Wow, this degenerated into insults rather quickly. Good job. That’s the best way to open minds, get them on the defensive with name calling. I’m sure they teach that in leadership school somewhere, a cave in Pakistan maybe.
Daox:
“Slut” is a pretty harsh word.
“Hussy”
“Harlot”
“Saturday Night Sally”
These I can see but “Slut”? A little harsh for sure…
Besides, Boiled Bunny is TOTALLY jammed with protein…Mmmmm protein…urgh…ghgh.gh…
"When he is late for dinner and I know he must be either having an affair or lying dead in the street, I always hope he’s dead’
~ Judith Viorst
Daox nailed it, someone had to say it. If you think its bad being called a slut, how bad is it to have someone screw with your marriage? It doesn’t matter if that person was going to cheat on his spouse with somebody else anyway - thats not your responsibility. Your responsibility is to make sure that other person is not you.
You can flame me and say what you want, but in my eyes you’re not a T-Vixen, you’re nothing but a slut. I’m surprised that people in this thread have actually condoned this kind of shit, while everybody jumped on the guy for taking recreational drugs - at least his actions weren’t affecting anybody else.
IF this guy is married and a person knows it, “what the hell is wrong with you?” Does it not occur to some that certain behavior is wrong, not wrong only if you feel bad, or you get hurt, or whatever.
To the other person, you’re the slut, whore, tramp etc. that is messing with their marriage. the "my wife don’t understand me my marriage is bad she’s a bitch is the oldest line in the book.
People are idiots.
A person who cheats can never be trusted. It is a violation of the deepest sort.
A cheater always has a justification in mind. That is the really selfish part.
In my opinion cheating is a manifestation of many other character flaws in a person. If they cheat they are best avoided. Run away don’t just walk.
The pain of a broken marriage and the affect of all involved is not something to make light of. What would you think of the other woman if you were the one cheated on? I’m sure the word slut would come to mind. What if your sister, or mother was the one that was cheated on? What about the pain of the kids?
There to much of this cavalier whatever attitude which doesn’t take in the account the feelings and the affect towards others.
Personally, think that people that cheat or fool around with married people don’t have much in the way of character. I would never consider such a person a friend or relationship material. there are things that are right and things that are wrong. If someone wants to come for advice on something that is obviously morally wrong to me, I won’t sugar coat it.
Hm well. I deliberately didn’t give too many details, because I was asking for opinons…and I certainly got them.
in response:
- I never said dude was married,so shove your homewrecker/slut comments where the sun don’t shine.
- I hardly think having a sexual relationship with someone qualifies me as a slut! And I certainly don’t go around calling all the guys who put up “hot babes porn battle” pics assholes.
- I sure as hell wasn’t asking for your moral judgements on my lifestyle, daox etc. I might suggest you get a little more experience with sex and women in general before you qualify MY life based on your ideas of morality.
4)This is what has been pissing me off about these boards lately. Ok, so maybe I touched on an issue some of you have bad experiences with, maybe you have problems with it. Does that mean you come back at me and call me names just because you don’t agree? For a bunch of guys who in general like to see boobies and yak about sex (which I’m not busting on you for at all, boobies are fine with me)…you’re sure mouthy about me being a “slut” for posting a simple query about a relationship. I don’t see my name on any flames in the endless porn pictures threads, or the “i fucked so many women this weekend” threads. - In sum, a little more tolerance and a lot more respect might be suggested for the future.
But thank you to those who understood the question and answered to the point, I appreciate that and it was pretty much what I was thinking.
The elfling!
Calling one a “slut” in fact judging the actions of that person is far worse than any act they have commited. You are not god. And by attempting to be God you have commited a much worse act. It is ok to disagree with anothers behaviors, even to inform that person that it is not the decision you would make, or that you feel like it might be a mistake on their part. However that being said, You are not all knowing and no matter what book you read you are still not given any right to judge and condem another for you two have flaws, thus you are still human.
So does the guy have a kid with someone else but is not currently romantically involved with that person?
elveneyes, I was one of the ones who did not flame you but gave my opinion. In your original post you said someone who was “legally attached” is the person with whom you were involved with. I understood that as being married. Please explain what you meant and maybe you could get the answers you were looking for. As far as people calling you a slut, I don’t think anyone here knows you well enough to make that statement. But, I am currently going through a divorce because my wife was not faithful. We have two children ages 4 and 3. There really is no good reason she cheated on me except she never wanted a family in the first place. Even though your situation is different there still is a family involved. My children are being affected by this and if the person you are involved with has kids, his will be too. Think about what might happen when this family is destroyed. You seem to be a lady with a good head on her shoulders, I am sure you can find another guy out there that is single. I my case my wife just turned out to resent me and the kids and kind of went wild. I know in the future, the kids will resent her for this. Ask yourself if you want to be a part of something that may cause this man’s family to resent him.
