Your dad’s a doctor, and you grew up doing manual labor?
[quote]LoRez wrote:
Your dad’s a doctor, and you grew up doing manual labor?[/quote]
there have been quite a few baffling ‘oh by the ways’ throughout this thread.
[quote]dave670 wrote:
[quote]flipcollar wrote:
You completely lack empathy with women if you think any of this is actually related to how women see men. Bruce Lee? What woman your age even knows who the fuck Bruce Lee was? Maybe a vague familiarity with the name?
And every man is up against discrimination in the dating world. I’ve been shot down by women who say they don’t like muscular guys. Plenty of women prefer ‘fluffy’ dudes. Often they can be persuaded by a killer personality, but not always. Some girls won’t date a dude under 6’0. Some girls won’t date a guy with a beard. Some won’t date a guy without one. Women are going to be discriminating if they have any sense of self-worth. And really, discriminating is an inappropriate word for this. It’s just preference. [/quote]
Well, we, as men, have a tendency to forget that women are less likely to be attracted to a man at a physical level, or at least for that to be the overriding component in the relationship. So often I think it’s just down to whether they “like you” or not. If they view you as immature physically, they’re likely to associate that to patterns of behavior in their own mind, and get the impression that you’ll just be a fuckboy with the maturity of a 17-year old and raging hormones.
Then there’s the exceptions, like Michael Cera, Jared Leto (when he was young), Justin Bieber. These are “men” who have carved out futures and done quite well for themselves, and I daresay they have gotten laid more than me or anyone on this board.
Maybe I just need to be famous?
At present, I can’t tell whether when girls say I’m “cute” whether that means that they would fuck me or if I’m cute in the teddy bear sense. Whichever way, my testosterone jumps like crazy when I hear that sort of shit, but I don’t like to be excited for nothing.
Anyways, I have two options - be patient and wait until I look way older and don’t need confidence as much because my appearance alone can sell me, or try the whole Doogie Hauser thing.
True story - the same thing happened to my dad. He was a doctor, and when he was first starting out his career (in his 20s) he looked young too. When he saw a patient, he or she would often ask if the real doctor was going to come in. He obviously didn’t give a fuck, maybe I need to learn something from my old man.
[/quote]
TOO… MUCH… THINKING! Your theorizing and intellectual shenanigans alone imply you are out of touch socially and have no idea what the hell is going on in dating and romance and show you have little experience and interaction with women and people generally! Did you do your homework by going to the all at prime time and seeing how many ordinary men and schlubs are walking around with women and how few strikingly virile and talented men are out there, and nearly everyone keeps dating and mating?
You just need to become famous, eh? Do the rest of us need to do so too? Such is a thought of a man who really needs to get around more people, as said before, or maybe you missed that useful piece of advice. If you were around more people socially, you likely wouldn’t be saying such nonsense.
You mention rare, talented, good looking, and lucky men like Jared Leto, Bruce Lee, and Justin Beiber, like many men who believe they are flawed and take cues from the media on what they should be like or have to be like to get a woman.
I did all that sort of theorizing when I was depressed and self-hating. If only I were in a powerful position… If only I were born to a powerful family… If only I were rich… If only I had more connections…
I was my own worst enemy from day one in the dating game. Even in high school there was a girl to whom I said no more than hello that one time said about me to two of my friends, “That guy can get girls but he acts like he can’t.”
REPEAT: this woman never said more than hello to me and we didn’t know each other from a hole in the wall. But women can read men, particularly if they are pretty and social. And this woman sensed the lack of confidence and assertiveness.
If you want to come up with dumb shit in defense of being your own worst enemy go ahead. Otherwise get off the TV and throw away the funny papers and get around more people and find a real-life woman who will date a skinny manual laborer.
[quote]BrickHead wrote:
[quote]dave670 wrote:
[quote]flipcollar wrote:
You completely lack empathy with women if you think any of this is actually related to how women see men. Bruce Lee? What woman your age even knows who the fuck Bruce Lee was? Maybe a vague familiarity with the name?
