i dont have any real good advice, Spokiegurl -
but i have to ask, have you tried:
- Squats and Milk?
- Foam Rolling?
- Coconut Milk?
i srsly miss sama…
[quote]Spock81 wrote:
Okay T-Nation, I avoid you as best as I can, but I’ve reached a point where I need some f-ing advice and I want ya’ll to give me whatcha got!!!
I’ll try to summarize as best I can, but I am zee biggest babble bot in the world, so deal with it or GTFO.
Okay a couple months ago I met a boy.
A man-boy who pursued me, and though I was hesitant at first because I was afraid of life, he finally broke me down and we went on some dates etc…
He woo-ed me completely. LEGO DELOREAN GIFT, nuff said.
Dates and sweet texts and compliments, oh my!! It was like nothing I had ever experienced before.
And copious amounts of sex. Like a person slept with me, and then continued texting me sweet things and taking me out on dates.
MIND=BLOWN.
I mean for reals, that has never happened before.
HOWEVER, we were not “in a relationship” because he had just gotten out of a big one and wasn’t ready for anything serious. We were exclusive though, and that was good enough for me.
I told him I wouldn’t pressure him cause I didn’t want to fuck shit up.
I decided I would be the greatest girl in the whole world so that he would fall in love with me.
Like showing up at his place unexpectedly and demanding that I give him a blow job because I FUCKING NEEDED TOoooooooo. ROAR
I also hid a street fighter toy in his bathroom as a gift for him to find one day because it’s so fucking hip to be considerate.
Anyway, weeks went by and he drunkenly confessed to me that after he agreed to be exclusive he fucked someone else.
PAIN
But I dealt, and told him I wasn’t mad, just hurt. And we moved forward from there.
But then things kinda got shitty. Like we became less like a couple and more like fuck buddys.
Instead of goodnight beautiful texts I’d get like, yo, I have an hour to spare, wanna bang?
I decided that because I repeatedly make the same mistakes with men over and over again, that I needed to change. So I told him I couldn’t do this anymore. All I’ve ever been to every man I’ve ever known is nothing but a vagina, and I wont put myself through that anymore.
He said I meant more to him just a fuck, and he would prove it to me. So he started being super nice again and we’d hang out without fucking. Because I wont fuck.
No, no I will not fuck someone who is not my boyfriend.
But he doesn’t understand why I said I was okay with things and then changed my mind.
I am worried that he thinks I am one of those bitchy women that withholds sex to get what she wants, but I am doing it for me. Like in my heart I just feel I deserve something real from someone, and I told him he should feel special that he’s the only guy I cared enough about to change my ways. FIX MY PATTERN.
But he told me he hopes I find a boyfriend… and I am pretty sure it’s all just going to go away.
I can’t tell if my actions have made me a better woman or a shittier woman, and I want some other points of view because my mommy just tells me what I want to hear.
Thank you and good day. [/quote]
No, you are not a bitch. He’s just not the right guy for you. It’s time to drop the bum and move on.
Everybody is nice in the beginning of a relationship. It may not be what you want to hear, but he’s proven he’s not loyal, he’s proven he doesn’t care for you that way. He’s not into the relationship. There is no reason to persist or hope he changes his mind, he won’t. People don’t change. Thank him for the memories and get on with life.
If’s he’s screwing other chicks now, he will screw other chicks in the future. Exclusivity won’t change that. If you don’t drop him and you want to hang on to him, prepare to be hurt, because you will be frequently.
There are better dudes out there. People who will be genuinely interested in just you, people who think you hung the moon and who can’t believe how lucky they are to have you. He ain’t this guy. If he hurt you this early on, it’s just the tip of the iceberg. The best thing to do is realize it and move on, and never sell yourself short, unless you really like to get hurt; which makes you a drama queen and a sucker for losers. Send the fool packing. There’s plenty of dick in the sea…
[quote]Spock81 wrote:
[quote]twojarslave wrote:
Knowing nothing about this guy other than what you’ve shared, I’ll go ahead and venture a guess as to his thought process.
