You don’t think they really believe that getting what’s left of some woman who’s been screwed and left by every other guy around is a big win in the Battle Royale For Female Companionship?
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I am pretty sure he is being sarcastic about this
no. I’m aromantic. I do not understand in love, especially unconditional love. I’ve been in 1 relationship and we both agreed that it would be transactional. He served his purpose and I ended the contract.
I have “liked” other guys before, but it was because they had good qualities (e.g., good at maths, hard working), not because there was some emotional or physical connection
With that said, I found it very frustrating and hypocritical when my parents (and others) would say “marriage is beautiful” or “having kids is the best thing that’s ever happened” to me on the one hand, but also experiencing/complaining about the difficulties to others. Actions/demonstrated experiences did not match the words. Perhaps they truly believe it themselves, but after examining the evidence, the costs are too high for me.
I would have appreciated it if people were more upfront when I asked
It’s all in the framing though. The same line of questions could be reversed to ask why a man feels he isn’t good enough if he isn’t first, and why he’s uncomfortable being the one to entice her away from “the line”. I’m not a psychologist, but I’m willing to bet a need to control and manipulate perception has very deeply seated roots in inadequacy and insecurity.
I can absolutely say I hope my daughter doesn’t get stuck with a guy who lacks internal confidence and masks it with a moral code he can’t really define.
These things have research showing they are related to marriage outcomes. Women that report being happy about their sex lives with their husbands are far less likely to think about cheating or divorcing compared to women who are dissatisfied about their husband’s performance in bed. IIRC, it is like a 3X multiplier on average for women to consider cheating if they are dissatisfied with their husband in bed.
The research doesn’t show this to be true for men (why you may not have thought about it?). Men being satisfied with their wife’s sexual performance has little impact on their desire to cheat or divorce.
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To what end? Usually sarcasm means you believe the opposite and he has given no reasons for us to think that’s the case.
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It’s because we’re on the other side of the fence and we know, from what we’re told by the women you’re waiting in line for, what you won’t admit out loud. And it’s annoying to have disingenuous conversations. This entire thread could be summarized as “I’m scared I’m not the best she’s ever has so she is a horrible person, right?!?!” It’s very gay.
Regarding morality and hedonism, by all means, answer the question. How many is too many, and why? Dive in to it and help the conversation move away from blatantly projected insecurity.
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I assume you train or exercise to some extent, since you’re on this site. That is difficult. A grinding PR is difficult. You basically doubt the elation of a successful PR attempt, without ever having trained.
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It is more than that and speaks to larger issues. Similar to boys and the meaning crisis.
How much time are kids, teens, young adults really spending time with their parents? From the age of 5 they are sent off to school.
Kids are much more influenced by their friends/peers than their parents and we know the negative effects social media has on developing brains. It has been shown that social media negatively effects females more.
When society, media, etc. is constantly pushing promiscuity/casual sex, sexual freedom/exploration. When filters are setting unrealistic aesthetic expectations on females, and porn in available 24/7.
How much of that “pleasure seeking” was really their choice?
I see. I’ve always been in the simple mindset of, “OK, we’re both gonna have fun and feel good.”
I’ll likely check that video you posted tonight or tomorrow.
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I’ve brought it up, but I think I have a different take, and I am not defending promiscuity. I think there is insecurity felt by men in a situation in which they are considering or are in a marriage with a woman with a high body count. The thing is that in some cases that insecurity is justified. In some cases it isn’t. You can tell by behavior if it is justified IMO.
I also don’t think a man being insecure about something like this is something people should mock. If he acts like a douche or treats a woman badly just because of a high body count, that can be mocked IMO.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on it!
Men almost always have fun and feel good. Women are more fickle generally about sex. Some men (probably a decent percent) are also just selfish lovers. The acts (actual sex) that feel good for men are often “meh” for women. Some men don’t prioritize the acts that women tend to like the best.
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I continue lifting because I know there are benefits and those benefits are very tangible and large,despite the effort
I go for PRs because I am unhealthily attached to the outcome. I am very transparent about how difficult it is more me mentally and don’t advocate for it.
The elation of a PR attempt, for me, comes from seeing that hard work has paid off. I get the same feeling when I pass a difficult exam, come up with a cool research idea or execute a complex dish
This is kind of effort → payoff experience is difficult, if not impossible, to achieve in relationships or with childrearing.
I can tell you from personal experience that being a parent is incredibly fulfilling, but not without challenges. It’s not for everyone, however. There is an innate drive for people to replicate what they’ve experienced and been taught. People legitimately buy in to what they believe to the extent they have to project it on others.
This manifests in many ways, from unquestioned belief in contemporary norms and mores to age old wars over whether God should be referred to as Yahweh or Allah.
There’s nothing wrong with not being a parent if you know it isn’t for you, and sex is broader than reproduction (which could be another interesting can of worms to discuss).
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Why would one WANT to entice her away from the line? Everyone in the line is getting it without commitment.
Is it possible guys who don’t want to marry a pin cushion have higher confidence than those who claim they don’t mind that? Maybe those who claim to want the pin cushion are not confident in their ability to pick up women who aren’t willing to take anything that will make a commitment.
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You’re making that up. I’m sure you’re having this discussion with these women. So these women who we are supposedly waiting for are telling you what we are thinking? Did you think before you posted that?
Here’s the problem for you, I and others are married. If I’m judging promiscuous behavior it’s not from the perspective of someone who is part of the marketplace.
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I do not believe one crowd is necessarily more confident than the other, but I do believe that if you’re attracted to a woman, find her personality top notch, feel that you have a match and can’t commit to dating because she’s had sex before, the problem is legitimately your confidence level and not her sexual history.
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……not sure if serious.
If the universe started with a bang, do you believe it is more likely to be Yahweh or Allah?
You’re moving the goalposts.
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no, I’m serious.
what is the equivalent of hitting a PR after a tough 3 month training cycle or finally breaking a years long plateau for relationship or childrearing?
I guess you can say “getting child into x school” or “child accomplishes this” but that is horrible for the child.
There is also so much more risk with children and relationships. you don’t know if there will be complications, if the child has neuro-diversity, …
I am married now. I’ve been a very promiscuous guy. A real slut. Had lots of fun, saw the good, bad and ugly of a hedonistic lifestyle and learned quite a bit along the way. I turned out fine, had great times and employ a lot of what I learned with my wife where she enjoys it too so it’s a gift that keeps giving vs detracting, FTR.
It’s always the same story. Some men can handle a woman’s sexual history, some can’t. They may give you fanciful reasons why, but unless they’re truly and legitimately religious it’s all projected bullshit masking low confidence.