Your Fight Story

Training
81

usually I try to keep to myself and I dont talk much in public.
I follow a quote that my grandpa recited to me
“Speak Softly and Carry a Big Stick,” he was a small man 5’3’’ and about 150 pounds but he was a bad ass .

anyways I was at a friends bar last night and some girl walked up to me grabbed my hand and dragged me to the floor wanting to dance.
I was way drunk I mean stupid drunk from a long night of bacardi with friends and I laughed at her and said,“you have got to be shitting me get outa here”

she walked away all hurt and I then danced with this one girl that came with us that night instead.

well race played a role in this cause the girl I rejected told her friends that was there that I didnt want to dance and talk to her cause she was black and the chick I was hanging on was mexican.
she didnt take into account that this girl was smoking hot and nice to boot and she was a typical nasty barfly.

anyways,I went to pee and I have 2 black dudes behind me talking bout whiteboy this cracker that am I too good for there girl and whatever.
one grabs me slams my head into the wall and I get mad threw him next to me and started kicking him while the other dudes punching me.
all this while my pecker is still out in the breeze.

well one my buddies come in pull dude off me and pull me out the bathroom cause I was going off blindly kicking guy with my steel toed boots.

ended up outside and fighting these 2 guys and my friends was like,if hes stupid enough to keep fighting and to keep talking crap let him get beat up.
well I dont remember much I know I was pulled off of somebody cause I was on top of him just ground and pound style,mainly forearms cause I didnt want to hurt my hands,my right elbow and forearm is bruised up though not so much on the skin but feels like inside is brused.I was thrown into a car and taken to my friends house.they did jump in when it was getting too out of control but I was allowed to get messed up pretty good.I think 2 more jumped in before my buddys came over though

I remember saying over and over “you think Im a bitch” I got your bitch lol

night ended,the girl I danced with and was hangin on thought I was stupid and a macho pig,however she was right there in my buddies room cleaning my drunk ass up and cleaning the scrapes on my back and head.

the rest of the night belongs in a different section here.
and she called me this morning to make sure I got home ok.

all in all it was a good night and not bad for a fat guy.
that earned me alot of respect though cause even though yes I was stupid but I didnt back down for nothing.

82

[quote]Judas wrote:
ZeusNathan wrote:
Judas wrote:
im from Australia and we have black people here who were natives but we killed most of em and stole there land, sorta like American Indians for all you yanks.

any way i was at a big party in a park with about 300 drunk teenagers and there were 4 abos (black australias we call them abos sort for aboriginals)and they were going around and just attacking guys smaller than them 4 on 1 and just knocking em out and stomping on there heads, i seen maybe 4 guys get taken out.

And then i was walking with this girl i had met and one of them shoulder barged me and i was like what the fuck cunt watch where ya going, and then kept walkin and went and sat down with this chick.

Then while i was sitting down the abo comes up to me like 2 meters away and starts screaming IM GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU CUNT and im sitting down and hes standing above me (im 6’2 85kgs 188 pounds and this dude was probably 5’8 210 pounds) and im thinkin head down cover up and he charged me and jumpin upper cutted me in the forehead.

Knocking me off my log that i was sitting on, must have broken his hand cos i timed it perfect landed right in the middle of my forehead, then he was in a sloppy top mount just throwing bombs like he wanted to kill me and i was covering up well took maybe 15-20 shots in the top and sides of the head none in the face.

Then i grabbed his neck and sorted rolled him over and got ontop of him and threw a right elbow as hard as i could and hit him in the side of the head and he went limp, i got pulled up to my feet by some guys i didnt know and they were like dude get the fuck outa here u fucked him up his mates are coming and i had blood pissing down my face from my forehead where he upper cutted me and i was concussed.

I could tell when i stood up was heaps punch drunk and had no legs on me so i stumbled into some bushes and lay down for a bit then i seen 3 abos running around the party screamin WHERE THE FUCK IS HE !!!

And i new i was safe and went back to my car and got a big knife out of my car then went back to the party with a hoody on and got my girl and went home, had a concussion for 4 days and some hair fell out where i took shots on the top of my head but i was alright first KO with a elbow.

“…must have broken his hand cos i timed it perfect landed right in the middle of my forehead…”

lol the mighty elbow
those shots to the head dont hurt, but they are damn annoying the next day.

yea i was fine just had a headache for a week, if he landed that upper cut in my nose or mouth i would have been ugly for life, i never been hit that hard before some one running and jumping and punching into your head while your seated. [/quote]

there is nothing more pussy than cheap shots.
i myself prefer lumps on my head than a lazy eye and a lip hanging down the side haha…

83

[quote]RustyShackleford wrote:

I bumrushed him and pushed him up against someone’s car.[/quote]

:expressionless:

man has got the GHEY

84

[quote]Sarpedon wrote:
RustyShackleford wrote:

I bumrushed him and pushed him up against someone’s car.