If you sat down and put on paper all the things that would be your guidlines for a great healthy relationship would you include “in another relationship/ cheater/ may leave the other person/ may not / consume my time worring about what will happen/ if he loves me or her more/ is he with her now/ when he dosen’t call is he with her and happy…” ?
You get my point!
If it is not on your list of things you would decide if given a choice why settel?
You DO deserve better!!!
No matter what shit has gone on in the past, or how many mistakes you have made, or how many people think you are a bitch, slut ect , the truth is this is a waist of time.
Move on - get clear about what YOU WANT
DO you know what you want?
or if you are happy and this is on you list stay and be happy in it.
Last you must belive yourself that you deserve better.
Sorry Elfy but you opened up the door to criticism when you said “legally attached to,” which, I am sure, everyone assumes to mean married to. Nobody likes to see a marriage broken up and even the most hardcore, single, porn loving, wienie waggers on this forum don’t think highly of anyone who interferes in someone’s marriage. So, why don’t you just explain yourself as to what “legally attached to” means and then the apologies can start.
Clarification needs are accepted 
I don’t even really want to explain the situation though because it’s horrendously complicated (and I’m not trolling for sympathy). Suffice to say cars,money and living situations are involved without anybody actually being married.
I was really just genuinely curious if anybody had known a cheater who had turned around or had been a cheater who turned around. And yes, I do draw a bit of a distinction between cheating on a bf/gf and cheating on a spouse.
Avoids Roids totally hit it on the head. If you’re going to leave something that open to interpretation, you’re going to get a WIDE RANGE of interpretations. Also, elveneyes, I really don’t give a shit whether or not you agree with my views on morality. You posted this on a PUBLIC forum, and I stated my opinion. I was obviously under the impression that the man in question was married. In my post, if you actually would have read it, I clarified that you having sex with the person didn’t make you a slut, but the circumstances did.
Vegita, you’re a chode. Aren’t you in fact “judging my judgement” by claiming that I’m trying to be God? I never said that I wasn’t without faults, but I’ve also never slept with anyone that was married(yes, I realize this was a misunderstanding). So technically, in that situation, I have every right to pass my judgement off on someone else considering I haven’t committed that sin. It’s amazing how someone can talk about how someone else is being hypocritical yet be hypocritical in the same sentence.
Did I degrade you for your actions? Not in the least. I was just pointing out that you were yourself being “ugly” to a person who was partaking in something you considered to be “ugly” therefore lowering yourself to those same standards. There was anger in your post and it is bothersome that a complete stranger who gives a situation could anger you. I wasn’t trying to be a “chode” I was trying to help you retain your credibility.
Similarly I didn’t address my post directly to you so not all of it directly pertained to your post. Sorry you thought it did.
Sorry for trying to help.
Here’s a feeble thought, but a thought nonetheless. A guy that’s in a relationship is 50% responsible for it. The woman in the aforementioned relationship bears the other 50%. The “other woman” couldn’t possibly wreck or fuck with a relationship if the guy didn’t consent to fucking it up himself.
Here’s a few terms that come in handy: No thanks, I’m already attached, I’m flattered but I can’t, I’d love to but my wife/GF doesn’t do the threeway thing, or anything along those lines.
Well EE, life can be long sweetheart, so when you say can it ever happen the answer is absolutely. We all go through changes and it seems to me that alot of us are fundamentally differant people at 40 then we were at 20. I know a guy who was faithful in marriage for 20 years and then started cheating. Seems to me if it can break one way then it is possible to break the other also. On the other hand your relationship with this person is probably basically an illusion. You’ve got, I hope, redhot, tear your clothes off, wild ass fucking, but you don’t have bills, kids, to deal with him when he’s sick and ugly, to wash the skidmarks out of his drawers, to tell him if the mole on his inner ass cheek is changing etc. I can almost gaurantee you he has another side you ain’t acquainted with yet. The pissy, spoiled, depressed, annoying, controlling or something that you don’t see cause he is all happy about tasting you when he sees you. His other sees it, believe me. He may be great, but he ain’t as great as he seems cause when he is with you he is on vacation from real life, and fuckin’ a, who aint happy on vacation? If you can go on vacation and make each other happy, fuck these preachy cocksuckers, but it ain’t real life yet.
tinman, I’ve got to say that’s the best answer I’ve heard ever, and you brought up a point I honestly hadn’t thought about re: vacations.
woohoo deep stuff to think about over thanksgiving!!
I agree that was a pretty awsome thought process there tin! Kudos!