-
Telling women what they want to hear can be an effective way to get them in the sack. Most men understand this, even if it is on a purely intuitive level without any conscious recognition.
-
Now that he has you in the sack, he’s reflecting on his own conduct and the relationship in a shallow but still meaningful way.
-
Now he’s trying to back out of the whole situation without being a total dick.
Again, that’s just a guess based on limited information. [/quote]
OMG it’s so scary to think like that!!
I always convince myself that all the boys that were in my life were good people deep down and I just needed to be understanding or some STOOPID shit like that.
[/quote]
Yeah, you need to stop that thinking. People aren’t inherently bad, but they are inherently selfish, which in many ways is more dangerous. Quit thinking there’s something wrong with you. You are setting yourself up for misery by doing that, because it’s a self fulfilling prophecy. There’s something wrong with everybody. You just have to find someone who’s bullshit you can put up with and can put up with yours…
I don’t want to be rude but maybe you are ugly? People always say «he/she don’t deserve you, there is someone else, etc», but why would there be another one? Why would anyone care about you, male or female, if you are not at least a 8/10, with an ability to make the other feel good, smart, etc etc? I am 23 and I have accepted the fact than I am now old and ugly, on the downward slope and that I should lower my standards accordingly. Aren’t you 30 years old or more? Life goes fast and you will be uglier tomorrow than yesterday. Lower your expectations now and get some action before you get too old and you and your partner make each other feel like vomitting from the uglyness. I would stop complaining at this very second and enjoy the little you have now before it’s completely gone. Go in a bar and get the guy, as we can’t do anything in this age.
No one cares if you are a bitch or not. Let go of your emotions and softness, because if you don’t have what other sex want…
@ Spok:
Pats a goddamn wizard. Mature thinking, he knows whats up. I agree fully.
[quote]brandon76 wrote:
@ Spok:
Pats a goddamn wizard. Mature thinking, he knows whats up. I agree fully. [/quote]
Me as well, thanks very much for the advice Pat.
[quote]jasmincar wrote:
I don’t want to be rude but maybe you are ugly? People always say Ã?«he/she don’t deserve you, there is someone else, etcÃ?», but why would there be another one? Why would anyone care about you, male or female, if you are not at least a 8/10, with an ability to make the other feel good, smart, etc etc? I am 23 and I have accepted the fact than I am now old and ugly, on the downward slope and that I should lower my standards accordingly. Aren’t you 30 years old or more? Life goes fast and you will be uglier tomorrow than yesterday. Lower your expectations now and get some action before you get too old and you and your partner make each other feel like vomitting from the uglyness. I would stop complaining at this very second and enjoy the little you have now before it’s completely gone. Go in a bar and get the guy, as we can’t do anything in this age.
No one cares if you are a bitch or not. Let go of your emotions and softness, because if you don’t have what other sex want… [/quote]
So, like this?
[quote]Edgy wrote:
i dont have any real good advice, Spokiegurl -
but i have to ask, have you tried:
- Squats and Milk?
- Foam Rolling?
- Coconut Milk?
i srsly miss sama…[/quote]
- Hitting him?
- Putting it in his pooper?
He is an expert manipulator playing the long game. He wooed you to reel you in properly so he can have some easy pussy.
When a guy says he doesn’t want a relationship, what it means is that he wants to bang other women.
“Being exclusive” doesn’t mean shit to any guy (I’ve done the very same, rationalizing it as not cheating since we weren’t in a relationship)
I’d stay clear of him since he only wants extra easy pussy and will only shower you with affection to get what he wants in the long run, he’s banging others on the side and will keep doing so even if you open your legs for him again.
You only really know a person after a few months of being with them so you’ll just have to keep looking, finding a compatible partner isn’t easy unfortunately.
[quote]dirtman wrote:
Here is my 2 cents
I don’t know you but from what you describe you went into this with your eyes open. You seem smart. So I am going to be frank and tell you how I see it.
Guy tells you he is just getting over a big relationship break up. This means no commitment yet and I might fuck other people. You are a smart girl and this is what I would get from that kind of statement. So should you. Also he is going to do relationship stuff cause he is lonely. Wants a kind of connection again.
