction. I think my endless parenting of my own kids reduced the likelihood for them. They were loved and parented half to death, but voila, no addicts or teen parents.
This fear of being the 10% of cuckholded men seems way overblown to me. Get to know your prospective partner!
But back to you, @doogie, I want to remind you that now is the time for you to really lean into your fitness. I know you’ve been struggling, and hope starting the job helps. I think in times of profound stress, the best thing to do is siphon some of it off working out.
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No disrespect to doogie or his difficult situation but in the larger context of this thread I find your take interesting. I would be much more concerned about a woman committing a felony, getting caught for it and hiding sentencing from me as we develop a relationship than I would be over the fact she had sex with other people before I met her 
.
I get there was a need, and I’d steal a loaf of bread to feed my daughter if push came to shove, but the deceit is the piece that would concern me.