Creating a Bodybuilding Textbook

Training Bodybuilding
81

[quote]Bricknyce wrote:

[quote]BBriere wrote:

[quote]Cephalic_Carnage wrote:
I think I’ll write a super anti-bodybuilding, anti-hypertrophy, but-still-kind-of-hypertrophy program for the book…

It goes against the grain… And then it goes against the grain AGAIN… By using a split routine… It’ll be like this:

Mon - Back (who has the best back? Lumberjacks and rowers obviously so you’ll be doing 45 mins of rowing and 2 hours of sawing trees apart… Long workout times because everyone else says to train for 45 mins tops, and we need to go against the grain here).

Tue - Legs. All sprinting, because sprinters clearly have the best legs.

Wed - Delts and Arms… All gymnast -style training, rings, pull-ups, pushups… Because they have the best delts and arms, right? We’ll do that for 3 hours.

Repeat, but we’ll do Tennis for arms this time, jumping for legs, and kettlebells for the back.

No chest work because that’s for those stupid bodybuilders and besides, I couldn’t think of anyone who doesn’t do any proper- I mean CLEARLY INCORRECT- chest work yet has decent pecs. Damn. Well. Hell, your pecs will get huge from the push-ups and dips you do for arms, so there.

Diet is 0.5 grams of protein per lb of bodyweight, or 1 gram IF YOU TOTALLY WANT TO PUSH THE ENVELOPE AND YOU’RE ON DRUGS ONLY.
Everything you eat must be clean food, so make sure you wash it before you stuff it into your mouth.

Ok, that’s it. Do this and you may even reach your absolute genetic potential as dictated by the Butt equation.

Oh, I forgot, for sets and reps just do 50 singles at 95% of your max on everything. Because that’s better than doing 1 set of 50 reps and it will totally activate all your motor units.

[/quote]

This is all wrong. I only know because I wasted tons of money on books and e-books that told me the right way. Here is the routine to be performed EVERY DAY!!

Climbing rope- this stimulates back, arms, and core!!
Push-ups- once you can do 1000, you may elevate your heels on a telephone book
Ballet dancing- have you ever seen a ballerina with small legs?
Jumping up and down- feel the burn in those calves
Abs- to be avoided at all costs
Sprint till puking x 10
Power yoga

Sets and reps: not even recommended as you will immediately burn out your CNS

Under no circumstances should you EVER, EVER, EVER use a machine especially a leg press. Using machines for weight lifting is the leading cause of death among males age 18-99.

Diet: for fat loss- 1000 calories, for maintenance- 1200 calories, for weight gain- 1400 calories!!!

Break down should be 99% fats, 1% protein, .00001% carbs (I just gained 100 pounds just for typing the word carbs)

[/quote]

Rice bowl for forearms too.

[/quote]

That’s nonsense. Rice is a grain. Grains are evil. Your forearms will shrink because humans are not meant to exercise with grains. For forearms, I recommend 2-3 daily sessions of wacking off. Sets and reps are 20x3 while alternating arms, one arm at a time will cause unnecessary CNS burn out. Lotion and lube use is looked down upon but spit is mandatory as this is traditional paleo fapping.

82

[quote]countingbeans wrote:
lol, Me thinks roy is fucking with you guys.

[/quote]

I was. For the sake of proving a point. I totally expected several members to descend on me like a pack of wild dogs to defend Bonez after that post. Looks like Facebook groups aren’t so harmless after all then.

I’m now suddenly being labelled an idiot and a troll for making a “ridiculous” post, except for the small problem that the reactions were consistent with my post. Genius.

Says more about them than it does about me. Also says a lot about the people that didn’t attack me.

I deliberately set out to make myself public enemy number 1 within the space of a few comments to see how seriously people take this. Seems like the interwebz is serious business…but social netwerking is seriouser.

83

[quote]BONEZ217 wrote:

[quote]bugeishaAD wrote:

[quote]BONEZ217 wrote:

[quote]Nikki9591 wrote:

[quote]BONEZ217 wrote:

[quote]roybot wrote:
So TBD is behind the mysterious intensity t-shirt movement which started on FB and came back here to trouble those unafflicted by social networking?[/quote]

TD has absolutely nothing to do with those t shirts. ZERO

we’re just a few guys who became friends and have the same t shirt.

