F**kedup Thing I've Seen W/ Regard to Relationships

This story starts out with a relationship I had with a girl about 5 years ago. We met when I was training her and started seeing each other. We hooked up. She was divorced about a year and a half before. The f’ed up thing about it at that time was that she had a ‘boyfriend’ who lived in Australia (we live in FL) that she met on vacation 6 month prior.

This made it to where she would hook up with me, go out with me, but would never commit to just being with me permanently. It was really messed up then. I would do this story a disservice if I left that out. Just to make a long story short, she jerked me around for several months, hooking up, being together, not being together. Just generally unavailable.

After a few months I finally got fed up with it. I was really into this girl, but didn’t want to be in this situation where I was her fuck toy/emotional tampon. I wanted full be with her and she wasn’t having it. I stopped seeing her and shortly after I started dating a girl I met online who was a fitness competitor. When the ex found out about it, she called me and asked me why I didn’t tell her (her thing with the Australian guy ended in a hilarious way, he left her hanging in Hong Kong when he was supposed to meet her).

I just said I didn’t see the need to because we weren’t seeing each other and ‘our thing’ was over.

About a couple of weeks later she called me up and said, "what do you think of Joe? (a guy who also trained at my gym). I said I didn’t really know him. She then said, I think we like each other. What do you think if we started dating? I said it was none of my business and that she could do what she wanted to do. She then got mad at me and said I should support her in what she does because she supported me in what I did.

I still don’t know what she meant about that exactly. My business partner’s wife was/is good friends with her and told me, ‘you know she is just seeing him to spite you.’ Messed up from top to bottom.

Anyway, a few months later my relationship with the fitness competitor didn’t work out and Joe (the guy my ex was now dating) had a job where he would leave the country for months at a time. He left for 6 months at this time. She started asking me to hang out again and I did, we still had a friendly relationship when I would see her around. During our hang outs she started bringing Joe up. She said he was a pussy, she didn’t like him anymore and wanted to end the relationship. I felt as though she was hinting that she would be with me if I’d give her the go ahead, but I always just brushed it off. I was really into her before and didn’t want to fall into the same stuff as before. She would bring breaking up with the dude CONSTANTLY when we would talk or hang out.

During this time I met my (now) wife and had just started seeing her in a very casual way. Eventually I thought that my (now) wife seemed pretty nice and into me in a very good way and I didn’t want to go through the crap with my ex that she put me through before. I started seriously dating my wife and stopped contact with my ex.

Flash forward two years and my wife and I got engaged. The ex was still training at my gym and found out. She came up to me at closing the night after my engagement and said she heard I got engaged. She was bawling. Tears in her eyes and she grabbed me and hugged me for a loooong time. I literally felt bad for her.

She was still with Joe. At that point I figured she was doing her thing and I was doing mine and we never had any issues. Apparently she hadn’t let anything go.

She left my gym shortly there after. About a month after I got engaged I heard through mutual friends that she got engaged to Joe. It dumbfounded me a bit because of all I heard her tell me about him. But I figured maybe she found some love there and it worked out.

A year later I got married to my wife and all was good. Then one day I was on facebook and first thing on my newsfeed was that her Joe got married. Right about 6 months after my marriage. I thought that it sounded like weird coincidences. First she gets engaged right after I got engaged then married just long enough to set up a wedding after I got married. That was about 8 months ago.

I quickly forgot about the whole thing until this past Friday. My business partner’s wife is still friends with my ex. He told me that she was now divorced. I don’t know the timeline of when it happened, I’m guessing very recently. Even if it was that day it was a marriage that lasted 8 months max.

That just made me realize that she probably did all that to spite me. It makes you realize people sometimes do some fucked up stuff. I even kind of feel sorry for Joe because he really thought he had something going on and he has no clue that her and I ever had anything going on and the circumstances he ended up with her on.

He probably would have never had a shot at her if it wasn’t for the circumstance. On top of that the stuff she told me about him after they’d been together for a year was messed up being that she married the guy.

Some people are fucked up and with all the drama before hand and how into her I was, I now see that it was a gift to me that I didn’t end up with her. It is true that things work out for the best in the long run even in the short term when it seems that things don’t work out.

Let the past stay in the past and forgot all about it.

[quote]1000rippedbuff wrote:
I was really into this girl, but didn’t want to be in this situation where I was her fuck toy/emotional tampon.[/quote]

sounds like you’re the one who needs the tampon, nancy

“That just made me realize that she probably did all that to spite me.”

I think the above is an assumption and if false it changes the entire point of this story.

Bitches be crazy

[quote]sufiandy wrote:
“That just made me realize that she probably did all that to spite me.”

I think the above is an assumption and if false it changes the entire point of this story.[/quote]

That is VERY true, but with regards to everything else that happened prior to it, it makes it unlikely from what I know and from what people I know who know her have said.

