The duty is to continue being the father that you were the day before you found out.
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If one doesn’t do this, the kid is guaranteed to have massive issues later.
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Yeah. As if the kids world wouldn’t be rocked enough, now the man he looked to as a father wants to skate on him?
Nah. That doesn’t pass muster. Thats when a kid needs solid, stable guidance The Most. Not dropped like deuce.
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Would you settle for continuing to father the way you have been, but ditching the kid’s lying whore of a mother?
I dunno. There would have to be some serious discussion. Thats also where a long exclusive (ideally) courtship comes into play.
Granted-this is speculation. I married a woman that values fidelity tremendously.
I did have a close call at around 18-19 with a girl. She told me she was pregnant after we’d done it a few times, but I had some serious doubts.
The kid came out with red hair & blue eyes, weighing like 12+ lbs. at birth.
Strongly resembling and later proven to belong to the guy next door to her, who was like 6’5", red hair, blue eyes.
I think that’s what I would do, dump the woman immediately and raise the kid as my own. As I said, a man can have reasonable trepidation because of the sexual patterns of a woman, helping to avoid such a situation. But if this massive blunder were to happen to me, I wouldn’t be able to bring myself to abandon a child I was already raising. I just couldn’t do it.
I agree with @SkyzykS. First the kid would be screwed over by his cheating mother and his deadbeat father. Then he’d be cheated over by the other adult in his life. That would create one broken person who could’ve had a at least one loving and responsible adult in his life.
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There is a legal responsibility regardless. But as far as moral responsibility:
Yeah, there is a lot more at stake than pride in these situations.
My pride has been lumped up a few times. I’m sure it can take some pretty solid blows.
But a younger kid? Thats guaranteed to cause serious pain and confusion. Not something the world or a kid needs any more of.
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Right! Also, I believe there are some things in life that one should not attempt to get out of because of burden, mistake, inconvenience, or even mishap.
My wife and I were 100% ready to adopt my brother’s kid that was aborted. People asked me, “You want to take that on? You have two kids. I can see if you have a third of your own, but that situation might be difficult,” or something like that. I would respond, “Where does it say or who said my life should be easy? This is family.” Same went for when my wife repeatedly told my mom we could take in my aging grandma. Eventually she went to a nursing home, but we were willing to do it.
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Yeah, also, the kid would love the husband as his dad! I couldn’t turn my back on a kid who felt that for me, even if not related.
No, you’re trying to make it about a pattern of behavior, defined by misapplied studies, as a projection of legitimate poor behavior on to sex itself and I’m not interested.
If you want to talk about not paying credit card bills or whatever as a fetish being a problem, start a thread. I would imagine the conversation has potential to be pretty interesting.
So are you asking if it’s a problem that women cheat, get pregnant and pass the baby off as the husbands?
I definitely did not gather that from your op.
Lots of people need lots of things. Need does not inherently create duty.
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So many twists….
Regarding “body count”, at what point does a woman’s count mean she’s going to sneak an illegitimate child in to a relationship?
And before “it’s subjective”, the question isn’t. A ‘count’ of something is literally a quantifiable record of an amount; “to determine the total number of a collection of items”.
Is it possible that a woman, or man, can have casual sex while single and have the ability to commit to a loving, monogamous relationship? (Hint: it is).
Is there a specific number or a range of partner numbers where this is a void concept?
Is it at all possible the Jordan Peterson and similar influencer line of thinking often pushes heavy correlations incorrectly tying actual problematic behavior to an otherwise benign activity, incorrectly defining it with the correlating behavior?
I think you are now basically asking a question of correlation vs causation. Does promiscuity while single condition a woman to be more likely to cheat while in a committed relationship? Or do the personality traits that make a woman more likely to be promiscuous while single also make her more likely to cheat while in a committed relationship?
It’s not possible to answer this question empirically with any type of study that would be anything resembling ethical. The real question is, does it matter? The correlation exists. Whether it is causal is not that important because it is nonetheless predictive.
Whether it matters or not in general is not a super useful question. The specific question is whether or not it matters in this particular case.
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You’re alluding to subjectivity in application. Fine, but the real question in this particular sub-context is whether or not illegitimately passing offspring off as the male partners is ok or not. I agree that it’s not.
This is shifting responsibility from deceit to sex and is poor logic in the greater context of the original post.
It’s a fair distinction in theory that there is difference between promiscuity and duplicity. But it’s uncommon for a woman to cheat and not lie about it so in practice the two are the same. Unless an open relationship is where you’re going with this, promiscuous women in committed relationships are also duplicitous.
Of course, a woman who wants to be openly promiscuous might easily do so by simply not committing. But such an “honest” woman is not on the relationship market anyways.
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Ok so no, you don’t believe a woman is able to enjoy casual sex while single and have an ability to commit to a monogamous relationship should she prefer.
It’s not a question of what I believe. A large manner of things are possible and a woman can do a great many things. Statistics tells us what is more or less likely. Everyone thinks he is the exception (and some people indeed are). But most people aren’t.
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No one knows.
Yes.
No.
So whether it matters or not is up to an individual man and what characteristics he wants or doesn’t want in a woman.
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