This is absolute gold. I feel it is a near perfect anecdote of what I meant with the inability to let go.
T3hPwnisher’s father simply, absolutely, cannot let go of his belief that he is correct when it comes to his ability to navigate roads. And, correct me if I’m wrong T3hPwnisher, he probably displays this belief in many other things in his daily life.
Thank you for the answer.
But what do I do?
Eat more? Eat less? Train more? Train less? Study more? Study less?
“Let go” doesn’t really make sense to me. What would an example of this look like?
I’m not trying to be obtuse, I need concrete examples.
I don’t believe this, especially when it comes to academics
How did you get to this conclusion?
Worry less.
The anxiety over these factors and academics will hinder you in the future.
Anxiety is a terrible mistress.
@hustlinghat93 i decided to test my deadlift. I could barely hit 130kg. haven’t gotten any stronger. Just heavier → weaker
My goals feel further than ever. What’s the point of getting fat if my lifts aren’t going up
I don’t remember what your personal weight is, but judging by the pictures I’ve seen, you’re not heavy. From this point of view, 130 kg. are not at all small, considering the fact that you are not a competitor. I even think you might be lifting at least 2 times your body weight. I can bet that most non-athletic men who are much heavier than you will not be able to lift even 120 kg. I saw it a while ago on a video where they stopped men on the street and asked them if they could lift the barbell. Somewhere out of 15 people only one or two made it, who said they do sports.
Thanks for the encouragement but it’s a backslide.
I used to be able to deadlift 120kg at 40kg, I then gained weight over the pandemic and hit 130 at 47kg.
Today, I weighed in at 49kg but was only able to hit 130kg for a very grindy single. Granted, I wasn’t peaked, but I have been training hard and that + weight gain should mean progress
My goal is to eventually hit a 4x bodyweight deadlift
What do I do???
Well done, so you’re lifting 3 times your own weight at this stage. I assume you are using Sumo style, not classic.
Just for reference you have been performing better and got a rep PR with 107kg. This is important for the below.
The program you are on is high volume and moderate intensity (according to google) and not one which is built to increase 1RM. Why would you expect to see improvements in an aspect of fitness you have not been training?
Imagine me dedicating time to 100m sprints then testing my 5km and being surprised it’s not better.
Also if I may add I want to say I don’t recall you ever going through a period of BUILDING strength. You always do a peaking program which is more of a short term CNS adaptation to make you stronger for a specific time frame due to practicing heavy work.
Don’t test strength during a prep phase, accumulation phase or intensification phase.
Do a high volume moderate intensity program while gaining weight (like you are doing) and build strength in the higher rep ranges (great for gaining muscle hence why it’s done now)
Do an intensification phase where the volume drops and the intensity is higher. This is about building a bridge between high rep PRs and 1RM PRs.
Do a realization phase where the volume is lower and intensity higher. This is all about taking the strength built previously and practicing it in the lower rep range so it translates directly to low rep PRs.
Also about this. Am I correct in guessing you did not have access to the gym during the pandemic ?
Roger that. I honestly love the programme I’m doing now.
I probably did get stronger since I just finished 5x10 at 100kg in 35min.
The 130 was hit this May, after peaking
I’m not familiar with your program but I know it is based heavily on 5/3/1 as is Juggernaut method.
I don’t know if it was Chad Wesley Smith or Wendler that said it (paraphasing): “we will never test your 220lb bench goal for a single, but when you hit it, it will be for reps”
If you love the current programming run it for a while until you are close to hitting 130kg for reps.
I’m sure anyone who has run 5/3/1 for a long time can attest there’s a moment where you have to hit 5 reps with more than your last 1rm and the feeling of nailing the weight for 5 reps and it no being a grinder is probably better than most drugs
It reads like you’re having an anxiety/panic attack. I suggest you look for help outside of t-nation or the gym.
You’re on a so called deload, yet you just performed a workout that was clearly meant as nothing more than a calorie burner, then you test your 1RM deadlift? Until you fix the underlying issues, your training will likely never progress because you’re constantly shooting yourself in the foot. As others have said, I don’t think a trainer or coach will help because you will not trust them and their process.
By a “fixed state of who we are” I am talking about people who develop a belief that something about them is central to their sense of being. It can be anything- a belief that they’re naturally smart/brave/healthy/fat/stupid/etc etc.
This colors their every interactions and viewpoint of the world. At best it helps them navigate the world and gives them the ability to interact confidently with it; at worst it warps their perception and blinds them to reality.
The worst things happen when a person’s fixed state of who they are does not align with their daily actions or activities. This is frighteningly common imo. For example, the person who thinks they’re a healthy person because they’re eating a vegetarian diet, completely ignoring the fact that eating high carb and high fat foods that are not nutrient dense is not what a vegetarian diet is supposed to be. Or a person who thinks too highly of themselves to work a ‘low’ job, completely ignoring that their living situation does not reflect their sense of themselves.
The reason I say it’s the worst thing you can do for yourself is that I think it’s self-limiting and stops you from actually being able to communicate effectively with others and recognize issues that you should correct or address.
As for how I came to this conclusion- I saw many people in my personal life who have a fixed state of who they are (or who they should be) crash and burn when this fixed state kept smashing head first into reality. It horribly hurt themselves and the people around them and they were completely oblivious to this. Some of them went to the grave never recognizing this, leaving a lasting familial legacy that affects people to this day.
Those who did recognize and applied the appropriate course correction flourished and are living happy, fulfilling lives.
We all have our fixed state of who are Anna. It is very important to mind control yourself into having the mental wherewithal to have the humility to listen to others earnestly and honestly when they tell you that maybe that fixed state is harming you and the people around you.
I think this segues neatly into-
Regarding training and nutrition- Young lady, people been giving you advice on what to do with this for years. Maybe T3hPwnisher will be nice enough to rehash some of them.
If you’re asking for exact guidelines of what to eat and when to eat… Eh, experiment and see what works to hit your goal. This is where ‘letting go’ plays in. Accept that some of the experiments won’t work and give you less than desired results. But it is a good thing you did said experiment, because it gave you experience.
Regarding academics- If you feel that there’s issues then go talk to your professors. That’s why they’re there.
This makes sense. Thanks
Ahh. Got it
Surprise deload: day 4
Deadlift: work up to 130x1, 2x1-120; 5x10-100kg
Pendlay rows: 8x4-50kg EMOM
Leg extensions: 1x7,3x6-70lbs, 4x6-65lbs
Today is move in. I’m going to turn that into a workout. “Functional training” 
Funny, that is exactly what I was thinking. That is outstanding, absolutely celebrate those reps!
“workout” today was moving. jogging back and fourth between building and carrying stuff actually got my HR up
in other news, the dorm room is really small and shitty. I dont even have space to store my suitcase. At least I’m not rooming with my friend so there’s no reputation cost if I don’t get along with the roommate. Hopefully there 's another mould problem or something that forces her to move out
Also, looks like the extra weight is here to stay. if it were water, it should have dropped by now. I set up an appointment with the dietician for Tuesday. I hope she is helpful
No chance that it’s muscle?