Your Drive-by/Thanksgiving Dinner Advice

Bigger Stronger Leaner
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Hey Folks,

These are always my favorite kind of topics. I imagine most of you are “the fit one” among your circle of friends and family, and I’m sure you’ve inevitably run into the situation at family gatherings like Thanksgiving or New Year’s Eve where someone wants to know “the secret”.

“Hey (your name here), I wanna lose these extra 30lbs and get fit again. What do I do?”

I’ve even legit just had complete strangers cold approach me while I’m out with my family at the grocery store or the mall and ask me something similar.

Knowing that this is going to be a short conversation and you’re not going to have the time to go all the way from Genesis to the book of Revelations with them…what do you tell them?

I came up with “Chaos is the Plan” a while back to give away 3 sentences to give someone all the tools they needed to succeed in physical transformation, but I also realize how curt it may seem.

At this point, I feel like I have a pretty strong handle on what I would tell someone as far as nutrition goes. “Prioritize single ingredient foods. That means, if it has a food label, it just says one thing. “Beef”, “eggs”, “potatoes”, etc. Drink only water, but allow for unsweetened coffee or tea. Don’t eat if you’re not hungry.” I feel like that simple intervention alone would have a huge payoff for just about anyone. But honestly, I’m at a loss for what the driveby fitness advice would be.

What do you tell people?

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Good topic. Honestly, I’ve stopped giving advice to non-training people. Too many people who weren’t genuine and were never going to take action with anything I said. Even the most basic stuff - “well have you been walking every morning like I said to?” " … no".

I just tell them the truth - “there are no secrets, you just have to work really hard for a long time”. That’s a foreign concept to most and it shuts the conversation down pretty fast.

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Oh man, I’m glad you brought up walking! I feel like hitting them with the Stan Efferding “Walk for 10 minutes after every meal” would pair well there.

And I hear ya: the juice isn’t worth the squeeze, which is also why I feel like it’s nice to have something ready to fire and forget in these situations. You don’t invest any of your real time or effort into it, BUT, in the off chance that they DO take you up on it, maybe some good comes from it.

Dan John has a great bit. He requires them to drink 3 glasses of water a day. That’s the first week of “the program”. A week later, he calls and checks in on them. He comments that the phone seems to ring EXTRA long, as though they’re rushing to get that third glass of water down before they pick up. But seriously, if you can’t even manage 3 glasses of water a day, you won’t stick with anything else that will actually benefit you. It’s a great “barrier to entry”

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“ Put the fork down”

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Fun topic!

When I first read the title I thought “avoid the former/ destroy the latter”.

I feel like the classic “eat less, move more” applies pretty ubiquitously.

In real life, I tend to fall back on the same tactic I use with work, kids, etc.: “well, what are you doing now?” It’s not always super helpful in the moment, but I do feel like it puts the ownership where it belongs and sets a “just start” mentality.

I’m also a big fan of graduated approaches, so I think it’s important to understand where we are today. Just like in your above examples, they aren’t going to go to a single-ingredient diet or 3 hard weight training + conditioning sessions a week as a result of our 30-second chat… but maybe they can eat one less slice of pizza (I really liked the “don’t eat if not hungry”) or start taking a walk a couple times a day. Then, as we know, momentum begets momentum.

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I feel like the classic “eat less, move more” applies pretty ubiquitously.

The longer I’m on this timeline, the less I like this, and the more I like “eat more/move more”. G-Flux, ala Berardi. I notice too many people get all “New Year’s Resolution” and decide to do ALL the things at once. “I’m going to slash calories, lift 6 days per week and start each morning with an hour of fasted cardio”, and within 2 weeks they’re a broken, burnt out husk that rebounds even harder. And because they lost primarily lean mass, what they put back on is fat, creating an even worse body composition. Instead, “eat MORE, move more”. Prioritize increasing activity while ramping up food intake, BUT, with a pivot away from processed junk to whole foods. If we can get them to achieve Dr. Naiman’s idea of 30% of calories coming from protein, even if it means eating more total calories, I feel like the result will be pretty awesome.

In real life, I tend to fall back on the same tactic I use with work, kids, etc.: “well, what are you doing now?” It’s not always super helpful in the moment, but I do feel like it puts the ownership where it belongs and sets a “just start” mentality.