Trouble? Are we really troubling anyone by wearing a t shirt?

U mad brah?
[/quote]

I’m a bit troubled by you wearing the shirt…

…I’ll be less troubled if you guys took them off.
[/quote]

All of us??

Theres like a dozen of us[/quote]

i think she just wants to see us nakie…[/quote]

We should ask the Leader if we’re allowed to take them off. Dont you think? I mean what if we get in trouble?? [/quote]

A better question would be who told you to put them on in the first place.

84

[quote]Bricknyce wrote:

Rice bowl for forearms too.

[/quote]

Have you actually tried this? If that’s not good for the grip then I don’t know what is…

85

[quote]BONEZ217 wrote:

[quote]roybot wrote:
I wouldn’t touch a Facebook group with a shitty stick, [/quote]

Why are you holding a stick with shit on it? Thats kinda gross. Are you japanese? [/quote]

No. An avid scatologist.

86

[quote]Iconic24 wrote:

[quote]Bricknyce wrote:

[quote]BBriere wrote:

[quote]Cephalic_Carnage wrote:
I think I’ll write a super anti-bodybuilding, anti-hypertrophy, but-still-kind-of-hypertrophy program for the book…

It goes against the grain… And then it goes against the grain AGAIN… By using a split routine… It’ll be like this:

Mon - Back (who has the best back? Lumberjacks and rowers obviously so you’ll be doing 45 mins of rowing and 2 hours of sawing trees apart… Long workout times because everyone else says to train for 45 mins tops, and we need to go against the grain here).

Tue - Legs. All sprinting, because sprinters clearly have the best legs.

Wed - Delts and Arms… All gymnast -style training, rings, pull-ups, pushups… Because they have the best delts and arms, right? We’ll do that for 3 hours.

Repeat, but we’ll do Tennis for arms this time, jumping for legs, and kettlebells for the back.

No chest work because that’s for those stupid bodybuilders and besides, I couldn’t think of anyone who doesn’t do any proper- I mean CLEARLY INCORRECT- chest work yet has decent pecs. Damn. Well. Hell, your pecs will get huge from the push-ups and dips you do for arms, so there.

Diet is 0.5 grams of protein per lb of bodyweight, or 1 gram IF YOU TOTALLY WANT TO PUSH THE ENVELOPE AND YOU’RE ON DRUGS ONLY.
Everything you eat must be clean food, so make sure you wash it before you stuff it into your mouth.

Ok, that’s it. Do this and you may even reach your absolute genetic potential as dictated by the Butt equation.

Oh, I forgot, for sets and reps just do 50 singles at 95% of your max on everything. Because that’s better than doing 1 set of 50 reps and it will totally activate all your motor units.

[/quote]

This is all wrong. I only know because I wasted tons of money on books and e-books that told me the right way. Here is the routine to be performed EVERY DAY!!

Climbing rope- this stimulates back, arms, and core!!
Push-ups- once you can do 1000, you may elevate your heels on a telephone book
Ballet dancing- have you ever seen a ballerina with small legs?
Jumping up and down- feel the burn in those calves
Abs- to be avoided at all costs
Sprint till puking x 10
Power yoga

Sets and reps: not even recommended as you will immediately burn out your CNS

Under no circumstances should you EVER, EVER, EVER use a machine especially a leg press. Using machines for weight lifting is the leading cause of death among males age 18-99.

Diet: for fat loss- 1000 calories, for maintenance- 1200 calories, for weight gain- 1400 calories!!!

Break down should be 99% fats, 1% protein, .00001% carbs (I just gained 100 pounds just for typing the word carbs)

[/quote]

Rice bowl for forearms too.

[/quote]

That’s nonsense. Rice is a grain. Grains are evil. Your forearms will shrink because humans are not meant to exercise with grains. For forearms, I recommend 2-3 daily sessions of wacking off. Sets and reps are 20x3 while alternating arms, one arm at a time will cause unnecessary CNS burn out. Lotion and lube use is looked down upon but spit is mandatory as this is traditional paleo fapping. [/quote]

How could this possibly work? Everybody knows that sailors have the biggest forearms in the world. So I recommend the following: getting an anchor tattoo, having a squinty eye, eating whole cans of spinach, and dating the ugliest girl on the planet.

