While browsing the web, I came across an article that I found entertaining. Since T-Nation doesn’t allow links to other training sites to be posted, I copied the article to here.
Enjoy.
STUART MCROBERT IS TERRIFIED OF HIS OWN FUCKING SHADOW.
His entire training philosophy, from his Brawn books, to Lose Fat, Get Fit, to his myriad articles, centers around the central premise of fear. McRobert is afraid of overtraining. He’s afraid of “dangerous exercises”. He’s afraid of injury. He’s afraid of cameras (has anyone EVER seen a picture of this “guru”?) He’s probably afraid of a litany of other things as well, but I’ve no interest in enumerating the lot of them. The main problem with this first point, other than the glaring issue of the fact that he’s a massive, bloody vagina, is the fact that he’s been able to spread his disgusting tripe all over bookstores and the Internet for going on 20 years, leaving a pile of slack-jawed pussies, lowered testosterone levels, and heightened serum cortisol levels in his wake. As such, he can go fuck himself.
HE’S COMPLETELY PREOCCUPIED WITH GENETICS.
McRobert has espoused that everyone train within their genetic potential for the entirety of his career. There are some obvious problems with this approach- namely, it automatically sets arbitrary limits and assumes failure, fails to give an adequate standard by which one could gauge one’s level of genetic fitness for bodybuilding, predicates his approach on a system of somatotyping that was abandoned and ridiculed by every single accredited person in the medical community decades ago, and apparently never heard of the idea that ontogenic adaptation and evolution occurs. Thus, he’s either willfully ignorant of reality, or is deliberately utilizing the public forum he has built to deliberately mislead people. He should begin fucking himself, stat.
HE COINED THE TERM “HARDGAINER.”
Though he coined this term, he at no point demonstrated conclusively a manner by which one could objectively determine one’s self to be one, thereby creating legions of pasty-faced assholes who will blather on about being hardgainers simply because they’ve never trained hard a day in their lives, their diets suck shit, they don’t squat or deadlift, and they think a workout routine consists of milling about Nautilus equipment for 45 minutes a day, three times a week. McRobert and his legions of hardgainers can go fuck themselves- they’re pussies though, so it won’t be the epic, Max Hardcore fucking they deserve.
HE ESPOUSES SAFE TRAINING.
What the fuck should be safe about training? If one’s life is not in imminent peril, where’s one’s motivation to lift a given weight? Furthermore, what the fuck is fun about being safe? What kid likes to wear a helmet when he rides a bike? What person likes to drive at or below the posted speed limit? What person likes watered-down alcohol? What person wants to box their friends wearing adequate protective gear? I’ll tell you who- desperately boring, testosterone-deficient, slack-jawed pussies who fear innovation, vibrance, and anything interesting, and who wouldn’t know a good time if ten topless, big-tittied sluts in micro-mini jean skirts awakened them from a dead sleep with the promise of 6 weeks of nonstop oral pleasure and drunken fisticuffs. The type of person who’s favorite color is beige and thinks that Barry Manilow is acceptable music to fuel a lifting session. You know who doesn’t like safe training? Anyone who wants to win a lifting competition, succeed in life, snap necks and cash checks, bend a chick over the counter at Denny’s in front of a bevy of startled onlookers and then smile for the camera phones clicking away while wondering the name of the chick he’s penetrating. Angry, misanthropic, tattooed and goateed people who think that Godsmack is easy-listening music and who could total elite without gear, half asleep, and recovering from the flu, that’s who. Both safety and Stuart McRobert can go fuck themselves.
HE’S EVIDENTLY NEVER HEARD OF THE BULGARIAN OLYMPIC WEIGHTLIFTING TEAM.
McRobert posted a “Ten Commandments” online, ostensibly to further fuck with the hearts and minds of bodybuilding aficionados everywhere, in which three of his commandments are “Weight train no more than three times a week”, “Don’t skimp on warmup sets”, and “Do no more than 20 work sets per workout (not per body part, per workout!).” Bereft of explanation, these statements hardly require any, as any attempt at elucidation would only highlight further his myriad shortcomings and illogic. As anyone who lifts knows the Bulgarians are all brutally strong, Olympic Gold medal snatching, muscular motherfuckers from a nation so shit-poor and awful that in spite of the fact that it’s located right next to the Uber-shithole Turkey, its population is actually decreasing as its population goes anywhere else. The Bulgarians are hardly known for being a physically powerful people, yet in spite of their seeming genetic shortfall, they’ve amassed huge numbers of Olympic medals by virtue of the fact that they train harder than everyone. Bulgarians train 6 days a week, for 6 to 8 hours a day, most of which is 85% of their one rep max or greater. Thus, they’re doing “unsafe” exercises with hideously “unsafe” weights, for exponentially greater amounts of time than the wise Mr. McRobert suggests. Furthermore, according to Leo Costa, they barely warm up at all. Thus, they are living proof that McRobert is a pussy, and he should go fuck himself.