And every man is up against discrimination in the dating world. I’ve been shot down by women who say they don’t like muscular guys. Plenty of women prefer ‘fluffy’ dudes. Often they can be persuaded by a killer personality, but not always. Some girls won’t date a dude under 6’0. Some girls won’t date a guy with a beard. Some won’t date a guy without one. Women are going to be discriminating if they have any sense of self-worth. And really, discriminating is an inappropriate word for this. It’s just preference. [/quote]
Well, we, as men, have a tendency to forget that women are less likely to be attracted to a man at a physical level, or at least for that to be the overriding component in the relationship. So often I think it’s just down to whether they “like you” or not. If they view you as immature physically, they’re likely to associate that to patterns of behavior in their own mind, and get the impression that you’ll just be a fuckboy with the maturity of a 17-year old and raging hormones.
Then there’s the exceptions, like Michael Cera, Jared Leto (when he was young), Justin Bieber. These are “men” who have carved out futures and done quite well for themselves, and I daresay they have gotten laid more than me or anyone on this board.
Maybe I just need to be famous?
At present, I can’t tell whether when girls say I’m “cute” whether that means that they would fuck me or if I’m cute in the teddy bear sense. Whichever way, my testosterone jumps like crazy when I hear that sort of shit, but I don’t like to be excited for nothing.
Anyways, I have two options - be patient and wait until I look way older and don’t need confidence as much because my appearance alone can sell me, or try the whole Doogie Hauser thing.
True story - the same thing happened to my dad. He was a doctor, and when he was first starting out his career (in his 20s) he looked young too. When he saw a patient, he or she would often ask if the real doctor was going to come in. He obviously didn’t give a fuck, maybe I need to learn something from my old man.
[/quote]
TOO… MUCH… THINKING! [/quote]
This, really. Furthermore, it’s garbage thinking to boot. The mind consults the mind about the mind and the mind is full of shit.
Assuming you’re actually capable of absorbing and applying any of what’s being said in this thread, just go fucking DO something. Forget all the crazy, imagined subtext. Fucking do something. Preferably something that has a reasonable expectation of success.
If it doesn’t work after a reasonable adult time frame, apply some critical thinking based in actual evidence and hard results (i.e. not some pseudoscientific shit you dream up and cobble together from the internet) make adjustments and fucking do something else.
Dammit dude, it’s not actually all that complicated.
[quote]flipcollar wrote:
Women are going to be discriminating if they have any sense of self-worth.[/quote]
Nailed it. It’s no different with men either.
Tell me OP,
If you were a girl, would you want to date a guy that lacks discrimination because he is desperate for a relationship? Would you date someone that is only with you because he is insecure and craves a relationship with someone? I wouldn’t even sleep with someone like that. When you’re a guy, a desperate one-night stand calling you 37 times a day is mostly annoying. When you’re female, I can only imagine that it would be downright frightening. This is why so many guys try PUA, approach 1000 girls, and get mad when it doesn’t work. If you telegraph desperation each and every time, you’re probably going to get rejected 1000 times.
Don’t even try and rationalize this one, either. Every time I try to steer things towards the topic of getting your life in order, it always end up coming back to your physical and sexual/romantic insecurities. Getting a girl(s) won’t fix your insecurities either. I’ve been there. It’s never enough.
Here’s a pro-tip:
Your life is in the shitter right now. If you’re spending more time worrying about these honestly trivial matters when your life is in shambles, then you seriously need to re-think your priorities. Take this as a wake-up call.
I had to reach rock bottom to realize that. As all my friends started to drift away, I can still remember what the last friend to leave said to me: “Everybody falls into a mud puddle at times. Most people will leave you, but your friends will try to help you out of that mud puddle. But you have to try. If you don’t get up, and pull your friends in instead, they will leave too. In the end, only you can pull yourself out of the puddle.”
Wise words.
[quote]Apoklyps wrote:
I had to reach rock bottom to realize that. As all my friends started to drift away, I can still remember what the last friend to leave said to me: “Everybody falls into a mud puddle at times. Most people will leave you, but your friends will try to help you out of that mud puddle. But you have to try. If you don’t get up, and pull your friends in instead, they will leave too. In the end, only you can pull yourself out of the puddle.”