87

[quote]anonym wrote:
Oh, and I ain’t even mad. Now I get to add ‘The Wave’ to my list of subtitled foreign films that I won’t be watching for the next year or so because I’m too cheap to rent and too inattentive to not browse the Internet while streaming.[/quote]

Aren’t you the guy that warned against social networking sites, but in the end waded in with cheap memes to defend them?

http://tnation.T-Nation.com/free_online_forum/music_movies_girls_life/online_privacy_warning?id=4278259&pageNo=1

You might want to actually watch The Wave before calling me out for the sake of being in with “the cool crowd”. Same goes for Austin Bicep. I like my hypocrites well done. Luckily for u and others I’m not a troll and will never be one (If I were, things might get sticky very quickly). I am, however, an individual thinker.

This thread is starting to become very interesting. I’m not angry at anybody. I’m just trying to fathom how much popularity sways opinion. Clearly from the responses I’ve received, popularity on this site is influenced by status generated on other sites (i.e Facebook). And a t-shirt, apparently.

88

My Two-Cents

Eat
Drink
Sleep
Walk
Run
Jump
Squat
Press
Pull
Row
Repeat

89

roybot, no one thinks you’re a bad guy?

90

[quote]BONEZ217 wrote:

[quote]Nikki9591 wrote:

[quote]BONEZ217 wrote:

[quote]roybot wrote:
So TBD is behind the mysterious intensity t-shirt movement which started on FB and came back here to trouble those unafflicted by social networking?[/quote]

TD has absolutely nothing to do with those t shirts. ZERO

we’re just a few guys who became friends and have the same t shirt.

Trouble? Are we really troubling anyone by wearing a t shirt?

U mad brah?
[/quote]

I’m a bit troubled by you wearing the shirt…

…I’ll be less troubled if you guys took them off.
[/quote]

All of us??

Theres like a dozen of us[/quote]

???

Is that supposed to make me disappoint?

91

[quote]roybot wrote:
A better question would be who told you to put them on in the first place.[/quote]

haha.

YESSSSSS.

[fist pump]

92

[quote]roybot wrote:

[quote]countingbeans wrote:
lol, Me thinks roy is fucking with you guys.

[/quote]

I was. For the sake of proving a point. I totally expected several members to descend on me like a pack of wild dogs to defend Bonez after that post. Looks like Facebook groups aren’t so harmless after all then.

I’m now suddenly being labelled an idiot and a troll for making a “ridiculous” post, except for the small problem that the reactions were consistent with my post. Genius.

Says more about them than it does about me. Also says a lot about the people that didn’t attack me.

I deliberately set out to make myself public enemy number 1 within the space of a few comments to see how seriously people take this. Seems like the interwebz is serious business…but social netwerking is seriouser.[/quote]

I’m not sure what it is you think you are ‘proving’… if you wanted to illustrate that people take offense when you shit on something they are involved in, then excellent catch, Sherlock. If you wanted to showcase friends sticking up for one another when some doucher they don’t know calls them out, then anyone here could have just saved you the trouble by saying it’s a “no shit” revelation of yours. If you feel that any adult actually cares about what people whom they’ve never met do with their wardrobes then maybe a hiatus from this site is in order for you.

If you were suggesting that people on this site are being brainwashed or influenced by any one of them because - what? - they wear the same T-shirt and chat online about lifting weights then you are most likely outta your fucking mind.

I am not a member of the Facebook group and didn’t know several regular members of this forum were part of it until they started flaunting their new threads in their avatars. As far as I am aware, I have hardly ever commented on anything any one of them has ever written on this site and, even aside from this BOI Facebook thing, I don’t participate in quite a few of the ‘inside’ jokes or past times many on this site do to taste the e-camaraderie.

If you really want to make this thread ‘interesting’ then sack up and state exactly what your problem is (who knows, I might even agree with YOU) and name some fucking names. Right now it just seems like you are jelly that you don’t get to be a part of these inside jokes and matching wardrobes so you are insisting to anyone who will listen that the grapes are sour.

