Cheating: How Did You Deal...

Off Topic
61

Damn…a 25 year relationship makes me feel like I was born yesterday

To change the dynamics of the question a little, how would y’all deal if the relationship is going great (everything basically) but you find out they cheated in the past and kept it a secret. Could’ve been once or multiple times, but its in the past and things are great NOW. What would you do? I’m sure there’s someone who has dealt with this

FWIW, and without going into specifics, cheating is pretty much the reason why I have trust issues in relationships. I left in the instances it happened but I didn’t properly deal with what it did to ME.

62

[quote]harrypotter wrote:

[quote]theBeth wrote:

[quote]2busy wrote:

[quote]theBeth wrote:

[quote]2busy wrote:

[quote]theBeth wrote:
…when you found out someone you had been with for at least a year was cheating on you? Has this happened to anyone? How did you deal with the situation? Did you confront them?[/quote]

Did this just happen to you, Beth? :([/quote]

Yup. Same guy who gave me the kimber. we were talking about working things out the last 6 weeks when one of my good buddies advised me yesterday that he’s been seeing some ER nurse for the last 8 months. Fuck. I didn’t sleep at all last night. Separated for good today. He was stuck in the car with me for the hour and a half drive from the Lifeflight event. Perfect timing.[/quote]

That sucks.

[/quote]

What sucks is I wasted 2 years. Other than that I feel relieved that its finally over. I was miserable.

And yes we were exclusive - I’ve suggested alternatives on several occasions like FWB, polyamory, and so forth but he wasn’t interested in anything other than exclusive. And I clarified the FWB versus relationship on more than one occasion. everything but the sex sucked.[/quote]

So once again bad boy traits got the sex, gave you the rush you needed but everything else sucked.

Now you see decent guys who dont treat women like shit who go sexless, see guys like him with women who are attractive and they think; “hmmm, I want a piece of that” and =become some asshole.

So was he a beast in bed by making you friends with ropes and your face part of the furniture? Because from my experience this is what keeps women interested in assholes.[/quote]

Whoa…

63

[quote]Typhoon wrote:

Also learned a valuable lesson: sluts and former cheaters are not to be dated. [/quote]

Yep.

64

[quote]lumbahjack wrote:
Damn…a 25 year relationship makes me feel like I was born yesterday

To change the dynamics of the question a little, how would y’all deal if the relationship is going great (everything basically) but you find out they cheated in the past and kept it a secret. Could’ve been once or multiple times, but its in the past and things are great NOW. What would you do? I’m sure there’s someone who has dealt with this

FWIW, and without going into specifics, cheating is pretty much the reason why I have trust issues in relationships. I left in the instances it happened but I didn’t properly deal with what it did to ME.[/quote]

I would tell her that I forgive her, that I don’t hold anything against her, and that I wish her nothing but the best.

and then leave and never look back.

65

[quote]harrypotter wrote:

[quote]theBeth wrote:

[quote]2busy wrote:

[quote]theBeth wrote:

[quote]2busy wrote:

[quote]theBeth wrote:
…when you found out someone you had been with for at least a year was cheating on you? Has this happened to anyone? How did you deal with the situation? Did you confront them?[/quote]

Did this just happen to you, Beth? :([/quote]

Yup. Same guy who gave me the kimber. we were talking about working things out the last 6 weeks when one of my good buddies advised me yesterday that he’s been seeing some ER nurse for the last 8 months. Fuck. I didn’t sleep at all last night. Separated for good today. He was stuck in the car with me for the hour and a half drive from the Lifeflight event. Perfect timing.[/quote]

That sucks.

[/quote]

What sucks is I wasted 2 years. Other than that I feel relieved that its finally over. I was miserable.

And yes we were exclusive - I’ve suggested alternatives on several occasions like FWB, polyamory, and so forth but he wasn’t interested in anything other than exclusive. And I clarified the FWB versus relationship on more than one occasion. everything but the sex sucked.[/quote]

So once again bad boy traits got the sex, gave you the rush you needed but everything else sucked.

Now you see decent guys who dont treat women like shit who go sexless, see guys like him with women who are attractive and they think; “hmmm, I want a piece of that” and =become some asshole.

So was he a beast in bed by making you friends with ropes and your face part of the furniture? Because from my experience this is what keeps women interested in assholes.[/quote]

Dead on. That’s the only thing that got my attention because he’s not physically attractive and is fairly sociopathic. That being said I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of times I actually had an orgasm with him. In two years.

So it definitely was the rush and the pain.

66

Once a cheater, always a cheater.

67

[quote]theBeth wrote:

[quote]harrypotter wrote:

[quote]theBeth wrote:

[quote]2busy wrote:

[quote]theBeth wrote:

[quote]2busy wrote:

[quote]theBeth wrote:
…when you found out someone you had been with for at least a year was cheating on you? Has this happened to anyone? How did you deal with the situation? Did you confront them?[/quote]

Did this just happen to you, Beth? :([/quote]

Yup. Same guy who gave me the kimber. we were talking about working things out the last 6 weeks when one of my good buddies advised me yesterday that he’s been seeing some ER nurse for the last 8 months. Fuck. I didn’t sleep at all last night. Separated for good today. He was stuck in the car with me for the hour and a half drive from the Lifeflight event. Perfect timing.[/quote]

That sucks.

