It is about guiding his daughter to find a partner and modeling healthy relationship behavior. He did not say she must marry, he sees it is his job to demonstrate how she should be treated by a man. This is valuable regardless of her romantic preferences or desire for marriage. Even if she identifies as aromantic or prefers not to settle down, the goal is to empower her to make informed decisions and build healthy relationships.
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Why do you define a persons value by the amount of partners they have had sex with? Why is sex a “broken” thing to participate in for you?
I understand your angle is slim to no partners is best, but I’m curious to peel the onion back a little bit around why.
Legally speaking, getting married is about the worst thing two people can do without being charged with a crime.
I don’t think enough dads consider this question. I had to sit down and really think about for my son and both my daughters. Marriage as an imperative is an antiquated notion. And given the current state of things and how I foresee the level of crap and entropy continuing to make it worse, choosing to hitch one’s life to another may be a recipe for disaster.
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I read through this thread and understand why society is so healthy.
“Why not just do what feels good in the moment?” “Why try to prevent your kids from just doing what feels good in the moment?” “What’s wrong with being the guy holding the flowers at the back of the line? He’s just really secure-look at him waiting patiently while everyone else has a turn…he obviously knows he’s valuable and won’t just be the dumbass waiting in line when everyone else is bored with her.”
@Andrewgen_Receptors @zecarlo @RT_Nomad and maybe one or two others(edit: sorry, @BrickHead, AND @jshaving forgot that you’d commented farther up!) excepted
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This kind of mindset is problematic. The idea that anything old is seen as old fashioned, out of date, irrelevant, etc., and anything new must, by virtue of being new, be better does not hold up when we look at reality. Schools believe they have the answers when it comes to managing student behaviors because the “old” ways were harmful and left kids feeling invalidated or whatever. Then you look at reality and see that kids know less, are less able to think critically, are unable to cope, are shooting up schools, are committing suicide at higher rates than the past, etc., and think maybe not everything they did in the past was bad.
Look at marriage; when black people married at rates that rivaled whites, incarceration rates were lower, there was less poverty and reliance on the state to subsidize one’s existence. As illegitimacy rose in black communities so did a whole litany of bad outcomes. And single motherhood being the single best predictor of a child’s increased odds of committing suicide, being a criminal, suffering from mental or emotional illness, various addictions, etc., applies to all races.
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You mean this isn’t healthy?
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Zher knows zhits truth.
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Really? I can think of several people in my own life, men and women, who slept with tons of people, largely because, despite being sexually attractive, they were insecure and had low self esteem, and needed the validation that came with notches on the bed post.
If you choose to not sleep with many people, you automatically have low self esteem?
Again, this is where a lot of people take issue. You say we should act honorably, but also that what we do is up to us. Everyone chooses to live differently and makes different choices, so who decides what’s honorable? Someone could think honor comes from getting what you want no matter what and use that to justify rape. That would be horrible, obviously, but it’s a possibility in a world where you say, simply, “Do what makes you happy. You decide what’s right for you, and don’t let anyone else try to impose their rules on you.”
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Women with a mental disorder are more sexually active than their male counterparts, and characteristics of antisocial personality disorder (ASPD) and borderline personality disorder (BPD) are a predictor for risky sexual behavior for women but not men, according to a study published in Behavioral Medicine.
https://www.clinicaladvisor.com/home/topics/hiv-aids-information-center/sexually-risky-behavior-more-common-in-women-with-mental-disorders-than-in-men/
Increasing numbers of sex partners were associated with increasing risk of substance dependence disorder at all three ages. The association was stronger for women and remained after adjusting for prior disorder.
For example, another large U.S. study found that people engaging in casual sex reported decreased well-being, self-esteem, and life satisfaction, as well as increased psychological distress and depression symptoms. Interestingly, this study found no difference between men and women, though other research indicates that men are more likely to report that casual sex is a positive emotional experience than women.
Then we have a Wiki page on it:
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Weird…it’s almost like the people in charge knew that and encouraged it in order to harm blacks…and now are encouraging everyone else to do it.
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The more I listen to people who were alive before these changes took place, the more I am starting to believe the results were by design. Not to go off topic, but school desegregation resulted in black kids performing worse academically. Prior to desegregation there were thousands of all black schools in the South that produced well educated and competent students. Just Google Rosenwald School.
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Thanks. Some of us have mentioned some serious things here:
Our own conduct and judgment of the conduct of others, specifically a potential spouse.
Protecting daughters from abuse.
Concern for the care of future grandchildren.
What sort of people typically divorce.
Social pathologies resulting from licentiousness.
I consider all this quite serious, far more serious than emotions, penis size, and performance in the sack. I have never even pondered the idea of men thinking about outperforming women’s past partner or being insecure about not doing so until this thread. It has never even dawned on me that men would think about this. I’ve also never even thought of sex as a high-skill act; hence I’ve never been nervous about it. Being nervous about something fun? No thanks.
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I like the idea that daughters should be raised to be available, young pieces-of-ass for middle-aged divorcees to play with. That’s not at all weird.
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That’s ridiculous. I think we both know dark skin makes one incapable of succeeding without the assistance of the White Man.(/s)
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no one is advocating for this.
My point is that women (and men) should have full information and decide for themselves.
Full information includes
- the difficulty of marriage and motherhood/fatherhood
- the consequences of impulsive decision making (including the risks of casual sex)
- What is acceptable/unacceptable treatment and how to set boundaries
I genuinely think a lot of parents don’t communicate enough about how difficult relationships/ parenthood are → romanticise the experiences → skewed view
There is more transparency with people sharing experience on social media, but… again… unreliable sources…
I have often observed this behavior. My initial take was that those women don’t have any grasp of an independent thought to chose a man for a relationship. As I gave this considerable thought through the years, I have come to the conclusion is that a man in a relationship with a woman has a “certification” as valid relationship material. That is, he checks enough boxes to be considered for dating.
Because of the required “certification”, it is possible that they were attracted to many men that they have encountered. Yet, the “uncertified” man had too many unknowns to be a valid candidate for dating.
I had not read many comments that followed your comment, so I could be repeating someone’s comment previous to mine.
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this maps on to some consumer choice models.
actually, something like this might be an interesting extension of my friend’s model 
Right.
Also:
Right, right. Are you aromantic, or the victim of difficult relationships?
One being, he might not even be a man. Literally or metaphorically.
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Note that the ones who keep bringing that up are also the ones defending promiscuity. I think it’s projecting. I also think it shows their inability to grasp issues about morality, mental and emotional health, substance abuse, self esteem, etc. It’s a hedonistic mindset.
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