[quote]dagill2 wrote:
Also worth noting “looking better” is also a very vague goal. It begs the question “looking better for who?”. I know we all think we have the same ideal physique, but talk to 10 different people and you’ll get 10 different answers. [/quote]
Itâ??s mostly about attracting ladies and not getting mistaken for a kid.
[quote]flipcollar wrote:
This is not a particularly lofty goal. Almost any workout template can get you to this point over the course of a year or 2. The key will be consistency. Consistency in terms of showing up for every workout, and consistency in terms of how hard you work in the gym. I suggest a very basic template with few exercises involved, at least to start. Don’t do a complicated bodybuilder-type routine that involves dozens of exercises. Keep it simple, and work from there. [/quote]
Consistency I have got. If I can make something a habit I will keep with it. Stubbornness is, for better or worse, built in to my personality.
[quote]dt79 wrote:
Re: Still skinny fat despite working in construction:
YEARS, NOT 2 MONTHS!
FUCK!
[/quote]
Who said anything about 2 months? Also am i really that fat?
[quote]dt79 wrote:
Healthwise, you might want to get a new set of labs done and post them in the TRT forum.[/quote]
[quote]Apoklyps wrote:
Out of curiosity, why?
T is just a number, measured at a single point in time, that tells us a limited amount of info about a bigger biochemical picture.
If you are interested in getting bigger/stronger, we can help you with that.
If you are genuinely concerned about symptoms that you are experiencing, that is an issue that is better addressed by your doctor than some strangers on the internet who may or may not sound like they know what they are talking about.
[/quote]
Mostly because it seems to be the internal hormonal stuff that affects things more. DHT appeals to me because I lack a lot of body hair at present and would be more confident if I, you know, could grow a beard or whatnot. I could have all the mass in the world and be clean shaven and would still feel like shite
You mentioned you can run about a half marathon. How often are you doing that? Running a few miles for conditioning isn’t terrible, I mean wrestlers still have to do it and they stay muscular. But running very long distances routinely can negatively affect your hormone levels.
[quote]dagill2 wrote:
Also worth noting “looking better” is also a very vague goal. It begs the question “looking better for who?”. I know we all think we have the same ideal physique, but talk to 10 different people and you’ll get 10 different answers. [/quote]
It’s mostly about attracting ladies and not getting mistaken for a kid.
[/quote]
Next question then: which ladies? Assuming all ladies want exactly the same physique is retarded and speaks to a much deeper lack of understanding.
What I’m getting at is (mostly) that your goals need to be more specific and measurable.
[quote]dagill2 wrote:
Next question then: which ladies? Assuming all ladies want exactly the same physique is retarded and speaks to a much deeper lack of understanding.
What I’m getting at is (mostly) that your goals need to be more specific and measurable.[/quote]
My answer would be ladies 17 or older. No upper limit, basically whatever I could get away with. The main reason I think I need to build muscle is because that seems to be the reason that I have not had any luck, and it would indicate evolutionary fitness as a desirable mate. The only reason I mentioned DHT is because beards are also an alternative, have long been a symbol of masculinity, and would distinguish me from a twelve year old.
[quote]T3hPwnisher wrote:
If I were 21 again, the best gift I could give to myself is learning how to cook.
Go get a slow cooker. They’re like $20. When you wake up in the morning, throw in some sort of tough/fatty meat, a bunch of veggies, some sort of soup mix/spices and soak the whole thing in water. Let it cook all day while you work, come home to a hot meal and enjoy. Eat the leftovers for lunch the next day.
I wasted so much of my youth eating garbage because I could get away with it.
EDIT: Oh yeah, and along with a slow cooker, I’d get a Foreman grill. They’re cheap, easy to clean, and cook meat just fine. Can do batches of stuff on the weekends with them.[/quote]
If I could give my 21 year old self advice, it would be to only do compound lifts for at least 2 years. As well as eating right as you said.
[quote]dagill2 wrote:
Next question then: which ladies? Assuming all ladies want exactly the same physique is retarded and speaks to a much deeper lack of understanding.
What I’m getting at is (mostly) that your goals need to be more specific and measurable.[/quote]
My answer would be ladies 17 or older. No upper limit, basically whatever I could get away with. The main reason I think I need to build muscle is because that seems to be the reason that I have not had any luck, and it would indicate evolutionary fitness as a desirable mate. The only reason I mentioned DHT is because beards are also an alternative, have long been a symbol of masculinity, and would distinguish me from a twelve year old. [/quote]
Hate to break it to you man, but it’s your personality that’s the problem, not your appearance/muscularity, or the lack of facial/body hair. When I was 21, I was a drug addict, weighed about 140 lbs at 5’10, couldn’t grow any body hair or even sideburns (still can’t at 31 years old), and I got all the pussy I wanted, because I was fun. I’ve posted pictures on here before of what I looked like back then. I looked like shit.