93

[quote]roybot wrote:

[quote]anonym wrote:
Oh, and I ain’t even mad. Now I get to add ‘The Wave’ to my list of subtitled foreign films that I won’t be watching for the next year or so because I’m too cheap to rent and too inattentive to not browse the Internet while streaming.[/quote]

Aren’t you the guy that warned against social networking sites, but in the end waded in with cheap memes to defend them?

http://tnation.T-Nation.com/free_online_forum/music_movies_girls_life/online_privacy_warning?id=4278259&pageNo=1[/quote]

If you think my opinions in that thread were meant to demonize social networking sites or if you assume I consider them to be entirely worthless, then you are laughably off the mark.

And, The Wave looks like a movie I would enjoy watching; however, I lack the ability to focus entirely on a movie when watching it on my computer. Because of this, a subtitled movie would be difficult for me to follow as I like to browse the web while listening to shit in the background. Not sure what’s so difficult to grasp about that… I thought I stated my predicament fairly clearly.

94

[quote]anonym wrote:
I’m not sure what it is you think you are ‘proving’… if you wanted to illustrate that people take offense when you shit on something they are involved in, then excellent catch, Sherlock. If you wanted to showcase friends sticking up for one another when some doucher they don’t know calls them out, then anyone here could have just saved you the trouble by saying it’s a “no shit” revelation of yours. If you feel that any adult actually cares about what people whom they’ve never met do with their wardrobes then maybe a hiatus from this site is in order for you.

[/quote]

That may be true, but they certainly all jumped in and gang-fucked Akuma in his prep thread. I really didn’t see any provocation for that.

It’s just that the T-Nation forums are so divisive as it is. Now if there’s going to be a big group hopping on people as a single entity every time there is a difference of opinion, I think that’s just going to help stifle any attempts at decent discourse. I mean, shit - if every time there’s a disagreement people feel like they going to get gang-banged by 10 guys backing each other up - well, I think that will lead to people just not wanting to post much, if at all.

And I have nothing against these guys - in fact, Austin, Bug - are guys I’ve always liked on these boards. I just don’t want to see people picked on with a gang mentality like I saw in Akuma’s thread.

95

[quote]SkyNett wrote:

[quote]anonym wrote:
I’m not sure what it is you think you are ‘proving’… if you wanted to illustrate that people take offense when you shit on something they are involved in, then excellent catch, Sherlock. If you wanted to showcase friends sticking up for one another when some doucher they don’t know calls them out, then anyone here could have just saved you the trouble by saying it’s a “no shit” revelation of yours. If you feel that any adult actually cares about what people whom they’ve never met do with their wardrobes then maybe a hiatus from this site is in order for you.

[/quote]

That may be true, but they certainly all jumped in and gang-fucked Akuma in his prep thread. I really didn’t see any provocation for that.

It’s just that the T-Nation forums are so divisive as it is. Now if there’s going to be a big group hopping on people as a single entity every time there is a difference of opinion, I think that’s just going to help stifle any attempts at decent discourse. I mean, shit - if every time there’s a disagreement people feel like they going to get gang-banged by 10 guys backing each other up - well, I think that will lead to people just not wanting to post much, if at all.

And I have nothing against these guys - in fact, Austin, Bug - are guys I’ve always liked on these boards. I just don’t want to see people picked on with a gang mentality like I saw in Akuma’s thread. [/quote]

I agree and I disagree. The Akuma thread was a little ridiculous with the responses, on both sides. The guys hounded him, but I don’t feel like there was THAT much malicious intent. To be in contest shape in March, from the amount of bodyfat he was carrying, would be damn hard. Being genuinely interested as to whether he can pull it off or not seems like plausible curiosity to me.

I think also that when a person like him puts himself in the light such as he did, with his own thread and numerous other threads he made, he’s going to have a bigger spot light on himself! That’s just the way the cookie crumbles sometimes.

Now… about the gang-bang (lol, funny.) I know for a fact that the guys who “called out” Akuma (whatever you want to call it) are some guys who hold themselves to HIGH standards when it comes to physical fitness. When you say something like you’re doing a bodybuilding show, and then you post progress pics of yourself, fully clothed, with 1/3 of your arm showing… come on now, you’re going to catch some flack.

Not only that, but instead of responding in a mature and well-handled manner, he basically put his fingers in his ears and started stomping on the ground, pouting. - YouTube Believe me or not, I’ve always been an Akuma supporter and hopes he does well, so I actually got to witness the entire thing from a pretty neutral perspective.

