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Do you think the common american male does any or all of these things?
I understand your experience with respect to the people in these communities, and why they are less likely to act like a Nice Guy. There’s heavy overlap between these hobbies/activities and the personality you’d find in their participants.
Most young Americans live in or near cities. These things simply are not as common nor as regularly attended in these areas as they are in small towns (i desperately wish for a resurgence in small towns).
You and i agree 100% here. It’s not that respect=superior, it’s that kids often misplace that respect as the individual being superior.
I can’t remember being taught “respect men”, but i can recall hearing “respect women” and “respect everyone”.
A non-zero portion of young boys hear “respect” to think “defer to”. Hence the examples i listed.
Withdrawing attention from behavior is a primary tool in parenting. At least, in my form or parenting.
- Ill never hit/spank my daughter.
- Id get physical with any sons i needed to.
But giving attention (good or bad) to a kid whose acting out is how you end up with the screaming Walmart kids.
Attention is the currency - good or bad.
I think men and women test men (specifically) in different ways to see how they think of themselves.
Women use shit tests to see if a man is respectable/capable of leading.
Men rib one another with mild insults to see if he’s able to perform under pressure.
I believe both of these are forms of a test to see if a man is respectable.
This also leads into how i view respect between men and women differently.
@Brant_Drake
Men respect other men who are able to perform under pressure (hence shit talking and hazing of new guys in the workplace).
Women respect men who can handle their emotions when tested.
*ill note that i dont view respect as binary:
- Respect
- Neither respect nor disrespect
- Disrespect
I think that option 2 is best used until option 1 or 3 are earned.
Do you respect him, or is it neither respectful nor disrespectful?
Id also say that respecting someone is not the same as being respectful of someone. I act respectful to people all the time, but it doesn’t mean i actually respect them.
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Would you want a husband who is objectively worse than you?
Women in general are hypergamous. It’s a feature, not a bug.
If a woman wants a man who is better than her - why would he not lead?
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No, but
- I don’t want any of my friends to be worse than me in most areas, regardless of gender. They have to be better than me in at least one area that is important
- I don’t want to have someone better than me at everything that matters. My friend (that one) was head and shoulders above me in everything important and I found that very difficult
- I don’t want to be led by a man and in general, I don’t think women should be encouraged to be followers if they don’t want to be
You sound like you compete with your friends.
Women have been led by men for millenia.
In the 60 years since that’s been done away with - we’ve only moved closer to societal collapse.
Neither women nor men have to follow anyone. And no one should be following someone who isn’t worthy of being followed.
It has nothing to do with the leader being a man, and everything to do with willful deference to a man whom this woman already deemed better than her (because women are hypergamous).
If the dude isn’t worthy of being followed, dont give him a baby and dont promise a life together. No successful ship sails with two captains.
Men are welcome to follow a woman. Many have tried and seen how well that worked out (for everyone).
Swore I was going to shut my yap, but I can’t.
I would encourage you to rethink this. If you need to get physical with your kid, you failed. Getting physical is not going to fix your failure.
Not true. There are several matriarchal societies currently. Even if your premise is correct - how is that going?
This is a stretch. Women are more likely to be hypergamous than men, but are not hypergamous across the board.
I always find it humorous for those that have not procreated to espouse on the best ways to raise progeny.
Again, several matriarchal societies doing well - Western patriarchy, not so much.
Who is this comment aimed at?
I really dislike having these conversations with you in particular as you conflate arguments and misrepresent positions on a near constant basis, eventually leading to a tantrum that ends up in someone’s training log.
Frankly, i don’t care enough to debate it (with you).
I don’t mean this to be disrespectful, I’m just not going to discuss it when I’ve already experienced the above on numerous threads.
If you disagree with my opinions and positions, thats okay 
All good. No need to get into it on Dani’s log.
It was directed at you.
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I think you are misinformed 
Thanks for the update - I missed the fact that you had procreated.
Interesting log - just a cursory glance, but I will look through it.
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I do actually, but could be wrong.
They’re kind, but I wouldn’t say that they’re submissive to women the way you described the Nice Guy above.
But you know what? I have no idea how they feel on a day to day basis. (It would be weird if I did.) So, maybe some of them are the Nice Guy who feels compelled to defer to women. That’s not the impression they give off. I think married men joke about deferring to their wives but can’t say for sure what their marriages are actually like.
Do you? I have experienced pros and cons, but small towns can be dramatically different depending on the culture.
Okay that makes sense. I think adults do this too with medical professionals in particular. But that’s a whole other conversation.
I could see this being reasonable for women who are in a position of authority like a teacher or aunt. But I’ve never been aware of males of any age being taught that females are always the rightful decision makers. That seems bonkers to me.
Ok. I’m not a parent, and any thought or opinion I could possibly have would spark outrage.
