[quote]twiceborn wrote:
@heyfool - Goddamn buddy, that sounds like the worst bit of luck ever. My hat’s off to you.
Just make sure you don’t pull a Jon Pall Sigmarsson and pop an aneurysm while deadlifting. [/quote]
that was a sad day in strongman … that I wasn’t alive to see
[quote]angry chicken wrote:
OK, I’ll play. In order of gruesomeness:
So when I got up, I asked a worker nearby, “Dude, am I bleeding?”. His reply was, “DUDE, you need to go to the hospital, right now!”. LOL The look on his face was priceless. Three surgeries later, six months off work, a little plastic, titanium and cadaver tissue and I was once again the handsome man you all know and luv! In fact, my nose looks BETTER now than before the accident - I had broken it a number of times and you could tell!
When I got out of prison, I had three surgeries on my hand to repair things. The tendons had retracted down to my wrist, so they had to make multiple incisions on my hand to find them and bring them back up… NOT FUN. Now I have problems deadlifting above 450 without straps cux my hand just wont hold it.
When I was tieing in a 200 Amp disconnect, some asshole energized the fucking wire I was working on and I got hit with 480 volts that blew a hole in both of my elbows. For years after that, you could feel a solid scar on the inside of my right forearm where the current traveled on it’s way to the hole in my elbow - it felt like a small rubber hose just under my skin. Smelled like bacon.
Got two screws in my shoulder and three knee surgeries from rugby.
Another time in Prison I got stabbed IN THE SHIN. I had just finished kicking this guys ass and while he was down, the fucker put a shank in the front of my leg! His mistake. I’ll leave it at that.
I got stabbed a total of five times, and some superficial cuts on a few other times - not much of it was very gruesome - just in and out leaving a small hole/scar.
Got hit in the side of the head with a lock in a sock (prison). Was in the rec-room watching Bay Watch and apparently I took this idiot’s seat. One minute I was watching Pamela Anderson’s tits bouncing up and down, the next minute stunned and bleeding on the floor. It didn’t knock me out, but I was hazy for a good ten seconds. I ended up shanking the guy in his face and getting put in the hole for several weeks. Almost caught a street charge on that one.
I’ll save the stories of all the beatings I took at the hands of my mother’s various boyfriends/husbands - suffice it to say that I’ve been beaten with everything from a shoe to a belt to an extension cord from the time I was about 4. One stepfather broke my ribs when I was eight, but my mother told the hospital I fell down the steps. That was pretty psychologically gruesome.
Saved the best for last: When I was 14, I made the bad decision to stick my nose where it didn’t belong. Had I minded my own business, it would have been completely avoided, but I was young and stupid and thought I was a bad ass. To make a long story short, I ended up getting STOMPED by about 15 guys. I went down fairly quickly thinking they’d get a few kicks in and get bored and leave.
Well they didn’t stop. The last thing I remember is them breaking a fence with my body, I don’t remember the rest. They broke two vertebrae in my neck, my first rib, my nose, my jaw, several fingers, cracked several other ribs, fractured my sternum (seriously, there’s like a piece missing at the tip now), my orbital socket and fractured my skull. Had about thirty stitches in my face where my teeth were through my lip and cuts around my eyebrows.
My face was so fucked up that my mother didn’t recognize me at the hospital. Now THAT’s the worst asswhuppin’ I ever took! Frankly, the “fall out” from that incident is what probably started me down the path that eventually led me to prison. It fucked me up pretty bad for a while and I seriously overcompensated (got a gun, joined a gang, etc…) to make sure it never happened again - probably to my detriment.
The rest of it wasn’t very entertaining, but I’ve broken plenty of bones and had plenty of stitches from various work/fun/stupid stuff. I’m tired of typing about it.[/quote]
what a life
[quote]spar4tee wrote:
[quote]angry chicken wrote:
OK, I’ll play. In order of gruesomeness:
So when I got up, I asked a worker nearby, “Dude, am I bleeding?”. His reply was, “DUDE, you need to go to the hospital, right now!”. LOL The look on his face was priceless. Three surgeries later, six months off work, a little plastic, titanium and cadaver tissue and I was once again the handsome man you all know and luv! In fact, my nose looks BETTER now than before the accident - I had broken it a number of times and you could tell!
