Anna's Training Log Part 2 (Part 1)

Training Training Logs
9205

I feel like the big misunderstanding people have with therapists is this idea that they’re supposed to “cure you”.

Yes, it’s a medical field, but I see a therapist like hiring a guide when traveling into foreign territory.

The mind is WILD. Human thoughts and emotions are bizarre. Within our own headspace is SO much uncharted territory. You can TRY to navigate it on your own, and in doing so get lost, hurt, turned around, and possibly even die, OR you can bring along someone that knows the area well enough to be able to help you through the journey.

They’re not going to carry you to the end, but they can at least say “don’t eat that mushroom: it’s poison”

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9206

This is what I meant. I think you’re always seeing what you want to see, removing data points or considerations that may be relevant to your situation. In simpler words, you refuse to look at certain things with a broader or more objective viewpoint.

This is ultimately what I mean by learning to let go. Accept that your optics and PoV of things may be wrong for whatever reasons. Accept that you may in fact be completely and utterly wrong about EVERYTHING.

Perhaps you’ve never been healthy. Perhaps the way you looked when you felt good was in fact not ideal for you.

And so on.

There’s so much more I can write on this subject. I’s one of the things I learned that made me finally realize what the difference between an actual adult and a child is, for one thing. And I’ve only ever benefited from applying this to my thinking. I am literally my worst enemy.

Perhaps I can write more later, but unfortunately I have to scarf down breakfast/lunch and go off to work!

But, please, think about what I just wrote Anna. I believe it can only help you.

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9207

Thank you for the reply

Okay this makes sense

Maybe, but I’m not going to accept being this fluffy

what do you mean by this.
Are you saying that I’m not working as hard as I claim in the gym? (this could be true, btw)

9208

Going back to my reply to @hustlinghat93

it’s very scary to feel like I have no discipline around food. Being able to not give into impulses is something I’ve always prided myself on

I keep telling myself that I won’t eat more than planned, but when I see something, I end up justifying it

9209

This is great.

I’ve been working with a therapist for a couple years now. He very skillfully turned uncharted territory into charted territory, then helped me to see pathways from events that happened 45 years ago to actions and beliefs that I engage in to this day. Then helps to ameliorate them.

It did require two very important things on my part that I was not good at. Those were to trust someone and to be vulnerable.

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9210

Glad you dug the analogy dude! It was my experience as well.

Just to keep going with it: my dad SWORE to me he couldn’t figure out his phone’s GPS. It never worked right. Every time I’d go to visit him, I’d re-teach him how to use it, only to call him later and find out he was having the same issues.

I went driving with him and found out the problem: whenever the GPS took him on a road that he SWORE couldn’t be “the right road”, he’d shut it off and get lost.

I, meanwhile, using the same technology, discovered the GPS WAS taking us the right way: it just wasn’t HIS “right way”.

Why have the GPS if you’re gonna just go your own way anyway?

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9211

That is both hilarious and relatable. :+1:

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9212

Surprise Deload: Day 3

Press: 1x5-40kg; 3x2-40kg EMOM; 7x5-30kg EMOM; 5x6-25kg EMOM
Tricep pushdown: 3x15-22.5lbs, super set w/50 jumping jacks, no rest btw sets
Face pulls: 3x15-22.5lbs, super set w/ 50 jumping jacks, no rest btw sets
btn press: 1x10,9-20kg
Conditioning: 5x(1min kickboking+30 sec jumping jacks)

  • press felt fine, disappointed that I could only get 5 reps at 40kg… rest of it was meh, got HR up a bit

I really hope the extra weight is just water and will drop in the next day or two…
I also want to max out on deadlift tomorrow for fun. I need a win

On the academic side, I’m not going to take PhD micro next semester. There’s another class that’s more relevant to my research interests. I still feel like I’m taking the easy way out…

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9213

I was watching a movie and there was some German.

I couldn’t understand most of it but I could understand a good portion of one of the speeches one of the guys gave.

I am irrationally happy about that

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9214

Having a good experience with therapy of course depends on having the right therapist for you. As do any other experiences in the medical field. I will never be satisfied with a doctor prescribing me homeopathic nonsense that’s not backed by any science. That has happened and I never went back there.