I think all people test all other people constantly without knowing it. It’s just human nature. Small talk for instance is a test to see if you’re someone with whom I could have a deeper conversation. If you come off as cold, aloof, and judgy, then we probably won’t be sharing insights or discussing personal topics.
This makes sense.
I tend to agree with you, but honestly had never thought about it till now.
What’s funny is I actually had to look up the word “respect” this morning because you got my wheels turning. The first definition I saw was “deep admiration” so you’re definitely onto something. I don’t have deep admiration for any random person, homeless or not.
I’ve always thought of respect as just kindness or valuing a person’s humanity. So if I’m respectful toward someone, I’m just aware that they’re human too and deserve consideration, like the homeless man.
But never once have I equated respect with deference or submission. It’s weird though, the definition of respect changes depending on which dictionary you use, but just based on context clues, I’m willing to bet a lot of people have the same or similar definition in mind as I do.
Good point. I get what you mean. But had to laugh when I looked up respectful. Dictionaries apparently can’t define a word without using its root.
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That sounds like who I married.
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Full-ish Body Minus Some Things
No chest or biceps because I hit them pretty hard on Monday.
Hip Thrust: 4x10, with burn out partials at the top
Leg Press: longer ramp up, 3x8
Superset:
T Bar Row: 3x10
Band External Rotation: 3xfailure
Straight Arm Pulldown: 3xfailure
Training Tweaks, Triceps, and Trigger Guards
I love minor adjustments that emphasize different musculature. So for instance, with the straight-arm pulldown if you want to hit the lats, angle your elbows more out to the sides. If you want to hit the triceps, angle them downward toward the ground. Either way you’ll hit a little of both, but I prefer emphasizing the triceps since rows already do the most for my back.
The straight arm pulldown – even with just a band – has probably done more for building muscle/definition in the back of the arm than anything else.
And having visible triceps while doing normal life-stuff is more fun than not.
Speaking of tweaks, check out my grip (above). That’s new. The guy who’s been teaching my classes recently had me wrap the trigger guard with the index finger of my support hand, thus raising that support hand higher up on the slide. This requires a grip of steel (that I don’t always have) to keep that finger from falling off when there’s basically an explosion in your hands. But if I’m gripping hard enough with that new position, my accuracy goes through the roof. It’s like night and day.
Here’s a close up of that grip.
These are not my hands, but you can see how tightly he’s gripping based on the difference of color in his skin on the hands and fingers. That’s crazy tight. And when someone shoots like that, there’s basically zero recoil. The muzzle does not rise. I’m not there yet.
A Lot of Nature Happening at my House
The ficus benjamina is a total disaster. So first, I discovered an infestation of spider mites, which is a massive problem that takes weeks to fully eradicate. So I sprayed it down with the bug killer, gave it a shower, and then put it back.
But you know what happened? It dropped a ton of leaves. And Roxy must’ve eaten one because she threw up in five different places and basically almost died over the weekend. So now I don’t know what to do. If I give the plant away, it’ll poison their pets or spread mites to the other plants. I’m thinking about throwing it in a ditch, and I’m mad at the nursery that sold it to me.
Roxy made a full recovery. The ficus has not. I don’t recommend that plant if you have small children or animals.
And then Chris discovered this in Birdie’s nest:
There’s a second bird who comes and goes too; we call him Burt.
Hike Group
We took our small group on another hike and had a really great connection with everyone. The number has “dwindled” down to about 14-15, but I think that’s the sweet spot. People mixed it up a little more freely and it was easy to bounce from one hiking buddy to another and start brand new conversations. I really love this group. One more hike left of the summer.
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Fellow nail biter??
EDIT: Disregard… not your hands
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You’re definitely top 1% physique wise. It’s so sad how out of shape we are as a people. Solid shooting stance, too. You should consider doing a women’s fitness / shooting course. They tie together quite well.
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Ha! That’s my teacher’s hands. I believe he was ranked top 12 in the world, but yeah it looks like he bites his nails. haha! I have fabulous nails for the record. 
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Thanks for making my day! I’ve never heard of fitness combined with shooting outside of the tactical games, and those people are on a level I could only dream of… both shooting and training wise.
I’ll start doing legit competitions (outside of our range) probably next year. There’s just so much to learn.
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Find your niche. It’s not about being the best. It’s about connecting with people, especially other women, in a way that hasn’t been done yet. They will listen to you because you obviously know what you’re doing regarding training / nutrition and shooting, to a degree.
Women need this training. Figure it out. You got this.
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Thank you for the encouragement! That means a lot.
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I’ve won multiple shooting contests and awards. When I teach I just REALLY hammer on the fundamentals. Sight alignment / picture. Trigger control. Point of aim. Breathing techniques. Apply these consistently = success
As a SWAT sniper we’d control our breathing to the point we’d make the shot between heart beats.
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