When I got out of prison, I had three surgeries on my hand to repair things. The tendons had retracted down to my wrist, so they had to make multiple incisions on my hand to find them and bring them back up… NOT FUN. Now I have problems deadlifting above 450 without straps cux my hand just wont hold it.
When I was tieing in a 200 Amp disconnect, some asshole energized the fucking wire I was working on and I got hit with 480 volts that blew a hole in both of my elbows. For years after that, you could feel a solid scar on the inside of my right forearm where the current traveled on it’s way to the hole in my elbow - it felt like a small rubber hose just under my skin. Smelled like bacon.
Got two screws in my shoulder and three knee surgeries from rugby.
Another time in Prison I got stabbed IN THE SHIN. I had just finished kicking this guys ass and while he was down, the fucker put a shank in the front of my leg! His mistake. I’ll leave it at that.
I got stabbed a total of five times, and some superficial cuts on a few other times - not much of it was very gruesome - just in and out leaving a small hole/scar.
Got hit in the side of the head with a lock in a sock (prison). Was in the rec-room watching Bay Watch and apparently I took this idiot’s seat. One minute I was watching Pamela Anderson’s tits bouncing up and down, the next minute stunned and bleeding on the floor. It didn’t knock me out, but I was hazy for a good ten seconds. I ended up shanking the guy in his face and getting put in the hole for several weeks. Almost caught a street charge on that one.
I’ll save the stories of all the beatings I took at the hands of my mother’s various boyfriends/husbands - suffice it to say that I’ve been beaten with everything from a shoe to a belt to an extension cord from the time I was about 4. One stepfather broke my ribs when I was eight, but my mother told the hospital I fell down the steps. That was pretty psychologically gruesome.
Saved the best for last: When I was 14, I made the bad decision to stick my nose where it didn’t belong. Had I minded my own business, it would have been completely avoided, but I was young and stupid and thought I was a bad ass. To make a long story short, I ended up getting STOMPED by about 15 guys. I went down fairly quickly thinking they’d get a few kicks in and get bored and leave.
Well they didn’t stop. The last thing I remember is them breaking a fence with my body, I don’t remember the rest. They broke two vertebrae in my neck, my first rib, my nose, my jaw, several fingers, cracked several other ribs, fractured my sternum (seriously, there’s like a piece missing at the tip now), my orbital socket and fractured my skull. Had about thirty stitches in my face where my teeth were through my lip and cuts around my eyebrows.
My face was so fucked up that my mother didn’t recognize me at the hospital. Now THAT’s the worst asswhuppin’ I ever took! Frankly, the “fall out” from that incident is what probably started me down the path that eventually led me to prison. It fucked me up pretty bad for a while and I seriously overcompensated (got a gun, joined a gang, etc…) to make sure it never happened again - probably to my detriment.
The rest of it wasn’t very entertaining, but I’ve broken plenty of bones and had plenty of stitches from various work/fun/stupid stuff. I’m tired of typing about it.[/quote]
what a life[/quote]
x2 they are some brutal stories.
although I’d have liked to have seen the blokes face who said you need to go hospital
My most recent injury was a work injury. nothing serious but funny.
I was sledge hammering in a stake to hold down the marquee, the head came of the hammer.
I was pissed off cause I wanted to finish and go home.
I picked up the head and started hammering the stake with it. Somehow my ring finger of my left hand ended up between the hammer head and the stake. pain followed that. my finger was cut deep and it was bent in a funny direction at the ?end? knuckle. it didnt bleed much and wasnt very grusome but it was quite funny… for my boss.
[quote]twinexperience wrote:
Some guy drugged me, slit my lower abdomen open, and pulled a 7 Lb screaming human out of me… gross… [/quote]
Ya that sounds fucking disgusting. Thank god it didn’t like, come out of your vagina or anything because that would be super gross! =pp
[quote]red04 wrote:
[quote]twinexperience wrote:
Some guy drugged me, slit my lower abdomen open, and pulled a 7 Lb screaming human out of me… gross… [/quote]
Ya that sounds fucking disgusting. Thank god it didn’t like, come out of your vagina or anything because that would be super gross! =pp[/quote]
Do babies come out of vaginas?! I thought they came out of bums
Since there are no war stories, I’ll tell mine.