[/quote]

What sucks is I wasted 2 years. Other than that I feel relieved that its finally over. I was miserable.

And yes we were exclusive - I’ve suggested alternatives on several occasions like FWB, polyamory, and so forth but he wasn’t interested in anything other than exclusive. And I clarified the FWB versus relationship on more than one occasion. everything but the sex sucked.[/quote]

So once again bad boy traits got the sex, gave you the rush you needed but everything else sucked.

Now you see decent guys who dont treat women like shit who go sexless, see guys like him with women who are attractive and they think; “hmmm, I want a piece of that” and =become some asshole.

So was he a beast in bed by making you friends with ropes and your face part of the furniture? Because from my experience this is what keeps women interested in assholes.[/quote]

Dead on. That’s the only thing that got my attention because he’s not physically attractive and is fairly sociopathic. That being said I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of times I actually had an orgasm with him. In two years.

So it definitely was the rush and the pain. [/quote]

wait… isn’t this EXACTLY what I said (more or less)?

and yet… im a misogynist… and waittz isn’t despite his sociopathic tear LOL

you women are strange creatures.

68

[quote]theBeth wrote:

[quote]harrypotter wrote:

[quote]theBeth wrote:

[quote]2busy wrote:

[quote]theBeth wrote:

[quote]2busy wrote:

[quote]theBeth wrote:
…when you found out someone you had been with for at least a year was cheating on you? Has this happened to anyone? How did you deal with the situation? Did you confront them?[/quote]

Did this just happen to you, Beth? :([/quote]

Yup. Same guy who gave me the kimber. we were talking about working things out the last 6 weeks when one of my good buddies advised me yesterday that he’s been seeing some ER nurse for the last 8 months. Fuck. I didn’t sleep at all last night. Separated for good today. He was stuck in the car with me for the hour and a half drive from the Lifeflight event. Perfect timing.[/quote]

That sucks.

[/quote]

What sucks is I wasted 2 years. Other than that I feel relieved that its finally over. I was miserable.

And yes we were exclusive - I’ve suggested alternatives on several occasions like FWB, polyamory, and so forth but he wasn’t interested in anything other than exclusive. And I clarified the FWB versus relationship on more than one occasion. everything but the sex sucked.[/quote]

So once again bad boy traits got the sex, gave you the rush you needed but everything else sucked.

Now you see decent guys who dont treat women like shit who go sexless, see guys like him with women who are attractive and they think; “hmmm, I want a piece of that” and =become some asshole.

So was he a beast in bed by making you friends with ropes and your face part of the furniture? Because from my experience this is what keeps women interested in assholes.[/quote]

Dead on. That’s the only thing that got my attention because he’s not physically attractive and is fairly sociopathic. That being said I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of times I actually had an orgasm with him. In two years.

So it definitely was the rush and the pain. [/quote]

So, does everybody see this as an either/or proposition-> either a sociopathic asshole or a sexless worm?

That seems like a false dichotomy to me.

69

[quote]SkyzykS wrote:

[quote]theBeth wrote:

[quote]harrypotter wrote:

[quote]theBeth wrote:

[quote]2busy wrote:

[quote]theBeth wrote:

[quote]2busy wrote:

[quote]theBeth wrote:
…when you found out someone you had been with for at least a year was cheating on you? Has this happened to anyone? How did you deal with the situation? Did you confront them?[/quote]

Did this just happen to you, Beth? :([/quote]

Yup. Same guy who gave me the kimber. we were talking about working things out the last 6 weeks when one of my good buddies advised me yesterday that he’s been seeing some ER nurse for the last 8 months. Fuck. I didn’t sleep at all last night. Separated for good today. He was stuck in the car with me for the hour and a half drive from the Lifeflight event. Perfect timing.[/quote]

That sucks.

[/quote]

What sucks is I wasted 2 years. Other than that I feel relieved that its finally over. I was miserable.

And yes we were exclusive - I’ve suggested alternatives on several occasions like FWB, polyamory, and so forth but he wasn’t interested in anything other than exclusive. And I clarified the FWB versus relationship on more than one occasion. everything but the sex sucked.[/quote]

So once again bad boy traits got the sex, gave you the rush you needed but everything else sucked.

Now you see decent guys who dont treat women like shit who go sexless, see guys like him with women who are attractive and they think; “hmmm, I want a piece of that” and =become some asshole.

So was he a beast in bed by making you friends with ropes and your face part of the furniture? Because from my experience this is what keeps women interested in assholes.[/quote]

Dead on. That’s the only thing that got my attention because he’s not physically attractive and is fairly sociopathic. That being said I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of times I actually had an orgasm with him. In two years.

So it definitely was the rush and the pain. [/quote]

So, does everybody see this as an either/or proposition-> either a sociopathic asshole or a sexless worm?