[quote]Yogi wrote:

[quote]1000rippedbuff wrote:
I was really into this girl, but didn’t want to be in this situation where I was her fuck toy/emotional tampon.[/quote]

sounds like you’re the one who needs the tampon, nancy[/quote]

This is really all that needs said.

If you keep letting that fucking manipulative cunt rent space in your head, kiss your current marriage adios. That’s the kind of woman that winds up in a dumpster in 7 pieces and nobody will ever give a shit.

Folks, what you are witnessing with this opening post is some very adept humble brag. Kudos to you 1kRB.

[quote]1000rippedbuff wrote:
I was really into this girl, but didn’t want to be in this situation where I was her fuck toy/emotional tampon. I wanted full be with her and she wasn’t having it. [/quote]

Nevermind her for a second, this is where you fucked it up.

Though it doesn’t stop many of em from trying, men simply cannot “force” further commitment in a relationship; that’s the woman’s job.

[quote]on edge wrote:
Folks, what you are witnessing with this opening post is some very adept humble brag. Kudos to you 1kRB.[/quote]

as always, the Edge is correct~

carry on, there is nothing to see here~

[quote]csulli wrote:
Bitches be crazy[/quote]

THREAD

[quote]1000rippedbuff wrote:

He probably would have never had a shot at her if it wasn’t for the circumstance. [/quote]

Nor you, if Australian hadn’t dumped her ass spectacularly.

Anyone, this is just the stuff you know about. There are 5-6 more casualties going on.

Hope the sex was good; congrats on not getting her knocked up/raising some other dude’s baby.

[quote]chillain wrote:

[quote]1000rippedbuff wrote:
I was really into this girl, but didn’t want to be in this situation where I was her fuck toy/emotional tampon. I wanted full be with her and she wasn’t having it. [/quote]

Nevermind her for a second, this is where you fucked it up.

Though it doesn’t stop many of em from trying, men simply cannot “force” further commitment in a relationship; that’s the woman’s job.

[/quote]

That’s actually quite profound.

[quote]thethirdruffian wrote:

[quote]1000rippedbuff wrote:

He probably would have never had a shot at her if it wasn’t for the circumstance. [/quote]

Nor you, if Australian hadn’t dumped her ass spectacularly.

Anyone, this is just the stuff you know about. There are 5-6 more casualties going on.

I had her before the Aussie dude left her. It was likely never going anywhere relationship wise.

Hope the sex was good; congrats on not getting her knocked up/raising some other dude’s baby.
[/quote]

I had her before he left her.

[quote]pushharder wrote:

[quote]chillain wrote:

[quote]1000rippedbuff wrote:
I was really into this girl, but didn’t want to be in this situation where I was her fuck toy/emotional tampon. I wanted full be with her and she wasn’t having it. [/quote]

Nevermind her for a second, this is where you fucked it up.

Though it doesn’t stop many of em from trying, men simply cannot “force” further commitment in a relationship; that’s the woman’s job.

[/quote]

WOW! (Words of wisdom)
[/quote]

This is true, but I’m sure we’ve all been in situations where we have been a little too into someone for our own good. Just have to learn from it.

[quote]on edge wrote:
Folks, what you are witnessing with this opening post is some very adept humble brag. Kudos to you 1kRB.[/quote]

It really just makes me realize how messed up it all was. I was over it long before she was. Brag… Not so sure. Amazement that this stuff actually happens, yeah.

[quote]beachguy498 wrote:
If you keep letting that fucking manipulative cunt rent space in your head, kiss your current marriage adios. That’s the kind of woman that winds up in a dumpster in 7 pieces and nobody will ever give a shit. [/quote]

I’ve been over it for a while. Never really think about her except when she was brought up I run into some info about her. Lots of mutual friends and its hard not to.

[quote]chillain wrote:

[quote]1000rippedbuff wrote:
I was really into this girl, but didn’t want to be in this situation where I was her fuck toy/emotional tampon. I wanted full be with her and she wasn’t having it. [/quote]

Nevermind her for a second, this is where you fucked it up.

Though it doesn’t stop many of em from trying, men simply cannot “force” further commitment in a relationship; that’s the woman’s job.

[/quote]

I agree with about 33% of this post.

No, OP didn’t screw up, at least not the way he tells it. He wanted to be more serious, he laid his cards out on the table, she said no thanks, and he walked (at least his version.) Sounds pretty solid to me.

True, nobody can force someone else into caring more.

False, same rules are going to apply to women trying to force it. They may get what they SAY they want (marriage, moving in together, whatever) but it will be held against them and ruin the relationship anyway. Or it’s because the guy misplaced his spine and isn’t likely to find it again (at least not in that relationship), so congrats, they’re living with/married to a wimp. Not what they wanted.