I can ASSURE you that muscularity is not highly valued with most women, nor is intelligence for that matter. The two traits I’ve found to trump everything else have been confidence and humor. I bet you suck at both of those. That’s what you should work on at least as much as your body. Cultivate an interesting personality that goes beyond an introduction and a few sentences about what you’re about.
[quote]flipcollar wrote:
I can ASSURE you that muscularity is not highly valued with most women, nor is intelligence for that matter. The two traits I’ve found to trump everything else have been confidence and humor. I bet you suck at both of those. That’s what you should work on at least as much as your body. Cultivate an interesting personality that goes beyond an introduction and a few sentences about what you’re about.[/quote]
QFT. I’d add popularity/status to that list too, but that often naturally follows confidence and humour.
Neither me nor any of my close friends can grow any decent amount of facial hair. None of us are hard done by. The guy who does the best is the skinniest, barely taller than me (I’m the shortest), and grows almost no facial hair. We’re all older than the OP too.
OP, your problems won’t be solved by getting huge, sleeping with a thousand women, or having all the androgens in the world in your bloodstream. The problem is that you’re insecure with your masculinity. It doesn’t matter what you were born with, learn to rock with what you were given. The guy who can do that despite having a disadvantage to start with is way cooler than the guy who was born to do it. Just like why we find self-made multimillionaires inspirational and not entitled old money snobs.
[quote]dagill2 wrote:
Next question then: which ladies? Assuming all ladies want exactly the same physique is retarded and speaks to a much deeper lack of understanding.
What I’m getting at is (mostly) that your goals need to be more specific and measurable.[/quote]
My answer would be ladies 17 or older. No upper limit, basically whatever I could get away with. The main reason I think I need to build muscle is because that seems to be the reason that I have not had any luck, and it would indicate evolutionary fitness as a desirable mate. The only reason I mentioned DHT is because beards are also an alternative, have long been a symbol of masculinity, and would distinguish me from a twelve year old. [/quote]
Hate to break it to you man, but it’s your personality that’s the problem, not your appearance/muscularity, or the lack of facial/body hair. When I was 21, I was a drug addict, weighed about 140 lbs at 5’10, couldn’t grow any body hair or even sideburns (still can’t at 31 years old), and I got all the pussy I wanted, because I was fun. I’ve posted pictures on here before of what I looked like back then. I looked like shit.
I can ASSURE you that muscularity is not highly valued with most women, nor is intelligence for that matter. The two traits I’ve found to trump everything else have been confidence and humor. I bet you suck at both of those. That’s what you should work on at least as much as your body. Cultivate an interesting personality that goes beyond an introduction and a few sentences about what you’re about.[/quote]
This.
If I had only one piece of advice to offer the 16 year old me in terms of sex/love life, it certainly wouldn’t be get more muscular (not that it wasn’t needed). It would be to get passionate about something and to live your life for yourself. People who do this rarely seem to have problems attracting women without trying.
Are you depressed? Have you tried seeking medication? It won’t fix the root causes, but it’ll help you think straight so you can work on yourself. Just a thought. If you do decide to seek it, I’ll leave you with a warning: it’ll make things a lot worse before they start working.
The secret is puberty. Building muscle will mean nothing if I can convince ladies that I am not, in fact, Justin Bieber or 12 years old. Any tips on completing puberty?
Whoops, I posted before seeing Apoklyps’ flipcollar and dagill2’s great advice on this second page. So much of that rings true to me, I know deep down that it’s not muscles that will save me, the only reason I bother posting on this board is because t’s a T forum and I associate that with getting laid. I think what would benefit me best would be to get off the internet boards looking for advice and just continue living in real life.
The puberty comments i make are half-joke, but I can’t help but think that looking rougher would benefit me a lot with girls. A lot of them seem to find it important enough to comment on that I look 16. Though they haven’t explicitly said it as a bad thing.
[quote]dave670 wrote:
Whoops, I posted before seeing Apoklyps’ flipcollar and dagill2’s great advice on this second page. So much of that rings true to me, I know deep down that it’s not muscles that will save me, the only reason I bother posting on this board is because t’s a T forum and I associate that with getting laid. I think what would benefit me best would be to get off the internet boards looking for advice and just continue living in real life.
The puberty comments i make are half-joke, but I can’t help but think that looking rougher would benefit me a lot with girls. A lot of them seem to find it important enough to comment on that I look 16. Though they haven’t explicitly said it as a bad thing. [/quote]
You’ll be hard-pressed to find a girl who says ‘you know what? I want a guy that looks old. And has a hairy back. I just LOVE hairy backs.’ These girls exist, but they are rare. It’s a niche market. And many, many women do not like beards at all.