Love it. And it helps with the analysis paralysis. “If you’re currently doing nothing, doing ANYTHING will be an improvement”

Then, as we know, momentum begets momentum

Yup. And results help there too. It’s part of why I like carb restriction: the immediate drop in scale weight. But then people also get false expectations. “I lost 5lbs in the first week, so by week 6 I’ll be down 30lbs!” …not quite.

“Don’t eat when not hungry” is really mindblowing to a lot of people. Watch it when people bring in the office donuts. I turn them down, and people ask why and I say “I’m not hungry” and just get the deer in the headlights look. So many folks don’t even realize how often they’re eating when they’re not actually hungry.

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I totally get you, and think you’re practically correct, but something still nags at me when talking to the deer in headlights/ baseline 0 population I think we have in our scenario here. I’m going to have to consider a little bit and come back.

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I usually say something like “Just cut out the stuff you already know is crap.”

It usually ends the conversation pretty quickly.

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I do love that. But I also know how well we can trick ourselves when it comes to this stuff. “Cheerios are good for my heart right?” I still remembering housing these thinking they were good for me

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I’ve given up trying to tell people who are out of shape anything.
Quick example
Been home from work tsking care of my Wife after her surgery. The mother in law stops by with a whole sheet pan of frosted carrot cake.
Me: Do you really think we are going to eat all that?
Her: It’s healthy, i reduced the sugar.
Me: Facepalm

The MIL wonder why she is completely out of shape. This is what she considers healthy eating. Then she proceeds to lecture my wife about eating protien. The only protien my MIL eats is when it’s deep fried.

Sorry, i’m venting more than helping.

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Her: It’s healthy, i reduced the sugar.
Me: Facepalm

Hah! That is a classic. Surprised they didn’t bring up the carrots.

Then she proceeds to lecture my wife about eating protein.

This is so weird! I keep seeing it too. Specifically with breakfast. People will SLAM Captain Crunch and bagels, and when you suggest to remove the bagel and go from 2 eggs to 3 they’ll say “isn’t that too much protein?”

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My MIL eats almost none. Her Dr told her she needs to eat more or drink shakes. She does neither. I’ve purchased shakes and powder for her and had her taste it to see if she likes it. She says it’s good. Six months later I look in the pantry and what do I see? The shakes and the powder untouched. But she knows what’s best!!!

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My grandma was like that. The only meat she ate was hot dogs and cheap delimeat. Wonder if that’s a little bit of the Depression still showing through.

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This reminded me of the Colon Blow ad from SNL. “Haven’t you heard? Fiber is good for you.”

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I’d go with- lift something everyday, even if it only takes 5 minutes.

It’s basically Easy Strength. It works every time I try it. I got my wife doing a single KB version of it stripped down to its barest of essentials- daily work with light weight and just 10 seconds of hanging. She’s already spending lots of time on her feet and is doing loaded carries just by carrying him around. I just need her to lift something overhead to build muscles that she never had to use.

I hope she is my first successful convert at getting someone to lift.

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I’m a big fan of meeting an audience where it’s at and most people seeking fitness advice require zero specialized tips, so advice is typically to understand tdee and cut 3-500 calories either by dietary reduction or via increased activity. Ideally both.

Works universally.

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I had this with my suggestion of “Take something off the floor and put it overhead”. Resistance training is huge, and if we can get people to go from curls to something a little more substantial, even better.

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If the person shows serious interest, this is my rough plan I give them. It’s a pretty simple “move to the next step when you’re comfortable with the one you’re working on.”

1.) Cut out all obvious crap (fast food, booze, junk food.)
2.) Only drink zero-calorie beverages.
3.) Eat a protein, healthy fat, and fruit or vegetable with every meal.
4.) Start working out, if you aren’t already.
5.) Start tracking macros.
6.) Get one gram protein per lb.
7.) Get carbs to around 100 g.
8.) Add peri/post workout nutrition.
9.) Add supplements.
10.) Start random arguments on the T-Nation forums to continue your education.

Most non-gym going people are pretty happy after step 3.

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I really dig that. That’s a solid progression plan. You decide how hardcore you want to be.

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Yup. Also some people dont workout, so I save the steps after 3 for people who do. And keeping supplements until the end gets rid of the “magic pill” mental trap.

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