"True love is hard to find, sometimes you think you have true love and then you catch the early flight home from San Diego and a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom blindfolded like a goddamn magic show ready to double team your girlfriend… " Old School
“Who wants a Mustache ride” -Super Troopers
“You’re the best He-bitch in my Man-stable. If I had two more manginas like you I’d be a Millionaire.”-Deuce Bigelow
"Wallace: Sons of Scotland! I am William Wallace!
Scotsman: William Wallace is seven feet tall!
Wallace: Yes, I’ve heard! Kills men by the hundreds! And if he were here, he’d consume the English with fireballs from his eyes…and bolts of lightning from his arse! (laughter) I AM William Wallace! And I see, a whole army of my countrymen, here in defiance of tyranny. You’ve come to fight as free men, and free men you are. What will you do with that freedom? Will you fight?
Scotsman: Fight? Against that? No, we will run, and we will live.
Wallace: Aye, fight and you may die. Run, and you’ll live. At least a while. And dying in your beds, many years from now, would you be willing to trade all the days from this day to that…for one chance…just ONE CHANCE to come back here to tell our enemy that they may take out lives, but they will never take OUR FREEDOM!!!"
“A first date is an interview”-Van Wilder
“Nobody Fucks with the Jesus” Big L
“Suck Me Beautiful” American Pie
“if we get caught laundrying money we’re not going to white collar resort prison. NO No No. We are going to federal pound-me-in-the-ass-prison.”
And finally from Good Will Hunting "Why shouldn’t I work for the N.S.A.? That’s a tough one, but I’ll give it a shot. Say I’m working at N.S.A. Somebody puts a code on my desk, something nobody else can break. So I take a shot at it and maybe I break it. And I’m real happy with myself, ‘cause I did my job well. But maybe that code was the location of some rebel army in North Africa or the Middle East. Once they have that location, they bomb the village where the rebels were hiding and fifteen hundred people I never had a problem with get killed. Now the politicians are sayin’, “Send in the marines to secure the area” ‘cause they don’t give a shit. It won’t be their kid over there, gettin’ shot. Just like it wasn’t them when their number was called, ‘cause they were pullin’ a tour in the National Guard. It’ll be some guy from Southie takin’ shrapnel in the ass. And he comes home to find that the plant he used to work at got exported to the country he just got back from. And the guy who put the shrapnel in his ass got his old job, ‘cause he’ll work for fifteen cents a day and no bathroom breaks. Meanwhile my buddy from Southie realizes the only reason he was over there was so we could install a government that would sell us oil at a good price. And of course the oil companies used the skirmish to scare up oil prices so they could turn a quick buck. A cute little ancillary benefit for them but it ain’t helping my buddy at two-fifty a gallon. And naturally they’re takin’ their sweet time bringin’ the oil back, and maybe even took the liberty of hiring an alcoholic skipper who likes to drink martinis and play slalom with the icebergs, and it ain’t too long ‘til he hits one, spills the oil and kills all the sea life in the North Atlantic. So my buddy’s out of work and he can’t afford to drive, so he’s got to walk to the job interviews, which sucks ‘cause the shrapnel in his ass is givin’ him chronic hemorrhoids. And meanwhile he’s starvin’ ‘cause every time he tries to get a bite to eat the only blue plate special they’re servin’ is North Atlantic scrod with Quaker State. So what do I think? I’m holdin’ out for somethin’ better. Why not just shoot my buddy, take his job and give it to his sworn enemy, hike up gas prices, bomb a village, club a baby seal, hit the hash pipe and join the National Guard? I could be elected president. "