:expressionless:

man has got the GHEY

[/quote]

So do your profile photos, dickbreath.

85

girls girls, relax will ya? if u wanna scratch each others eyes out do it in your backyard. dont bring that sissy shit here.

86

[quote]ZeusNathan wrote:

ok
you discussed nothing about my statement
all you said was fuck shit stupid retarded bullshit and spelled respect mad weird
[/quote]

Yes i did. Well i’m pretty sure i did.
The reason i spelled respect wrong was as a joke. You know how gangbangers lik to rite liek dis. Was playing on that.
Ok i’m done.

87

lets take this to the next levevl and meet up and fight each other ufc rules 1 10 min round :slight_smile:

88

i call dibs on blazin dave!!! :slight_smile:

89

When I was stationed in Guam, I took aikido lessons for about 3-4 months. After I almost got my arm broke twice by overzealous training partners, and was ‘awarded’ my green belt when I paid my 4th months dues, I stopped going. My wife(fiancee at the time) would come and watch class, but not participate.

Fast forward a few months, and she had gone to the base club on the AF base, which held a country night on Saturdays(she was with her chick friends, I didn’t go cause I wasn’t much into country at the time).

So she’s sitting there with her friends, drinking and talking and whatnot. Some drunk comes up behind her, and is trying to talk to the people at the table behind her, but is so drunk he can barely stand and keeps spilling his beer on her. She told him to go sit down a few times, and he ignored her, kept spilling beer on her.

Finally she got pissed, stood up, turned him around, and told him to go sit his drunk ass down. He looks at her and says ‘You can’t tell me what to do!’ as he goes to poke her in the chest. She reaches over the top of his hand, and puts him in a sweet koto-gaeshi (wrist lock, twisting the wrist outward so the fingers come up), putting him on the floor in one move. A crowd instantly gathers, and she just holds him there with the wrist lock. He is whining and trying to get away, but she just keeps tweaking it a little to keep him still as she tells him very sweetly to go away and stop spilling beer on people.

The bouncers come running as the crowd gathers, see her holding the guy down, and walk away laughing hysterically. His own friends were even pointing and laughing. He agrees to go away, and she lets him up and sits back down. He stands up to applause and laughter, and shuffles off–didn’t see him the rest of the night.

Story was funny, but kinda pissed me off. I was the one paying for the stupid lessons, and to this day haven’t had the opportunity to use what I learned. She watches a few classes, and takes old boy down.

And yes, I know she was lucky she got it right, and I told her the same thing. She’s not afraid to stand up to a guy(she is 5’11"), and I keep telling her eventually she’s going to do it to a guy who doesn’t give a shit and cleans her clock.

Side note: she got in a fight with a chick when we were stationed on a ship, and the other girl came in trying to scratch. My wife just popped her right in the nose, and suddenly the chick didn’t want to fight anymore.

90

I was genetically fat

no one in my family has ever been strong

I liked a girl who liked lean guys.

I decided to defeat god himself by completely transforming myself into the sexiness that is me.

91

So there I was: in the cells of Mississipi State Pen, awaiting my doom…

No, it was not death row by the technical meaning, because I was only in prison for statutory rape in the 7th degree, but in terms of gang rivalry and prisoner warfare.

Yes, my life was in imminent danger. As the bell call struck the gong for the 2nd time, my bitch and I left our cell to the mess hall, where doom awaited me.

As the crowd entered the big room, I saw my rivals standing, staring, waiting…

Freddy “the JobBlow” Fingers, Willy “The Blade” Wonka, and Smiley “the Master” Bates were standing with the kind of glare in their eyes that you don’t forget without a few good Heinekens. And in Mississip’s prison, they only give you 1 Heineken a day. They can EAT MY A$$!!!

They rush me and pull out their switchblades. Quickly I bent down and grabbed, from my sock, my trusty shank that I carved out of sheet metal from the walls of my prison cell. After 6 years of the slammer, 2 of which were spent in the “Chokee,” I learned the ways of welding, sculpting, weaving, knitting, reading, and painting. (oh, and taking care of my bird Peppy)

So, there I was, shank in my hand and waiting for their rush. Luckily, they all came after me at once. I’m better at fighting more than one person at a time than just one. I quickly threw the shank into Freddy’s throat, choking him in his own blood. Smiley went behind me and put me in full nelson while Willy began punching me in the stomach and face. But, it wouldn’t last long because of my killer ab workouts that I would always do in my cell. I lifted my entire lower body and wrapped my legs around Willy’s neck and started squeezing (still being stuck in Smiley’s full nelson).

