Stupidest Things You've Done

There are threads about stupid quotes in the gym and stupid this or that, but no thread where you can confess your stupidest actions as a whole. I need to get a couple of things off my chest and free up my spirit.

1). As a kid I swam too far out into the ocean trying to get to that last buoy way out there. I reached it but I couldn’t swim back and had to be rescued by the Coast Guard. Cost my father 850 bucks.

2). Once again as a 6 year old kid (only kids do stupid things, for a young adult they’re called “a learning experience”) I got in trouble at school and was afraid I was going to get aggressively punished. I hid in my closet, fell asleep, and was woken up 6 hours later by the police who had been scouring the neighbourhood searching for me. Cost my father nothing but a good ribbing as he too was a policeman.

I can keep going all day…

At a local nightclub, one of those ones with a big second floor that looks down on the dance floor, I noticed that at one of the bars on the second floor, in that cage above the bar where they keep the booze…if I knocked one over and used a coat hanger I could steal some Galliano (it needed to be a tall bottle for this to work) so I sent a buddy to watch the stairs (it was a weeknight so the bar wasn’t too busy) for a bouncer and so i started loading up glasses with goddamned Galliano and from the other set of stairs a bouncer came bouncing up…so I ran past my buddy and down the stairs and out the door.

I stayed away from that bar for a few weeks and when I came back there was plexiglass type stuff surrounding all the liquor cages.

Oh this was when I was 18 or 19 by the way.

when I was 18, I woke up in bed with no memory of how I’d gotten home. I went downstairs and my dad was looking at me in pure disappointment.

Turns out I’d staggered in, blind drunk, and proceeded to take a piss on the coffee table in our sitting room.

The worst part of it was a family friend was staying with us that night, sleeping on the sofa. She woke up to find me (she’d never met me before so didn’t know who I was) pissing on the table next to where she was sleeping.

Pretty embarrassing.

^^Not very hospitable to say the least.

[quote]Cuso wrote:
^^Not very hospitable to say the least.[/quote]

are you kidding? There’s perverts out there who’d love to wake up to my piss!

Marrying my X wife

[quote]rds63799 wrote:
when I was 18, I woke up in bed with no memory of how I’d gotten home. I went downstairs and my dad was looking at me in pure disappointment.

Turns out I’d staggered in, blind drunk, and proceeded to take a piss on the coffee table in our sitting room.

The worst part of it was a family friend was staying with us that night, sleeping on the sofa. She woke up to find me (she’d never met me before so didn’t know who I was) pissing on the table next to where she was sleeping.

Pretty embarrassing.[/quote]

Kind of like this is the morning I woke up and my jeans that I’d thrown on the floor when I’d gone to bed were wet…but all over…I mean like they’d been washed and then thrown on the floor.
I’d been drinking the night before…but it was only 5 or 6 beers, or 7…but not black out stuff at all.
It also hadn’t been raining or anything.

It’s sort of a Twilight Zone thing.

[quote]Derek542 wrote:
Marrying my X wife[/quote]

Hardcore stupid. Did you get the settlement and alimony back?

putting pussy on the pedistool.

[quote]Derek542 wrote:
Marrying my X wife[/quote]

Gimme her number

She do anal?

In texas?

I will be in Dallas late August…maybe

[quote]Cuso wrote:

[quote]Derek542 wrote:
Marrying my X wife[/quote]

Hardcore stupid. Did you get the settlement and alimony back?[/quote]

We dont have settlement or alimony in Texas. Only thing that dumbass cunt has done in life was give me two wonderful kids and she has tried her best to fuck them up.

[quote]Derek542 wrote:

[quote]Cuso wrote:

[quote]Derek542 wrote:
Marrying my X wife[/quote]

Hardcore stupid. Did you get the settlement and alimony back?[/quote]

We dont have settlement or alimony in Texas. Only thing that dumbass cunt has done in life was give me two wonderful kids and she has tried her best to fuck them up. [/quote]

Well then your post doesn’t qualify as stupid, you’ve done something smart to help your kids.

  1. Sleep with an officer’s wife.

  2. Sleep with an officer.

  3. Sleep with a high school buddy’s girlfriend who is now his wife.

I was asked once if I wanted to go see a movie called Twilight and said yes without even knowing what the movie was about.

I watched about 20 minutes of it on HBO a while back and it truly is horrible. Really bad dialog and the way everyone acts…the girl has her mouth open all the time, the Edward guy is ostensibly supposed to look like he’s holding himself back from drinking her blood all the time but he just ends up looking like he’s cold or shooting his load into his pantaloons and the werewolf guy looks stupid. I mean genuinely stupid…as in the actor playing him has eyes that are too close together and just looks very unintelligent.

I was showing my mom how to lock and unlock a canister or pepper spray to use against dogs as she jogs…people are careless with gates around here

Anyway I used the bathroom…took a piss without washing my hands and didn’t realize I had. Pepper spray on my hands

Grabbed my dick and instantly it was on fire

Wasted a whole day sobbing in a bathtub

[quote]Dr.Matt581 wrote:
I was asked once if I wanted to go see a movie called Twilight and said yes without even knowing what the movie was about. [/quote]

With that title, you probably expected something totaly different like some kind of cool thriller, or sci-fi film. Not some tele-tubby vamp trash.

[quote]Ct. Rockula wrote:
I was showing my mom how to lock and unlock a canister or pepper spray to use against dogs as she jogs…people are careless with gates around here

Anyway I used the bathroom…took a piss without washing my hands and didn’t realize I had. Pepper spray on my hands

Grabbed my dick and instantly it was on fire

Wasted a whole day sobbing in a bathtub

[/quote]

Thats where you got the threat of “putting pepper spray on my dick and face fucking you” which you used in another thread. BTW that was a cool threat.

[quote]Cuso wrote:

[quote]Ct. Rockula wrote:
I was showing my mom how to lock and unlock a canister or pepper spray to use against dogs as she jogs…people are careless with gates around here

Anyway I used the bathroom…took a piss without washing my hands and didn’t realize I had. Pepper spray on my hands

Grabbed my dick and instantly it was on fire

Wasted a whole day sobbing in a bathtub

[/quote]

Thats where you got the threat of “putting pepper spray on my dick and face fucking you” which you used in another thread. BTW that was a cool threat.[/quote]

That’s not where it came from.

A dude I went to high school with put pepper spray on a condom and fucked his gf before he broke up with her.

[quote]Ct. Rockula wrote:

[quote]Cuso wrote:

[quote]Ct. Rockula wrote:
I was showing my mom how to lock and unlock a canister or pepper spray to use against dogs as she jogs…people are careless with gates around here

Anyway I used the bathroom…took a piss without washing my hands and didn’t realize I had. Pepper spray on my hands

Grabbed my dick and instantly it was on fire

Wasted a whole day sobbing in a bathtub

[/quote]

Thats where you got the threat of “putting pepper spray on my dick and face fucking you” which you used in another thread. BTW that was a cool threat.[/quote]

That’s not where it came from.

A dude I went to high school with put pepper spray on a condom and fucked his gf before he broke up with her.[/quote]

Man, that was nasty. I’ll bet she never asked anyone else to use a raincoat .