Remember what Leonardo Dicaprio looked like in Titanic? Every girl in the fucking world wanted to bang that skinny, baby-faced kid.
[quote]FlatsFarmer wrote:
Start hanging out with with dudes who are confident, diesel and get girls. Be more like them. You’ll get girls, just from their run-off.
When girls hang out with eachother, they get the same period.
If you hang out with dudes you admire, you will become more like them.
Iron Sharpens Iron.
Stop going for long, slow runs. Eat more protein.[/quote]
This is true. That said, I don’t think that getting girls should be the reason why you pick your friends (though it certainly is a bonus!). IMHO, being obsessed over getting girls is an insecurity in itself and a very common one. One that is counterproductive to actually succeeding with women.
OP, make friends with people because you enjoy being around them and find them to be fun people. Pull them closer when you find that you respect and admire them and find them to be a positive influence on you. Make them your brothers when the hard times come and they prove to be the ones who stand by your side without a second thought when everybody else won’t.
EDIT: Oh and BTW, looking rough is a mixed bad. Some girls really like it, but often enough it sends the wrong kind of impression. I may not grow a killer beard, but trust me on this one: I’ve got personal experience.
Thanks for your help. This is most likely the wrong forum for me to be on, but I appreciate all your warm advice nonetheless. It’s stupid to get caught in the trap of sizorexia or believing muscle will make me a “man”, if I do build muscle it should be because I want to and not because of some belief it will fix things magically somehow. The problem is my mind, not my body
There are 12 year olds who are bigger than me. But at 21 years old you better believe my presence and persona is a whole lot different.
EDIT: Oh and BTW, looking rough is a mixed bad. Some girls really like it, but often enough it sends the wrong kind of impression. I may not grow a killer beard, but trust me on this one: I’ve got personal experience.[/quote]
Yeah I think looking “hard” helps to a point, but when you scare girls off it kind of defeats the point. I probably will grow a beard at some point based on how things are looking now, but once I have that ability I will likely never go clean shaven again lol
[quote]dave670 wrote:
Yeah I think looking “hard” helps to a point, but when you scare girls off it kind of defeats the point. I probably will grow a beard at some point based on how things are looking now, but once I have that ability I will likely never go clean shaven again lol [/quote]
Looking “hard” = people take you more seriously (especially if you are pissed off) but it can be harder to make people feel at ease around you, which I think is more important. It’s not bad for girls, but sometimes attracts the wrong type.
It’d be nice to look more approachable, but my face isn’t going to change anytime soon, so I’d rather rock with what I’ve got.
No matter how mean you look, some idiots will ridicule your masculinity over small things like using a straw or hair products, not knowing much about cars, etc. So fuck whatever they have to say. Because they are assholes and the fact that they believe that what they’re doing is hurtful to other men demonstrates that they’re probably in the same boat of insecurity.
[quote]dave670 wrote:
Yeah I think looking “hard” helps to a point, but when you scare girls off it kind of defeats the point. I probably will grow a beard at some point based on how things are looking now, but once I have that ability I will likely never go clean shaven again lol [/quote]
Looking “hard” = people take you more seriously (especially if you are pissed off) but it can be harder to make people feel at ease around you, which I think is more important. It’s not bad for girls, but sometimes attracts the wrong type.
It’d be nice to look more approachable, but my face isn’t going to change anytime soon, so I’d rather rock with what I’ve got.
No matter how mean you look, some idiots will ridicule your masculinity over small things like using a straw or hair products, not knowing much about cars, etc. So fuck whatever they have to say. Because they are assholes and the fact that they believe that what they’re doing is hurtful to other men demonstrates that they’re probably in the same boat of insecurity.[/quote]
I have genetics that are predisposed to baby-facedness early on, but taking a look at my father I will look harder with age, especially if I can grow a beard. I’m just now starting to bald as well, which tends to make guys look harder / older. It seems bizarre but the physical progression toward looking hard is really just up to the cycles of androgen exposure and how they affect you physically, in this case in the face. That takes time. But I can increase my chances by staying healthy now and doing whatever maintains healthy hormonal levels. Beyond being healthy and exercising there isn’t a lot I can do. Muscle is really just an over exaggeration of hormonal levels, I don’t need to be overly muscular to have a “good enough” level of T.
Re: playing guitar, I just so happen to already be a musician. My postings here are reflective of me discovering a harder side to myself as opposed to the sensitive whimsical fellow I am at heart.
The way I think I work is this. I stop doubting myself (I am starting to cease this behavior already), I act now the same as I would act at the indefinite point in the future when I am a “man” that I keep thinking of. Gradually over time i realize that I don’t have to act anymore because I have assimilated into that man and have all of the behaviors and skills that I need, acquired over a period of time. I try to be direct, forthright, look people in the eye. This is the foundation of what I need.