Willy went deathly purple and went to sleep, that was my cue. I reached back as far as I could (with the arm that I intentionally made dislocated specifically for this fight) and gouged Smiley’s eyes and ripped them out of their sockets. He fell to the ground…dead. The crowd was silent.

I smirked with pride as I looked over Smiley’s dead body and muttered, “who’s smiley’ing now?”

92

Most BS in any thread. And I thought the “e-lifting” around here was bad!

What’s funny is that guys who have been in fights won’t post here. People loving telling fight stories, but just not on command.

It’s like when I was a kid. People would say, “Show me some Karate.” Sort of a silly request.

“Tell me a fight story” is the same type of thing.

93

Some guy punched my (now ex)girlfriend.

I punched him so hard he fell down and didnt get straight back up

After kicking him a few times in the ribs the red mist lifted and I backed off to see if my girlfriend is ok.

At this point the guy staggers to his feet and fucks off.

My ex wants to chase him down the street and do him so damage and in holding her back I get smacked in the mouth.

Which pisses me off so I punch a phone box breaking both hands in the process so I have to spend 7hrs in Casulty because they have a policy of making drunk people wait all night (even if your being polite)

To top it off due to old scar tissue the Nurse tried to bandage the wrong fingers together which was annoying to say the least

True Story believe it or not

94

[quote]CaliforniaLaw wrote:
Most BS in any thread. And I thought the “e-lifting” around here was bad!

What’s funny is that guys who have been in fights won’t post here. People loving telling fight stories, but just not on command.

It’s like when I was a kid. People would say, “Show me some Karate.” Sort of a silly request.

“Tell me a fight story” is the same type of thing.

[/quote]

AGREED!

95

[quote]FightinIrish26 wrote:
I shot a man in Reno once, just to watch him die.

Shortest fight I was ever in.[/quote]

Johnny I thought you were dead

96

[quote]CaliforniaLaw wrote:
Most BS in any thread. And I thought the “e-lifting” around here was bad!

What’s funny is that guys who have been in fights won’t post here. People loving telling fight stories, but just not on command.

It’s like when I was a kid. People would say, “Show me some Karate.” Sort of a silly request.

“Tell me a fight story” is the same type of thing.

[/quote]

Everyone’s a hero on the internet.

I wonder what people do when they leave their houses, though…

97

[quote]FightinIrish26 wrote:
Everyone’s a hero on the internet.

I wonder what people do when they leave their houses, though…[/quote]

They cowardly back down, refusing to confront the person who cut in front of them in line. Trying to save face, they look over to their women and say, “Live to fight another day right?” “Oh, yes, dear, it’s just not worth,” the woman will tell her gelded partner.

98

[quote]CaliforniaLaw wrote:
FightinIrish26 wrote:
Everyone’s a hero on the internet.

I wonder what people do when they leave their houses, though…

They cowardly back down, refusing to confront the person who cut in front of them in line. Trying to save face, they look over to their women and say, “Live to fight another day right?” “Oh, yes, dear, it’s just not worth,” the woman will tell her gelded partner.[/quote]

LOL

99

Cuz you guys are so much tuffer by talking shit about shit talkers… A lot of these aren’t really worth bragging about. Most of them are basically “I beat up some drunk guy or some dumb kids and ran.” WhooOoooo he’s clearly trying to sound like he’s Bruce Lee.

What makes them even less impressive is that you see people saying they had friends or a girlfriend nearby. I don’t know about you but unless I have a good reason not to I better fight whoever the hell is trying to fuck with me or else my friends will look down on me somewhat. The threat of embarrassment makes it a lot easier to fight someone and having friends around makes you feel safe.

One guy in this thread said he ran to save some girl from a drunk guy that was harassing her and his friend was watching him the entire time ready to jump in. He also said he found out it was a domestic dispute, had to run and hide from authorities and he was lucky the other guy was drunk/missed him/whatever.

None of those circumstances listed sound like bragging.

Also who fights people just because they cut in front of you in a line? “Oh no I might have to wait a whole minute extra, I better knock this guy the fuck out and show him who’s boss.”

What really sounds like bragging is when someone is completely alone and could easily choose not to fight because no one besides the guy instigating is watching him.

Going by the logic of you two anyone who talks about fighting is a pussy and needs to get outside. If you guys really want to be tuff you’d stop posting at all because that means you are completely above silly e-fight discussions. You also wouldn’t ever talk about boxing because you’d be boxers and you’d never talk about being a soldier because you’d be one too. Any time you aren’t actively looking for fights and decide to talk about them instead you’re being a coward. Good job with that thinking.

100

I can projectile-vomit at will, so any time something happens, I spray the dude. It takes the fight right out of them.