Next he liked fucking you. If you wanted him stick around more don’t over think things. Women have known since the start of time most guys love a woman with their dicks and their stomach/heart. If you can get 2 out of the 3 the rest will follow. Just takes time. And its not like your being used or some other bullshit. Your getting laid and so is he. Its 50/50 you get something too.
Then you did the dumbest thing a smart girl can do. No commitment = no sex. You might get some nice behavior for a bit. But some other lonely girl might come along and steal your ride. Or his eyes might wonder away from you. Cause by closing the door to something that was ok at one time tells him. Wow this girl is a fucked up control freak and is into head games. So he might actively start chasing other girls and not waste his time.
Yeah he might not be Mr perfect but he told you flat out. He is fucked up right now.
You have 2 choices. Fuck him and get yours too. or split and cool things off for a while.
[/quote]
Every time I read new posts in this thread I see this at the top of the page.
I want to officially say that I disagree with it. This is the way to get a fuck buddy, not a happily ever after.
Don’t worry about what he wants, Spock (whoever “he” is). Pick with your mind, and let your heart follow. If your mind makes good choices, your heart can be a goofy, mushy mess all it wants and no harm will be done. So assuming:
*Someone you like (fun, does stuff you enjoy)
*Someone you respect (self-supporting, clean enough for your tastes, treats his family well)
*Someone who likes and pursues you for time together outside of bed
*Someone who SEES you, you’re not interchangeable with every other woman
*Someone who does NOT put brakes on that you don’t want (he’s not looking for what you want)
If you find someone who meets your criteria, fall right in love. However, try to adjust yourself to his speed. Don’t be a labrador retriever who bounds over and tackles him to the ground to lick him all over in a frenzy of adoration if he’s still in the first phase of getting to know you. You can FEEL like a labrador, just don’t act like one until you’re his girlfriend. Then let it fly. If it’s a problem at that point you’ve picked the wrong boy.
@ Spok:
Emily is also a wizard of the female kind. lol This is great for guys to read and understand as well.
[quote]jasmincar wrote:
I don’t want to be rude but maybe you are ugly? People always say «he/she don’t deserve you, there is someone else, etc», but why would there be another one? Why would anyone care about you, male or female, if you are not at least a 8/10, with an ability to make the other feel good, smart, etc etc? I am 23 and I have accepted the fact than I am now old and ugly, on the downward slope and that I should lower my standards accordingly. Aren’t you 30 years old or more? Life goes fast and you will be uglier tomorrow than yesterday. Lower your expectations now and get some action before you get too old and you and your partner make each other feel like vomitting from the uglyness. I would stop complaining at this very second and enjoy the little you have now before it’s completely gone. Go in a bar and get the guy, as we can’t do anything in this age.
No one cares if you are a bitch or not. Let go of your emotions and softness, because if you don’t have what other sex want… [/quote]
Nah. We’ve seen pictures of her, and she’s not. Nice try though ugly guy. I’m on to your plan of telling women they’re all ugly and that they should lower their standards and go out and sleep with ugly guys like you asap 
[quote]csulli wrote:
[quote]jasmincar wrote:
I don’t want to be rude but maybe you are ugly? People always say Ã?«he/she don’t deserve you, there is someone else, etcÃ?», but why would there be another one? Why would anyone care about you, male or female, if you are not at least a 8/10, with an ability to make the other feel good, smart, etc etc? I am 23 and I have accepted the fact than I am now old and ugly, on the downward slope and that I should lower my standards accordingly. Aren’t you 30 years old or more? Life goes fast and you will be uglier tomorrow than yesterday. Lower your expectations now and get some action before you get too old and you and your partner make each other feel like vomitting from the uglyness. I would stop complaining at this very second and enjoy the little you have now before it’s completely gone. Go in a bar and get the guy, as we can’t do anything in this age.