HE HAS HORRIFYINGLY LOW STANDARDS.
He thinks that a man of average height (which we’ll assume is 5’10"), at ““just” 190 pounds and 10% bodyfat will drop the jaws of almost everyone,” and that such a physique “would have won you big contests 40+ years ago.” This statement is patently absurd, for a wide variety of reasons. First, bodybuilders of the 1980s and 1990s were, by and large, well over 190 lbs, with the exception of perhaps Flavio Baccianini. He was practically a fucking midget however, so that hardly counts. Second, 10% bodyfat, for anyone under 280 lbs, is hardly impressive. Thus, McRobert sets the bar low and encourages his trainees to aim lower, due to their genetics. Stuart McRobert and genetics can go fuck themselves.
HIS DIET ADVICE BLOWS.
McRobert advocates the consumption of less than one gram of protein per pound of bodyweight. Given that most paleolithic dieting authors, who are hardly bodybuilding enthusiasts, advocate protein consumption in excess of this, McRobert is an ass. If humans in the wild readily consume up to 65% (according to Loren Codain) of their daily calories in the form of protein, it stands to reason that modern trainees should do, at the very least, the same. Apparently, McRobert thinks that he knows better, in spite of the fact that he couldn’t match any Paleolithic human in any contest of strength or endurance. I’m sure there’s a bisexual Paleolithic man somewhere on the planet who wouldn’t mind helping ol’ Stu go fuck himself.
HE ESPOUSES AMUSINGLY INFREQUENT TRAINING.
McRobert actually typed the following words: “While it seems to be easier, at least for some people, to build strength on infrequent training schedules where a given exercise or bodypart is trained less often than once a week, many people seem to need a bit more frequency-twice every 7-10 days or so per bodypart, though not necessarily the same frequency for each area-in order to produce muscle growth.” That just happened. Who get better at something by doing less of it? The answer: NO-FUCKING-ONE. If you think HIT is the answer, it’s because you’re less of a man than RuPaul and you think that training might give you ugly, big muscles. You shouldn’t be reading this site- you should be on an anorexic-friendly site wherein everyone cheers you on while you starve yourself. No one has ever gotten better or bigger by doing less of anything, unless you’re a circus fat man or you were doing way too much of the wrong fucking thing, and you started doing the right thing. McRobert and infrequent training advocates can go fuck themselves ever 7-10 days. Fucking retards.
HE THINKS YOU’RE AS BIG A PUSSY AS HE IS.
McRobert recommends you eschew singles, doubles, and triples, because you might get hurt! God forfuckingbid you get stronger, but you might hurt yourself in the process. Apparently having never even heard of the stock market, or being a sole advocate of low risk/low yield mutual funds, McRobert thinks that lifting like the biggest pussy of all time will make you slightly stronger, very slowly. While he’s very slowly getting stronger, he can very slowly ease his own cock into his ass and go fuck himself. No fucking risk, no goddamned reward. Go big, or get the fuck out of the gym and let the men handle the lifting.
HE CLAIMS YOU SHOULD ONLY DEADLIFT WITH A FLAT BACK.
Oh yeah? Ever seen Andy Bolton dead 1000+? I have, and the very last thing that was employed was a flat back. Certainly, in training, it’s something to which one should aspire, but when you’re busting ass, Brooks Kubik and Andy Bolton both agree- GET THE FUCKING WEIGHT OFF THE GROUND, AND FUCK YOUR LOWER BACK. McRobert and his bitch-ass lower back can go fuck themselves.
If you found this article offensive, feel free to go fuck yourself. You probably lack the mental acuity to understand the points I’ve made, the courage to anally rape yourself, or the strength to take yourself by force, but I still wholeheartedly encourage you to fuck yourself good and hard. Just be careful to make it an abbreviated session, as you wouldn’t want to overtrain.
