I fucking hate the internet.
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Anyone who has read one of your threads knows this.
It might sound irrational, but that’s totally fine. Stay in the relationship as long as you’re both happy. I know guys that have married their high school sweethearts and are still happily married with kids. I also know guys that had their hearts shattered into a million pieces by their high school sweethearts that are now happily married to someone else they met in their late 20’s. You don’t have to have this all figured out yet.
Because you’re insecure. Which is pretty normal at your age. Shit, I could’t talk to a girl in high school without serious case of sweaty palms. I was terrified to ask my senior prom date if she would go with me - and this was a girl that I had known since kindergarten and had classes with for 12 years (yes, she went to prom with me; no, I did not lose my virginity that night).
Uh, good luck with that.
I’m early 30’s, with a couple of advanced degrees, a very good job, things breaking the right way for me in my career, and I still worry about “the future” almost every day. Am I saving enough to handle things if our house needs a major repair? Will I have enough money to send my kids to college in 20 years? Will I be able to retire at a young enough age to enjoy life? Am I ready to handle family affairs if my parents’ health starts to decline?
This never really goes away, kid. You’ll never remove all doubt about the future. Life gets more scary as you age, not less.
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I was given a great lesson though.
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Been there, done that, and I have a ton of friends that did too. It’s not worth it.
This is a red flag IMO. It’s blatant manipulation. My high school girlfriend, who also went to college a year ahead of me (while we were still together), did the same thing. It drove me fucking crazy, because that’s the point. She wants you to be jealous. Eventually, being hit on or ogled may progress to some guy grabbing her ass/tits, kissing her, etc. She’s testing you, and you’re probably failing, as most of us do because we don’t realize what’s happening.
It doesn’t drive me crazy, it makes me feel good more than anything, girls have tried to hop down on me too. She tells it to me because “she thinks it would be something I would want to know” whatever that means. It makes her pissed off. I just say “damn you must be really hot. I’d take it as a compliment.” She doesn’t manipulate me, but the answer to this question seems to be split. People are saying that it’s worth it and that it’s not. I just don’t know.
She doesn’t chat any guys down or anything, she just puts her headphones in and walks by. Whenever I’m with her, guys still try to break their necks to see us. I don’t see how people staring at her could evolve to people making out with her and her telling each about it. She knows I’ll break up with her over that.
It’s opposite to me.
My ego is what drives me to accomplish things in my life. I want to prove to myself and others that I can accomplish something in my life and that I am worthy as a person.
Second thing that’s pushing me is my pride.
But I’m not blinded by any of it. I’m not too proud to ask for help if I need it.
Or having ego stop me from trying to do something.
Or have ego and pride stop me from quitting something that I can’t accomplish or win.
I rely on tactics. But ego and pride are important parts of who I am. And they are both reasons why I stood up for myself many times in my life. And I’d also probably commit suicide by now if ot wasn’t for those 2 (I had few dark times)…
I would say you are probably just more industrious than others, which is not the same thing as being ego driven.
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Individuals undergo so much change between the ages of 18-28. If you do choose to stay together, do not hold it against someone or be terribly frustrated when their veiwpoibts/outlook/tastes/preferences change.
I got married at 23 to a 31 y/o. Now I’m 28. I can’t explain to you how much I have changed in those 5 years. Early conversations between my then GF and I went like this:
Her “I don’t want to hear in ten years that you didn’t enjoy your twenties, partying”
Me “I don’t want to hear in five years that I act differently”
We both have had to remind each other of that. For example, I went from retail sales to managing tens of millions of dollars in the last 5 years. I am sure as fuck way more direct and don’t sugar coat things. I also am a more confident person and, consequently, talk differently.
You will begin to notice similar things with your girlfriend. While your still sucking on mommy and daddy’s tit, she will be dependent on herself to meet her daily needs. Your life will be completely different and she will evolve rapidly while you maintain your current life. This isn’t a problem… if you are both aware.
Personally, I’d take a ‘pause’ and enjoy my senior year while she enjoys her (college) freshman year. At the end of the year, she’ll of had several boyfriends and a few girlfriends and you’ll of passed AP mandarin.
Whatever it is, I’m just glad that it works.
Still, ego is more of a boost than obstacle to me.
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Yes probnit. you understand. its nice to see a needle among all this hay.
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You are a special kind of bloke.
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Why have ego when you can have self-resentment and inherently self-destructive tendencies?
If you try hard enough, you can NEVER run out of the latter.
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I swear most guys in the iron game use the weights as an outlet to smash psychological problems. Myself included.
I’m partially joking, but I honestly see self-resentment as a far stronger catalyst for change than ego.
I theorize that willpower is a manifestation of the gulf BETWEEN the ideal self and the current self, and that, the larger that gulf, the greater the willpower. Essentially, content people have little drive for change, but discontent people have significant drive. The more one resents their current state, the more driven they are to attempt to change that state, for good or for ill.
Weights, sure, but it can really be anything where one perceives the chasm. Academics, art, musical ability, etc.
yes yes yes yes. he gets it
Did you not read his whole post?
This comment very much disagrees with what you have written prior to this point. This would be the opposite of narcissism.
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Arguing because his ego won’t allow him to be wrong; thus, proving the point in 3…2…1…
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Immense love of oneself, feelings of inadequacy different methods to achieve massive drive. What do they both point to? Mental health disorders.
Those who have strong personality disorder tendencies will on average achieve more than the average joe who’s happy being average.
Why? discontent with the status-quo.
How much formal training do you have on diagnosing mental health disorders?
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