No one cares if you are a bitch or not. Let go of your emotions and softness, because if you don’t have what other sex want… [/quote]
Nah. We’ve seen pictures of her, and she’s not. Nice try though ugly guy. I’m on to your plan of telling women they’re all ugly and that they should lower their standards and go out and sleep with ugly guys like you asap ;)[/quote]
Hahaha. I am just tired of people telling each other that one day they will find someone, clean, good looking and everything who really like them for what they are inside, etc while they will not. Everyone is disgusted by entropy and uglyness is a form of entropy. If you werent getting what you wanted in your prime, that is in your early twenties, then you will never get it. As you get older, you accumulate even more entropy and you disgust people even more.
Even if you train seriously and have the abs and everything. It has been the same since forever, ugly, poor and dumb people who think they will one day be beautiful, rich and interesting. You are a failure, just like about everyone. I am one, you are one. Get over yourself. The only way you can console yourself is by understanding that even the beautiful/rich or whatever people arent really happy.
Also my plan isn’t to make a woman feel ugly on the internet so I can go to Alberta to have some crappy sex lol.
[quote]jasmincar wrote:
[quote]csulli wrote:
[quote]jasmincar wrote:
I don’t want to be rude but maybe you are ugly? People always say Ã??Ã?«he/she don’t deserve you, there is someone else, etcÃ??Ã?», but why would there be another one? Why would anyone care about you, male or female, if you are not at least a 8/10, with an ability to make the other feel good, smart, etc etc? I am 23 and I have accepted the fact than I am now old and ugly, on the downward slope and that I should lower my standards accordingly. Aren’t you 30 years old or more? Life goes fast and you will be uglier tomorrow than yesterday. Lower your expectations now and get some action before you get too old and you and your partner make each other feel like vomitting from the uglyness. I would stop complaining at this very second and enjoy the little you have now before it’s completely gone. Go in a bar and get the guy, as we can’t do anything in this age.
No one cares if you are a bitch or not. Let go of your emotions and softness, because if you don’t have what other sex want… [/quote]
Nah. We’ve seen pictures of her, and she’s not. Nice try though ugly guy. I’m on to your plan of telling women they’re all ugly and that they should lower their standards and go out and sleep with ugly guys like you asap ;)[/quote]
Hahaha. I am just tired of people telling each other that one day they will find someone, clean, good looking and everything who really like them for what they are inside, etc while they will not. Everyone is disgusted by entropy and uglyness is a form of entropy. If you werent getting what you wanted in your prime, that is in your early twenties, then you will never get it. As you get older, you accumulate even more entropy and you disgust people even more.
Even if you train seriously and have the abs and everything. It has been the same since forever, ugly, poor and dumb people who think they will one day be beautiful, rich and interesting. You are a failure, just like about everyone. I am one, you are one. Get over yourself. The only way you can console yourself is by understanding that even the beautiful/rich or whatever people arent really happy.
Also my plan isn’t to make a woman feel ugly on the internet so I can go to Alberta to have some crappy sex lol.
[/quote]
Jesus, you’re a cynical mother fucker.
[quote]jasmincar wrote:
Also my plan isn’t to make a woman feel ugly on the internet so I can go to Alberta to have some crappy sex lol.
[/quote]
Well I never said it was. I imagined your plan was to tell all women everywhere that they were ugly and should lower their standards and sleep with ugly dudes like you. That way you’d have pussy lined up wherever you went, along with every other man ever. A bold strategy, but I think you lack sufficient mind control capabilities at the moment. What we need is a large scale way to corrupt the minds of females on a global scale. As of yet, I think we’re limited by our level of tech.
[quote]jasmincar wrote:
[quote]csulli wrote:
[quote]jasmincar wrote:
I don’t want to be rude but maybe you are ugly? People always say Ã??Ã?«he/she don’t deserve you, there is someone else, etcÃ??Ã?», but why would there be another one? Why would anyone care about you, male or female, if you are not at least a 8/10, with an ability to make the other feel good, smart, etc etc? I am 23 and I have accepted the fact than I am now old and ugly, on the downward slope and that I should lower my standards accordingly. Aren’t you 30 years old or more? Life goes fast and you will be uglier tomorrow than yesterday. Lower your expectations now and get some action before you get too old and you and your partner make each other feel like vomitting from the uglyness. I would stop complaining at this very second and enjoy the little you have now before it’s completely gone. Go in a bar and get the guy, as we can’t do anything in this age.