I came back from a really nasty episode involving assholes who were stealing drill pipe (being in the oil industry, I was deemed an “expert” and dealt with locals getting the oil industry re-booted and security for large tanks of fluid that like to blow up without help) and was sitting at a desk, drinking a Coke, in the Green Zone because I was a combat arms guy with a cushy REMF job instead of what I actually signed up to do.
Anyways, as I was sitting there drinking the Coke and filling out paperwork about which Haji was stealing shit from the other Haji, the “incoming” alarm went off, like it did every 15 minutes
I ignored it because I couldn’t get my work done sitting under my desk and I was trying to get some time to talk up the civilian chicks there from some oil company.
Promptly thereafter, sitting at my desk, next to a window, I was showered with glass and metal shit.
And, because I was trying to show my muscles to said civilian chicks (and also because the A/C was not great — tough assignment I had) I was wearing a tight t-shirt instead of having kevlar on or even my BDU which probably would have been enough to save me ---- I got showered with glass and metal bits that embedded all in my back, arms, and back of head (with a unhurt cool line from the straight back parts of the chair) all cut up all over.
Nothing deep. Basically like a cross between being shot with bird shot and road rash.
Got two days in the infirmary and picked shit out of my back for a month.
Anyway, I got a medal and have cool “Purple Heart” license plates that get me out of speeding tickets.
All for being a dumbass trying to get pussy.
As a bonus, I also got used as the example by the CO, in public, in front of like 500 guys, of why you don’t ignore the incoming siren and why you shouldn’t be out of uniform. That was really cool.
[quote]pgtips wrote:
Christ. That is a laundry list. didnt getting shot put you off?![/quote]
Nah, getting shot was not really that bad to tell you the truth. It didn’t really hurt, it just felt like it was burning. Front squats hurt worse, and the subsequent lawsuit bought me my first house. lol
[quote]thethirdruffian wrote:
Since there are no war stories, I’ll tell mine.
I came back from a really nasty episode involving assholes who were stealing drill pipe (being in the oil industry, I was deemed an “expert” and dealt with locals getting the oil industry re-booted and security for large tanks of fluid that like to blow up without help) and was sitting at a desk, drinking a Coke, in the Green Zone because I was a combat arms guy with a cushy REMF job instead of what I actually signed up to do.
Anyways, as I was sitting there drinking the Coke and filling out paperwork about which Haji was stealing shit from the other Haji, the “incoming” alarm went off, like it did every 15 minutes
I ignored it because I couldn’t get my work done sitting under my desk and I was trying to get some time to talk up the civilian chicks there from some oil company.
Promptly thereafter, sitting at my desk, next to a window, I was showered with glass and metal shit.
And, because I was trying to show my muscles to said civilian chicks (and also because the A/C was not great — tough assignment I had) I was wearing a tight t-shirt instead of having kevlar on or even my BDU which probably would have been enough to save me ---- I got showered with glass and metal bits that embedded all in my back, arms, and back of head (with a unhurt cool line from the straight back parts of the chair) all cut up all over.
Nothing deep. Basically like a cross between being shot with bird shot and road rash.
Got two days in the infirmary and picked shit out of my back for a month.
Anyway, I got a medal and have cool “Purple Heart” license plates that get me out of speeding tickets.
All for being a dumbass trying to get pussy.
As a bonus, I also got used as the example by the CO, in public, in front of like 500 guys, of why you don’t ignore the incoming siren and why you shouldn’t be out of uniform. That was really cool.[/quote]
Did you at least get the pussy? lol
[quote]overstand wrote:
[quote]ucallthatbass wrote:
-Had the claw end of a hammer stuck in my tibia (long story) I pulled it out myself (bad idea).
[/quote]
omg[/quote]
If you push down on the scar you can feel a huge dent in the bone. I chunk of bone is missing.
OHHH OH OH I remember another one!!! Dropped a 45 plate from about chest height, while loading a shoulder press machine, directly on my left foot. This happened over the summer, only broke 4 toes, and not the big one so the dr. said i was lucky. The last black nail just fell off last week.
Penis surgery
[quote]byukid wrote:
Penis surgery[/quote]
YOU WIN, backs away from thread slowly…::door closes, bass runs as fast as humanly possible::
[quote]ucallthatbass wrote:
OHHH OH OH I remember another one!!! Dropped a 45 plate from about chest height, while loading a shoulder press machine, directly on my left foot. This happened over the summer, only broke 4 toes, and not the big one so the dr. said i was lucky. The last black nail just fell off last week.[/quote]
Nice, sounds pleasant.