That’s my .02. If Professor X (sub in with any other truly notable member) decided to do a show this upcoming June you can bet your ass there’d be three times as many people being critical about it. That’s part of the game - If you can’t handle the heat, get the fudge out of the kitchen. Not sure if this makes any sense when written out.

96

[quote]SSC wrote:
That’s part of the game - If you can’t handle the heat, get the fudge out of the kitchen. Not sure if this makes any sense when written out.[/quote]

Agreed - to an extent. Yes, Akuma’s “progress pics” were ridiculous - and I would tell him that myself. The two bicep pics posted were silly - you can’t even see anything.

But - there is a difference between constructive criticism, and just being a prick. There was definitely some constructive criticism, but there was a lot more nasty shit that I personally feel was uncalled for.

97

[quote]SSC wrote:

That’s my .02. If Professor X (sub in with any other truly notable member) decided to do a show this upcoming June you can bet your ass there’d be three times as many people being critical about it. That’s part of the game - If you can’t handle the heat, get the fudge out of the kitchen. Not sure if this makes any sense when written out.[/quote]

And this is why I would not post my progress at that level on this site in the forums. Why would I put myself through that? They already act like everything I write needs to be analyzed like I’m in court and the bottom line is, the better shape I get in, the more people will simply hate on it. What benefit is it for someone more experienced to get hounded by people who don’t even look like serious weight lifters or who don’t even have pics of themselves up at all?

This isn’t about not being able to take the heat.

It’s like some loud woman claiming a man doesn’t want to be with her because he can’t handle a woman like that…when the truth is, why would he want to?

98

[quote]Professor X wrote:

This isn’t about not being able to take the heat.

It’s like some loud woman claiming a man doesn’t want to be with her because he can’t handle a woman like that…when the truth is, why would he want to?

[/quote]

QFT

99

[quote]Professor X wrote:

And this is why I would not post my progress at that level on this site in the forums. Why would I put myself through that? They already act like everything I write needs to be analyzed like I’m in court and the bottom line is, the better shape I get in, the more people will simply hate on it. What benefit is it for someone more experienced to get hounded by people who don’t even look like serious weight lifters or who don’t even have pics of themselves up at all?

This isn’t about not being able to take the heat.

It’s like some loud woman claiming a man doesn’t want to be with her because he can’t handle a woman like that…when the truth is, why would he want to?

[/quote]

something something call out legs

something something call out back

steroids

what do you know?

something something

liar

100

[quote]Professor X wrote:

[quote]SSC wrote:

That’s my .02. If Professor X (sub in with any other truly notable member) decided to do a show this upcoming June you can bet your ass there’d be three times as many people being critical about it. That’s part of the game - If you can’t handle the heat, get the fudge out of the kitchen. Not sure if this makes any sense when written out.[/quote]

And this is why I would not post my progress at that level on this site in the forums. Why would I put myself through that? They already act like everything I write needs to be analyzed like I’m in court and the bottom line is, the better shape I get in, the more people will simply hate on it. What benefit is it for someone more experienced to get hounded by people who don’t even look like serious weight lifters or who don’t even have pics of themselves up at all?

This isn’t about not being able to take the heat.

It’s like some loud woman claiming a man doesn’t want to be with her because he can’t handle a woman like that…when the truth is, why would he want to?

[/quote]

I’m not totally sure if I’m reading the context of your writing correctly, so forgive me if I’m totally off-basis with my response. You’re right, it’s not about being able to take the heat.

However, when doing a local show you’d better have a damn fine physique to present on stage. So much of what goes into those shows is political, so going in to a show without the best possible physique is setting yourself up for failure. If Akuma is too self-conscious to show pictures of his stomach and whatever else on a (basically) anonymous online forum, it’s going to be 20x tougher for him to do it in person with his friends, family, competitors, and (possibly clueless) judges all watching him.

The original reason I addressed Skynett’s point was because the guys who before DID call him out make progress. A lot of it, consistently.

I hope Akuma all the best, and I’m very curious to see how muscular he really is in contest shape… but I also find it to be kind of a sham the way the events transpired.

Akuma: Doing a show!
Them: Ok, zweet. Pictures?
Akuma: Here’s some wearing a parka!
Them: Not enough.
Akuma: Gawd whatever everyone needs to back off and let me do my thing.
Crickets

Now, less than three months out from the show, he’s no where to be found.