[quote]bdocksaints75 wrote:
That’s shitty I hope you kept the Kimber.[/quote]
I left it at his house a couple weeks ago but it found its way back into my car one day. Damn straight i’m keepin it now.
Yeah I learned more about myself and it forced my growth by challenging me. So it wasn’t a complete waste. I got a Kimber out of it. And now, a fresh start. I can breathe! Hallelujah!!
[quote]theBeth wrote:
…when you found out someone you had been with for at least a year was cheating on you? Has this happened to anyone? How did you deal with the situation? Did you confront them?[/quote]
Did this just happen to you, Beth? :([/quote]
Yup. Same guy who gave me the kimber. we were talking about working things out the last 6 weeks when one of my good buddies advised me yesterday that he’s been seeing some ER nurse for the last 8 months. Fuck. I didn’t sleep at all last night. Separated for good today. He was stuck in the car with me for the hour and a half drive from the Lifeflight event. Perfect timing.[/quote]
That sucks.
[/quote]
What sucks is I wasted 2 years. Other than that I feel relieved that its finally over. I was miserable.
And yes we were exclusive - I’ve suggested alternatives on several occasions like FWB, polyamory, and so forth but he wasn’t interested in anything other than exclusive. And I clarified the FWB versus relationship on more than one occasion. everything but the sex sucked.[/quote]
X1million on shitty timing for the drive.
I know the feeling about wasted time. I had a 5yr + relationship end a couple years ago. That’s a lot of time and energy down the drain.
[/quote]
Try 25 years.
In retrospect, I saw the issues in the beginning but decided to ignore them and/or thought they would change.
Silly me.
[/quote]
I’m trying to wrap my head around this. Do you really consider the 25 years wasted?
If you saw issues early why did you keep pumping out kids? I mean, I can understand 2 or 3 early when your young, but why would you keep going with 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 and 9? I’m also generally baffled by people who put in years and years together and then suddenly it’s no good anymore or they can’t take it anymore.
I’m trying to wrap my head around this. Do you really consider the 25 years wasted?
If you saw issues early why did you keep pumping out kids? I mean, I can understand 2 or 3 early when your young, but why would you keep going with 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 and 9? I’m also generally baffled by people who put in years and years together and then suddenly it’s no good anymore or they can’t take it anymore.[/quote]
Part of it was keeping her happy.
She liked the entire being pregnant bit. The attention.
When I finally said no more kids, I got a vasectomy.
She wanted me to reverse it. I said no. We had enough.
It went steadily downhill from there.
Her control issues increased.
For example, right now, all of the kids living with her can have nothing to do with super heroes. No cartoons, toys, etc.
All because my 15 yo son did something wrong. So she punished them all.
Easiest thing in the world to be in a shitty relationship and not realise it. Been there - Lordy I’ve been there.
Particularly when you give in and give in and give in little by little to the other party, for the sake of the relationship. ‘Shitty’ becomes ‘normal’ pretty quickly and you lose perspective. It’s amazing what you’ll do to keep your SO happy.
Of course, this doesn’t stop you from looking at not-so-perfect relationships around you and judging THEM, when you can’t see the clusterfuck that is your own.
This shit can go on for a long time unless there is some sort of circuit-breaker. 25 years doesn’t surprise me - after about 3-5 years you tend to have found your ‘equilibrium’ as a couple IMO and you can continue indefinitely (for better or worse) unless there is a significant event that changes things.
An ex of mine once had an emotional affair on me. When I found out I confronted her on it and we worked through it. We ended up splitting a couple years later anyway for other reasons, but our relationship was never really the same after that. Frankly, I say if someone betrays you like that, dump 'em. It’s better for you in the long-run.
[quote]theBeth wrote:
…when you found out someone you had been with for at least a year was cheating on you? Has this happened to anyone? How did you deal with the situation? Did you confront them?[/quote]
Did this just happen to you, Beth? :([/quote]
Yup. Same guy who gave me the kimber. we were talking about working things out the last 6 weeks when one of my good buddies advised me yesterday that he’s been seeing some ER nurse for the last 8 months. Fuck. I didn’t sleep at all last night. Separated for good today. He was stuck in the car with me for the hour and a half drive from the Lifeflight event. Perfect timing.[/quote]
That sucks.
[/quote]
What sucks is I wasted 2 years. Other than that I feel relieved that its finally over. I was miserable.
And yes we were exclusive - I’ve suggested alternatives on several occasions like FWB, polyamory, and so forth but he wasn’t interested in anything other than exclusive. And I clarified the FWB versus relationship on more than one occasion. everything but the sex sucked.[/quote]
So once again bad boy traits got the sex, gave you the rush you needed but everything else sucked.
Now you see decent guys who dont treat women like shit who go sexless, see guys like him with women who are attractive and they think; “hmmm, I want a piece of that” and =become some asshole.
So was he a beast in bed by making you friends with ropes and your face part of the furniture? Because from my experience this is what keeps women interested in assholes.
[quote]theBeth wrote:
I feel like a load of pressure and stress is finally gone. Tomorrow is a new day, and I get to make it the best day evar!!
[/quote]
[quote]Makavali wrote:
Slept with her now ex-best friend, sent her pics of her friend gobbling down my cock and a couple shots of me balls deep in her pussy, and then swore off relationships for about two years (the two years being a string of meaningless one nighters and FWB type deals, none of which I regret).[/quote]
You’re my hero
I went with confrontation, seems to be the minority thing around here. I wouldn’t call it a fight, it was very emotionless and matter-of-fact, like ‘well that happened, so this is definitely done with.’ It felt good to get some words in even if it was very terse.
[quote]red04 wrote:
I went with confrontation, seems to be the minority thing around here. I wouldn’t call it a fight, it was very emotionless and matter-of-fact, like ‘well that happened, so this is definitely done with.’ It felt good to get some words in even if it was very terse.[/quote]
I honestly don’t know how anyone would not want some confrontation if for nothing else but some closure of the relationship
Until I was in my late 20’s I didn’t even attempt a serious relationship which could classify as having a cheat or break up. Once I got serious though I have had 2 relationships, one is with my wife. I haven’t gotten even an inkling of an idea that I may have been cheated on in either one of them.
I don’t know if that means I am utterly oblivious to it or just very careful with whom I’ve had serious relationships with. Or a matter of time- My wife and I were dating exclusively for 4 years and have been married for 4 years.
Depends on the relationship… If you have more to loose then gain drop it. Imo its amo so you can have flings down the rd …or it opens door to other stuff like swinging ect…