[/quote]
Dave,
I was the awkward skinny dude throughout my teenage years. I feel for you, I really do. I’m not sure I would enjoy hanging out with you but I wish you well. Please, please talk to someone offline. Your dad, a counselor - the criteria they have to fulfill are these:
- they have to be someone you look up to.
- they have to take you seriously but also tell you what to do. Neither “toughen up, you faggot” nor “oh, I’m so sorry for you” will do. What you really lack is a role model. And please, please stop posting here for the time being - it’s obvious how little this helps.
[quote]nighthawkz wrote:
Dave,
I was the awkward skinny dude throughout my teenage years. I feel for you, I really do. I’m not sure I would enjoy hanging out with you but I wish you well. Please, please talk to someone offline. Your dad, a counselor - the criteria they have to fulfill are these:
- they have to be someone you look up to.
- they have to take you seriously but also tell you what to do. Neither “toughen up, you faggot” nor “oh, I’m so sorry for you” will do. What you really lack is a role model. And please, please stop posting here for the time being - it’s obvious how little this helps.
[/quote]
I have no one to talk to. I am not on speaking terms with my dad, and I cannot afford a counselor. Furthermore I’m not a teenager, I’m going to be 22 in May. I don’t think being skinny is what makes it awkward either, puberty has nothing to do with skinniness. I got dealt the shitty genetics that means that I’m not getting laid until 40
You wouldn’t want to hang out with me? Yeah i guess i wouldn’t want to hang out with a pubertal pansy boy either. The trigger is looking very friendly these days
Peace out
Fix your own life first before you start worrying about getting women. How are you going to bring someone else into your life and support them when you can’t even support yourself? It’s been a month and a half since you’ve made this thread. You’ve had 300+ good responses and yet nothing has changed (apart from you quitting your job and finding a new one). You need to stop thinking and start doing something.
[quote]dave670 said:
You wouldn’t want to hang out with me? Yeah i guess i wouldn’t want to hang out with a pubertal pansy boy either. The trigger is looking very friendly these days
Peace out [/quote]
Dude, it has nothing to do with how you look. I’m ugly as sin and I’m married to a MILF like you wouldn’t believe.
[quote]StevenF wrote:
[quote]dave670 said:
You wouldn’t want to hang out with me? Yeah i guess i wouldn’t want to hang out with a pubertal pansy boy either. The trigger is looking very friendly these days
Peace out [/quote]
Dude, it has nothing to do with how you look. I’m ugly as sin and I’m married to a MILF like you wouldn’t believe. [/quote]
POIDH
does your mrs know you posted a picture of her? My girl would go fucking mental if she knew
[quote]StevenF wrote:
And she goes to the gym. [/quote]
I’ve got one of those!
[quote]Yogi wrote:
does your mrs know you posted a picture of her? My girl would go fucking mental if she knew[/quote]
she said I’m so sweet and handsome.
Bravo, StevenF - you ain’t a liar and good on ya
StevenF and Push: Are your wimminz natural readheads or not? My wife is actually blonde, but she’s spent years as a redhead. Most of our friends think that’s her natural color. (Although it’s currently purple.)
[quote]dave670 wrote:
I have no one to talk to. I am not on speaking terms with my dad, and I cannot afford a counselor. Furthermore I’m not a teenager, I’m going to be 22 in May. I don’t think being skinny is what makes it awkward either, puberty has nothing to do with skinniness. I got dealt the shitty genetics that means that I’m not getting laid until 40
You wouldn’t want to hang out with me? Yeah i guess i wouldn’t want to hang out with a pubertal pansy boy either. The trigger is looking very friendly these days
Peace out [/quote]
- Go to AA if you have to. Find someone. This should be doable if you keep looking.
- Many things can make you feel awkward. For you and me, it is (was) being skinny. Other people are fat, have bad skin, stutter… It’s not so much how that shapes other people’s opinion but your own. You THINK it’s a big deal, so it automatically becomes one. Dude, I was just lucky enough to eventually run into a proactive girl who liked the way I played the guitar. Who knows how long I would have stayed a virgin otherwise. I was LUCKY.
- It’s not about your appearance, it’s about the way you seem to have only one topic - “I suck”.
Back to my original point - talk to someone. I don’t think the internet can help you.