[quote]byukid wrote:
Penis surgery[/quote]
Sounds even better.
[quote]ucallthatbass wrote:
OHHH OH OH I remember another one!!! Dropped a 45 plate from about chest height, while loading a shoulder press machine, directly on my left foot. This happened over the summer, only broke 4 toes, and not the big one so the dr. said i was lucky. The last black nail just fell off last week.[/quote]
Yep, did that too. Nothing was broken but it fucking hurt!
[quote]angry chicken wrote:
OK, I’ll play. In order of gruesomeness:
So when I got up, I asked a worker nearby, “Dude, am I bleeding?”. His reply was, “DUDE, you need to go to the hospital, right now!”. LOL The look on his face was priceless. Three surgeries later, six months off work, a little plastic, titanium and cadaver tissue and I was once again the handsome man you all know and luv! In fact, my nose looks BETTER now than before the accident - I had broken it a number of times and you could tell!
When I got out of prison, I had three surgeries on my hand to repair things. The tendons had retracted down to my wrist, so they had to make multiple incisions on my hand to find them and bring them back up… NOT FUN. Now I have problems deadlifting above 450 without straps cux my hand just wont hold it.
When I was tieing in a 200 Amp disconnect, some asshole energized the fucking wire I was working on and I got hit with 480 volts that blew a hole in both of my elbows. For years after that, you could feel a solid scar on the inside of my right forearm where the current traveled on it’s way to the hole in my elbow - it felt like a small rubber hose just under my skin. Smelled like bacon.
Got two screws in my shoulder and three knee surgeries from rugby.
Another time in Prison I got stabbed IN THE SHIN. I had just finished kicking this guys ass and while he was down, the fucker put a shank in the front of my leg! His mistake. I’ll leave it at that.
I got stabbed a total of five times, and some superficial cuts on a few other times - not much of it was very gruesome - just in and out leaving a small hole/scar.
Got hit in the side of the head with a lock in a sock (prison). Was in the rec-room watching Bay Watch and apparently I took this idiot’s seat. One minute I was watching Pamela Anderson’s tits bouncing up and down, the next minute stunned and bleeding on the floor. It didn’t knock me out, but I was hazy for a good ten seconds. I ended up shanking the guy in his face and getting put in the hole for several weeks. Almost caught a street charge on that one.
I’ll save the stories of all the beatings I took at the hands of my mother’s various boyfriends/husbands - suffice it to say that I’ve been beaten with everything from a shoe to a belt to an extension cord from the time I was about 4. One stepfather broke my ribs when I was eight, but my mother told the hospital I fell down the steps. That was pretty psychologically gruesome.
Saved the best for last: When I was 14, I made the bad decision to stick my nose where it didn’t belong. Had I minded my own business, it would have been completely avoided, but I was young and stupid and thought I was a bad ass. To make a long story short, I ended up getting STOMPED by about 15 guys. I went down fairly quickly thinking they’d get a few kicks in and get bored and leave.
Well they didn’t stop. The last thing I remember is them breaking a fence with my body, I don’t remember the rest. They broke two vertebrae in my neck, my first rib, my nose, my jaw, several fingers, cracked several other ribs, fractured my sternum (seriously, there’s like a piece missing at the tip now), my orbital socket and fractured my skull. Had about thirty stitches in my face where my teeth were through my lip and cuts around my eyebrows.
My face was so fucked up that my mother didn’t recognize me at the hospital. Now THAT’s the worst asswhuppin’ I ever took! Frankly, the “fall out” from that incident is what probably started me down the path that eventually led me to prison. It fucked me up pretty bad for a while and I seriously overcompensated (got a gun, joined a gang, etc…) to make sure it never happened again - probably to my detriment.
The rest of it wasn’t very entertaining, but I’ve broken plenty of bones and had plenty of stitches from various work/fun/stupid stuff. I’m tired of typing about it.[/quote]
I think you win mate. Not sure if “win” is the best word for the situation though…
[quote]angry chicken wrote:
OK, I’ll play. In order of gruesomeness:
So when I got up, I asked a worker nearby, “Dude, am I bleeding?”. His reply was, “DUDE, you need to go to the hospital, right now!”. LOL The look on his face was priceless. Three surgeries later, six months off work, a little plastic, titanium and cadaver tissue and I was once again the handsome man you all know and luv! In fact, my nose looks BETTER now than before the accident - I had broken it a number of times and you could tell!
