Cheating: How Did You Deal...

Off Topic
301

[quote]theBeth wrote:
…when you found out someone you had been with for at least a year was cheating on you? Has this happened to anyone? How did you deal with the situation? Did you confront them?[/quote]

Beth, I hope you’re finally getting over that guy.

I’m super late to this party but I feel inclined to contribute my Jerry Springer nightmare.

I was in a relationship with this guy from about 2004-2007. Before making my “discovery”, I would have said that he was the ideal boyfriend.

One day I was having trouble with my computer so I went on his laptop. He had left his e-mail inbox open and when I went to log him out, I noticed that I didn’t recognize the username. The username was unbelievably provocative. I’m far from being a snoop but with the handle he was using, I really couldn’t resist perusing the e-mails.

Apparently, he had been communicating with men from all over the country since 2002. The correspondence was completely sexual in nature (graphic details including photos) and revolved around setting up encounters while away on business. I can’t even convey how sick I felt. I was actually thinking that it was all a nightmare.

When he got home from work that night I did confront him. Initially, he looked like a deer in headlights and fervently denied everything. When confronted with evidence he did start to come clean. He claimed that he “only” met up with two of the guys while away at his surgical conferences. He didn’t understand why I found the whole thing so upsetting, after all it wasn’t like he was having sex with other women. He was also very proud to highlight that he made it a point to let these guys know that he had a girlfriend and that it would be nothing more than a hook up. Gee, thanks for the consolation, buddy…

I obviously ended the relationship after learning about those little trysts. I was super devastated about the whole thing… I moved over 100 miles to get away from this man and wouldn’t you know, as a quirk of fate would have it, we’re now neighbors… go figure, right? If cosmic retribution is real, I clearly did something very crappy to deserve that!!!

That is a long post.

302

[quote]WhiteSturgeon wrote:

[quote]theBeth wrote:
…when you found out someone you had been with for at least a year was cheating on you? Has this happened to anyone? How did you deal with the situation? Did you confront them?[/quote]

Beth, I hope you’re finally getting over that guy.

I’m super late to this party but I feel inclined to contribute my Jerry Springer nightmare.

I was in a relationship with this guy from about 2004-2007. Before making my “discovery”, I would have said that he was the ideal boyfriend.

One day I was having trouble with my computer so I went on his laptop. He had left his e-mail inbox open and when I went to log him out, I noticed that I didn’t recognize the username. The username was unbelievably provocative. I’m far from being a snoop but with the handle he was using, I really couldn’t resist perusing the e-mails.

Apparently, he had been communicating with men from all over the country since 2002. The correspondence was completely sexual in nature (graphic details including photos) and revolved around setting up encounters while away on business. I can’t even convey how sick I felt. I was actually thinking that it was all a nightmare.

When he got home from work that night I did confront him. Initially, he looked like a deer in headlights and fervently denied everything. When confronted with evidence he did start to come clean. He claimed that he “only” met up with two of the guys while away at his surgical conferences. He didn’t understand why I found the whole thing so upsetting, after all it wasn’t like he was having sex with other women. He was also very proud to highlight that he made it a point to let these guys know that he had a girlfriend and that it would be nothing more than a hook up. Gee, thanks for the consolation, buddy…

I obviously ended the relationship after learning about those little trysts. I was super devastated about the whole thing… I moved over 100 miles to get away from this man and wouldn’t you know, as a quirk of fate would have it, we’re now neighbors… go figure, right? If cosmic retribution is real, I clearly did something very crappy to deserve that!!!

That is a long post.
[/quote]
Wow.

303

I vaguely remember Utahlama having a similar story.

304

[quote]print wrote:
I vaguely remember Utahlama having a similar story.[/quote]
Lol

305

[quote]WhiteSturgeon wrote:
Apparently, he had been communicating with men from all over the country since 2002. The correspondence was completely sexual in nature (graphic details including photos) and revolved around setting up encounters while away on business. I can’t even convey how sick I felt. I was actually thinking that it was all a nightmare.
[/quote]
My buddy and I once asked his girlfriend if she would be more upset if he cheated on her with another girl or with a guy. She said she it would be worse if he cheated on her with a guy. Still not sure why. He and I both agreed that we wouldn’t mind at all if our girls had some fun on the side as long as it was with a female.