I don’t find this article offensive in any way. That being said, when I finished reading it I had the overwhelming desire to go fuck myself, which I did, aggressively and with malice aforethought. I did so for a long time and while I fear that I may have overfucked myself, I already feel recovered. I may go fuck myself again and do what’s known in some circles as a “heavy triple”. I am a human, and while I do not live in the wild, I plan on eating more than one gram of protein per pound of bodyweight.
I don’t mind his books. It’s true he seems to say the same thing 18 times on every page and then 20 more times through the book, but I do agree with lifting more intensely and not following a bodybuilder’s supposed routine from a magazine, but his advice is best heeded by 18 year-olds just starting.
Also, yeah, I’d like to see a picture of him after all this time too.
[quote]Nards wrote:
I don’t mind his books. It’s true he seems to say the same thing 18 times on every page and then 20 more times through the book, but I do agree with lifting more intensely and not following a bodybuilder’s supposed routine from a magazine, but his advice is best heeded by 18 year-olds just starting.
Also, yeah, I’d like to see a picture of him after all this time too.[/quote]
I keep hearing all of this crap about not following pro workouts in magazines and it makes no sense to me. I buy those magazines…and usually any actual routines given are not written as some “how to” for beginners…and they shouldn’t be.
I mean, look at how some of these newbs act on this forum. Synergy’s thread in the bodybuilding forum is a great example of how him writing what he does NOW leads to people with much less experience acting as if this is how he trained to get that big in the first place.
Do you blame this website for that?
If not, then why blame magazines?
If what the OP posted is true, McRobert sounds quite a bit like a mish mash of Casey Butt and one of the authors from this site.
[quote]Professor X wrote:
If what the OP posted is true, McRobert sounds quite a bit like a mish mash of Casey Butt and one of the authors from this site.[/quote]
[quote]Professor X wrote:
If what the OP posted is true, McRobert sounds quite a bit like a mish mash of Casey Butt and one of the authors from this site.[/quote]
Moderator intervention detected.[/quote]
No, I just doubt his name needs to be said for people to know who I mean.
Thats guruism. Spout off a bunch of bullshit, keep people from ever finding out why they don’t get results (cause their knowledge and application is based on the aforementioned bullshit), then sell them your next big steaming pile with the hype that this next one is “the real deal, no wait…The REALLY Real deal!”.
It is a modus operandi that has been employed for quite some time in the “Fitness” industry.
[quote]Nards wrote:
I don’t mind his books. It’s true he seems to say the same thing 18 times on every page and then 20 more times through the book, but I do agree with lifting more intensely and not following a bodybuilder’s supposed routine from a magazine, but his advice is best heeded by 18 year-olds just starting.
Also, yeah, I’d like to see a picture of him after all this time too.[/quote]
I keep hearing all of this crap about not following pro workouts in magazines and it makes no sense to me. I buy those magazines…and usually any actual routines given are not written as some “how to” for beginners…and they shouldn’t be.
I mean, look at how some of these newbs act on this forum. Synergy’s thread in the bodybuilding forum is a great example of how him writing what he does NOW leads to people with much less experience acting as if this is how he trained to get that big in the first place.
Do you blame this website for that?
If not, then why blame magazines?
If what the OP posted is true, McRobert sounds quite a bit like a mish mash of Casey Butt and one of the authors from this site.[/quote]
Your post is unclear. You say not following the pro’s workouts makes no sense to you, then you go on to say that you shouldn’t copy someone else’s routine.
I found that when I was training naturally and starting out his advice was pretty much spot on for me- a six foot two 155LB ectomorph.
I think he’s right to push to avoid injury as its pretty hard to train and gain when your injured (speaking from experience) and I struggled to train productively more than 3 times a week without steroids anyway, unless I deliberately cut the volume down. A lot of his advice held true for me as I went from 155LB to 230LB at 20%BF naturally, I’m between 220-230LB at about 13% BF now and I use AAS (Mcrobert didn’t suggest the AAS, that was my decision LOL)
He is quite old fashioned and his articles are not particularly ‘exciting’ this topped off with the fact he is against steroids and supplements gives him a limited following and no place in many magazines and sites like this. I know he claimed to have dead lifted 400x20 or something which is more than I can do.