No one cares if you are a bitch or not. Let go of your emotions and softness, because if you don’t have what other sex want… [/quote]
Nah. We’ve seen pictures of her, and she’s not. Nice try though ugly guy. I’m on to your plan of telling women they’re all ugly and that they should lower their standards and go out and sleep with ugly guys like you asap ;)[/quote]
Hahaha. I am just tired of people telling each other that one day they will find someone, clean, good looking and everything who really like them for what they are inside, etc while they will not. Everyone is disgusted by entropy and uglyness is a form of entropy. If you werent getting what you wanted in your prime, that is in your early twenties, then you will never get it. As you get older, you accumulate even more entropy and you disgust people even more.
Even if you train seriously and have the abs and everything. It has been the same since forever, ugly, poor and dumb people who think they will one day be beautiful, rich and interesting. You are a failure, just like about everyone. I am one, you are one. Get over yourself. The only way you can console yourself is by understanding that even the beautiful/rich or whatever people arent really happy.
Also my plan isn’t to make a woman feel ugly on the internet so I can go to Alberta to have some crappy sex lol.
[/quote]
I’m not sure what part of Quebec you live in, but I’m next door in Maine, USA and the people I see from Quebec are GREAT LOOKING. The lady working the US/CA border was smoking hot with a sexy accent and a powerful firearm on her well-proportioned hip. Welcome to Quebec, all right. Hot women were everywhere and the men all looked like Patrice Bergeron. Yes, I have a man-crush on Patrice Bergeron. Quebecois are all over the place in Maine and they are definitely better-than-average looking, and well-dressed to boot.
Anyway, you have a terrible outlook on life. Nobody should listen to you. There’s really not much more to say about it.
[quote]csulli wrote:
What we need is a large scale way to corrupt the minds of females on a global scale. As of yet, I think we’re limited by our level of tech.[/quote]
The technology you seek was developed 4000 years ago by the Sumerians.
OMGGG!!! Too much stuff to read, ha-ha.
Okay so this is stupid:
When we were having dinner one night I was babbling about how I was going to start my own cleaning company (I really like to clean, LOl), and I would have a signature to make MY brand more unique. For example, I would always fold the toilet paper into a tip at the end so make shit all classy.
We were in a hotel shortly after that and the TOILET FUCKING PAPER was folded into a tip.
Mind=BLOWN.
So I went pee and whatever a few hours later I went pee again and HE refolded the FUCKING TOILET PAPER back into a tip!!
I was like ooozzing with smittenness…
A few days ago he sent me a text pic that was of his toilet paper folded into a tip and I felt all heart melty.
My head is like, Jenn, why would he do that thoughtful gesture if he didn’t like you?
See Jenn, see, he’s thinking about you. He cares…
But what everyone says on here makes so much more sense. He doesn’t care about me. He just wants to fuck. He doesn’t want to date me, ever.
He’s probably not really all that honest about anything.
He smokes a lot of pot
Drinks a lot of booze
and fucks a lot of women
THOSE ARE THE FACTS
The fact that I typically ignore and just focus on stupid shit like toilet paper.
This is why I get into these situations.
Gotta look at the real shit more often and dwell less on the little things.
[quote]Spock81 wrote:
He doesn’t care about me. He just wants to fuck.[/quote]
Typically speaking, this is how most men come into a relationship.
They seek physical union, and then physical union and time leads to a relationship and love.
Bass-Aackwards, yes.
Bluntly, men fake compassion, caring, interest, etc, to get laid, then somewhere along the line it becomes real.
So that, in and of itself, should not be a deal breaker.
The other items listed, however, are deal breakers.
So shake the dust off your feet and don’t look back.
+++++++
As an aside, but somewhat related, I just got married to the very girl I screwed around on and was broken up with about a year.
Met accidently again, had a drink, slept together, had a long serious talk that lasted a couple days, got the license, and went to the judge 3 days later. A proper religious marriage will follow, but that is a more complex situation.
So, yes, men who play around do get reformed.