That said… Therapy is challenging! As everything aimed at making you grow as a person. You won’t be in a situation where you get to hear only what you want. Therapy should be an environment where you feel safe and understood, but it’s not an echo chamber.
That your approach to fitness and dieting is challenged there is to be expected. The same will happen with a good coach btw.

I hope you can get a great coach with whom you can be open and who enables you to fully let go and trust the process. I agree that this will be a good chance for you.

@T3hPwnisher similar to your own advice to Anna some time ago, could it maybe be in your best interest to not follow this log so closely? I don’t mean to step out of my lane but I can see your pain in your relentless effort and that’s sad to read. Meaning no offense, I don’t mean to tell anyone what to do.

Which one?

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9215

I didn’t feel like she understood me

I would trust a (good) coach bc there’s a track record of results.

It’s a Russian movie Stalingrad(2013)

The speech was a pep talk by the anti hero gave to motivate his troops

9216

Maybe she didn’t understand you. Maybe she wasn’t the right person for the job in your case. Maybe she called you out on something/ disagreed which you interpreted as being misunderstood. I’m not calling you stupid with that last maybe. That would be a common reaction when believes are challenged and a tricky one to maneuver (not only in psychotherapy but also physio world).

In any case you shouldn’t let this one dissatisfying experience lead you to the conclusion “I don’t trust them”.

One could argue some people on here have a good track record. Is there a distinct difference to a designated coach in that regard (trust when believes are challenged)?

9217

A designated coach would tell me exact how much to eat, what the plan is etc

The members on here are helpful, but they can’t/won’t tell me numbers. When they say “eat more” I’m still left to my own devices and don’t trust myself.

Programming is less of an issue bc I just follow templates and have gotten results

9218

I am very curious how that will work out in your case. I really hope I get to hear about it when it happens.
I understand the appeal.

My coach offers nutrition coaching as well. Maybe look into that.

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9219

I’m going to see a dietician at my school (free)

Then get an actual coach when I am financially independent

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9220

I have seen a number of dieticians (related to diabetes) and none of them have been helpful to me personally.
Not to say the one at your school won’t be good, but I wouldn’t get my hopes up that they understand nutrition to support lifting.

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9221

apparently she works with the athletes, so ig it’s worth a try??

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9222

Well that’s a good sign.

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9223

It is often my plan. I am torn, as someone is using me as a means to perpetuate their own self-destruction, which creates a heavy degree of guilt. For so many posts posted here, there are several more deleted.

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9224

[quote=“anna_5588, post:9207, topic:258235, full:true”]

Maybe, but I’m not going to accept being this fluffy [/quote]

This is my exactly my point! I think that that you wrote this in reply exemplifies everything that I find concerning with the way you appear to see things.

You only see what you want to see! You only think what you want to think! Even the way you replied below is just another example of this!

I literally wrote a post strongly encouraging you to consider the possibility that everything you think about yourself is wrong, and yet you turn to think that I might be talking about how you might not be training hard enough.

Anna. I will be totally frank. I see no difference between you and the beginners who post in the Beginners subforum asking for advice. There is no difference because of one central commonality- the inability to let go. That is, to cede your perceived control over yourself.

This is what the classic overthinking from beginners really is. They think they know stuff because they read things, and therefore they have control over their training and their bodies. And they obstinately stick to this even when they’re not getting their desired results. Could one say that they actually have control over their training if it is not giving them their desired results?

This is also what the classic “fear of losing their ‘six-pack’” that a lot of skinny people or beginners who think they have six-packs display too. They fear losing control over their body, even though in reality they never had control to begin with! If they did then clearly whatever the hell they’re doing should be working, ya?

I believe your total inability to let go of your preconceived notions of what and who you are will hurt you in your life. I keep seeing it in the personal life stuff and the academic stuff you write too. This really is the reason why I keep coming back to try to give you advice. I know this because I’ve seen it in people close to me and experienced it first hand. It’s why I now firmly believe that the worst thing you can do for yourself and others is thinking that there is a fixed state of who we are.

This is the crux of it- this attempt to maintain this perceived sense of control over yourself is ultimately showing that you have no control over yourself. It completely blocks you from achieving your goals or soaring to higher heights.

This is also why I’m not sure a trainer will help you. I don’t think you’ll believe their process and stick to it. In many ways a trainer is similar to a therapist- there needs to be absolute trust in the system and the willingness to stick to it even if it’s uncomfortable.

You need to learn to let go Anna.

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