306

So how do married guys deal with the gorgeous women that seem like they’re perfect for you? Do you do the roledex?

307

[quote]Airtruth wrote:
So how do married guys deal with the gorgeous women that seem like they’re perfect for you? Do you do the roledex?[/quote]
Okay dont understand this question.

Are you asking how do married men manage their affairs with gorgeous women?

308

[quote]Derek542 wrote:

[quote]print wrote:
I vaguely remember Utahlama having a similar story.[/quote]
Lol[/quote]

I really did lol

309

[quote]Derek542 wrote:

[quote]Airtruth wrote:
So how do married guys deal with the gorgeous women that seem like they’re perfect for you? Do you do the roledex?[/quote]
Okay dont understand this question.

Are you asking how do married men manage their affairs with gorgeous women? [/quote]

How do they stay faithful, for a life time when that one girl walks by that is just incredible, and you want a taste.

311

[quote]Derek542 wrote:

[quote]WhiteSturgeon wrote:

[quote]theBeth wrote:
…when you found out someone you had been with for at least a year was cheating on you? Has this happened to anyone? How did you deal with the situation? Did you confront them?[/quote]

Beth, I hope you’re finally getting over that guy.

I’m super late to this party but I feel inclined to contribute my Jerry Springer nightmare.

I was in a relationship with this guy from about 2004-2007. Before making my “discovery”, I would have said that he was the ideal boyfriend.

One day I was having trouble with my computer so I went on his laptop. He had left his e-mail inbox open and when I went to log him out, I noticed that I didn’t recognize the username. The username was unbelievably provocative. I’m far from being a snoop but with the handle he was using, I really couldn’t resist perusing the e-mails.

Apparently, he had been communicating with men from all over the country since 2002. The correspondence was completely sexual in nature (graphic details including photos) and revolved around setting up encounters while away on business. I can’t even convey how sick I felt. I was actually thinking that it was all a nightmare.

When he got home from work that night I did confront him. Initially, he looked like a deer in headlights and fervently denied everything. When confronted with evidence he did start to come clean. He claimed that he “only” met up with two of the guys while away at his surgical conferences. He didn’t understand why I found the whole thing so upsetting, after all it wasn’t like he was having sex with other women. He was also very proud to highlight that he made it a point to let these guys know that he had a girlfriend and that it would be nothing more than a hook up. Gee, thanks for the consolation, buddy…

I obviously ended the relationship after learning about those little trysts. I was super devastated about the whole thing… I moved over 100 miles to get away from this man and wouldn’t you know, as a quirk of fate would have it, we’re now neighbors… go figure, right? If cosmic retribution is real, I clearly did something very crappy to deserve that!!!

That is a long post.
[/quote]
Wow. [/quote]

Holy shit, wow. I think now would be a good time to point out to you that I’m single and very much heterosexual. Oh fuck, there was that threesome I had once but that definitely didn’t count as a bisexual experience, I didn’t touch the other guy, I swear I didnt. I don’t swing that way.

312

[quote]Airtruth wrote:

[quote]Derek542 wrote:

[quote]Airtruth wrote:
So how do married guys deal with the gorgeous women that seem like they’re perfect for you? Do you do the roledex?[/quote]
Okay dont understand this question.

Are you asking how do married men manage their affairs with gorgeous women? [/quote]

How do they stay faithful, for a life time when that one girl walks by that is just incredible, and you want a taste.[/quote]

  1. Marry up and do not settle
  2. Not to be corny but its called Love. I would never want my wife to be hurt by me being weak of mind.
  3. Spank Bank
313

[quote]theBeth wrote:
and I have a hard time fitting my values to an organization that turned out bastard popes sired by pedophilic bishops and prostitutes, who were simply pawns in a powerplay created by Constantine’s brilliant idea to combine religion and government in order to more completely subjugate the masses.

[/quote]

You, Miss BethieGurl, are wise well beyond your years…

314

[quote]Airtruth wrote:

[quote]Derek542 wrote:

[quote]Airtruth wrote:
So how do married guys deal with the gorgeous women that seem like they’re perfect for you? Do you do the roledex?[/quote]
Okay dont understand this question.