To be honest I think if Stuart Mcrobert was the worst weight training/ bodybuilding guru out there the training world would be a better place.
Whoever wrote that is more of an idiot than the guy he’s slating. Number 4 is fucking stupid and on 7 it comes across that he thinks that paleo is the holy grail of diet.
Talking about the bulgarian weightlifting team these days is enough to make my brain explode in a shower of rainbow coloured dildos. Who gives a crap if there are people out there smashing weights twice a day six days a week. The burnout rate is high, it takes years to build up to training that way (so showing them to some newbie is stupid as most would just try and copy it) and it takes a good coach to keep your form decent enough not to completely break yourself in a few weeks. Not to mention that the olympic lifts respond differently to training than the slow lifts. Telling your average natural trainer to look at these guys to see how to train is ridiculous.
To clarify, I have nothing against Bulgarian style training and the principles when applied properly, but for average Joe Loserface it’s impractical, reckless and reeks of impatience.
10 sucks as well, you should be trying to maintain a flat back when pulling, intentionally rounding it just messes you up quickly, if you’re one of the few who has no problems with this then great, but telling everyone to pull this way is beyond irresponsible.
I haven’t read any of Stuart McRobert’s stuff so maybe he deserves a shitty rant, but whoever wrote this gives more of a damn about hyperbole than getting any kind of a point across.
[quote]Nards wrote:
I don’t mind his books. It’s true he seems to say the same thing 18 times on every page and then 20 more times through the book, but I do agree with lifting more intensely and not following a bodybuilder’s supposed routine from a magazine, but his advice is best heeded by 18 year-olds just starting.
Also, yeah, I’d like to see a picture of him after all this time too.[/quote]
I keep hearing all of this crap about not following pro workouts in magazines and it makes no sense to me. I buy those magazines…and usually any actual routines given are not written as some “how to” for beginners…and they shouldn’t be.
I mean, look at how some of these newbs act on this forum. Synergy’s thread in the bodybuilding forum is a great example of how him writing what he does NOW leads to people with much less experience acting as if this is how he trained to get that big in the first place.
Do you blame this website for that?
If not, then why blame magazines?
If what the OP posted is true, McRobert sounds quite a bit like a mish mash of Casey Butt and one of the authors from this site.[/quote]
You forgot to mention that most of the “pro’s routines” in some magazines are ghost written and not really how that given pro actually trains. I remember hearing from a former senior editor of a pretty big mag that he was supposed to interview Dexter Jackson on his ab training and came to find out that Dex doesn’t train abs directly, so he was instructed just to make something up. If someone isn’t smart enough to figure out if they should train a certain way or not then I don’t feel sorry for them.
[quote]Nards wrote:
I don’t mind his books. It’s true he seems to say the same thing 18 times on every page and then 20 more times through the book, but I do agree with lifting more intensely and not following a bodybuilder’s supposed routine from a magazine, but his advice is best heeded by 18 year-olds just starting.
Also, yeah, I’d like to see a picture of him after all this time too.[/quote]
I keep hearing all of this crap about not following pro workouts in magazines and it makes no sense to me. I buy those magazines…and usually any actual routines given are not written as some “how to” for beginners…and they shouldn’t be.
I mean, look at how some of these newbs act on this forum. Synergy’s thread in the bodybuilding forum is a great example of how him writing what he does NOW leads to people with much less experience acting as if this is how he trained to get that big in the first place.
Do you blame this website for that?
If not, then why blame magazines?
If what the OP posted is true, McRobert sounds quite a bit like a mish mash of Casey Butt and one of the authors from this site.[/quote]
Your post is unclear. You say not following the pro’s workouts makes no sense to you, then you go on to say that you shouldn’t copy someone else’s routine.
[/quote]
The point was that what someone is doing RIGHT NOW has NEVER meant that this is how they got to that size in the first place.
That means you can not blame magazines because newbies can’t figure that shit out.
How I train right now works for me. It may not have worked for me when I was only 190lbs.
Following what ANYONE is doing right now without looking into what they did before is retarded.
[quote]Nards wrote:
I don’t mind his books. It’s true he seems to say the same thing 18 times on every page and then 20 more times through the book, but I do agree with lifting more intensely and not following a bodybuilder’s supposed routine from a magazine, but his advice is best heeded by 18 year-olds just starting.
