I don’t know. I like the foods, I just don’t want them really. My brain knows that they are palatible (“tasty”), and it wants them. When I see the food, it is difficult for me to resist.
My brain makes excuses a lot. “Oh, its not that bad”, “Well its hot out, i can have a bit of ice cream”, and also lately ive been stressed out with having a lot of work I need to do (but Ive realised its actually not that much now, so thats less of a factor, or Im just used to it)
But I think part of it is that im not “doing anything” with my diet.
When I was lean bulking 2024-2025, I was ON a diet (mild surplus, and I ate healthy because I was on a specific diet and needed to get protein it). When I was doing mass, (well, maybe it wasn’t super healthy, but i got plenty of protein it), I was on a diet, and I almost ALWAYS got my protein in because i was ON a diet. But now, it doesn’t feel like Im ON a diet, im just “eating”. The whole “eating to fuel training” struggles to take root in my mind, and my mind just passes it off subconciously (I think) as eatwhatever, don’t need to track calories.
And with tracking calories, I think ive just realised something; Ive tracked calories for so long (since I was 13), that I don’t think I’ve developed enough of a sense of what a healthy amount of food I should eat is. And scratch the number 13, maybe 12, although I was tracking for unhealthy reasons (I was under the awful delusion that getting fat is a good thing and something I should actively work towards…)
@BrandonCrawford Oh I don’t mind at all, I enjoy being able to have actual discussion.
I think on major component of my lack of healthy eating, is just that: HEALTHY EATING.
So Im changing that. Im meal prepping at the moment; I’m cooking rice (4.5 cups cooked volume), and steaming a broccoli (chopped, first I will steam the main part, and then the stems. They are good too, hopefully. Steaming vegetable is the best way to make them good. Well, that and lots of butter, haha.
There is this æthereal beauty that is hard to describe. It is a feeling given by God, in the realisation of how perfect everything is. Away from all of the noise and clutter of the world, in the midst of everything and nothing, it all slows down and you feel the æthereal prescense of God.
Well I mean its more complex. I guess its just common sense in reality: I can’t control what thoughts arise, I can only control how I respond to them. And a lot of time I give in to the thoughts I shouldn’t give in to. How do I push back?
You said you want leanness more than you want the food. If that is true, there shouldn’t be much difficulty in pushing back.
“Eat the food”
“Nah: I want to be lean”
Instead, you may need to do some introspection. Do you REALLY want the lean more than you want the food?
My diet has no plants in it. Why? Because, among other things, when I eat plants, my bowels bleed. I don’t want my bowels to bleed. When an opportunity arises to eat a yummy plant, it doesn’t take much for me to turn it down.
It may be worth seeing what your real priorities are.
! No. My desire to be lean is less than the desire to eat this crap.
I was thinking that these were the two polar answers. But that’s wrong.
Its not A or B. Its (A, C, D, E, F…) or B I choose from.
Being lean isn’t a priority. It would be nice to be lean, and I do want to be lean. But my desire for it is NOT greater in magnitude than the desire to eat these “Tasty” foods.
Il sleep on this, I need to go to bed. This is has been a frustratingly useful conversation.
To add onto this, I remember Pwn posted something about framing this as the “act of not doing” and I found it really helpful
For example if I wanted to get leaner, it is the act of not eating as much as I was. Those cravings (mostly food noise from being in a bulk) would come on and tempt me, I would have to commit the act of not eating. It was simple and I could just go find something else to do
The goal of mine; to be healthy as God intends, so I can become stronger and more athletic.
If God intends me to be leaner, so be it. If not, let it be so.
I can not expect this to be easy. I WILL need to push at this boulder to move it, to get myself into healthy habits. I am in full control of ALL my decisions and actions.
Today will be a good day.
Also I wish newspapers were cheap, apparently they are like expensive these days. I want my newspaper to sit down and read while I drink my tea (in lieu of coffee) in the morning.
Breakfast: Eggs, cheese, and what seems to be in my mind a “Struggle food” of some sort
2 eggs
2 oz mozzarella
2 tsp butter
and (cooked in water, since its oatmeal
1/2 cup oats
1/4 cup steamed broccoli stems
1 packet beef flavoring
----Total: 554 Kcal, 32g protein
Snack: I tried to make something… it didn’t turn out the way I imagined.
3 leaves of lettuce
1/2 cup spinach, microwaved (not store bought; I put a plate of spinach in the microwave until it was hot wet and shrivelled… uh… that sounds weird)
1 can tuna
1 pack olives
1 cup milk
----Total: 291 Kcal, 38g protein
It is so simple! You can’t get fat eating only healthy stuff really. Its so simple, its just not easy. Like physical labor, or even better, lifting. It is super simple, its just not easy.
Im pumped for this week. I can’t wait to test out my squat max. I expect it to be less than 275, but that’s okay; If its around 250 I will be happy. Its still a good number.
I can’t wait for the conditioning sessions, honestly. Especially the kettlebell, that’s something there. I want to start using them more, they seem very “natural”, in a way. Plus its great for the posterior chain, which always can be strengthened for benefit. I read in TB that a person did 100 KB swings at the end of each workout in lieu of deadlift, should I do that (or a scaled down version If I need)? I was thinking that I might need to scale down in reps because of the weight of the kettlebells, but I can just use a dumbbell for that, if I need.
I guess I would rather do KB swings then deadlift, so yes I would omit them. But I don’t really care that much, I could do deadlift or I could do kettlebell swings, if one of them is better than the other
If you aren’t deadlifting, the 100 swings works. I would consider getting in some heavy carries and loads during the conditioning as well. If deadlifting, 100 swings on top of that could be a bit much. I did a blend where I deadlifted on Wed and did swings on Friday while leaving Monday alone