Are you asking how do married men manage their affairs with gorgeous women? [/quote]

How do they stay faithful, for a life time when that one girl walks by that is just incredible, and you want a taste.[/quote]

I’m not a man but I’ll answer you from my perspective. If I encounter a really attractive guy, I just imagine that he probably has chlamydia. No, but in all seriousness, some reasons that I stay faithful to my husband include: It is super hurtful; I would be absolutely guilt-ridden; I would feel a total loss of integrity; I took a vow; I am the worst liar and would inevitably get caught; I may get stoned to death. Okay, probably not the latter, but many years ago it would have been a very real possibility.

I think people are more apt to have an affair when some “need” in their relationship is not being met. If I were to find myself interested in someone else, I would take a hard look at my marriage and try to figure out what’s lacking.

315

[quote]The Other Titan wrote:

Holy shit, wow. I think now would be a good time to point out to you that I’m single and very much heterosexual. Oh fuck, there was that threesome I had once but that definitely didn’t count as a bisexual experience, I didn’t touch the other guy, I swear I didnt. I don’t swing that way. CALL ME!
[/quote]

.

316

ahem

what some of you of the female, and or religious persuasion are missing out on, is if the man aint receiving it at home, he WILL find it somewheres else.

if you do not perform , or let him perform_ on you, then he will find someone who will.

that is all -

please forward all questions to my secretary, Print - they will be answered in the order that they are recieved.

317

[quote]WhiteSturgeon wrote:

[quote]Airtruth wrote:

[quote]Derek542 wrote:

[quote]Airtruth wrote:
So how do married guys deal with the gorgeous women that seem like they’re perfect for you? Do you do the roledex?[/quote]
Okay dont understand this question.

Are you asking how do married men manage their affairs with gorgeous women? [/quote]

How do they stay faithful, for a life time when that one girl walks by that is just incredible, and you want a taste.[/quote]

I’m not a man but I’ll answer you from my perspective. If I encounter a really attractive guy, I just imagine that he probably has chlamydia. No, but in all seriousness, some reasons that I stay faithful to my husband include: It is super hurtful; I would be absolutely guilt-ridden; I would feel a total loss of integrity; I took a vow; I am the worst liar and would inevitably get caught; I may get stoned to death. Okay, probably not the latter, but many years ago it would have been a very real possibility.

I think people are more apt to have an affair when some “need” in their relationship is not being met. If I were to find myself interested in someone else, I would take a hard look at my marriage and try to figure out what’s lacking. [/quote]

Well I haven’t been married, but I like to keep my word and vows. Even in a relationship I don’t want to hurt the person but sometimes when I’m talking to another female I forget I’m in a relationship. Not as I have no memory, just it’s not something I’m thinking about at the moment. Long as I’m out and it’s something where I have to call back or come back and talk to her then I’m good, but if there’s no break for me to stop and think I can easily get caught up. I just hope if I do get married that wouldn’t happen.

318

So to discuss it further, if you have kids(age unrelated I guess) and one of you cheats, is it better to stay together for the kids or divorce? And I guess lets say the kids are 16 and younger. Even now that I have a son, that is a tricky one for me.

319

[quote]farmerson12 wrote:
So to discuss it further, if you have kids(age unrelated I guess) and one of you cheats, is it better to stay together for the kids or divorce? And I guess lets say the kids are 16 and younger. Even now that I have a son, that is a tricky one for me.[/quote]

I stayed for a full 2 years after caught the X “for the kids” I found myself hating coming home and would work as much as possible. This did not help my marriage but drove her even further away. Of course I was very young 20 year old at the time, now 20 years later dont know if I would have the same response.

in other words

Cheaper to keep her :slight_smile:

320

[quote]farmerson12 wrote:
So to discuss it further, if you have kids(age unrelated I guess) and one of you cheats, is it better to stay together for the kids or divorce? And I guess lets say the kids are 16 and younger. Even now that I have a son, that is a tricky one for me.[/quote]

the answer is yes, stay for the kids - that way, everyone wins~

(forchristsake!)