Also, yeah, I’d like to see a picture of him after all this time too.[/quote]
I keep hearing all of this crap about not following pro workouts in magazines and it makes no sense to me. I buy those magazines…and usually any actual routines given are not written as some “how to” for beginners…and they shouldn’t be.
I mean, look at how some of these newbs act on this forum. Synergy’s thread in the bodybuilding forum is a great example of how him writing what he does NOW leads to people with much less experience acting as if this is how he trained to get that big in the first place.
Do you blame this website for that?
If not, then why blame magazines?
If what the OP posted is true, McRobert sounds quite a bit like a mish mash of Casey Butt and one of the authors from this site.[/quote]
You forgot to mention that most of the “pro’s routines” in some magazines are ghost written and not really how that given pro actually trains. I remember hearing from a former senior editor of a pretty big mag that he was supposed to interview Dexter Jackson on his ab training and came to find out that Dex doesn’t train abs directly, so he was instructed just to make something up. If someone isn’t smart enough to figure out if they should train a certain way or not then I don’t feel sorry for them.[/quote]
Agreed…and this is why I don’t read Flex because this is common place. I feel that MD does a better job of actually interviewing the pros even if it is still heavily edited.
[quote]Professor X wrote:
Agreed…and this is why I don’t read Flex because this is common place. I feel that MD does a better job of actually interviewing the pros even if it is still heavily edited.[/quote]
I actually started reading Flex again recently - just for the pro coverage. Who gives a shit about the workouts - it’s all the same basic shit anyway…
For newbs - whatever, they’re clueless anyway. They’ll eventually figure it out…or they won’t…lol…
That article is funny - it reads like a collaboration between TC, Professor X and Bonez…
[quote]Professor X wrote:
Agreed…and this is why I don’t read Flex because this is common place. I feel that MD does a better job of actually interviewing the pros even if it is still heavily edited.[/quote]
I actually started reading Flex again recently - just for the pro coverage. Who gives a shit about the workouts - it’s all the same basic shit anyway…
For newbs - whatever, they’re clueless anyway. They’ll eventually figure it out…or they won’t…lol… [/quote]
I don’t care at all about the workouts but MD does a better job of all pro coverage in my opinion.
I am actually now wondering who is actually reading the mags to get workout routines yet is finding advice that won’t help them grow.
Does anyone have a specific example of these routines that are simply so ridiculous that no newb should try them? Even the ghostwritten crap is usually written on a basic level and if this is a matter of some 140lbs newb doing Lee Priest’s biceps routine, then I agree. Guys who can’t figure this shit out ARE NOT CUT OUT FOR THIS.
[quote]Professor X wrote:
I don’t care at all about the workouts but md does a better job of all pro coverage in my opinion.
I am actually now wondering who is actually reading the mags to get workout routines yet is finding advice that won’t help them grow.
Does anyone have a specific example of these routines that are simply so ridiculous that no newb should try them? Even the ghostwritten crap is usually written on a basic level and if this is a matter of some 140lbs newb doing Lee Priest’s biceps routine, then I agree. Guys who can’t figure this shit out ARE NOT CUT OUT FOR THIS.[/quote]
SHUT IT QUEER!!
Lol…just funnin’ ya X - it’s way early Sunday morning and I’m still feeling the effects of last night…lol…
And yea - agreed - the workout routines aren’t anything really outlandish - not at all. How the fuck is a barbell curl or shoulder press something that’s WAY over the heads of …well… ANYONE!?
McRobert’s a nice man. He’s popular with a particular segment of the iron crowd - those who think they’re hard gainers. He’s had a history of injuries due to improper lifting form among other things. In his defense, he’s trying to help those who want to build muscle while avoiding costly mistakes that could sideline a long lifting career (I’m a victim of my own awful lifting practices as a youth, and deal with old injuries to this day). In criticism of him, I don’t believe anyone who uses his methods exclusively will ever become a champion bodybuilder, let alone one who even breaks into local contests.
–
Under heavy art direction, I illustrated the cover of one of his recent books. He later realized less than spectacular sales, and came back to me for a re-do.
[quote]Iron Dwarf wrote:
Under heavy art direction, I illustrated the cover of one of his recent books. He later realized less than spectacular sales, and came back to me for a re-do.
This was the initial published cover.
[/quote]
That’s really cool ID…your work turns up in interesting places.