That seems like a false dichotomy to me.
[/quote]

Like everything in life it’s a spectrum. IMO

70

[quote]theBeth wrote:
I feel like a load of pressure and stress is finally gone. Tomorrow is a new day, and I get to make it the best day evar!!

Great video and yes that is the attitude. Look at the silver lining and move on to bigger and better things.

71

[quote]Mr. Walkway wrote:

[quote]theBeth wrote:

[quote]harrypotter wrote:

[quote]theBeth wrote:

[quote]2busy wrote:

[quote]theBeth wrote:

[quote]2busy wrote:

[quote]theBeth wrote:
…when you found out someone you had been with for at least a year was cheating on you? Has this happened to anyone? How did you deal with the situation? Did you confront them?[/quote]

Did this just happen to you, Beth? :([/quote]

Yup. Same guy who gave me the kimber. we were talking about working things out the last 6 weeks when one of my good buddies advised me yesterday that he’s been seeing some ER nurse for the last 8 months. Fuck. I didn’t sleep at all last night. Separated for good today. He was stuck in the car with me for the hour and a half drive from the Lifeflight event. Perfect timing.[/quote]

That sucks.

[/quote]

What sucks is I wasted 2 years. Other than that I feel relieved that its finally over. I was miserable.

And yes we were exclusive - I’ve suggested alternatives on several occasions like FWB, polyamory, and so forth but he wasn’t interested in anything other than exclusive. And I clarified the FWB versus relationship on more than one occasion. everything but the sex sucked.[/quote]

So once again bad boy traits got the sex, gave you the rush you needed but everything else sucked.

Now you see decent guys who dont treat women like shit who go sexless, see guys like him with women who are attractive and they think; “hmmm, I want a piece of that” and =become some asshole.

So was he a beast in bed by making you friends with ropes and your face part of the furniture? Because from my experience this is what keeps women interested in assholes.[/quote]

Dead on. That’s the only thing that got my attention because he’s not physically attractive and is fairly sociopathic. That being said I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of times I actually had an orgasm with him. In two years.

So it definitely was the rush and the pain. [/quote]

wait… isn’t this EXACTLY what I said (more or less)?

and yet… im a misogynist… and waittz isn’t despite his sociopathic tear LOL

you women are strange creatures. [/quote]

Yeah sure, but i didn’t have a problem leaving him, he was hanging onto whatever relationship we had more than I was. just because I like it rough doesn’t mean I have low self worth.

72

[quote]theBeth wrote:
That’s the only thing that got my attention because he’s not physically attractive and is fairly sociopathic. That being said I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of times I actually had an orgasm with him. In two years. [/quote]
Wat?

Five or less in two years? Since when has it been that easy to keep a girl!? He musta been a rich sonofabitch.

73

[quote]csulli wrote:

[quote]theBeth wrote:
That’s the only thing that got my attention because he’s not physically attractive and is fairly sociopathic. That being said I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of times I actually had an orgasm with him. In two years. [/quote]
Wat?

Five or less in two years? Since when has it been that easy to keep a girl!? He musta been a rich sonofabitch.[/quote]

What? You don’t think its possible for a woman to not be shallow? To be fair, I didn’t come to the realization that he was sociopathic until the past 6 months. I’m a slow learner, mmm’k?

Besides, it’s not alllllllll about getting off.

74

Considering the sheer number of “ways” to get a woman off, its kind of sad that in two years you can count on one hand. I would hope in a mere week two hands would be required.

Not to say that intimacy always has to lead to an “explosive finish” for both parties, etc. but it shouldn’t be hard to come by either.

I think this again falls back to - communication in the relationship, understanding each others wants/needs and doing your best to make it happen. If folks like kinky, then be kinky, if they like it soft and smooth, whatever. My personal experience has been that mixing it up is what makes for best and play off the mood. Kind of like enjoying a different flavor of pop or kool-aid even though your favorite may be blueberry crush.

I always refer to Ludacris’s lyric - A lady in the street but a freak in the bed.

Can’t be beat.

75

“everything but the sex sucked”

“I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of times I actually had an orgasm with him”

…lolwut?

76

[quote]HeavyTriple wrote:
“everything but the sex sucked”

“I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of times I actually had an orgasm with him”

…lolwut?[/quote]
I feel like my man brain is attempting to have some sort of revelation regarding females and sex, but it can’t seem to grasp a world in which sex isn’t all about getting off.

77

Yeah when I get in I’m a man on a mission so she better get hers before I get mine.

78

Was having sex last night, 30 seconds of thrusting and she’d finished, leaving me high and dry (for a while, that is).

I don’t even know what to feel anymore.

79

[quote]Makavali wrote:
Was having sex last night, 30 seconds of thrusting and she’d finished, leaving me high and dry (for a while, that is).

I don’t even know what to feel anymore.[/quote]
lol

80

[quote]HeavyTriple wrote:
“everything but the sex sucked”

“I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of times I actually had an orgasm with him”

…lolwut?[/quote]

The sex was a kinky adrenalin rush. But as far as me getting off, I have to open up to someone for that and frankly, his personality turned me off. It’s a trust thing too. Intuitively I knew I couldn’t trust him. I shouldn’t have let it drag out like it did.