When I got out of prison, I had three surgeries on my hand to repair things. The tendons had retracted down to my wrist, so they had to make multiple incisions on my hand to find them and bring them back up… NOT FUN. Now I have problems deadlifting above 450 without straps cux my hand just wont hold it.
When I was tieing in a 200 Amp disconnect, some asshole energized the fucking wire I was working on and I got hit with 480 volts that blew a hole in both of my elbows. For years after that, you could feel a solid scar on the inside of my right forearm where the current traveled on it’s way to the hole in my elbow - it felt like a small rubber hose just under my skin. Smelled like bacon.
Got two screws in my shoulder and three knee surgeries from rugby.
Another time in Prison I got stabbed IN THE SHIN. I had just finished kicking this guys ass and while he was down, the fucker put a shank in the front of my leg! His mistake. I’ll leave it at that.
I got stabbed a total of five times, and some superficial cuts on a few other times - not much of it was very gruesome - just in and out leaving a small hole/scar.
Got hit in the side of the head with a lock in a sock (prison). Was in the rec-room watching Bay Watch and apparently I took this idiot’s seat. One minute I was watching Pamela Anderson’s tits bouncing up and down, the next minute stunned and bleeding on the floor. It didn’t knock me out, but I was hazy for a good ten seconds. I ended up shanking the guy in his face and getting put in the hole for several weeks. Almost caught a street charge on that one.
I’ll save the stories of all the beatings I took at the hands of my mother’s various boyfriends/husbands - suffice it to say that I’ve been beaten with everything from a shoe to a belt to an extension cord from the time I was about 4. One stepfather broke my ribs when I was eight, but my mother told the hospital I fell down the steps. That was pretty psychologically gruesome.
Saved the best for last: When I was 14, I made the bad decision to stick my nose where it didn’t belong. Had I minded my own business, it would have been completely avoided, but I was young and stupid and thought I was a bad ass. To make a long story short, I ended up getting STOMPED by about 15 guys. I went down fairly quickly thinking they’d get a few kicks in and get bored and leave.
Well they didn’t stop. The last thing I remember is them breaking a fence with my body, I don’t remember the rest. They broke two vertebrae in my neck, my first rib, my nose, my jaw, several fingers, cracked several other ribs, fractured my sternum (seriously, there’s like a piece missing at the tip now), my orbital socket and fractured my skull. Had about thirty stitches in my face where my teeth were through my lip and cuts around my eyebrows.
My face was so fucked up that my mother didn’t recognize me at the hospital. Now THAT’s the worst asswhuppin’ I ever took! Frankly, the “fall out” from that incident is what probably started me down the path that eventually led me to prison. It fucked me up pretty bad for a while and I seriously overcompensated (got a gun, joined a gang, etc…) to make sure it never happened again - probably to my detriment.
The rest of it wasn’t very entertaining, but I’ve broken plenty of bones and had plenty of stitches from various work/fun/stupid stuff. I’m tired of typing about it.[/quote]
I was expecting something like this from you, you bullshitter!
I kid I kid… I do love men with many scars…
[quote]twinexperience wrote:
Some guy drugged me, slit my lower abdomen open, and pulled a 7 Lb screaming human out of me…
gross… [/quote]
Rofl!! I love your story!
At 13 or 14, I wanted to play hero and protect a couple of girlfriends and my cousin in a big after- school brawl with a gang of 15 or more girls and boys. Some jealous girls accused my cousin of sleeping with some guy. They were beating my cousin to the pulp when my friends jumped in. Then I jumped in too. I wasn’t too quick to dodge a knife and someone slashed me in the neck. Nevertheless I carried on pummelling my attackers.
One of the girls flung acid at my cousin and some of it hit me. It was only a small amount but damn, it melted my flesh like… butter melts under the heat? I then realized I was hurt for realz and it was time to get the fuck out of here, man.
The only thing I remember is fighting my way in panic out of the battling crowd with flying objects like sticks, stones, glass, even shoes, man. Back then, I thought I’d reached my pain threshold but nothing compares to acid burn. I think I passed out before even making it to the safe side…
When I woke up at the hospital, they told me I wasn’t pretty any more…
